544 comments

Adventure Drama Fantasy


“It doesn’t count if you’re already planning your defeat, you know.”

My hands reach for my feet, my chest brushing against my burning, flat legs as I complete the stretch. I keep my body in the stinging position until I finally let go with a deep breath. I gaze up at my best friend’s green eyes.

“Don’t even deny it,” Mollie warns, swinging her arms to prepare for the semifinals of a race that will determine a life. She rolls her shoulders. “It’s obvious.”

I sigh as I push to my feet. I shake the warm sand wedged between my bare toes off and meet Mollie’s stunning eyes, a vibrant green glinting in the merciless sun. “It is? D’you think Alora noticed?”

“No, not that obvious. But I’m your best friend. I can tell.”

“And she’s Alora. She can practically read my mind.”

“Twins don't grant superpowers, Zadie.”

“Maybe they do.”

We have an unspoken staring contest for a moment until Mollie blinks, glares, and sprints off down the beach. Her worn, salt-studded tunic whips against her thighs as she races towards the pier. I’m amazed she got to the semifinals of The Event, but then again, even a person much slower than Mollie could’ve made it. Almost nobody trained like our trio had, as almost nobody cared for leaving Kiyoki.

That’s stupidity. Our small island in the middle of the Zarenian Sea is neglected and used. Our struggling population shrinks by the day, Vanota taking our fish, pearls, and dried seaweed and replacing them with pathetic amounts of freshwater or clothing. I’m sick of this island, this lifestyle, just diving and fishing all day, trying to survive. I’d do anything to leave, to gain the prize of a boat to land. To escape Kiyoki, even though I’d still be under Vanota’s iron hand.

In a few days, I’ll be turning sixteen. Which means Alora will be turning sixteen, too. Sixteen whole years spent in and out of the ocean or my cabin made of driftwood I live in with Mother, Father, and Alora. Sixteen whole years of my silky black hair billowing in the water, olive skin shining in the sunlight as I walk back to my home with just a few clams.

But today, I have a chance. A chance at freedom. At life.

A chance I must give to Alora.

See, while I love Mollie, Alora means more to me than life itself. She’s closer to me than the clothes I’m wearing. Alora understands me in a way Mollie never can. Alora looks exactly like me: smooth olive skin, flowing black hair, and glittering amber eyes, and she thinks like me, too. Many Kiyokians are fine with this abysmal, boring life, but Alora and I yearn to be free of this island. Mollie agreed with us on that.

Every ten years, Kiyokians under the age of twenty may compete in what we’ve nicknamed ‘The Event’. It’s the only interesting thing around here. The Event is hosted by a person sent from Vanota—the continent far from our island that practically owns us. This Event is a race: the ultimate contest, spanning over one week of sprinting and ten rounds. The final winner receives insane amounts of Vanotan products, which is the reason people compete anyways, and the most valuable thing of all: the decision of a ticket off Kiyoki.

That’s what I want. What Alora, Mollie and I have dreamed of for years. Getting to return to Vanota with the director of The Event, legally allowed to leave this blasted place and explore the world.

Mollie is fair game. I love her, but I wouldn’t sacrifice leaving here to let her win. Alora, on the other hand….

My kind sister, more reserved and mature than I’ll ever be, while wanting to win, has never displayed her enthusiasm as much as I have. But I don’t care. Alora will go. She must go. She deserves it. And I’ll do everything I can to make it to the final three runners, just so I can let myself fail for her.

Our last shot at leaving.

Her last shot at leaving.

Mollie knows my plan. She’s against it, our trio having sworn to try our hardest last Event and this one. But Mollie won’t spill to my oblivious twin, and she can’t stop me otherwise.


*


My body is poised in the runner’s stance as I crouch down on the beach. I glance to my left and right, eyeing my opponents. Five people: Mollie, her friz of blond hair glimmering in the sun; Alora, eyes focused on the ground; a dark-skinned boy who looks a few years older than me; and a fourteen-year-old I know to be named Kyaa. 

“Psst! Zadie!”

I twist my head to my right and see Alora on the other side of Mollie, flashing me an enthusiastic thumbs up. “Good luck!”

I smile. “Good luck!”

Mollie rolls her eyes. “Thanks for including me in this conversation.”

I’m about to retort some sassy apology when the Vanotan director’s voice bounces around the beach from his perch in a metal tower (the only building of that substance on the whole island). “ATTENTION!”

The Event, being something all Kiyokians are required to attend, has Kiyoki’s whole population sitting at the top of the beach, all the way around the island. They all watch with curious eyes.

“Welcome to the Semifinals of Rakidayok,” the brown-haired man booms, referring to The Event by the official name. “Our five contestants—Zadie at age fifteen, Mollie at age sixteen, Kyaa at age fourteen, Janak at age seventeen, and Alora at age fifteen—will compete in a race around this island. The first three to cross the finish line”—he nodded to the red line of seaweed laid in front of us—“will land a spot in the finals. The winner of the finals will get a prize and the option to go to Vanota.”

