285 comments

Drama Thriller

𝟹/𝟷𝟽/𝟸𝟶𝟹𝟶


My cravings for Cheetos landed me in jail.

My habit of avoiding people was my downfall.

Being in the wrong place at the wrong time made it completely legal for the cops to stuff me in this dim, grimy cell forever.

I hate my life.


*


Let me illustrate some before-and-afters. 

Before The Incident, going to the grocery store was another boring task. I didn’t like it much.

After The Incident, grocery stories are dreaded places. For me, SayedStore is the equivalent of breaking a mirror, as I walk under a ladder, with black cats criss-crossing under it. 

Before, well, everybody has a saying they despise. I’ve always disliked “The world isn’t fair”. I mean, yes, it isn’t fair, but people say it like that’s okay. When in reality, we should be trying to make everything equal. 

Now, I straight up loathe the phrase. I wanted a snack and I wound up in a place where I get no snacks at all. Does that scream fair to you?   

Previously, I was Zane Khatri, the eighteen-year-old boy who was enjoying his summer vacation before going off to college.

In the present, I’m Zane Khatri, a infamous teenage criminal who’s sentenced to life in jail. 

And, of course, before this mess, I lived with my parents, soon to be housing in a dorm.

Now, home sweet home is a prison cell.


𝟽/𝟸𝟿/𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟿


I had less than a month before college starts, and I wanted to make the most of it. So far, that plan had been working excellently—I’d been in the house all summer, shielded from the cruel sun’s rays and heat, and safe from annoying people’s chatter.

But alas, I couldn’t hide from the outside world forever. My parents told me I was acting like a sack of potatoes, lying on the couch playing video games all day.

They said if I wanted a snack, I had to go to the grocery store myself.

And, alas, my hunger overrode my dislike of going out in public when I didn’t need to.

I threw on some black clothes, because black is my favorite color. Clothes-wise, black is also the comfiest color—it just is.

Dark hoodie, even darker sweatpants, sneakers, and sunglasses. I was all ready to go.

I walked to the bathroom to, well, go. While there, I washed my face with warm water. My light olive skin shone as the water dripped off. I had shaggy black hair, amber eyes, and a mouth that counted smiling as exercise.

“Bye, Mom!” I hollered, slamming the door behind me.

I surveyed my block. Even in the July heat, people were outside jogging, walking dogs, or plain old going on a stroll.

I moaned. I didn’t enjoy people—they're so loud and annoying and loud. My doggy, Balto, was my friends, best friends, casual acquaintances, and anyone else in my life.

Just in case I ran across someone I knew, I slid on my sunglasses and pulled up my hood. If anybody asked, my name was Kane Zhatri (smooth, I know) and I was visiting my cousin, Bob.

Time to grab some Cheetos.


𝟹/𝟷𝟽/𝟸𝟶𝟹𝟶


My bad luck started before The Incident, before I was double digits, before I was born. It traced back to the start of the males in my family’s bad luck, when my grandfather stepped in a puddle of toddler pee, slipped, and broke his back.

Then my father accidentally started a fire in our house. But it was more than that. It was a string of bad luck, each unleashing the other that cursed dominoes. My dad’s cat happened to walk into the kitchen. My dad happened to be holding a cucumber. The cat happened to see it, thought, my nemesis! Captured, at last! and pounced on it. Dad jumped back, and the cuce dropped. The cat was startled and tripped my father, and he happened to jump onto the stove. Then the cat happened to fling the cucumber up so it turned on the stove. My dad’s pants caught fire, so he whipped the, off and coincidentally passed the flames to the kitchen towel.

And now me. I’m an eighteen-year-old who was sent to jail over half a year ago. Sent to jail for life.

This prison is what happens when you get ‘sucky’ and ‘sewage’ and blend them. It’s suckage, really. A line of five-by-five cells with bars in the front, so we can see another line opposite from our own.

Each stall has a three-legged stool. We get toilet breaks twice a day and get to go to the gym triweekly. Sometimes, a guard will bring in those tiny screens that show one video—$1 at Walmart. The videos always show scenes of Law & Order TV.

