Author’s Note: There are some mannerisms in here that I don’t use, and I just kinda threw them together. What I’m trying to say is that the things the characters do aren’t from a specific culture that I chose, I just put different actions in here. So, yeah. Also, I came up with the money names. I hope you enjoy it! :D
“Poppa! I’m heading out to the market to meet a friend. I’ll be back soon,” I called.
“Okay!” Poppa shouted back. I slung my backpack over my shoulder. I strolled out of Poppa and I’s little home and headed out on the journey to my destination.
After fifteen minutes of a walk-jog-run mix, I arrived. I took a deep breath, breathing in all of the wonderful market air. The hustle and bustle of the area made me smile.
I jogged over to a guy my age that was standing in front of one of the stands.
“Hey, Stanley! Whatcha looking for today?” I asked. I put my hand on his shoulder and peered at the array of products; necklaces, bracelets, earrings, anklets, scarves, and headbands filled the table. A young woman, not much older than Stanley and me, smiled politely and waited for Stan or me to say something.
“Hi. I want… shoes,” Stan decided, adding in a whisper to me, “What are shoes?” I stifled a laugh as I pointed at my feet.
“Those things that are covering my feet? They’re shoes. This means that we need to go to a different table for you. For me, though, can I have that blue and red headband right there?” I said, turning to the woman.
“Yes. I am Lelei. That will be one monchaka, please.” Lelei averted her gaze to the floor and held out her hand to receive the silver coin. I dug around in the pocket of my jeans and found one. I placed it in the palm of her hand and bowed my head slightly.
“Thanks,” I say, grabbing the headband, and catching up with Stanley, who started wandering to other tables. He was now at an old hag’s station. The table held only two objects; a pair of boots that had wings on the sides, and a bottle that held a shimmery clear liquid. I tied the band around my head as I looked at the sign; it said: “Etta’s Magical Things For All Your Needs”. By the looks of it, this spot was full of evil witchcraft. I grabbed Stanley’s arm tightly, forcing him to look at me in the eye.
“Don’t buy a single thing from here. Let’s go find shoes,” I ordered. I began tugging Stan towards the shoe rack, but he kept his steel feet on the ground.
“No. These are shoes. Boots. I want them, Anna. I want them now. I will buy them, no matter what you say, Anna.” His human-looking android eyes stared at me with what I’m sure was defiance. I glanced at the wrinkly-skinned woman, and although she still had her head down as she was supposed to, I could spy mischief dancing in her eyes.
“Fine, Stanley, but don’t whine when something goes wrong with the boots.” I turned to the hag. “Can we have the boots, please?” I caught a glimpse of Stan smiling.
“Of course, of course.” The woman smirked. “Give me two niiklas and three monchakas.” I raised my eyebrows at her.
“I am Anna Ali Alagbara,” I stated, frowning. My eyes drilled into the woman.
“Oh, I am so very sorry,” she said sarcastically. “Yes, you may. My name is Etta. The cost will be two niiklas and three monchakas, please.” The last word out of her mouth came out like a growl. I ignored it and handed the gold and silver coins to her, taking the boots in return. I reluctantly handed them to Stan. He took them joyfully, sliding them onto his feet.
We continued our walk through the market, stopping every so often to look at different products. Multiple times, I had to stop Stanley from buying useless items.
As Stan and I neared the pier that was connected to the market, he cried out. I turned to him and my eyes widened at the sight. He was three feet off the ground! The little wings that were attached to the bright white boots were flapping and carrying Stanley higher and higher into the air. Even worse, he was headed straight for the water.
“Anna! Help me, please. HELP, ANNA!” Stanley screamed.
My mind raced. What do I do? What do I do? Finally, I got it. Stan was already over the water. All I had to do was grab a boat, get below him with the boots, and somehow get him to drop down to the boat. Simple enough.
“Hold on, Stan! I have a plan.” Before Stan could respond, I was racing towards the docks where a few sailboats were sitting. Hoping I wasn’t too rusty from my previous sailing classes, I untied the boat from the dock and leaped onto it. Fortunately, I remembered the basics and was able to start following Stanley, who was getting farther away from me by the second.
At last, I was at the same pace as Stanley and keeping the boat below his floating body at all times. I knew what I had to do.
