Story 25

Robin is standing by the large oak tree in the middle of the forest. The sun is shining but his heart is heavy as he knows that his day will be full of tasks he would rather not have to do. His visitor, dressed all in black, approaches slowly and nervously. But Robin addresses him with the bold confidence and flair his team know so well.

“Thanks for coming in for this interview. I would like to kick things off by asking why you have applied for this job.”

”Of course. Er, sorry I am a bit nervous. Basically I have been working in local government for some time and I thought it was time for a change. I have always wanted to work in the charity sector. I think I have the right skills. And I’ve always liked the outdoor life.”

”Why do you want to be an outlaw?”

“Lots of reasons. Being outside all the time would be a nice change from being behind a desk all day. I would like to do something that benefits the community. The idea of taking from the rich to give to the poor is really important in today’s society. I would be good at being part of a team - I think I could fit in very well. It would be exciting to join up with Robin Hood and his merry men. I’m just surprised that you are advertising for new staff.”

”We are a charity. We have to follow all the correct recruitment procedures. We don’t want to get into trouble with the Charity Commission. And we genuinely believe in diversity and inclusion.”

”So do I. I’ve always admired the way that you have a woman in a senior position - Maid Marion - and you employ fat people like Friar Tuck…”

”You can’t say fat.”

”Sorry I am a bit nervous. It is a long time since I last did a job interview.”

”Well, I will make allowances for that.”

“Would I be working very closely with Maid Marion?”

”We all work closely together. We are just one big family.”

”I look forward to that.”

”Tell me about your current job. I believe you are currently the Sheriff of Nottingham?”

”Yes, I’ve been Sheriff for just under 5 years now. Before that I was Deputy Sheriff. And I have been with Nottinghamshire Council since I was at school. But I have always wanted to be in the charity sector and to give something back to society.”

”Can you give me an example of a time when you have used your communication skills to solve a difficult problem?”

”Oh that is a tricky question. Mmm I remember there was a time when we had caught a couple of young tearaways who had been stealing sheep. We weren’t sure what was the best punishment for them. Hanging seemed a bit over the top for just taking a few sheep so I persuaded my team that we should just put them in the stocks and throw rotten tomatoes at them. That taught them a lesson and it was a bit of fun for my team, a good team-bonding exercise.”

”Does the fact that you have always been my sworn enemy mean that we might have a difficult relationship?”

”No no no, I was just doing my job. Working in local government is all about following the correct procedures and trying to give a decent service to the community. So I never had anything personal against you as an individual. I was just doing my job and I respect the fact that you were doing your job. In fact we are both high-achieving professionals and we probably have more in common than you think. I enjoy a pint of ale down at my local inn on a Friday evening. I expect you like to have a few drinks after a hard day of going round robbing people, I mean re-distributing wealth.”

”What would you say are your best qualities?”

”I am very hard-working. I am loyal and faithful. And I am good at shouting.”

”What do you think your main faults are?”

”Difficult to say. I think I’m too humble. I don’t want to blow my own trumpet as I’d much rather see other members of the team get the glory and the praise. I don’t want to be in the spotlight. I’d much rather be in the background beavering away, quietly getting things done.”

Robin was starting to get rather bored. Having a whole day of job interviews was not his idea of fun. So he decided it was time to wrap this up and move on to the next candidate.

”Right, well thanks for coming in. We will be letting candidates know by the end of next week. Finally do you have any questions for me.?”

”Just a few. How many men do you have? Where is your team based? Where are your secret hiding places?”

”Good questions. We currently have 22 outlaws but we are looking to recruit 2 or 3 men or women but they would need to complete a 9 month probationary period before we offered them a permanent position. Our main base is in St Andrew’s glade near to where the two streams join and we currently have three secret hiding places - behind the waterfall half-way down the rock face, in the secret cave directly under St Mortimer’s Mound and behind the false wall in the chapel of St Agatha ‘s. Those are the main ones.”

”That’s very interesting. I would never have guessed there was a false wall in the chapel.”

”Of course that’s all confidential.”

”Don’t worry Robin, your secret is safe with me.”

The Sheriff chuckled to himself. He wasn’t surprised that the stupid outlaw had walked straight into his trap but he was very pleased at just how easy it had been. And he knew that nobody would ever give up a respectable job in local government in return for a life hanging around with a bunch of crooks.