“New videos,” somebody murmurs. Footsteps start clicking against the tile floors. The kind of sound guard’s shoes make—probably one coming to deliver another show.

Hey, it’s Jimi! Jimi’s one of my favorite guards because he hardly talks, but when he does, he has a deep, smooth voice. Jimmy’s my age, actually—it's so wicked unfair that he has a life, an apartment, a girlfriend…and I have nothing.

All because of that blasted grocery store trip.


𝟽/𝟸𝟿/𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟿


“Thanks for coming to SayedStore,” the worker said in her sweet voice. The dark-haired lady handed me my bag, filled to the brim with snacks. Although her smile looked genuine, the lady said the parting words like the automated female voice on the Metro—no emotion, having said it thousands of times (although the Metro woman was a robot, I was sure, so she actually couldn’t have feelings).

I politely took the bag and quickly left the store. It was getting darker outside, but there were still loads of people. Hood up, glasses on, bag thrown over my shoulder; I hoped nobody bothered me.

I wanted to use the alley between SayedStore and Pompeya’s Pottery as my path home, because nobody would run into me there, but the last time I tried it, I got yelled at by an employee of the pottery shop who saw me through a camera.

My eyes scanned my surroundings. The spy cam outside Pompeya’s Pottery is the kind that swivels. I would just have to wait a moment.

A second later, the cam is facing the other way, so I darted down the alleyway.

The problem was, I had an extra ten pounds of snacks sling over my shoulder, plus a lot of heavy black clothes. And I’m not that fast anyways.

I cursed as I hid in the alleyway. I was almost certain Pomepeya would come out with a broom and tell me to scat out of the alley.

Which I didn’t even understand.

I heard a door creak open, probably the one in the back of the pottery shop, and I cursed even more as I jumped into a nearby dumpster. I did not want to have to walk home on the street, with tons of people.

But it wasn’t Pompeya that came out of the pottery shop.

Instead, it was two men scrambling out of the SayedStore.

They had black jumpsuits, and dark ski masks on. Both had brown hair and glinting blue eyes, but one was fat and the other skinny. They cackled with glee as they raced away.

I could smell something fishy from a mile away, and I wasn’t talking about tuna. Something was wrong here. But what?

I ducked back into the dumpster to think about what I had just witnessed, but I had my answer not a minute after the spectacle.

With a deafening BOOM!, the SayedStore exploded. 


𝟹/𝟷𝟽/𝟸𝟶𝟹𝟶


“Hey, Jimi,” I say wearily as the guard walks up to my bars.

He slides the printed video into my cell. “You have a couple minutes to watch that before Rachel”—he nods his head to the cell next to mine—“gets it.”

“Thanks, man,” I say, snatching the thin screen from the floor. I study the front screen: ʟᴏɴɢ-ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ᴜɴᴄᴀᴜɢʜᴛ ᴄʀɪᴍɪɴᴀʟs ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ɴᴇᴡ ʀᴇᴄʀᴜɪᴛs. Sounds interesting enough.

Jimi gives a grim wave and start to walk off, but I say, “Wait! Jim, before you leave, tell me a joke.” My friend/guard has a good sense of humor if you just ask him.

Jimi stops and says, “My girlfriend—you know, Maya?—and I often laugh about how competitive we are.” I nod and he delivers the punchline: “But I always laugh harder.” 

I crack a smile. “Nice.”

Jimi salutes me and walks off, so I click the video and watch my only bit of entertainment for the day.   


*


The video matched its title perfectly.

Two people in their mid-30s, accused of murders, robberies, blowing up buildings, as well as several small offenses, should’ve been in jail for life. Instead, they’ve been committing crimes for the past year.

Footage from a different jail shows they broke into the cell of a renowned criminal, and tried to talk him into joining them. When big names join the already-famous Broke Brothers (that’s what their called, and it used to be accurate, but after so many robberies, the well-known criminals are rich), it’s good for them.

The woman refused, so they left. They knew they were being filmed, so they vowed next time to bring a gun so they’d guaranteed get their allies.

As soon as I had finished watching the clips and reading the captions in the video, a BEOW!-BEOW!-BEOW! hammered into my ears.