“Stan! Take the boots off and I’ll catch you,” I shouted. Stan turned his gaze to me, his entire face laced with fear and worry.
“I-I don’t think that’s going to work, Anna. I’m eighty-one pounds of metal and wires!” Stanley frowned.
“It’s fine. I’ve hauled a ninety-nine-pound moose a whole mile! Don’t ask.” I countered. Although he was twenty feet in the air and his face was practically a blur, I noticed Stan roll his eyes and sigh.
“I won’t. I trust you.” He did not sound confident.
I watched intently as Stanley bent down in the air, and reached for one shoe. He got ahold of the top of it, then started pushing it off. For a second I thought that it wouldn’t come off, but I stared at the boot as it tumbled into the water.
“Woah!” Stanley cried. The boot that was still flying had flipped Stan upside down. My hands start shaking, and my jaw drops. I close my mouth quickly before maneuvering the boat back under Stan.
“Just try to get the other boot off,” I yelled. With noticeable difficulty, Stanley folds himself in half so he’s able to reach his feet, still in the air. I clench my teeth as I watch Stan grab the top of the shoe and start pushing it off. I put my arms out in front of me, ready to catch him. My entire body shakes. The boot is almost off of my friend. With one last grunt, the winged problem falls off of Stanley’s foot, plummeting towards the water and crashing into it with a splash. Meanwhile, Stanley does the same thing but heads straight towards my arms.
The wind is immediately knocked out of me when Stan’s metal body drops onto my outstretched hands. I fall to the floor of the boat, trying to catch my breath while Stan scrambles off of me.
“Are you okay, Anna?” he asked, concerned. His eyes darted around, trying to find something that would help me. Of course, nothing would.
As soon as I was able to breathe normally again, I said, “I’m fine. The biggest question is are you okay? Any dents?” I was only half-joking.
“I’m completely great, all thanks to you. I owe you one.” Stanley stuck his hand out for me to grab, which I gladly accepted. He pulled me up until I was standing.
“You got that right.” I wiped a bead of sweat off of the side of my face and sighed. “For a second there, I thought I wouldn’t be able to save you.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll listen to you next time,” Stanley promised.
“Just… be careful. My world is nothing like the factory you were created in. There are dangerous people, natural disasters, and boots that fly. Understand?” I felt like I was talking to a five-year-old, but I needed to make sure that Stan did understand.
“Yeah. Now, can you get us back home on this thing?” Stanley asked, gesturing to the boat we stood on.
“Let’s see,” I laughed.
You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.
194 comments
Hey hey hey I really liked this. The plot was nice, but I do have some critique. (I hope it doesn't sound rude!!!) 1. When you're writing, I kind of notice that it's like your having a conversation with the reader. You're actually TELLING the story, like to another person. You kind of have to have the story be abstract, I guess, like it's not being told like a speech. 2. The plot was nice, but I think you could have gone a lot deeper with it. I think in a lot of your stories could have so much more drama and action if you would sink yo...
Reply
Hi! Thanks! (You're never rude.) 1. I totally understand what you're saying, I've just been having a really hard time with that lately. My old stories are better than my new ones! 2. Again, I see what you're saying. And, again, I haven't been able to do that. Any tips? Thanks again!
Reply
I would say work on like deep character development. Give your main character a huge problem, for example, smoking. Let's say the plot of the story is them getting over smoking. How would you write that?
Reply
Okay... Um... I guess I would write it as an internal monologue. Like, the entire story is just the main character thinking about everything, yet still explaining everything. I don't know. :|
Reply
I don't know how to explain ittttttttttttt
Reply
Well, I understand what you said, I just don't know how to make my stories richer like that, more detailed, more show-not-tell.
Reply
Turned in the form <3 also a buncha new stories! dont forget meeee <3 Cel
Reply
Yay! Thanks! <3 Oh, yay! I'll read them soon. I won't! I've just been very busy, so I haven't had much time to talk to you. :( <3 Bee (another new nickname lol)
Reply
Ohhhhh it’s fine :D <3 C (I need a new one XD)
Reply
:D <3 B (what about... Leste?)
