So This Is Love

October 26th, 2021

9:26 P.M.

Dear Diary,

Oh my gosh! This is like my 8th time telling this story and each time it feels more unbelievable! I still can't wrap my finger around the fact that today, at 3:06 P.M. under the Buck Lodge bleachers, in Adelphi, Maryland, Jeremy Fyers kissed me!

Ok, so kind of a confusing story, so I’ll try to tell it in as much detail as I can remember. It all started early this morning on one end Cherry Street, which is only .2 miles from the bus stop. It was raining really hard out and I was running late because my little sister Virginia turned my alarm off as a prank so I overslept. I had to sprint to the bus stop if I had any hope of catching the bus. I had just reached Cherry Street when I completely ran into Jez Fyers(Jez is short for Jeremy) The cutest boy in 7th grade! He knew I was late, so was he. All our stuff had fallen out of our backpacks getting soaked in the rain. We ironically both picked up the other person's things and handed them back at the same time. As I reached to grab my things from his arms there was one small moment where our hands touched and there was the spark. An automatic connection between two people. It felt as if time had stopped. Like nothing else was happening in the moment. His teal blue eyes stared into mine, and as long as it lasted, the moment had to end. The bus came screeching to a stop at the end of Cherry Street. We both quickly broke away, stuffed our things back into our bags, and ran to the bus. I quickly found my seat in the very front next to my best friend Elise, and Jez sat behind us next to his friend Tyler. We were about halfway to the school when Tyler tapped Elise on the shoulder and handed her a note, and to my surprise, she turned back and gave it to me. It was a note from Jez! I just barely made out the words, under the bleachers, 3:00, because of his sloppy handwriting. I almost fell out of the seat! I mean, Jeremy Fyers, the cutest and the most popular kid in 7th grade wanted to talk to me?! Mind blown. The day went by SO slowly, but I made it to 3:00, and boy at that moment was I a nervous wreck. As I walked across the field, my stomach was churning, and I was considering not going. But, I couldn't lose my one chance to talk to Jez, and plus it wouldn’t have been fair to stand him up. When I made it to the bleachers, Jez was already there waiting for me. He reached for my hand and started to apologize for running into me earlier. I wanted to say it was my fault, but I was so nervous, and I’m almost positive my face turned redder with every word he said. I turned my head away trying to hide my face, and that was when he took a step closer to me, turned my chin so that his eyes locked with mine. He tucked a strand of my curly brown hair behind my ear, and whispered, 

“How have I never noticed how beautiful you are before?” 

And before I knew it his lips were on mine, and we kissed. It was unbelievable! I didn't know what to think. I mean who would know what to think after the cutest boy in 7th grade had kissed you? Right after I got home I called Elise and told her everything, and I’m pretty sure she was even more blown away than I was. It still doesn’t feel real though. The kiss was 6 hours ago, and it feels like it never happened. Like it was all a dream and I’m about to wake up. My Mom's yelling at me to turn my light out, so I gotta go. But I’ll keep you posted!

-Alyssa

October 28th, 2021

7:04 P.M.

Dear Diary,

Sorry, I didn't write yesterday, my great-grandma passed away. I didn't really know her, but the whole family was still upset. I didn't go to school, but Jez came over around 3:30 just to check on me, he didn't stay for long though. He knew I needed some time to myself. My Mom decided we should start trying to be more thankful, so she’s making the whole family write three things you’re thankful for every day. I decided to write them here because I can't find another notebook. So, here goes nothing.

1. Family
2. Jez
3. Ice Cream

So yeah those are my three things. Pretty basic. I didn't go to school today either but I plan to tomorrow, I think I just needed one more day. I told my mom about Jez this morning, and she had a lot of questions. One question that kept coming up was if we were actually calling ourselves a couple. If I’m being honest, I’m kinda curious too. Mom suggested I ask today but Jez couldn't stop by because he had football practice, and I’m too nervous to ask anyways. Plus I think its too soon. In addition to telling Mom, my Dad also found out. He had a very different reaction. Dad gave me the boys talk which was really awkward and then asked me a bunch of weird questions. In the end, I do think my dad has accepted Jez. I just decided I’m done being a chicken. I’m going to text Jez and ask him if we’re in a relationship...right after his football practice ends. I don't want to disturb him that’s all:)Anyways I gotta go eat dinner, but I’m sure I’ll have an update tomorrow!

