Blane Britt

“It wasn't True” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #57

I’ve always been fascinated with H. G. Wells, Time Machine. Of course we all know that time travel is still impossible in 2020. I think, therefore I am. Besides, I wouldn’t want to forward myself to the future just to learn that I was once considered being the most wanted man in the world by the FBI and CIA dead or alive for finally giving proof that Aliens do exist on the planets Earth and Mars. There are many rock formations on the surface of Mars which resembles the Mayan statues of earth.  In the future or past I’m barely ahead of t...

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“Wills” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #57

In 1988 I hit the Florida lottery for 16 million and after taxes of 37% I still had enough to financially take care of my family and closes friends. The funny thing about winning money you soon discover you have a whole lot of relatives and church people you never knew existed. The first advice my attorney’s quoted to me is that I quickly make a will. I was only 27 years of age at the time and me dying never even entered my young mind. After spending 43% of my winnings on  "Wine, women and song" that is a hendiatris that endorses hedo...

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“No Rodeo Clowning For Me” by Blane Britt

Did you ever hear the song "Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys," sang by the nonpaying 16 million in back taxes country singing star Willie Nelson? I know it wasn’t necessary to add ole Willie Nelson’s unpaid tax woes, but sometimes when I’m writing a short or long story my thoughts in my written voice tends to shifts in 92 different subjects and directions. I’ll get back on course of the subject matter Faster Than a New York minute. (As the title implies, this fact is about how quickly and drastically life can change. ...

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“I Was Just Too Young To Be A Stay at Home Dad” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #56

When most teenagers upon graduating from high school were outside trying to discover what they truly wanted to become in life. I was at home tending to my 13 month old baby girl. Her mother was a 42 year old career woman so it was my assigned duty as the father to become a stay home dad at 19 teen years old. I had gotten so deep into my job that I even came up with a daily schedule. Unbeknown to baby Rebecca’s non caring mother Katherine. 6 am My alarm goes off quietly. Baby Rebecca gets up at seven no matter what, like she's punching a clo...

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“From His or Hers Blind Dating Perspectives” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #56

I’m at the age (42) where most of my male and female friends are married. Its not like I’m not ready to involve myself in a committed relationship. Its just that we haven’t found one another yet. Once you read about all the supposedly romantic dates and blind dates I willingly and unwillingly attended you’ll see exactly why I’m still single. In truth I could use a tax break if you know what I mean. I met a woman a little younger than myself (28) online and we talked maybe ten or 13 times over the course of a couple of weeks. Then one night ...

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“Mixed!” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #56

Due to circumstances way beyond my control. My family and I were forced to move back to Mississippi where my mother grew up. When my father was killed by some crazed crack head for $188 dollars and 73 cents in change at a Time Saver Gas Station/Store, we had no choice but to uproot from our suburban home in Tallahassee, Florida. My mother who is black never finished high school and never worked with an IQ will over 144. Her only job was to raise us six children by my white father who was and Executive Branch Manager for IBM.  He attend...

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“My 30th Surprise Birthday Party” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #56

It’s not easy being a rich entrepreneur single Bachelor in Wisconsin of all places. There are only 9 billionaires who dwell here. I’m not even close to being one of them. But I’m in the high 8 figures according to Forbes 400 Magazine. In 2020, the female population in Wisconsin is 3 million women persons. Not to mention the 23rd rank state in America with 121,881 LGBT citizens gayly living and thriving throughout the state of Wisconsin. After graduating from Northwestern University and the Kellogg School of Management at the top of my clas...

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“You Won’t Believe How We Met” by Blane Britt

I’m standing in line at the Bmo Harris Bank on 1300 S Wabash Ave, Chicago to cash my pitiful paycheck of $318.00 before taxes. That I received from busting suds all week at Fogo de Chao Restaurant that is the leading Brazilian steakhouse, or churrascaria, which specializes in fire-roasting high-quality meats since 1979 utilizing the centuries-old Southern Brazilian cooking technique of churrasco.  Yeah, I know that was (TMI), too much information. Anyway, I’m standing in a long line when suddenly 3 people came inside the bank wear...

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“The Idiot Box” by Blane Britt

Do you remember that tv show What’s My Line? A panel game show that originally ran in the United States on the CBS Television Network from 1950 to 1967, originally in black and white. The game used celebrity panelist to question contestants in order to determine their occupation, i.e. "line [of work]", with panelists being called on to question and identify a weekly celebrity "mystery guest" while blindfolded. Don’t even ask me why I opened up with this particular topic. Sometimes it’s remembrance such as them old tv shows that ge...

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“Two Liars Made For One Another” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #55

I met Rose Marie at a John Mellencamp Concert in Marlins Park a baseball park located in Miami, Florida. It is the current home of the Miami Marlins, the city's Major League Baseball franchise. It is located on 17 acres. Before she even introduced herself to me she told me that she was a Train Conductor and Yard Master for Amtrak. When I asked what is a Yard Master and is it anything like a Slave Master. She giggled and quickly changed the subject. As we got better acquainted and got drunk off a half gallon bottle of cheap wine that I pulle...

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“I’m a Bank Robber” by Blane Britt

I never lived a lavish lifestyle. Most of my friends would consider me living a tad above the poverty line. I drove a 2008 Accord. My clothes looked as if they were purchased from any thrift store and I wore payless shoes on my feet. My greatest purchase is a $3,000 or 52,428.90 in South African Rand, African Grey parrot in which have been pets for thousands of years, there are records of these birds as household pets even in biblical times. Prudles, a male African Grey owned by King Solomon said: “At all times let your clothe...

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“My Family Secrets in 2020” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #55

After my great grandmother curmudgeon and ornery self finally passed away at the tender ripe old age of 113. I was asked to clean out her attic. I was somewhat apprehensive about that family assignment because attics are usually unsettling not only because of all the ghost stories that appear to me in urban legends and online but also because my penny pinching grandmother was reluctant on spending any money fixing the attic up or making it into something like a home office or spare bedroom, her attic was dreary and full of dust. In the back ...

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“The Aetherius Secret Society” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #55

Genuine secret societies have existed for centuries, conducting their business in darkened back rooms and more often than not, exerting a mysterious influence upon our culture. I often times wondered if they’re so secret then why does anyone or mostly everyone knows or heard about them. Through history there have been many secret societies and conspiracy theories about those societies. From political organizations to college frats, these groups require their members to conceal their activities and sometimes their identities, from the publi...

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“No Understanding” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #54

As a child and being born jet black most of  the uneducated black people on an everyday basis told me that I never had a chance to amount to nothing. Especially when it came to logical reasoning, the two kinds of logical reasoning that they didn’t have a clue that were often times distinguished in addition to formal deduction: induction and abduction. That they swore on after smoking a blunt of skunk weed and drinking a 40 ounce of cheap beer.   Then said that it was given a precondition or premise, a conclusion or logical conseque...

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“Netflix's” by Blane Britt

There weren’t but 3 days left until I was to go off to college. I had worked the entire summer being paid to watch TV all day! Netflix had hired me as a part time employee to watch all of their movies and specials and TV series content before it was available to the public and my role was to review and assign each program its correct tag, which helps the viewers to find exactly what their after, whether it’s a romantic crime movie based on classic literature or witty talking-animal TV shows. Netflix's content reflects global perspectives and...

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