I whipped my head up from the screen. The alarms were flashing red, emitting the sound that has only sliced through the air once in the time I’ve been at jail.

There’s an alert.

Guards race down the hallways to assist whatever the problem is, and metal blinds lower over every cell’s bars, shutting off all light except for the small lamps in our cells.

I’m alone in my cell, in this loud room.

But I’m actually not.

THUD.

CRACK.

“Boo-ya!”

I stare behind me, at a giant gap in the back of my cell’s wall. Light streams in from the outside, partially blocked by the figures of two black-clad men.

Their faces are covered by ski masks, but I recognize them.

I recognize them from the SayedStore all those months ago.

I also recognized them from something much, much more recently. 

“You,” I whisper, my voice raspy.

“Us,” they agree in unison.

The fat one pulls out a gun and points in at me as the two walk into my cell and plop down on the floor. “We only have a couple minutes,” he says, “and you know what we’re here for, don’t you?”

My throat feels dry but I still say, “Yes.”

I sit down to have a chat with the Broke Brothers. 


𝟽/𝟸𝟿/𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟿


Bombs.

That was what ran through my mind as I laid in the dumpster.

There were bombs.

My crumpled body could barely move, and my mind felt sluggish. My head hurt, too.

SayedStore was blown up, but I was alive, somehow. The dumpster walls had given me a little cover.

I sighed with relief as I repeated the thought:

I’m alive.

I heard police sirens in the distance as the throbbing in my head increased, and I drifted off into unconsciousness.


*


I awoke in a dim, cube-shaped room. Everything was gray—the walls, the ceiling, the floor, my clothes, the desk in the middle of the police officer and I….

The police officer?!

I tried to rub my eyes but found my hands were shackled.

“Whuh…what’s happening?” I said weakly, staring at the officer. Navy suit, badges, and cap. Dark-skinned and wearing a frown.

“You blew up a building,” he said.

I cringed. “No, no I—”

“We saw,” he said firmly. “There were cameras. A black-clad figure in the store, planting the bomb. Then you, walking out of the store in black clothes, looking around, and creeping into the alleyway.”

“I can explai—”

“YOU CAN’T EXPLAIN!” The officer roared. Then he continued in a hushed voice: “Dozens died. Dozens more were injured. All the evidence points to you.” 

My head was spinning. It was true. All the evidence did point to me. I didn’t do it, but the officer—the world didn’t know that.

“Seriously, I can explain,” I whispered.

The police officer frowned. “You’ll get a chance to. At your trial. And if you’re found guilty? Well, you’ll be rewarded with life in jail.”


𝟹/𝟷𝟽/𝟸𝟶𝟹𝟶


“Why me?” 

Those words wrestle control of my mouth, popping out first instead of the dozens of other questions I have once the Broke Brother finish explaining.

“Why me?” I repeat. 

The men share a look. “What?” Blake, the skinny brother, says.

“You could’ve chosen anyone,” I say, “any criminal at all. Some people are much older than me, and have done loads of awful things. Why me?”

“You blew up a building,” Bryson, the fat one, says.

“You’re famous for that,” Blake adds.

“In fact, your young age is even more remarkable,” Bryson says.

I shook my head. “But I didn’t even do that. You guys did it, and I got blamed. Which is why I’m in this frickin’ cell. So why me?”

“As you just said, public thinks you blew up the building,” Blake says. “We did it, but the name ‘Zane Khatri’ is linked to that explosion.”

“When you join us,” Bryson says, “your name will add to the fear the Broke Brothers already represents. It’ll be awesome.”

“‘When’?” I say.

The brothers share another look. “Yes…?” Blake says.

I tut-tut-tut at them. “You mean if.”

“No,” Bryson snarls, his fingers reaching for the gun by his side. “When. It’s going to happen. We have a gun.”

“So?” I shrug. “I’m not joining you.”

Blake smiles coldly as Bryson points the weapon at me once again. “Okay, then. In that case, you’ll pay the price for refusing our offer.”

I just smiled, too.

I had a gun pointed at my face….

But….


𝟽/𝟸𝟿/𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟿


I had bad luck.

Naturally, I lost the court case.

