80 comments

Science Fiction Mystery Thriller

It was a crisp May morning when the sun blinked out.



And it's a go! came the cry and with a mighty heave the silver-braced elevator moved up, choked, and shivered to a stop. Inside, Jupiter worked her cuffs off with her teeth, sighed in the storm of siren silver dust, and tried hard to think. 

     Above her, the immense pale yellow light flared down, smiled with all its teeth, and shut out. The outline burned in her vision long after the sunned light forced to a stop. 

     Throughout Thrush Building came confused shouts and tortured screams of both tortured and torturer. Jupiter spun in blinded, boxed circles, holding in her shudders, eyes painfully wide to a reaching blackness. 



And Lord don't let me break this, let me hold it lightly. Give me arms to pray with instead of ones that hold too tightly. 

     The floor had started to heat very gently in the seconds before the sunned elevator light went out. With the light went the Heat Chamber power. The floor cooled. Jupiter's heartbeat slowed. 



"They say you shouldn't try to prolong it," Westley said. "It only hurts more. Lie flat on the floor and try to get it over with. It heats to thousands of degrees in a couple of minutes. If you're only exposing your feet, it'll take hours. You don't want that."

      Jupiter nodded. A grey-belted guard came in and unfastened the latch around her neck. He read out her number and sentence, snapped the cuffs loosely around her wrists, and led her out toward the elevator. 

     She did not look back or try to escape. There was no use, and it would make death ache even more. 



The light did not come back on. The cuffs lay blankly in a discarded corner. They hummed vaguely. Jupiter did not look at them. 



"Oh, Jupiter, Jue, Jupiter, my baby, Jupiter! No! Don't let them take my baby away! No! She's only a child, please, don't hurt her! Where are you going, what are you going to do to her, Jupiter, no!" 

     Her mother's screams faded like the burning light above her. 



And then it's just too much, the streets they still run with blood. A hundred arms, a hundred years, you can always find me here. 



Sweet sweeping May beauty shut off like bile in the throat when faceless glass doors sealed behind her. Jupiter was not afraid. Her shoulders were straight, body tight to absorb pain. The receptionist processed her and her papers like the clicking of the tongue.

     The tsk of a tongue and Jupiter was latched into a cubicle to wait for the elevator to be free.



My heart bends and breaks so many, many times. Hurts in ways I can't describe. And is born again with each sunrise. 

     As she waited in the darkness, the creaking of Thrush Building reverberating around her, she closed her eyes. It helped to block out the sound of the buzzing cuffs. Jupiter was glad, at least, for the slice on her wrist bone she'd gotten that morning. The guard had given it to her as she looked back for her mother, weeping in a horrible crumpled heap. 



"Not her too, oh God please!"



I cannot get you close enough. The streets, they still run with blood.



The blood had slicked her wrists and she had tugged them out of the cuffs. The words the guard had given her still rang in her head, like a hollow thump on the skull. Madam President wanted it this way. Thrush Building was merely the closest processing and completion site. 

     Jupiter was glad, at least, that she had not been transferred over land to another, more appropriate site. She had heard terrors about the WhipTrains.

     People stacked in coffins, still alive, in boxcars. Black bread that melted your mind and made you weaker to the torture awaiting at the processing location. Billets and bullets and people tied on top of the Whip if their screams were too loud. 



Thrush Building went completely silent. Even the cuffs burned to quietness. Once her uncle had told her, a few days before he was processed and completed, that the whole of Thrush City was powered by radiation and cybernomics. 

     "One slip up," he'd said, "One wire yanked out, and the Building and City freezes."

     Jupiter had been too young to understand, at the time, what he meant. 

     Sitting in the blackness, one bare bloodied foot crossed over the other, Jupiter thought that must have happened. Silently she opened her eyes and was glad that death was shoved back a couple of minutes. 

     She had not been looking forward to a death if melted flesh, compacted, white-hot bones and brains, her soul scraped off of the silver braces floor of the elevator once it reached the top floor. 



Jupiter 78irBq3, of 78B3 gene, sentenced to die by order of Thrush 63bb800, of 63800 gene. Signed, 63bb800 and Madam President. 

     It was a simple scrap of paper, barely filling her palm in the moments they had allowed her to read it, and yet it filled her mind. She recited the words to herself over and over again, trying to forget and failing. 



Dear Mom, she would have written if she could. I love you. I don't remember ever telling you. I thought you didn't care. Now I know you did.

     Try not to die. Binny needs you not to die. I am sorry. I should have tried harder than I did. I hope you will have enough to eat now that I am gone. Please know, despite what they say, I didn't suffer. Dying hurts less than tearing off a hangnail. 

     Love, Jupiter



She would have lied through her teeth if she could. Even after a few seconds on the heating silver floor she knew she would scream. And they would watch, even though they'd promised that death would be private, and they would know that all her bravest had been nothing. 

     In death she would be a coward, and that hurt her.



"Mama," Jupiter mumbled. She let her head slide to the floor and rest. It felt good. She wondered when the power would turn on and she would die.

     Still the Building was silent, like the evening May wind gusting through a peaceful graveyard. Her ears were empty and it was different from the loud and crowded Thrush City streets. It was strange, being alone. 

     It was strange, she thought, dying.



And is born again with each sunrise. Jupiter's mother sang it through bruised lips and tear-swollen cheeks. 



Jupiter sang it through bruise colored darkness and untrembling, patient lips. She hoped they would not forget her. 

     You can always find me here. It was peaceful, sitting alone, dying, waiting to die. Jupiter rubbed her throbbing feet and pretended she was not hungry. 



It was a crisp and quiet May evening when the sun shuddered back to life. 

