As a child and being born jet black most of  the uneducated black people on an everyday basis told me that I never had a chance to amount to nothing. Especially when it came to logical reasoning, the two kinds of logical reasoning that they didn’t have a clue that were often times distinguished in addition to formal deduction: induction and abduction. That they swore on after smoking a blunt of skunk weed and drinking a 40 ounce of cheap beer.  

Then said that it was given a precondition or premise, a conclusion or logical consequence and a rule or material conditional that implies the conclusion given the precondition, one can explain the following. Oprah Winfery is GAY! WOW!

I couldn’t even preconceive that I could ever pass a civil service test that had a lot different mind blowing questions on it, that a extremely black ghetto boy couldn’t pass collective terms for a sector of government composed mainly of career bureaucrats hired on professional merit rather than appointed or elected, whose institutional tenure typically survives transitions of political leadership. A civil servant or public servant is a person so employed in the public sector employed for a government department or agency. Civil servants work for government departments and answer to the government, not a political party. The extent of civil servants of a state as part of the "civil service" varies from country to country. In the United Kingdom, for instance only Crown employees are referred to as civil servants whereas country or city employees are not.

Søren Aabye Kierkegaard a Danish philosopher, theologian, poet, social critic and religious author who is widely considered to be the first existentialist philosopher. Told me in my dream that life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced. Don't forget to love yourself. Once you label me you negate me. Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom. To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose oneself. Boredom and money is the root of all evil  the despairing refusal to be oneself.

The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays. People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use. Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays.

I couldn’t even get into the Armed forces (The Foreign Legion). Because I couldn’t speak French or figure out them dang box puzzles in Latin

The French Foreign Legion is a military service branch of the French Army established in 1831. Legionnaires were highly trained infantry with nonblack soldiers and the legion was unique in that it was open to foreign recruits willing to serve in the French Armed Forces unless were people of color especially them African not American’s

When it was founded, the French Foreign Legion was not unique to me; other foreign formations existed at the time in France.

The Foreign Legion is today known as a unit whose training focuses on traditional military skills and on its strong esprit de corps, as its men come from different countries with different cultures. This is a way to strengthen them enough to work as a team. Consequently, training is often described as not only physically challenging, but also very stressful psychologically.

 French citizenship may be applied for after three years' service. In which was never ever offered to me because of the pigmentation of my jet black dark skin.

The Legion is the only part of the French military that does not swear allegiance to France, but to the Foreign Legion itself. Any soldier who gets wounded during a battle for France can immediately apply to be a French citizen under a provision known as "Français par le sang verse but not jet black me.

Then I found out as of 2018, members came from 140 countries or get into any apprenticeship programs because I couldn’t and still can’t figure out them square’s or boxes that “I” was supposed to be taught what  is reasonably  logically was be next. They didn’t have that kind of test doing my failure to pass the civil service test.

Even today I still can’t figure out them boxes or what is supposed to be next.

Today I have a Ph.D. in Angol Saxon and Norse & Celtic (ASNC0)that it is definitely a doctorate degree program of my choice for individuals like me who are passionate about the history, culture, language and literature of the British Isles and Scandinavia.  

The Anglo-Saxon, Norse & Celtic is a special area of interest offered at Cambridge University which naturally attracts legions of people of color who are engrossed in the Medieval literature and history.

All because I can’t understand what box should be next on that stupid test.   

I remember sitting on that project bench in Cabrini Green Project’s the most notorious project complex in Chicago history because of its bad reputation and its location in the city. Where I resided at in that low or should “I” say very low income housing project that sat among a high class neighborhood since they were built not too far away from downtown Chicago. That 586 unit projects were heavily discussed and joked about by people that never lived the horrors that me and one sister and  8 brothers have endured. 

Hearing the very name Cabrini Green would send shivers up them suburbanite’s spines as they heard that these buildings were terrifying yet they knew no details because they had never been here and did not know anyone that had ever been there, unless of course they were drug using brats from spoiled backgrounds that wanted to come here just for the drugs.

Thinking that I could and can make a difference in society. Then reality hit me at a young age that there were things that I would never have the skills or mental skills to do.

Like the very old Voo Doo Haitian Lady exiled from Cuba, said you would be filled with self-prophecy. A self-fulfilling prophecy is the sociopsychological phenomenon of someone "predicting" or expecting something and this "prediction" or expectation coming true simply because most white people believe it will happen to me and resulting in my behavior aligning to fulfill the belief.