I explained the reasons why all the evidence looked like I exploded the SayedStore. I wanted Cheetos. I hated people. End of story.

But they chose to believe their eyes and not my words.

I pleaded innocent. Which was the whole reason the trial happened, but I pleaded innocent there, too. I said what happened. I said I was telling the truth. My mother insisted I was innocent, saying I was at SayedStore for snacks. Nope.

The officers even showed me the footage and, just my luck, only one of the Broke Brothers were caught onscreen—and just a sliver of him. Enough to show the color of his clothes, but not the clothes he was wearing.

Life in prison.

Such a nice thing for an eighteen-year-old to have.  

Because of the explosion, I became one of the most famous teenagers of the decade. I was Zane Khatri, the crazy criminal.

I always wanted to be famous.

But not the kind of famous where I have to meet fans.

The kind of famous where people’s minds flash to me often, but I don’t have to interact with anybody.

I guess I got my wish.

Famous, in jail.

Delightful.


𝟹/𝟷𝟽/𝟸𝟶𝟹𝟶


….I know something the Broke Brothers don’t.

Right before Bryson shoots, both brothers are tackled from behind. They fall to the ground with a thud, moaning.

Jimi and a couple other guards proudly stand in the hole to my cell. The other guards rush to shackle the Broke Brothers, but Jimi walks up to me.

“You saw, right?” I say.

Jimi grins. “Yeah, buddy.”

Because here’s the thing—there are security cameras in each cell. Which a couple guards always watch during lockdowns.

So I was saved….

And the secret is out.

I didn’t set up the bombs.

The Broke Brothers did.


*


I stare up at the judge, the same one who judged at my first trial. With all the ‘new evidence’, they called another trial—and the judge is about to announce it.

Everyone gazes at the plump man. The room is tenser than the Olympics, as everyone radiates worries, wondering what my sentence will be.

Finally, the judge booms, “INNOCENT!”

Cries of joy echo in the court. From my family, from my bro Jimi, and loudest of all, from me.

My mouth muscles are sore as I stretch my smile to its capacity—I didn’t grin much in jail or normal life. I dash over to my mother, who didn’t give up on me whole time I was in prison, and try to hug her.

My bound arms didn’t get far with the gesture of embrace.

“Can you….” I start to the officers present, but Jimi is already on it. He lifts the copper key to my handcuffs I had to wear at the trial, and inserts the shining key into the hole. 

With a click, the cuffs that have bound my life for months fall to the floor.


September 03, 2020 21:07

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285 comments

21:11 Sep 03, 2020

EVERY TIME I make one of those, I say something like, “Like usual, a couple things.” This time, I’ll start with this: 🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔. Great, right? Anyways.... 1. WOOOAH, ANOTHER STORY THAT ISN’T 3,000 WORDS! This is only 2,800! I’m amazed.🤯 2. I’m actually pretty proud of the format...the past sandwiched between the future. Tell me what you think about it!😏😏😏 3. The ending. Is it okay? Should it be more dramatic? Idk, I just liked the simple statment that was kinda happy...what do y’all think??? 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ 4. Yeah, this takes p...

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21:46 Sep 03, 2020

1. YAY! Congrats!! 2. I agree! It is pretty unique and cool. 3. The last sentence was very dramatic... it was great. 4. I like ittttttt. It's different ( in a very good way )! 5. I do both.... 6. Ooooh ok! 7. Yep, it was. I was actually looking through activity and I saw the story! The first few sentences made me want to read it! 8. Byeeeee

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21:57 Sep 03, 2020

Yaaay I love all of your answers! Thanks for stopping by! (And I’m glad you liked the format, the ending, and the hook!)

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21:46 Sep 03, 2020

( And congrats on 1st place )

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21:57 Sep 03, 2020

Thanks!

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16:24 Sep 04, 2020

No Problemo.

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🄼🄹 🅂
18:28 Sep 09, 2020

Another amazing story Aerin! I love that it took place in the future. Congrats on staying in 1st place as well!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 Could you check out my most recent story if you have a chance? Thanks. Can't wait to see more of your writing!!

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18:39 Sep 09, 2020

Thanks! Sure, I’ll check out your story!

