119 comments

Adventure Fantasy

This is a part 3 to my "legend of Evie" series which is something like "Avatar: the last air-bender" i haven't been able to think of anything for this lately, but with these new prompt's i finally thought of something. so i hope you all enjoy this.

Ripple didn't know how long it had been since Evie had left the cave, though it felt like six hours. "Come on, She's the Avatar...she can handle herself.." She kept telling herself.

Evie had told her that she was 'going for a small walk,' but taking a small walk doesn't take six hours. Ripple wanted to go try and find her but she kept telling herself that 'shes the Avatar' and 'she'll come back soon'

Though she didn't really believe that she would come back. The last Avatar had disappeared over fifteen years ago, Evie just appeared and what already happened? She disappeared as well.

Well okay, she didn't really disappear or die. At least that's what Ripple hoped didn't happen to her. If she died everyone would have to wait longer for the new Avatar.

Who know's what would happen during that time Period? Ripple could think of hundreds of things that could. One of the Biggest thing's that could happen was probably the Fire Nation taking over completely.

Earlier when Evie had first left the cave, She wanted to try and find something to eat, maybe some berries. Though she had quickly decided against it because of the soldiers trying to find her.

Yes, She WAS a Bender, Though she was a very weak water bender. She wouldn't be able to really protect herself from them and she'd probably get captured again. Evie wouldn't be there to help her.

"Maybe...maybe when she get's back she could help me with my bending.." she quietly said to herself. She liked that idea, though what would she even teach Evie?

She then realized there was one type of bending that Evie had never mentioned. Ripple even knew how to do it, sure she was kinda bad at it but she knew.

Blood bending. No one really liked doing it or they didn't even know it but Ripple did. She had met up with a friend a few years ago who had taught her how to do it.

If she taught Evie blood bending, it would only be for when she HAD to use it. If it was Life or Death, not just for the fun of it. Blood bending wasn't for that.

There were a lot of Forest's that Evie was walking through, a few times she had came across very small Villages though. They seemed abandoned as she never saw anyone.

She knew that there was a Village somewhere that some of the fire nation soldiers had taken over. That was where she was going she had a feeling that it was where her friend was.

"Come on Rox, it's not that bad! Maybe you can bend and it's just taking a while?" Evie suggested to her friend. She had kept noticing how down she had seemed.

"yes it is! everyone else here can bend, but why can't i do it? Your even the Avatar!" Like she said, Rox was the only one there who couldn't Air bend. At all, she's never been able to.

Evie wasn't even sure why, what was she even supposed to tell her friend? It was kind of a random thing, even if you were born into a bending family, sometimes you wouldn't be able to.

There had always been a few things that the two of them wanted to do together. Though because she couldn't bend they'd never be able to do them. That was the only thing Evie ever thought it was bad, Rox hated it completely though.

If there had ever been any way that she could give Rox bending, she would have. She knew that she would have been much happier with it, Evie always caught her staring out at some of the others doing some bending.

It hadn't been so long after that when some of the fire nation soldiers had taken her. Evie had been distracted by something and she couldn't even save her friend. Rox couldn't have even saved herself.

She didn't really promise Rox this, though once she got her back she would try to help her learn to bend. She wasn't sure if it was possible or not but she at least wanted to try.

She'd have her two friend's together by her side and then they would try to stop all of this. Together. She remembered how she left Ripple at the cave, she hoped that she was doing fine.

She knew how long she had been walking around for though she hoped she could find a quicker way back. Maybe Rox knew some secret areas, maybe she tried to escape a few times?

She could see a much bigger village up ahead and she knew that it was the one she was looking for. She could already see a lot of fire nation soldiers there and some other people with them in chains.

She had to find Rox first and then take her back and think of a plan. She'd come back for these people and everyone else once they all did. The three of them needed to stop all of this.

She began to sneak around the village not getting spotted by them when she then saw her. A few fire nation soldiers were next to her though she didn't really seemed to be chained up.

She wasn't really a bender and she couldn't really fight so that was probably why. If she tried to run away it probably wouldn't do anything, there were a lot of them nearby.

She heard a gasp and heard one of the fire nation soldiers say, "The Avatar!" The rest of the nearby soldiers along with Rox looked in the direction.

She don't know how he had even seen her but it happened. She walked out into the open, there was no use in trying to hide if they knew she was there. She'd probably look stupid.

"Rox! don't worry i'm going to-" She didn't finish whatever she was going to say as a large blast of air hit her. She kind of fell back in surprise and tried to see who had done that.

"Wait-...Rox..?" She had looked around to see that Rox had been the one to do that. How? Rox couldn't even bend, Maybe someone else did it?