-Alyssa

October 29th, 2021

11:40 P.M.

Dear Diary, 

Ok, before I do anything else I’m gonna write my three things I’m thankful for.

1. My little sister Ellie
2. My dog Opie
3. My older sister Virginia

Like yesterday, pretty basic. It was my first day back at school, and since Jez and I kissed. It seems like the whole school knows! Everyone was sneaking me weird looks all day, especially the popular girls. Which felt kinda good, because they always get their way. It was weird but also I guess satisfying to see them for once not get their way. After school, I had invited Jez over, so we sat together on the bus. I was nervous that Elise would be angry that I was sitting with Jez, but if anything she was really excited. She kept sneaking me winks and thumbs up from across the aisle. Jez and I talked about how his football season was going. I really wanted to bring up the question, but there were too many people listening and watching, I didn’t want to get humiliated. When we were walking back to my house, we decided to change paths and walk to the park which is only a couple of minutes away from my house. All of sudden Jez stopped and walked over to a nearby bench. I sat down nervously next to him, with my stomach churning with nerves, I waited for him to start the conversation. He scooted closer to me, and just like under the bleachers, he got really close, and told me, 

“You really are beautiful.” 

Then he kissed me. It was just as exhilarating as the first time. When we broke away, he took my hand, and...this is too exciting, so I’m gonna tell you exactly what he said. 

“Alyssa, will you go out with me on Friday night?” 

Inside I started to freak out! But I was able to act calm and respond with a simple, yes. It’s now 11:42 P.M. and I can’t sleep. On the bus ride there were two girls sitting behind us, and their words still vividly echo in my mind. 

“Oh my gosh, Gabby? Did you hear Alyssa Burns is dating Jeremy Fyers?” One girl asked.

The girl whose name was Gabby laughed. 

“She won’t last a day. He’s probably just using her to get close to her older sister.” Gabby said.

“Yeah, she’ll be history by the end of the week.” 

They both laughed,

“He’ll forget about her the minute another girl walks by. I bet he doesn’t even love her.” 

Those last words, in particular, I can’t get out of my head. 

I bet he doesn’t even love her.

Is that true? I mean it does seem weird that all of a sudden the most popular kid in school, loves me. But we kissed. Twice. None of it makes sense. Does he love me or not? Ugh, why is love so confusing? On the plus side only 31 hours and 18 minutes until my date with Jez. Only 31 hours. Goodnight.

-Alyssa

October 30th, 2021  

9:31 A.M.

Dear Diary, 

I’m so glad there’s no school today. Teacher workdays are a blessing. I didn’t fall asleep until around 2 o’clock so I'm lucky I got to sleep in. I woke up a couple of minutes ago, and my phone had a bunch of missed messages from Elise, a huge group chat that had almost all 7th-grade girls, but 1 message stood out. There was a message from Jez. He was asking if we were still on for the date since he hadn’t realized it was on Haloween. I’m freaking out right now! What do I say?! Ok… Alyssa, keep your cool. 

A: Hey sorry I didn’t respond earlier, I had a restless night so I took the opportunity to sleep in!:) 

J: You’re good… so are we still on for tomorrow night?

A: Yeah.

J: Cool, I know just the place to take you, I’ll pick you up at 7.

A: Ok! See you tomorrow, ttyl!

J: Bye.

Oh my gosh! I have a date with Jeremy Fyers! Can’t breathe. I have nothing to wear. Nothing, my closet is full of old, boring clothes.

A couple of minutes later…

Ok diary, good news, Mom said she would take me shopping in a little. The bad news is I don't know where we’re going, so I don’t know whether to go casual or fancy. Ugh, wish me luck.

-Alyssa

October 30th, 2021

4:56 P.M.

Dear Diary,

It's the same day, but I just got home from shopping, and I think my mom spent way more money than she had planned too, but it’s ok, cause now I have lots to choose from. I still don’t know whether to do casual or fancy, I’ll go in the middle. I’m gonna go pick what I’m wearing.

A couple of minutes later…

Ok, I gotta go soon so I’ll tell you what I’m wearing tomorrow cause I still have to write my three things.

1. Jez
2. Dates
3. Shopping

Ok… so not my best ones, but it’s all I can come up with! More tomorrow!

