Blane Britt

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Mar, 2020

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39 Stories

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“The Prodigal Son” by Blane Britt

Submitted on 05/27/2020

Like most child geniuses I never really got to know my parents. I was constantly being told that the world needed my intellect. I was always being dragged off to solve some kind of calamity in the world ever sense I was 4 years old.  I told the now dysfunctional FBI that there was no need to keep looking for Jimmy Hoffa dead remains because his body was devoured in a huge meat grinder and fed to the pigs. They will go through bone like butter. You need at least 16 pigs to finish the job in one setting, so be wary of any man who keeps...

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“Unlikely” by Blane Britt

Submitted on 05/27/2020

I met Ota Benga while skiing in the slopes at Ecole du ski Francis ESF Isola 2000 in the alps. It was strange seeing a 4 foot 3 inch pygmy skiing instructor. I too looked strange as a 6 foot 9 inch 382 pound professional wrestler who goes by the name of Doctor Savage. The two of us bonded right away and have been best friends for over 20 years now.The first thing I asked him long ago is how did he ever learn to ski. Isn’t it virtually true that all Pygmy people are hunters and gatherers, practicing neither agriculture nor cattle ra...

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“Mother-in-Laws” by Blane Britt

Submitted on 05/25/2020

My wife and I were discovering that we really didn’t know one another. It has everything to do with the Coronavirus. After being married for over 35 years when we were suddenly forced to live as one. We were now also experiencing an empty nest for the first time. Even our only child a 34 year old slacker son Lamont had finally moved out of our basement taking with him his video games, drums, interracial blow up dolls and his Carburetor Bong, Straight-Tube Bong, Beaker-Shaped Glass Bong, Round-Base ...

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“Fictional and Human Transformations” by Blane Britt

Submitted on 05/24/2020

There are several people and fictional characters who effected my life personally by transforming themselves into something I feel they should not have done or have been capable of doing. But who I’m I to judge? The first fictional character I want to discuss is The Hulk a fictional superhero who is  green-skinned. He’s also a hulking and muscular humanoid who like me possesses a vast degree of physical strength along with our alter ego Dr. Robert Bruce Banner, a physically weak, socially withdrawn, and emotionally reserved ph...

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“Demolition Man” by Blane Britt

Submitted on 05/23/2020

I’m a construction worker who’s main job is demolition. I get very excited each and every time using that 12,000 pound wrecking ball. You’ll be truly amazed what you’ll find hidden in between the walls or what might be living or buried in the basement. Before any demolition can be done the structure has to be inspected. The house in questioned that I was inspecting to make sure that asbestos didn’t have to be removed first was once the most beautiful home in the neighborhood and now  had been abandoned for several years.

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“Wicked Dreams” by Blane Britt

Submitted on 05/18/2020

My psychiatrist can’t figure out why I refuse to go to sleep. Sometimes I have the unique ability to stay awake for 7 days (168 hours) straight. Randy Gardner an American high school student from San Diego, California, who set the record for the longest time a human has gone without sleep. In December 1963/January 1964, 17-year-old Gardner stayed awake for 11 days and 25 minutes (264.4 hours), breaking the previous record of 260 hours held by Honolulu DJ Tom Rounds. But when I finally do fall to sleep and dream. I have unbelievable...

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“Who’s the Real Baby Daddy of Hellboy?” by Blane Britt

Submitted on 05/17/2020

I met and immediately bonded with Skullduggery (aka Melvin Brown) its obvious how he got that nickname because he was underhanded and he always maliciously acted upon minor things with unscrupulous behavior and trickery. Basically he was a no good human being and he knew it at an early age. Skullduggery is originally a Scots work from the early 18th Century meaning lewd behavior. Skullduggery is merely a corruption of that and the meaning altered to include living life in a dastardly, sneaky, dishonest, low, sly or deviou...