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Sapphire 🌼
21:58 Sep 05, 2020

I'm so so so glad you asked for my opinion on this. Wow. Just wow. The format of the story was so unique- the past and the present- and I found myself rooting for Zane to be free! This is honestly just spectacular. Great story. Great characters. Nice joke. LOVE IT! Also did you get the idea for the name Zane from Zayn Malik? Idk just curious....😂😂

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22:07 Sep 05, 2020

Ahhh thank you so much!!! THANKS! Haha, actually, I don’t know who that is 😂 Oh, and I saw in your bio you’re a PJ fan, KotLC fan, and Aru Shah fan...ME TOO!!!!!!!!! Keefe is my favorite character of all time, but I also love Leo ;) Oh, and QUESTION OF TRUTH: Fitzphie or Sokeefe? Also, if you like those books, I recommend ‘Sal & GABI’ if you haven’t already read them. They are HILARIOUS—even funnier than RR, in a different way—and an RR presents book. So funny!! And soooo cool! MULTIVERSSSSE!! Bye!

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Sapphire 🌼
00:07 Sep 06, 2020

OMG OMG OMG!! FINALLY A WORTHY HUMAN! haha! I also love Leo! But I have a huge crush on Percy!!! OMG KEEFE's my fav TOOOOO! yay I love obsessing over books with people!!!!!! Oh BTW im a TRUE Sokeefe fan! Fitzphie was kinda lame 'cause fitz was so mean! They broke up which leaves room for....SOKEEFE!!! also I've seen Sal & Gabi in costco....😂😂 will check it out! I've read the RR presents Aru Shah series...I totally ship Aru and Aiden! Can't think of a good ship name though...let meh know!! SO COOL! YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS BAI...

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00:56 Sep 06, 2020

HEHEHEHEHE Haha, okay! Yesss, Keefe is awesome, and you passed the test! SOKEEFE FOR LIFE! REEEAD SAL AND GABIIIIIIIII Ship name...hmmm....I love coming up with ship names so here’s what I’ve got: Aru+Aiden= Arden Airu Aruden Aidu Aideru

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Sapphire 🌼
16:07 Sep 06, 2020

HEHEHEH okay what about.....Arden? cause its the easiest to pronounce?

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16:27 Sep 06, 2020

*nods*

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Sapphire 🌼
00:16 Sep 06, 2020

did ur "quiz" btw

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00:54 Sep 06, 2020

😄

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B. W.
14:39 Sep 23, 2020

me and you could maybe go on another Up-voting spree for each other if you want?

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15:49 Sep 23, 2020

Sure!

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B. W.
15:52 Sep 23, 2020

thanks ^^

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B. W.
15:05 Sep 10, 2020

Wait, Aerin, how do you wanna act in the thing? the story with you and a few other friends will be out tomorrow but have ya said how ya wanted me to make ya act yet? i don't wanna do anything wrong.

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15:21 Sep 10, 2020

Uhhh...as long as I’m sassy, peppy, and like rainbows, you’ve got my personality nailed :D

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B. W.
15:28 Sep 10, 2020

I dunno how to do Sassy things but i'll still try to do it i guess, it probably won't be good though

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15:38 Sep 10, 2020

M’kay

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B. W.
15:43 Sep 10, 2020

Do ya maybe wanna go on another upvote-for-upvote spree thing?

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21:07 Sep 05, 2020

AWw thiiss was soooooo goood! Took awhile but I came back..but this was soo good! I liked how you show past and present. Loved how slow the story progressed but also moving ahead. I also liked the ending. I like how unique the story is too, I would have never thought of this as a story, but you did and it was so gooood! Great Job Aerin- and Keep on writing! -Snow✨*~

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21:08 Sep 05, 2020

Ahhh thank you so much!!! I’m so happy you enjoyed it!! ~Rainbow (OOOOOH! If you’re Snow and AMANY’S Sunny, can I be RAINBOW?!) 🌈~

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21:14 Sep 05, 2020

YES You cannn! Rainbow really fits you- I imagine fireworks when I say it! But yeah Rainbow it is!

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21:14 Sep 05, 2020

Yaaaay!!