Reply
OOHHHHHHHHHHHHH YES Leste :D
Reply
YAYYYYYYYYYYY, LESTE!!!!!!!!!!!! Coocray
Reply
✌ hey Brooke!!! Great story! The ending was my favorite part (most of the time the ending is my favorite part!!!!!!!! I read your bio too!!! I was wondering if you could put me on the friends list, but im not sure if we're friend.... aww dang im doubting myself again. i always do that lol -Cass
Reply
Thanks! Hi! Aw, thanks so much! Don't doubt yourself, lol. You are definitely my friend! It's just hard for me to remember all of you peeps, lol. :D -Brooke
Reply
lol thank you!!
Reply
No problem!
Reply
Heya
Reply
new thread 🧵🧵🧵🧵
Reply
Very nice, Ames. XD How are you doing today?
Reply
:DDD great! I'm almost done my story and I'm stalking my mini greenhouse XDDD
Reply
Good! Oh, yay! Wait... "stalking my mini greenhouse"... Is that something that everyone knows and I'm just stupid or is that not a very common thing?
Reply
no it's not a normal thing at all XD I'm that person who watches over seeds I planted yesterday hoping they'll sprout before my eyes XDDD p.s. I posted my 30th story!! :D
Reply
XDDDDD That's awesome! :D p.s. yay!! I'll read it soooooooooooon
Reply
Brooke! hi. it's been a while! I missed ur writing lol so I came to readddd yayyy
Reply
Peachy! Hi! It's been a very long while! XD Yay! Whaddya think?
Reply
I liked it! sorry for smol feedback my brain works about as fast as a 2010 dell computer *windows shutting down noises*
Reply
Oh, thanks! Uhhh I'm stupid--what does smol mean? XD
Reply
oh! smol is basically a lazy way of saying "small" hehe
Reply
oh wow, I'm really stupid. lol Anyway, how are you doing?
Reply
I liked it! sorry for smol feedback my brain works about as fast as a 2010 dell computer *windows shutting down noises*
Reply
I liked it! sorry for smol feedback my brain works about as fast as a 2010 dell computer *windows shutting down noises*
Reply
Heyyy
Reply
Great story!!!!! I like how you put some magic in there, I hardly ever am able to write fantasy :3 Could you read some of my stories and put some feedback in the comments? I like it when authors do, I get better with writing. Also,✌ - Starlight
Reply
Thank you so much! Oh, I'm sure you have the abilities to. :) Thanks again! -Brooke
Reply
Thank you! I've started a fantasy series with a touch of mythology, so yes, you are correct!
Reply
My pleasure! Oh, yay!
Reply
✌ Hello there, Brooke :p
Reply
Thanks! Hi, Jay. :)
Reply
Hi, Brooke!!! Just wanted to let you know that my newest TSD featuring you is out today!
Reply
Hi, Lily! OMG, yay! Thank you so much! I'll read it soon! :D
Reply
:DDDD
Reply
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR...
Reply
Aw, thank you! I already did, lol. :D
Reply
You're welcome! Oh, okay, lol. :D
Reply
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Reply
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR...
Reply
Aw, thanks so much, CJ! It means a lot to me. *smiles*
Reply
:D
Reply
<33333333333333333333333333333333333333333
Reply
✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️ Also, Saph said to spam you this: 💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖 So... 💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE ...
Reply
Thanks! Awwwwww, thank you so much, Lily! This means so much to me! :D 💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖💖 YOU'...
Reply
💖 YOU'RE AWESOME 💖
Reply
Aw, thanks! And please tell Saph that she can stop telling people to send me this.
Reply
Hehe but people need to tell you. And also I've been wanting to tell you this but I keep forgetting. You know how you put on my form that we should have an advice account. One was made recently, just so you know. :)
Reply
You guys have really changed my mind. I'm in a good mood, and I think I can improve. I just need your help, and others'! :D (One of my teachers also gave an inspirational speech that had a part in this, too. ^^ XD) I know! I followed the first Advice Account and the second one back. :D
Reply
BROOKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YOUR STORIES ARE ABSOLUTLEY NOT BAD!!! They're amazing, and if you really want to improve them, like Isaac said, you have to have faith in yourself and KEEP WRITING (if I stopped writing because I thought my stories are bad, there would be no such thing as The Diamond Blade)! Editing is also a really good idea (even though it's slightly boring). One thing that I found was very helpful is actually writing/typing down the plotline, and staying on track of your story. I will say it as much as I have too- YOUR WORK IS NO...