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“Circle” by Blane Britt

Submitted on 05/17/2020

Most geometry students learn there are 360 degrees in a circle, 180 degrees in a semicircle and 90 degrees in a quarter of a circle. What I’m about to share with you as to how I did a 360 degree circle in my one sided fantasy relationship with a hat check girl named Adelaide Müller. In the summer of 1947 I was stationed at Spangdahlem Air Base a United States Air Force installation. It was home to the 52nd Fighter Wing, which is supported by various subordinate groups that speciali...

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“My mail Ordered Bride” by Blane Britt

Submitted on 05/16/2020

I’ve been a bachelor for too long now at 41 years of age in 2020. I’m employed as a Public Relations Specialist earning more than $62,000 a year. I also have three laundromats that I owned and operate at full capacity. I’m finding it more and more difficult to get married in hopes  of finding an American woman who won’t more than likely eventually fall in love with another woman. I guesstimate with the feminist movement, women's liberation, Susan B. Anthony, female emancipation, women's rights, post feminism, womanism, Elizabeth Cady...

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“The Black Envelope” by Blane Britt

Submitted on 05/16/2020

I watched her for over an hour and a half pick pocketing people outside of Hard Rock Stadium at Miami Gardens, Fla. Super Bowl LVI. I was doing Miami police undercover work to protect innocent drunk fans. She was wearing a Victorian inspired long length sheer shift lace dress with fancy cuffs and buttons.  In all honesty she reminded me of some kind of Fortune Teller looking through a crystal ball or reading tarot cards or reading Lipton tea leaves that you just might see in a late night movie starring Gypsy Rose...

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“Kelpie” by Blane Britt

Submitted on 05/11/2020

I really enjoy looking forward each week of the prompts that are suggested to write about. It has helped me immensely in my short story writing development. One week I was so baffled that I couldn’t relate to any of the subject matter so I didn’t write anything. If anyone outside of whomever chose the prompt to write something about subvert expectations this week and knows what it means. I’ll wear my Yankee ball cap backwards on my head for a week. Wearing your San Diego Padre baseball cap backward will not help you get a girlfrie...

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“Akuchi ” by Blane Britt

Submitted on 05/10/2020

I’m not going to sit here and try to tell you that I was raised in the Congo Jungle by a troop of chimpanzees like Tarzan.  I’m a psychology professor at Grambling State University. Grambling State is a public university located in Grambling, Louisiana. As a historically black college, GSU has a strong history of and commitment to the education of black Americans. It is a small institution with an enrollment of 3,734 undergraduate students. The Grambling State accept...

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“Ackadakka” by Blane Britt

Submitted on 05/10/2020

I’m so thankful that I’m not writing you this serious message from  92 miles below the surface of the earth just like the Oarlocks a humanoid species which were once descended from humans, particularly low-class underground machine license plate operators. They exist in several future timelines, notably in Oaror. They were subterranean and prefer dark, as their eyes were sensitive to light. After the Covid-19 or Coronapocalypse as it was called in the hood wiped out 27% of the world’s population in 2020. The aliens from our re...

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“Python Snakes” by Blane Britt

Submitted on 05/09/2020

I’m not into Ophiology the study and science of snakes in specific. It’s a branch of herpetology that is exclusive to snakes. Another word used for this field is “Ophiodiology” and we call that weird person who does this kind of job a Pee-Wee Herman “Ophiologist”. Remember herpetology is the science of reptiles and amphibians”. As a matter a fact! I don’t even like snakes since what happened in the Garden of Eden. The Garden of Eden is described in Genesis, Chapters 2 and 3. The Lord created the Garden specifically...

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“Me and Ernie the Wallaroo” by Blane Britt

Submitted on 05/09/2020

I met Ernie the Wallaroo while visiting Dharug National Park located in the Central Coast region of New South Wales, in eastern Australia. I was looking through my binoculars at gang-gang cockatoos, satin bowerbirds and green catbirds on the mountain slopes. I heard someone or something saying mate! Hey mate it shouted in an Australian accent. Help an Australian brother Roo out! I stopped looking at the wonderful sight to see who was calling me. All I seen was a moderately large macropod, intermediate in size between the kangaroos ...

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Author bio

My name is Blane Britt and I've been been writing short stories for the past 25 years. I find a true escape through my minds eyes and written voice.