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22:01 Sep 05, 2020

Heyyy Rainbow can you explain that writing contest like at the very beginning..like how do you count your story if your not supposed to use word count like what website are we supposed to use then? Also are their like prompts like on Reedsy??

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22:09 Sep 05, 2020

Heeey snow! Huh? We’re supposed to use word counter, I think...and no prompts. Basically, you write a 101 flash fiction story on ANYTHING and submit!! It’s fun. I expanded a ton on this in two comments a couple hours ago—one on the website, one on everything else (with an example of one of my submission and the feedback I received) if you want to scroll through my comments to find those!!

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Zilla Babbitt
01:02 Sep 04, 2020

You asked me to read, so here I am. This is quite good! I appreciate you not taking the chance to berate the legal system. The second italicized part was done well. The font for the date really made it stick out. You mention that he pleaded guilty. If this isn't a metaphor, then he has no trial. If a criminal pleads guilty he goes straight to a sentencing. If this wasn't your intention, I'd change the wording. Also, the first italicized part should be like the second one, a flashback without using words like had. Finally, I can't quite re...

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01:44 Sep 04, 2020

Thank you so much, Zilla! Okay, I’ll fix that plead guilty part. Actually, for the other things, this is why I made it take place in the future—in ten years, the laws might change! So in 2030, yup, Zane got jail for life. Thanks for stopping by!

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Zilla Babbitt
11:43 Sep 04, 2020

You're welcome! And I figured it out-- at 18 you can get life sentence. Even 17, if you're tried as an adult and did something really horrific.

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12:15 Sep 04, 2020

Woah! Yikes...

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Zilla Babbitt
12:19 Sep 04, 2020

Right? Don't do drugs, kids, and stay in school.

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12:20 Sep 04, 2020

🙃🙃🙃 Yup!

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Amany Sayed
18:34 Sep 05, 2020

Sis, can ya tell me more about the 101 words thing? The website is confusing me. It'd be really helpful, but I understand if you can't. thankssss

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18:41 Sep 05, 2020

OOH! This is called perfect coincidences. I just wrote a bunch to Vayd about the contest, if you wanna check out my comment. I included an example submission and feedback. Here are directions for the website: First, write a 101-word flash-fiction story about anything you want. Then, basically, when you go into the page, in the top right corner there is: ‘HOME. ABOUT. SUBMISSIONS’. Click ‘submissions’ and scroll down to the ‘submit’ thing. Enter your title of your story, then paste your submission. Enter the information and ignore any o...

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Amany Sayed
18:54 Sep 05, 2020

THANKS! Ugh, 101 words exact sounds tough. I saw your comment just now. Do you gotta put personal info?

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19:13 Sep 05, 2020

Not really. You just give em your name and email. The email’s fine—they never spam you, just send you one ‘thanks’ email and one feedback email, then get your address out of the system if you didn’t get in. It’s fun!

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Sia S
10:43 Sep 04, 2020

Woah!!!! Loved the drama!!

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12:14 Sep 04, 2020

Thanks!

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Sia S
15:52 Sep 04, 2020

😄

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B. W.
20:05 Sep 10, 2020

My gosh i'm still bored, i just wish it would be tomorrow already so i can make the stories. You wanna know some Relatable moments, you said something about that in your Bio right? i'll tell ya a few but heres the first one that i thought of: I came into the kitchen last night because i couldn't sleep and i was going to get a drink but i also took a little midnight snack before going back into my room i think it was Fruity Pebbles or something i can't fully remember and after i ate it i went back into the kitchen to just put the wrapper in t...

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21:15 Sep 10, 2020

I am very confused

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B. W.
21:20 Sep 10, 2020

i always get people confused with some things i say- what are you confused about?

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21:20 Sep 10, 2020

Idk I’m just confused....lol.....

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B. W.
21:25 Sep 10, 2020

have ya ever done something like that before though?

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21:26 Sep 10, 2020

Not really, but coool

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B. W.
03:52 Sep 10, 2020

My Birthday is on like the 22nd and you said CQ would be up by 20th- i'm still gonna get it but its just gonna be a late Birthday Present to myself- just kinda thought that was a bit funny or something.