I’m only 9 years old! I’m living in the middle of Chicago in a time where being black was only a place to deflate the mentally of subculture people (or people off the plantation). Don’t feel sorry for me why? You see white people are taught that, that no matter how low they are labeled in the social chain there better than any black person. White Jonny we know you can’t read or write or even spell but  always remember that you are better them those darkies.

Can or could you even imagine any of people of any race telling you that’s what you are and what you will always be?

I know that today’s black people are white today they just don’t know. They’re not slaves except in their brainwashing minds by white people and the media news they hear.

When the white people figured out like beloveds, they know how it works, they’re not confused, they just don’t really care. And don’t try to soften any of the privilege conversation blows by bringing up your own privilege either. They don’t care about the nuances of privilege and how black people and other oppressed groups can wield it as well. They want you to think they care because… well, who cares why?

No, she doesn’t. And history tells us that she won’t like voting for Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton Rodham; born October 26, 1947 who is an American politician, diplomat, lawyer, writer, cheater on her husband Bill Clinton who did not have oral sex with Monica keep your stained dress for whatever reason Lewinsky in the oval office of all places. That lying e-mailer served as the 67th United States Secretary of State just like that pubic hair claiming Condoleezza Rice actually seen that fiber on a pop can. I know Clan

Hillary Clinton became the first woman to be nominated for being a better liar than the Trump or the Donald as he is referred to behind his don't like the media as president of the United States by a major political party when she won the Democratic Party nomination in 2016. She was the first woman to win the popular vote in an American presidential election, which she lost to The Donald who believes he from Ukraine and his Russians wives expect for the porn star Marla Naples. How could she possibly be racist or anti-black?

She loved and did not respect behind closed doors former President Obama’s his wife, Michelle LA Vaughn Robinson Obama  an American attorney and author who was the first lady of the United States from 2009 to 2017. She was supposed to be married to the womanizing 4th president of the United States, Barack Obama. She was the first African-American first lady, Wholly Whoopie Goldberg Do!

Auntie Maxine (it’s not appropriation if she calls her “Auntie” right, because she wants to make sure that you know that she’s totally aware of appropriation and her own privilege and…) she loved the hell out of Get Out and also had a really insightful conversation about it with her light skin hunky husband. They’ve always talked openly about race so again, how can she possibly be…?

a-Nehisi Coates embarrassed us all when he became the 12,740th black person to politely and eloquently explain why white people can’t even sing the words nigger or nigga.

 Good news, though. It’s over for that.

We’re not explaining this anymore because they don’t really need it explained. They just want to find new and dumbass ways to ask if it’s okay for them to say it because, well… white people really, really want to say the word.

In fact, I believe the young white woman Coates explained this to went straight home, put on her favorite rap album (she loves rap, guys) and said the word 450 times in 12 minutes. This’ll be a tough one for those of us who were raised with some manners, but, sorry, we don’t use this phrase anymore, unless we bump into a white person and decide to start rapping the entire first verse of A$AP Rocky’s song of the same name. I know, I know. Your mama raised you better than that. Unfortunately, we’ve gotta take our reparations where we can, so we’re just not saying “excuse me,” to white people anymore. Relatedly, we’re also not moving out of the way when they walk towards us on the street. All because “I” can’t never figure out them boxes on them psychological test!

August 10, 2020 07:47

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Amogh Kasat
10:11 Aug 15, 2020

It's an amazing story P.S read my both story what is a Second Chance The Secret Mission Meeting


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Lynn Penny
20:06 Aug 15, 2020

This was a great story. It really made me feel the frustration of the main character. Great job.


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Jesna Anna S.
08:11 Aug 10, 2020

These were the words I wanted to hear, I thank you abundantly for the same: "Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced. Don't forget to love yourself. Once you label me you negate me. Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom. To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose oneself. Boredom and money is the root of all evil the despairing refusal to be oneself. The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays. People demand freedom of speech as ...


Blane Britt
14:36 Aug 10, 2020

I spent two days on this short story, two whole days! 1,790 words. Thank you!


Jesna Anna S.
14:58 Aug 10, 2020

Awesome! God gifted! keep writing!


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