Blane Britt

“Elaine” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #81

I was insanely in love with Elaine Alvarez. All the time from grade school to when we were on are way to college. I truly believed at the time we were meant for one another. Well that’s what I truly believed in my head of heads. When she joined the cheerleader squad at UCLA University in the fall of 1999. Things changed. She was so beautiful that a country back woods boy from Arkansas like myself didn’t realize how big city life would change her. I should have realized at the time when the multitude of letters I sent, kept coming back ...

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“That day” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #80

My father always bragged about how he and my grandfather marched on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, also known as the March on Washington or The Great March on Washington, that was held in Washington, D.C. on a Wednesday on August 28, 1963. My dad vehemently stated the purpose of the march, boy! Was to advocate for the civil and economic rights of black Americans.  It’s 2020 daddy! My boy says who really cares. He vehemently stated dad, we all know black lives really don’t matter just because that dude an known plagiarizer spea...

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“What an Unusual Hobby I Thought I Possessed” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #78

You might think what I’m about to share with you today is just a mere hobby to me you and you would be absolutely correct. I can tell you when and where that bizarre gift was presented to me. But for now, I will tell you that my gift to bring back the dead for the first time is real! The first time and only time I did it was the time when Otis and Manny were sitting in the living room of Otis and his ugly wife Mrs. Margret’s house. We were all drinking Thunderbird wine. I was only 16 years old at the time. They called me their runner. My...

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“What the #@$%!” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #78

My six year old son Barful comes home with an animal in the hood that me and his mother were blown away from. That animal must have come from a different planet so we thought. I’m shouting well above the threshold of hearing myself at 1000 Hz in which no father should talk to his biological son like that, while my better half repeatedly shouted calm down dude. I say that thing ain’t staying in this house. We argued all night long until Sheba my wife, as always eventually won out. Now I know you as a writer or reader, you’re probably wonde...

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“Manikins ” by Blane Britt

Manikins & Lung Bags Teach white people to perform CPR correctly using durable CPR manikins with feedback. With ARC-Prestan Manikins, Big Red CPR Manikins by Brayden, lung bags, disposable CPR shields and complete CPR Instructor starter kits, it’s been known to help many white people to gain the skills and confidence to save a life. Don’t laugh at me or be shocked! That’s what I enjoy doing listening too for a hobby. I’m not talking about those “sex” mannequins. I’m talking about the people who stormed the Capitol of the United States of...

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“Unrecognizable” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #73

Many people outside of the entertainment world might just believe that being and entertainer is a glamorous life. It is but it isn’t. With that being said, let me introduce myself. My real name is Royce Nesby. Yet everyone calls me Dancer! I been dancing longer than I been walking. My mother would tell anyone who would listen that I even danced out of her womb. Maybe she drank one too many Margarita’s the late morning I was born. My father is a classic pianist, while my mother dabbled in the arts. I was destined to be a star in which never q...

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“What Myer Wetherbee Was Not Willing To Do For Money” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #72

I *do* believe in spooks, I *do* believe in spooks. I do, I do, I do, I *do* believe in spooks, I *do* believe in spooks, I do, I do, I do, I *do*! That’s what Myer Wetherbee whispered under his breath after reading a letter that informed him that he would be inheriting $3,900,000 from an nasty mean spirited Great Uncle Raphael G. Wetherbee in which he never knew existed. The only conditions to collect the money was that Myer had to stay one night in the 3 haunted places his Uncle specifically chose. Everyone in the small town of Bangor, Ma...

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“Some Earthly Habits Will Never Change” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #72

It had been less than 600 years since Christopher Columbus supposedly discovered America in 1492. Had he foreseen the future like Nostradamus: Great L.A. Earthquake: The first to strike California in the 2020s. Nostradamus, Quatrain 9:83 The sun twenty [degrees] in Taurus, so strongly the earth trembles. The great theater filled up is ruined. The air, sky and land darkened and troubled. When the infidel calls upon GOD and the Saints. I’m quite sure Columbus wished he would have discovered Canada instead. Nevertheless on October 12, 2022 the...

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“Cookie Secret Recipe Caper” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #71

Albert Dommer worked the midnight to 7 a.m. shift as a security guard at the Pepperidge Farm located somewhere in the state of Connecticut. Shortly after signing in for his boring shift half drunk off of Tequila and being highly inebriated from the hallucinations of some real life seeing side effects from some too strong gungi African marijuana on June 17, 1972, the 24-year-old Albert noticed something amiss. His entries into the Pepperidge Farm Company security log reveal that he found doors on levels B2 and B3 stuffed ...

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“Melody” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #70

I was 14 years old when the first time I seen and fell madly in love with Adeline Fairchild. Even before the most attractive and most popular girl in our freshmen year of high school didn’t know I even existed. I knew right then and there that one day she would eventually be my wife. It wasn’t until our junior year that she began to notice me. I had grown from 5’5 to 6’3 over the course of one summer and I was the starting quarterback of our Division I high school City Championship that season. She was a cheerleader destined to be titled Mi...

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“The Wait Wasn’t Worth It” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #70

My man and baby daddy Sloppy Drunk; I mean Sloppy Seconds primary and only goal in life. His main objective. His soul purpose for living. His reason of all reasons was to become a Big Time rapper like his idol “Chali 2na” who is not only named after a fish, but after a fish that's a mascot for canned tuna-in effect, a sellout rapping fish who gets paid to convince people to eat his family. For 12 long years I patiently waited for my man Harvey Bean aka Sloppy Joe; I mean Sloppy Seconds to reach the pinnacle of success to fulfilled his lifeti...

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“She Was a True Victim of Junkie Circumstances” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #70

Through my own heroin use personal experiences I always believed in the duck test that is a form of deductive reasoning. This is its usual expression: If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck. The test implies that a person can identify an unknown subject by observing that subject's habitual characteristics. In the case of Lolita heroin use the look fit to a tee. The swimming part fit and she most times flew high like a duck going south for any winter season. Yet in reality she was just y...

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“Proboscis Baby Sister Monkey” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #69

You might or may be sitting there wondering why I chose that particular title for this story and if you thought it doesn’t fit the subject context you’d be absolutely wrong because this is my short story and I’m sticking to it! I got your full attention didn’t I? The proboscis monkey (Nasalis larvatus) or long-nosed monkey, known as the 'bekantan' in Indonesia, is an arboreal Old World monkey with an unusually large nose, a reddish-brown skin color and a long tail. The warning calls of the Proboscis Monkey are very loud. It is believed tha...

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“Not Your Normal Kind of Family Businesses” by Blane Britt

A family business is a commercial organization in which decision-making is influenced by multiple generations of a family, related by blood or marriage or adoption, who has both the ability to influence the vision of the business and the willingness to use this ability to pursue distinctive goals. They are closely identified with the firm through leadership or ownership. Owner-manager entrepreneurial firms are not considered to be family businesses because they lack the multi-generational dimension and family influence that create the unique...

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“South African Christmas Traditions” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #69

I was around 11 years old when my father remarried. In choosing what parent to reside with by order of the divorce decree I chose my father who was granted full custody. There were several reasons why I stood firm to live with my Pops. The main reason was the fact that he earned 6 figures. I truly enjoyed the big house, my friends, school and I wasn’t even sure did my mother know I existed. My mother enjoyed the taste of Martini’s morning, noon and night. Her favorite saying after the first sip was Shaken Not Stirred and she repeated that Ja...

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