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12:18 Sep 10, 2020

Haha noice, lol!

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B. W.
12:50 Sep 10, 2020

Wait what time is it for you? i know your probably a few hours a head of me but for me its like 7:50 am tbh

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12:50 Sep 10, 2020

Oh I’m an hour ahead of you It’s 8:50

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B. W.
13:07 Sep 10, 2020

Oh i thought ya were like 2 or 3 hours ahead of me tbh. and guess what :) tomorrow the story with you and a few others will be out ^^

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03:30 Sep 05, 2020

Hi Aerin! I just posted a new story if you wouldn't mind giving me some feedback!

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11:08 Sep 05, 2020

Sure!

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Wow! I love the detail and description! Love it! Hey, if you can, check out my new story and please leave me some feedback to improve!

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00:19 Sep 05, 2020

Thank you so much! Sure! But would you mind reminding me in the morning? I’ll be going to bed in a little while, soooo...

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Sorry, I didn't know, cause it's morning over here in Australia... Sweet dreams!

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Niveeidha Palani
08:32 Sep 04, 2020

Oh my god, Aerin!! Congrats on 1st place! Hmm, okay! Let's answer based on your points.. 1. I'm not. You're an AMAAZING author, I'm surprised you didn't write 4000 and so. And like, how do you even count the words! I get dizzy after counting a couple of sentences! 2. Yea, it's kinda cool! Where do you get those ideas? Those asterisks are pretty cool... 3. Whoa! Such a surprising twist at the end. Don't worry, it was not dramatic at all, just made the reader hooked to your story more! 4. Yep, how it roollls! 5. I liked it! No ...

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12:13 Sep 04, 2020

Thank you!! I know it’s only temporary, because Zilla’s close behind me, but it’s still excited!! Responses.... 1. Aw, thanks! Well, I definitely don’t count them, I use the Docs feature to make sure my story is in between 1000 and 3000 words. Which is tricky because often, they’re OVER 3000 and I hafta cut them down to 3k words. 2. Thanks! 3. Yaaaay, I’m glaaad!! 4. 😄 5. 😄😄😄😄 6. Hehe! I kinda want to open fictional sandwich shop called Palani’s Sandwiches in some other store...you game for that??? 7. Yesssss thank you...

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Niveeidha Palani
13:52 Sep 05, 2020

OMGGGGGG........ thank you so muchhhh for the upvoting. Gonna go on a upvoting spree for you rite noww! And yeah sure, I totally respect that you don't want to say where live, so its no worries. P.S - Palani's Sandwiches is cooll! Thank you so much!! It's much appreciated Aerin!

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12:18 Sep 04, 2020

Okay, I upvoted you! But, as I think I mentioned earlier, I’ve already upvoted most of your comments. But you still have over 20 new points, sooo!

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Niveeidha Palani
13:53 Sep 05, 2020

Thank you so much Aerin!!! I'm going to upvote you now!

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Niveeidha Palani
13:56 Sep 05, 2020

Okay!!! I'm done! You went up 100 points~

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14:13 Sep 05, 2020

Thank you!!

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Niveeidha Palani
02:13 Sep 06, 2020

No problem!

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B. W.
21:19 Sep 03, 2020

Another one? great ^^ i think this story is really great like your other ones and there still isn't anything wrong with it. i kinda liked the stuff with the cheeto's tbh. i can't wait for your other stories whenever you do more, remember to tell me ^^ some of my other stories should be out somewhere tomorrow so i'll also tell you about those ones when i finish. still not much of a surprise but i still know you really like it so another 10/10 :)

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21:19 Sep 03, 2020

Thanks, B.W.!

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B. W.
21:21 Sep 03, 2020

No problem ^^

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WRL Battle
19:15 Sep 26, 2020

Glad I could to find some time to read your story. I liked the comedic elements like the father falling on the stove and being burned alive because a cucumber turned it on. I also like how build the suspense throughout the story by switching from the past to the present. Really, enjoyed it! 😀👍

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21:39 Sep 26, 2020

Thank you so much!

