Flushed Away: Rhyming Review of The Film

Hugh Jackman plays as lots of things

A  sad singing Frenchman

A master of circus rings

A steadfast cowboy

A Wolverine

But the thing most do not know

Is that he was carried away with the flow

The flush of a toilet took him away

As a rat, he learned

To see a new way.  

His name was Roddy

And he was well off

To the slobby intruder Sid

He said, “Goodbye! Mazel tov!” 

But Sid would not leave

He liked the rich house

He was a stubborn guy

An unwanted louse.

Roddy had an idea 

To get that dude away

But it came back to bite him

And karma made him pay

Because Sid knew the secret

That the jacuzzi was a toilet 

So the tables were turned

And Roddy’s plan?

Sid did spoil it. 

So instead of the sewer rat

Swirling down the drain 

It was Roddy who fell

And Roddy who felt the pain.

The poor rich rat was flushed away

The movie’s title doth decree it

Roddy was now in search of home

Though as he began to seek it

He met a rat named Rita

Who in the land of Ratropolis resided 

She was escaping from The Toad

Whereupon she then decided

To let Roddy join her fair crusade

To escape the mess 

That she had made

A stolen ruby

A stolen fake 

A plan gone wrong

Then Roddy did break

The ruby which she stole 

To bring vengeance to her pops

Then things get more tense

The other shoe drops.

Because isn’t happy

That Roddy smashed the gem

She turned quite red

And wanted to break him

But he had a plan

He said, “Rita, don’t fear!”

I happen to be rich

If the posh attitude 

Didn’t make that clear.

I’ll get you a real ruby

And it’ll be the best! 

Yours will put to shame

All of the rest.”

He had little thought

For who was pursuing 

Whitey and Spike

Did know what he and Rita were doing.

They had been sent 

By an infamous reptile

A toad named The Toad

Who was as unoriginal as he was vile. 

Before going home to Kensington

Rita and Roddy stop by

Her own home

Which is filled with love

As far as the sea is wide.

A dancing grandma

A paralyzed dad

A whole bunch of kids

And… a conversation gone bad.

Roddy misheard

A thing or two 

Now he steals the boat 

And evades Rita’s calling

Though he does love her

He resisted ever falling.

He’s hurt by her lies

That he thought he heard

With her, he felt at peace

For her, he had no words.

She eventually caught up

And cleared all the wrong felt

But then more trouble appeared

And once ice is ice it’s hard to melt. 

After a quick escape

The Toad sends for a dreaded mercenary

Le Toad is from France

And he is a strange adversionary. 

“I was replaced

By a rat once 

Long ago

This is why I hate

All rats now, my bro.” 

Explained The Toad to his cousin

And they planned the demise

Of all citizens of Ratropolis

Of all reptiles, the rise. 

The Jammy Dodger,

Rita’s boat,

Is destroyed in the escape

But soon a new transport

Begins to take shape

In the form of a plastic bag

Usually bad for small creatures

How is it that now

Roddy feels love is one of the best teachers?

He has been so far

In so little time

He expected nothing more from the sewer

Than yuckballs and slime

But now that he arrived at home

He could be changing his mind.

He handed Rita the real ruby

But what treasure was beyond

The glimmer of a stone

Was not something you could buy

Nor was it something you could loan.

Rita hadn’t told Roddy how she felt

But upon seeing he was a pet 

Her heart was turned cold

No longer did it melt

Because she knew he was tied down

That a family already had him

Why had she let herself fall in love

To go out on such a limb?

Heartbroken and sad

She left him to be

She knew her time with him was an illusion

That pets like him weren’t meant to be free. 

Though she tried to convince

Roddy to come back with her

He was too proud

For sure, for sure. 

He stayed back in 

His cushy place

With a grim smile set

A somber grin on his face.

He talked again to Barbie

Though she seemed so flat 

After meeting Rita 

Who else could compare to that?

He and Sid sat on the couch

And watched the World Cup Final 

He talked with his fake brother

Backs pressed against the sofa’s vinyl. 

But then

All of a sudden

Something was clear! 

The Toad’s plan was not done

That rat’s sign was right

The end was near! 

Oh boy oh boy 

How should he react?

Was it too late

Or would Rita take him back?

Little to Roddy’s knowledge 

His co captain had been ratnapped

Though the main plan was no longer a puzzle

This fact was nothing to be snapped at. 

Roddy told Sid, “You have to take my place okay?” 

Then he jumped back in the toilet

And he was once again

Flushed Away.

To save his new land

Below his old home

To save the witty rat 

He found more beautiful 

Than all of Rome.

The plan to open the gates

At the World Cup’s halftime

This would be when the toilet’s waters

Would be at their highest prime 

To release the tadpoles 

That The Toad had collected

They would finally have a home

No longer neglected. 

But the plan wasn’t completed

And a new Jammy Dodger was built

The best ship around sailed 

With Rita and Roddy at the hilt.

This movie is a work of art

Though many credits knock it down

This movie is a masterpiece

A Lizzie Bennet in her gown.