September 08, 2020 01:21

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

80 comments

This is amazing, even if you wrote it on a phone (I tried once, but I kept getting distracted). I snuck in a little peek from my phone and read this. It literally broke my heart. You will always be a talented writer, no matter where you write it on. Fact :)

Reply

Orenda .
20:29 Sep 15, 2020

Hey, I just read your bio and I'm surprised you do haikus because I do too!!

Reply

That's awesome :D

Reply

Orenda .
07:06 Sep 17, 2020

:)))

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
19:24 Sep 14, 2020

Hey kendra? is it alright if you could help me with something? its something with a novel

Reply

heyo! am i too late to help?

Reply

B. W.
04:16 Sep 17, 2020

No no you aren't, can i tell ya the plot for it?

Reply

sure!

Reply

B. W.
17:02 Sep 18, 2020

Tell me what you think: 17 year old Harlow gets transported into another Dimension and has no idea how to get back, now she must deal with trying to find a way back, remaining hidden so she doesn't get captured and an alternate version of herself thats going after her. though with the help of a new friend there, Willow, will she be able to get back?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
14:38 Sep 28, 2020

Kendra! Happy birthday :D

Reply

Aw! You remembered!! Thanks!!

Reply

B. W.
18:29 Sep 28, 2020

No problem ^^ well you are my friend

Reply

:)

Reply

B. W.
20:34 Sep 28, 2020

Hey, if it's alright could ya help with something?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 3 replies
Pragya Rathore
05:22 Sep 10, 2020

You really hate Stephenie Meyer, don't you? I can relate :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Rodney Owen
13:07 Sep 14, 2020

Wow, that wasn't what I was expecting. I'm sure I'll need to read that one again to take it all in. Good job

Reply

Show 0 replies
Molly Leasure
22:37 Sep 13, 2020

It seems wrong to say this--what a beautifully conveyed death. It's such a stirring scene. My heart both ached and was calm, trying to mimic her emotions, but I know I could never be as calm as she was at the end. And when I realized that the italics were song lyrics, oof, it got me. I loved it!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Grace Reardon
17:49 Sep 10, 2020

Zilla, I love your story, it's filled with suspense and excitement. Your descriptiveness is truly inspiring! If you have time, I'd love it if you checked out my story!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Thom With An H
13:24 Sep 09, 2020

So if I had chosen this prompt I'm sure it would have been set in the twin towers on 9/11. It would have probably been about someone who didn't know what was going on and maybe the end would have been a last minute call from his wife and then nothing. I'm sure it would have been a readable story but it wouldn't have the imagination of this or quite frankly of any of yours. You took a prompt that was very basic and made it so uniquely your own that there was no chance anyone would write anything like it. It's a gift. You write with such ...

Reply

Show 0 replies
03:12 Sep 08, 2020

Oh my goodness! I loved this so much. The way Ayi tells the story is beautiful. Bits and pieces in the past and present but never fully describing the situation as moments pass. It takes a lot of skill to write that like, and it's a skill I myself have been trying hard to work on. Truly amazing ❤️

Reply

Show 0 replies
Pragya Rathore
03:09 Sep 08, 2020

Lovely but heartbreaking! Your descriptive skills made me feel as if Ayi was my daughter. Wonderfully written!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Ranya Navarez
01:05 Sep 19, 2020

Dang. That was death-gripping (pun intended) and sad, but really, really good because of it. Good job, Zilla!

Reply

Show 0 replies
B. W.
16:44 Sep 14, 2020

hey, i think i may actually be trying to make a novel from a few of my stories like maybe my demi-god series or something else, any advice with that?

Reply

Show 0 replies
14:26 Sep 10, 2020

I like descriptions although I don't know how to write them too well. Your way of description is flawless and that perhaps is the first thing I noticed as I read through. I love your writings. And thank you for adding me up in your bio. I sure didn't expect that.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Hriday Saboo
06:01 Sep 09, 2020

Hey zilla a nice story with a nice quiz

Reply

Show 0 replies
Christina Hall
23:27 Sep 08, 2020

This was an interesting take on the prompt. It felt like you've created a much bigger world, and this is one scene from it. Great writing.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Zilla Babbitt
13:32 Sep 08, 2020

A couple of fun facts: One, This is the first and hopefully only story I wrote completely on a phone. Two, the main character's name was originally Ayi. Three, I wrote this while listening to "100 Years" by Florence and the Machine on repeat. You will get a little more out of the story if you listen while reading. One bad word in the lyrics. Four, I'll have a writing quiz up in my bio and comments sometime today. Stay tuned!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Doubra Akika
09:27 Sep 08, 2020

This story is so heartbreaking! You did an amazing job again, Zilla. Your style of writing takes skills! So many beautiful words. Bits and pieces of the story that make you want to keep reading. You get a glimpse of what’s going on but never everything and I think that’s simply amazing. I always look forward to your stories! Please keep writing and stay safe! (p.s. I’d love if you could check out my most recent story and possibly leave feedback. It’d mean a lot!)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Scout Tahoe
00:39 Sep 09, 2020

Hey Zilla, love this story, I just have some questions: I don't want to sound rude/nosy but will our info that we put into your writing quiz be shared with anyone else? Will our emails be shared? Sorry I'm just suspicious of the internet and private info. Hope you understand :) Thanks.

Reply

Zilla Babbitt
00:59 Sep 09, 2020

No problem! No private info is shared, but after the quiz is completed you have to option of seeing other people's responses. It's all fun; the only "private" bit is I ask for your name, but you can put in a fake one or a sentence or whatever. The form doesn't require an email or anything. As far as I know, it's safe. And no need to apologize! It's refreshing to see someone protecting their internet privacy :)

Reply

Scout Tahoe
01:02 Sep 09, 2020

Thanks so much for the reassurance. I'll try and stop by sometime this week. ;)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in the Reedsy Book Editor. 100% free.