Reply
Thanks a lot, Saph. It means a lot to me to hear all of this from you. The thing is, I do type the plotline, and I follow that plotline. What do I edit though? My character's actions? Anyways, my writing IS bad, even though you guys don't believe me. Again, thank you so much for this. Thanks!
Reply
Edit the story in general. Like read over it twice, looks for spelling errors, or in my case, lack of commas or too many commas, and edit any parts of the story you're not confident with. *shakes head* Broookeeeeeeee the whole point of my rant was to tell you to STOP telling yourself that your writing is badddd! Because it's not, all you need to do is be more confident in your abilities, and have faith in yourselff!!!!! Once again, IT'S. NOT. BAD. Seriously. The more you keep telling yourself that, the more you'll end up believing it and...
Reply
Okay, thanks. I don't have confidence, it is bad, and I don't have faith in myself. Are you saying that if I lie to myself and say that they're good, they'll be good?
Reply
I am sooooo bad at having any sort of social interaction with someone and this proves it. Well, then develop the confidence and faith. Find ways to make yourself confident in your writing, whether by writing what you love, or something your good at. Well I mean, technically, your lying to yourself by saying that your work is bad. And you're telling the truth by saying that they're good. So lying to yourself that they're bad is bringing your self-esteem lower, which you have to change. Be kind to yourself. We all believe in you. Your wr...
Reply
Here's my response that I also gave Meg: You guys have really changed my mind. I'm in a good mood, and I think I can improve. I just need your help, and others'! :D (One of my teachers also gave an inspirational speech that had a part in this, too. ^^ XD)
Reply
Hey Brooke! Just did your survey/quiz/thing?? so hope you don't mind. The page with all the quotes though, BRILLIANT HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Reply
Hey! Of course I don't mind! :D Hahahahahaha!
Reply
:DD
Reply
hi Brooke! how are you?
Reply
Hey, Amethyst! Good! How are you?
Reply
I'm good! qUeStIoN: do you like nicknames? I feel like 'Amethyst' is a lot to type every. single. time XD
Reply
Good! :D What have you been up to lately? aNsWeR: Yes, I do. It's not a lot, but I do like nicknames! What's yours? Btw, you can call me whatever nickname you think fits. XD
Reply
Well, studying (for a final I had today), practicing my 3 instruments, reading and writing. I'm not writing atm, but I was : Mine are Ame (the most used), Ames, and Amuh :) Ooh okay, what about.......Brooke? sO rEvOlUtIoNaRy
Reply
Most of that sounds fun! Three?! What do you play? I'm just listening to music and going through Reedsy. ^^ I like those (especially Ames), but what about... Yeah, I have nothing better, Ames. XD That is vErY rEvOlUtIoNaRy. But, let's be every mOrE rEvOlUtIoNaRy. XD Btw, I always say "so revolutionary" sarcastically!!!!!!! That's a weird coincidink.
Reply
Heyaaa! If you have time, please upvote this writer. Her points got taken all away, and she was originally at 5,000, please help if you want to. (I understand if you don't wanna get involved into all the upvoting/downvoting.) Link: https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/writer-maniac/#
Reply
Hi! I totally understand what you're saying, but I don't want to be a part of the upvoting/downvoting. It's not because I'm scared of having people be upset with me--it's because I see both sides of the story on both upvoting and downvoting. I'm glad you can understand.
Reply
Okiee
Reply
have ya seen the new prompts?
Reply
Yes. They're okay. I NEED to finish the second-person story I've been working on for literally THREE WEEKS, so I'll figure out a way to fit it around a prompt. ^^ What do you think?
Reply
I guess the prompts are fine, though I've been really wanting to try and continue "OtherWorldly Repairs" or my Demi-god spin-off series, with these ones I don't think I can. Though I do kind of imagine something with super-heroes for a few of them.
Reply
That would be fun! :D
Reply
I also have a little bit of important news, can I tell you?
Reply
Of course! ^^
Reply