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Blane Britt

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Mar, 2020

Stories (120)

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529 Followers

156 Following

120 Stories

2915 karma pts

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The Only “Change” is That No One Wants To Face or Hear is the Truth

Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #45

The biggest fear in the world human beings and probably some aliens and animals if they could talk are facing today is “change”. Imagine that you come home early from work and tell your wife and kids that by next week we’ll be living in Budapest. What the @#!$ their first thoughts! Some families may look at that situation optimistically and think, Hey Bread Winner, "That’s great, I can’t wait to see what a new culture and people I can learn from!" Other, families however, may look at that same exact statement from you and immediately experie...

15 likes

Farewell

Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #44

When I got to thinking about what would be a good way to lead off a story with two people saying there last goodbyes forever, there was only one movie that came to mind. There are great movie scenes and then there’s what “I” consider to be the greatest movie scene of all time: Rick (Humphrey Bogart) putting Isla (Ingrid Bergman) on a plane and saying "farewell" in the classic movie Casablanca. My saying farewell to Charlotte O’Hara wasn’t nearly as dramatic nor epic. We had dated for three years on again, off again and our love for one anoth...

28 likes

It Could Happen to You

Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #44

For 25 years I smoked at least one pack of cigarettes a day. That meant during that period or my smoking life span I must have inhaled over 182,500 cigarettes, filtered and nonfiltered. Now I’m lying in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit), asking myself was it worth it having one of my lungs permanently removed. Before the anesthetic took over I heard the doctor telling one of the nurses that my remaining lung should be put on life support system. The human body has two lungs, a left and a right. However, the lungs are segmented into lobes. The ri...

20 likes

When

Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #44

I grew up in a time period when, the successors of Paleolithic humans adapted to the rapid global warming that constitutes the beginning of our present interglacial period, circa 9,600 BCE ago. Even back in them days we were will aware of Global Warming even if writing wasn’t invented not even on cave walls and surely not a Bic lighter. The earliest writing systems appeared c. 5,300 years ago, but it took thousands of years for writing to be widely adopted, and it was not used in some human cultures until the 19th century or even until ...

18 likes

What A Surprise My Ex Girlfriend Got When She Returned from a Trip

Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #44

When my ex girlfriend returned home from our only vacation from San Juan Capistrano, California. Well, let me go back a bit. Just like those swallow birds automatically return to San Juan Capistrano. Centuries ago the San Juan Capistrano Mission padres noticed that the swallows returned consistently on St. Joseph’s Day. The tradition of celebrating the swallows return to Capistrano began then and people would arrive from around the world to officially welcome the birds back. My ex girlfriend had gone there for 6 consecutive years. I went wit...

17 likes

Really!

Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #44

What I’m about to share with you, you must swear upon all the gothic statues that atop the roof of Notre Dame de Paris. You see those gargoyle were carved or formed into grotesque looking dragons or demons from the underworld ruled by the grim god Hades and his queen Persephone with a spout designed to convey water from a roof and away from the side of a building, thereby preventing rainwater from running down masonry walls and eroding the mortar between. I often times wonder why didn’t they just design gutters instead.Rumor has it tha...

16 likes

The Prodigal Son

Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #43

Like most child geniuses I never really got to know my parents. I was constantly being told that the world needed my intellect. I was always being dragged off to solve some kind of calamity in the world ever sense I was 4 years old. I told the now dysfunctional FBI that there was no need to keep looking for Jimmy Hoffa dead remains because his body was devoured in a huge meat grinder and fed to the pigs. They will go through bone like butter. You need at least 16 pigs to finish the job in one setting, so be wary of any man who keeps a ...