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Amaya .
22:46 Sep 21, 2020

This question is directed at Aerin, but answers from anybody who has experience or tips are highly appreciated: do you have any tips for how to plot a novel? Like if you have a very vague idea of what you want (mine idea is in my bio, if you want to read) how do you decide on the other details? And what is a good "format" to use to plot your novel?

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00:38 Sep 22, 2020

Ummm, well, I plan a LOT. Not down to every last detail, but every details of the plot. Kinda. I typically do a day-by-day planner of the span of the novel and the important events that happen on those days, like: Day one: Avara has first day of school, notices her teacher is suspicious Day two: DEFINITELY suspicious Day three: Avara finds out teaches is a monster; Aiden dies; Avara runs into the woods Day four: Avara can’t get out of the woods, she makes a cameo Etc. Also, a format...idk. I just write a big chapter title in docs ...

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Amaya .
01:03 Sep 22, 2020

Yeah, it did, thank you! I was wondering, do you have any name ideas for my mc that aren't white?

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01:52 Sep 22, 2020

I dunno. I have a lot of random names and some are White, I guess. Here: -Amaya -Valerie -Adeline -Scarlett -Fleur Those are just some random onesssss

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Amaya .
14:07 Sep 22, 2020

Oooh I really like Amaya. That's actually the name that I let people on reedsy call me, since biblio_phile isn't really a name :) Thank you!

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Amany Sayed
01:35 Sep 22, 2020

What nationality are you looking for? :)

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Amaya .
14:08 Sep 22, 2020

I'm honestly open to all, I haven't decided on an ethnicity for her yet. Thanks Amany!

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Amany Sayed
14:10 Sep 22, 2020

Talia Farah Antionette Fifi Elle'

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Amaya .
23:37 Sep 21, 2020

Aerin? I saw that you liked my story (thanks btw) so I was wondering if you saw this comment. Sorry I'm being so annoying :) I'm just itching for some advice! Edit: Okay, I'm sorry, but did I just write ITCHING? Is that a real thing that people use? I hope it is because I actually think its kinda cool

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00:38 Sep 22, 2020

Yeah, lol, I saw it, I just didn’t want to answer QUITE yet. P. S. Haha, love it!

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D. Shikha
09:46 Sep 19, 2020

Hwy Aerin, I posted a new story, would you mind checking it out?

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12:57 Sep 19, 2020

I did :D

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D. Shikha
12:59 Sep 19, 2020

Thanks!!

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B. W.
16:17 Sep 16, 2020

I'm working on chapter 4 of the novel at the moment and i have officially added a character by the name of "Rainbow" who's a nod towards you :) she won't be there the entire time but she'd be there for a bit

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B. W.
21:48 Sep 14, 2020

Okay this might be getting a bit annoying to you so i'm sorry if it is or something, but i guess i'm just nervous and maybe a bit scared about working on the novel i told you about. I've seen the few clip things that you've shown us for CQ 1 and a bit of CQ 2 and they both look amazing, but with my story i'm working on chapter 1 and it just looks terrible or boring along with Grammar probably being really bad and the chapters will probably be really short and if it ever got onto Amazon or really anything it would probably be terrible and no ...

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23:13 Sep 14, 2020

Wow, well, okay, chill. Don’t worry. First of all, editing exists and is a life-saver. So even if you think the manuscript is iffy, you can always edit it. But it won’t be iffy! You’re writing is amazing and creative, and I think that if you download Grammarly and just work on spelling, grammar, capitulation and punctuation as you write, you’ll have a great book. Second, maybe start out writing your book as a hobby. Just relax and write the book for fun. For YOU, not your audience quite yet. Then, editing. Also, as I’ve said, any possible is...

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B. W.
23:21 Sep 14, 2020

Sorry- i kinda start freaking out and get nervous about things real easy. The first chapter is really short and first chapters are always really short though right? I'll really try to use Grammarly or something else that can really help me with this stuff and i just gotta stop forgetting. Yeah thanks, even whenever or if i finish i'm not even entirely sure i would send it out or whatever you do for everyone to see it because i'll probably still need to work on a lot of things, so i guess i'll just do it for fun most of the time. i'll try to ...

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RBE | Illustration — We made a writing app for you | 2023-02

We made a writing app for you

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