-Alyssa

October 31st, 2021

6:56

Dear Diary,

4 minutes until Jez comes to pick me up! I’m so excited! Well, I’m more nervous than excited, but pay attention to the good! Oh yeah, I promised you I would tell you what I’m wearing tonight!

I decided to go in the middle, so kinda casual and kinda fancy. I’m wearing a light pink off the shoulder blouse, jeans, and a pair of black flats. Since I can’t really do anything cute with my bushy, wavy brown hair, I straightened it and just left it down. I have absolutely no idea where we’re going, so I’m excited to see what Jez has to plan! Oh my gosh! He’s here! He’s early? 2 whole minutes early?! Wish me luck!

-Alyssa

November 1st, 2021

3:16 P.M.

Dear Diary,

Halloween is officially my favorite holiday! It has to be the most romantic holiday! Well besides Valentine’s day. Halloween is the day people fall in love! The day people kiss! The day people find their soul mates. And on Halloween night of 2021, I think I found my soulmate. The date went perfectly! We went to the movie theatre, and saw....well… to be honest, I actually don’t remember what we saw, I wasn't really watching. I was too busy, worrying, and getting lost in Jez’s big teal eyes. Afterward, it was only like 9:30 and I didn’t have to be home till 11 so we walked to the coffee shop next door, and both got hot chocolates. When we sat down I noticed a couple of girls from school at a table not far from ours and they were waving flirtatiously to Jez, which wouldn’t usually bother me, except the girl’s words echoed in my head from the other day.

 I bet he doesn’t even love her

Tears welled in my eyes, so I turned my head trying to save myself from embarrassment. Jez turned my chin so that he could easily see the one tear that had slipped out of my eyes, that was rolling down my cheek.

“Alyssa, I know what you're thinking. Elise aggressively interrogated me the other day when you weren’t there, and she told me about the girls on the bus, and how you're worried that this is just a joke or a way to get closer to your sister.”

I shrugged, embarrassed and slightly annoyed with Elise. 

“Alyssa Burns, I love you. This is no joke and no way to use you. I love everything about you. Your wavy brown hair, your brilliant green eyes. The way you twirl one strand of your hair that always falls out if you wear your hair up. I really do love you. ”

He grabbed my hand, leaned in, and we kissed. This kiss felt different than the 2 before. It felt so real and so true. I already have ideas for a wedding cake flavor! Oh! I almost forgot my three things! 

1. My boyfriend
2. Halloween
3. Love 

Talk tomorrow, hopefully. I’m about to get really busy with sports, Jez, homework. So I’ll try my best to still write daily, but some days they might be kinda short, or just updates with how everything’s going!!

- Alyssa 

December 2nd, 2021

8:42

Dear Diary, 

I’m so sorry I haven’t written in so long! I can’t believe it's been over a month! We stopped doing the three things(Thank goodness, it was getting annoying) so this is just an update with everything! Jez and I are still dating, I started taking hip hop, and love is in the air! I have decided to take a break from diary writing until summer because it's just too much to juggle. So I won’t be writing for a while:( Gotta go!

-Alyssa

September 6th, 2037

7:42

Dear Diary, 

Wow, have I had a lot of fun reading my old diary entries. Its 16 years later, I’m 29, I’m married -not to Jez- and I have two little girls. I am glad I dated Jez because I feel like it really helped me mature, and we’re still really good friends. I’ll never forget my first love. When we broke up I was so upset. I didn’t want to get out of bed, it felt like my life was over. But I eventually got over it, and I feel like I learned a lot from our relationship, even if it was young and nothing serious. I wish my 13-year-old self would’ve known that there are gonna be bumps in the road but no journey is perfect. Mom told me that once, and she told me it basically means, there’s gonna be times where things seem terrible and it feels like your life is over. But when you’re having your journey in life and creating your path, you have to know that there are gonna be some bumps in the road but to be able to continue your journey, you have to accept that everyone’s life is gonna have problems in it including yours, even if they’re not major problems. But that can’t stop you from reaching your final destination. I feel like I need to write my three things one more time.

1. My wonderful family
2. My supporting parents
3. All the lessons I’ve learned along the way

This was a place when I was young where I could just write whatever I was feeling and I would feel safe to have it in this diary. It always felt like another friend, that never tried to fix anything, just listened. So thanks for always listening.

-Alyssa