10 likes

Unlikely

Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #43

I met Ota Benga while skiing in the slopes at Ecole du ski Francis ESF Isola 2000 in the alps. It was strange seeing a 4 foot 3 inch pygmy skiing instructor. I too looked strange as a 6 foot 9 inch 382 pound professional wrestler who goes by the name of Doctor Savage. The two of us bonded right away and have been best friends for over 20 years now.The first thing I asked him long ago is how did he ever learn to ski. Isn’t it virtually true that all Pygmy people are hunters and gatherers, practicing neither agriculture nor cattle raising? Did...

9 likes

Mother-in-Laws

Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #43

My wife and I were discovering that we really didn’t know one another. It has everything to do with the Coronavirus. After being married for over 35 years when we were suddenly forced to live as one. We were now also experiencing an empty nest for the first time. Even our only child a 34 year old slacker son Lamont had finally moved out of our basement taking with him his video games, drums, interracial blow up dolls and his Carburetor Bong, Straight-Tube Bong, Beaker-Shaped Glass Bong, Round-Base Bong, Multi-Chamber Bong, Percolator Bong, B...

13 likes

Fictional and Human Transformations

Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #43

There are several people and fictional characters who effected my life personally by transforming themselves into something I feel they should not have done or have been capable of doing. But who I’m I to judge? The first fictional character I want to discuss is The Hulk a fictional superhero who is green-skinned. He’s also a hulking and muscular humanoid who like me possesses a vast degree of physical strength along with our alter ego Dr. Robert Bruce Banner, a physically weak, socially withdrawn, and emotionally reserved physicist, w...

10 likes

Demolition Man

Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #43

I’m a construction worker who’s main job is demolition. I get very excited each and every time using that 12,000 pound wrecking ball. You’ll be truly amazed what you’ll find hidden in between the walls or what might be living or buried in the basement. Before any demolition can be done the structure has to be inspected. The house in questioned that I was inspecting to make sure that asbestos didn’t have to be removed first was once the most beautiful home in the neighborhood and now had been abandoned for several years. The owner was a...

9 likes

Wicked Dreams

Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #42

My psychiatrist can’t figure out why I refuse to go to sleep. Sometimes I have the unique ability to stay awake for 7 days (168 hours) straight. Randy Gardner an American high school student from San Diego, California, who set the record for the longest time a human has gone without sleep. In December 1963/January 1964, 17-year-old Gardner stayed awake for 11 days and 25 minutes (264.4 hours), breaking the previous record of 260 hours held by Honolulu DJ Tom Rounds. But when I finally do fall to sleep and dream. I have unbelievable dreams th...

5 likes

Who’s the Real Baby Daddy of Hellboy?

Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #42

I met and immediately bonded with Skullduggery (aka Melvin Brown) its obvious how he got that nickname because he was underhanded and he always maliciously acted upon minor things with unscrupulous behavior and trickery. Basically he was a no good human being and he knew it at an early age. Skullduggery is originally a Scots work from the early 18th Century meaning lewd behavior. Skullduggery is merely a corruption of that and the meaning altered to include living life in a dastardly, sneaky, dishonest, low, sly or devious ways. According to...

5 likes

Circle

Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #42

Most geometry students learn there are 360 degrees in a circle, 180 degrees in a semicircle and 90 degrees in a quarter of a circle. What I’m about to share with you as to how I did a 360 degree circle in my one sided fantasy relationship with a hat check girl named Adelaide Müller. In the summer of 1947 I was stationed at Spangdahlem Air Base a United States Air Force installation. It was home to the 52nd Fighter Wing, which is supported by various subordinate groups that specialize in operations, maintenance, logistics, medical and personn...

4 likes

My mail Ordered Bride

Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #42

I’ve been a bachelor for too long now at 41 years of age in 2020. I’m employed as a Public Relations Specialist earning more than $62,000 a year. I also have three laundromats that I owned and operate at full capacity. I’m finding it more and more difficult to get married in hopes of finding an American woman who won’t more than likely eventually fall in love with another woman. I guesstimate with the feminist movement, women's liberation, Susan B. Anthony, female emancipation, women's rights, post feminism, womanism, Elizabeth Cady St...

7 likes