Rox blasted at her again. "What the- Rox what are you doing?? when could you even do it??"

Rox chuckled lightly as some of the Fire nation soldiers began to approach Evie. "I've been able to for a while now, before i got 'captured' i decided to join them...they taught me how to bend." it was possible.

Evie didn't know what to think of this. She had been Betrayed by her oldest friend. She had came to try and save her and this is what happened.

so what do you all think of this one? it's probably bad so sorry.

September 25, 2020 15:12

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

119 comments

Kate Ulrich
16:06 Sep 25, 2020

Good job! That was a big twist at the end.

Reply

B. W.
16:07 Sep 25, 2020

Thank's i'm glad you liked it ^^ any thoughts on the twist and did ya have a favorite part?

Reply

Kate Ulrich
16:46 Sep 25, 2020

My favorite part was the twist and I thought it was cool because I didn't see it coming, especially because I didn't think the character had figured out how to air-bend.

Reply

B. W.
16:49 Sep 25, 2020

What do ya think will happen in part 4 of it? yeah i kinda had trouble thinking of a twist and i decided with this so i'm glad you liked it ^^

Reply

Kate Ulrich
17:02 Sep 25, 2020

I think the girl will have to escape from her former friend, who will be chasing her across the land. She may even have a new job, sort of like a bounty hunter? A job where she is paid to find others that the villains want in custody.

Reply

B. W.
17:04 Sep 25, 2020

Hmm that's a really interesting idea, ya got any others?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Artemisia Pearl
18:10 Sep 25, 2020

My favorite thing about this story was the unique names! And it isn't bad at all! I liked in the last paragraph where the connection between the story and title played out, and Evie was betrayed. Good job!

Reply

B. W.
18:16 Sep 25, 2020

Thank's i'm glad you liked it ^^ what do ya think will happen in part 4?

Reply

Artemisia Pearl
15:02 Sep 26, 2020

Maybe Evie will get revenge? I'm not sure!

Reply

B. W.
16:29 Sep 26, 2020

There's one other story and i'm not sure if you have checked it out, could ya check out "Reunion? No thanks" and leave some feedback?

Reply

Artemisia Pearl
18:25 Sep 26, 2020

I can do that for ya!

Reply

B. W.
18:28 Sep 26, 2020

thanks ^^

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
17:03 Sep 25, 2020

Great job! This was super creative and I love all of the cool names!

Reply

B. W.
17:05 Sep 25, 2020

Thanks ^^ did ya maybe have a favorite part and what did you think of the twist at the end?

Reply

17:05 Sep 25, 2020

The twist was SO unexpected! Keep up the great work!

Reply

B. W.
17:06 Sep 25, 2020

what do ya think will happen in part 4?

Reply

17:15 Sep 25, 2020

Hmm, I have no clue! The cliffhanger was so good, I NEED Part 4 ASAP!!

Reply

B. W.
17:19 Sep 25, 2020

hm i'll try to make part 4 if i can get ideas ^^

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Laiba M
18:14 Sep 25, 2020

I liked the story! I don't know much about the Avatar series except for powers and something against the Fire Nation, but this was really good! My favorite part was the twist at the end because it added more drama to the plot. I don't think I had a favorite character... From what I read in this story, I think the next story's going to be a 'rivalry' type thing between the two friends!

Reply

B. W.
18:19 Sep 25, 2020

Thank's i'm glad that you liked the story ^^ i'm pretty sure it's on netflix so maybe you should go watch it? though only if you want to. Besides the little rivalry type thing what else do ya think will happen in part 4?

Reply

Laiba M
18:37 Sep 25, 2020

I'm not really sure, maybe there could be a twist and Evie joins the Fire Nation as well after being manipulated and captured?

Reply

B. W.
18:39 Sep 25, 2020

oh boy, that's honestly a really good idea. i don't think there's really been a bad or evil avatar (or at least that i remember) so it would be interesting. also i'm not sure if i told ya but i'm making another novel with my demi-god series

Reply

Laiba M
18:41 Sep 25, 2020

Thank you~~ Tell me about the novel! It sounds fun :)

Reply

B. W.
18:43 Sep 25, 2020

well i think i might need some help with things but i have the basic idea, tell me what you think: half the world has demi-gods enslaved the other half has mortals enslaved one day though a demi-god and a mortal feel bad about an enslaved mortal and demi-god so they free them and escape, now the four want to meet up and try to stop the enslaving

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
03:42 Oct 13, 2020

Very creative. Maybe you can have a look at Deep Intrigue. It is Part 4 in the Horizon stories and is could use a few looks so people can tell me what they think.

Reply

B. W.
03:49 Oct 13, 2020

Thank's, i'm glad that you liked it ^^

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Bailey D.
17:57 Sep 27, 2020

Awesome job B. This was a good read and the twist at the end really shocked me. Even though I didn't read the first two parts but I could still understand everything so kudos to you.

Reply

B. W.
18:20 Sep 27, 2020

Thanks ^^ did ya have a favorite part?

Reply

Bailey D.
00:48 Sep 28, 2020

Def the end with the twist ^^

Reply

B. W.
00:50 Sep 28, 2020

what do ya think will happen in the next part?

Reply

Bailey D.
00:50 Sep 28, 2020

I'm not sure but I'm excited to find out

Reply

B. W.
00:51 Sep 28, 2020

What do ya think about Rox?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
22:48 Sep 26, 2020

Really nice! I love stories with twists, you perfectly captured that!

Reply

B. W.
22:50 Sep 26, 2020

Thank's i'm glad that you liked the story ^^ what do ya think would happen in part 4 maybe?

Reply

03:21 Oct 01, 2020

Welp, this comment thread has been downvoted.. welp I up voted you so it doesn't/shouldn't affect you! UvU

Reply

B. W.
03:45 Oct 01, 2020

awww thank you ^^

Reply

03:54 Oct 01, 2020

:D

Reply

B. W.
04:10 Oct 01, 2020

wait, has anything else been down-voted?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
03:22 Oct 01, 2020

Imma do that to everyone actually, I think the DOWNVOTER is attacking all your stories and DOWNVOTING each comment on them..

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Megan Sutherland
00:41 Sep 26, 2020

Hey, B.W.! You asked me to read, so here I am. if this is based off of an anime-thing called Avatar, I'm sorry but I don't really understand it. The things I do understand- your dialogue flows smoothly. You describe perfectly. Overall, well done.

Reply

B. W.
00:47 Sep 26, 2020

Heya ^^ well Avatar is on netflix so maybe you could go and watch it? though that's only up to you. Though thank's and i'm glad that you liked it. I made another story not that long ago again so if ya could check out "Reunion? No thanks" as well? though only when you can

Reply

Megan Sutherland
00:50 Sep 26, 2020

Sure! You're giving me quite a list lol

Reply

B. W.
00:58 Sep 26, 2020

Sorry, i just make a lot of stories

Reply

Megan Sutherland
01:16 Sep 26, 2020

It's fine haha I was just kidding

Reply

B. W.
01:26 Sep 26, 2020

alright, do ya maybe plan to make any type of story with this weeks prompts?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Avery G.
17:53 Sep 25, 2020

Wow, this was good, B! You are really getting better at capitalization! I loved it! My favorite part was the twist. Great job!

Reply

B. W.
17:54 Sep 25, 2020

Thank's i'm glad ya enjoyed it ^^ what do ya think will happen in the next part?

Reply

Avery G.
19:03 Sep 25, 2020

Hmm, maybe Evie will be able to escape from Rox, and then make a new friend? I don't know.

Reply

B. W.
19:06 Sep 25, 2020

Did ya ever check out the previous parts?

Reply

Avery G.
19:24 Sep 25, 2020

Yeah!

Reply

B. W.
19:26 Sep 25, 2020

well that's good then ^^ what do you think of this weeks prompts?

Reply

Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Jagdeep Singh
17:47 Oct 07, 2020

Great story B.W.. I would love to see a blood bending in a movie

Reply

B. W.
17:51 Oct 07, 2020

Thank's, i'm glad you liked it ^^ did you maybe have a favorite part

Reply

Jagdeep Singh
17:57 Oct 07, 2020

Its when rox betrayed. I would love to read the next part where she gets her revenge. Will there be next part?

Reply

B. W.
17:58 Oct 07, 2020

Yeah, i think there will be

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Charles Stucker
06:27 Sep 26, 2020

maybe when she get's back she- gets 'shes the Avatar' she's= she is. "yes it is! everyone else here can bend, but why can't i do it? Your even the Avatar!" Capitalize Yes and I. You're or You are not Your. "before i got 'captured' i decided to join them...they taught me how to bend." it was possible." capitalize I and It. comma after captured. She had been Betrayed by her oldest friend. Don't capitalize betrayed For part 3, it feels like we still have several parts remaining. Your sentence structure is shaping up really well....

Reply

B. W.
16:16 Sep 26, 2020

Alright thank you ^^ i'll go to edit that stuff

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Emma Sunshine
00:31 Sep 26, 2020

good story, i liked the descriptions

Reply

B. W.
00:32 Sep 26, 2020

Thank you ^^ i'm glad ya liked it.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in the Reedsy Book Editor. 100% free.