I shake my head subtly to myself.

“LET’S DO IIIT!” the Vanotan cheers, the Kiyokians erupting in applause.

I see the man brush his shaggy blond hair out of his face from the corner of my eyes. “THREE!”

I twist my left foot in the sand.

“TWO!”

My eyes almost shut, I concentrate on the sand in front of my face. I feel the hum of the ocean, this world I’ve known my whole life. The surf. The sea. Alora. This is my only chance for her.

“GOOOOO!”

My eyes snap open and my feet thrust off the ground.


*


“We’re so proud of you both,” Mother cooes.

Father nods. “We knew you two were the fastest.”

Alora and I trail behind our parents, swinging our arms as we hold hands. Twilight approaches, the sky painted with shades. The race, which ended nearly an hour ago, was a success. Alora and I are going to the finals with that boy, Janak.

After the race ended and my adrenaline faded away, there was a party on the beach. Celebrating the speedy twins and fast boy. Of course, there were a few tears shed for those who were supporting Mollie and Kyaa—Alora and I had to comfort a sobbing Mollie after she came in a close 4th place—but it was mostly a celebration. We danced, we sang, and I even shook hands with the Vanotan man. His hands were soft and smooth, something I had never seen before among hard-working Kiyokian hands. My own hands were carassed to smoothness by the ocean, but creased with wrinkles and calluses from digging in sand and rowing boats.

Alora and I exchange looks behind our parents’ backs. A frown traces my lips but I bite back my words. Actually, we weren't the fastest. The race was close—too close. Kyaa was behind from the beginning, and Janak and I were neck-to-neck for first place. Mollie and Alora were switching in and out of third place from what I’d seen from my glimpses of them while running. Halfway around our island, the race mixed up a little. Alora thrust ahead of Mollie and was even ahead of Janak for a short period of time. In the last dozen yards, Janak had pressed ahead of me and beat Alora, winning first place while I received second and my twin got third.

That was okay. This time. But in the race tomorrow? Only one person could cross the finish line first, and that needed to be Alora.

As we walk back home, the endless sky turns to copper, then to black. I watch Alora’s tied-back hair rustle in the wind, thinking about how in one week, she wouldn’t be here.

Assuming Janak won second.

Assuming my plan would work and I’d take the lead, only for my precious sister to win.

Assuming I didn’t mess this all up.


*


My gaze is fixed on the distance, amber eyes tracing the horizon. The sun peeks from behind the ocean, warming the sky with hues of yellow and pink.

It’s the morning of the race. The finals of The Event. This day is going to be the most memorable thing before a life of swimming and hunting every day. A life of struggle, of simplicity. 

But I’m okay without that. As long as my other half is happy, I’ll be happy as well.

The gentle breeze ripples my tunic, rolling the sand against my limbs. Here, in the cool mist of the ocean, warm of the sunrise, I’m at home. At peace.

I hear soft footsteps in the sand, then the sound of a person plopping down next to me. Without taking my eyes off the rising sun, I say, “Alora.”

“Yes?” her smooth voice answers, a touch of playfulness edging into her words.

“Why are you here? You should be sleeping. It’s too early to be awake.”

“And yet you’re up.”

I won’t be going to Vanota today.”

“Well, even if you doubt your skills, I want to spend the last sunrise with my dear sister before her departure.”

We turn in unison, her glinting eyes meet my own. “You really think I’ll be going?” I whisper.

She nods. “You’re much faster than me.”

Maybe so, but that didn’t mean I would win.

I just reply with a shake of my head, then change to a more playful subject. “How do you think poor Janak will feel when he loses the race to you?” I ask, my tone light.

She laughs. “I think you mean you, Zadie. But honestly...he can’t be that sad, right? Only Mollie and you care for leaving. I do too, of course, but not as much as you two.”

I knew she was right, but it still surprised me to hear it. “You really don’t care so much? Don't you want to see the world?”

Alora shrugged. “Honestly? The beautiful place I’ve grown up in doesn’t sound like such a bad alternative to foreign land full of strangers. Why do I need a crazy adventure of a life when I can have a simple and full one? This is where my friends are, my family is. This is home.”

“But….” I can’t finish my sentence. 

We watch the sunrise together. The sky turns to blue and before we know it, it’s been hours of sitting in peaceful silence, listening to the waves tug at the shore.

The race is at noon. I have two hours before I’ll be sprinting across this very spot.


*


Soon, I’m dressed in the tunic best-suited for the race. The one that’s tighter around my torso and loose from my waist to my knees. My shorts under my tunic are stretchy for running. The whole outfit is thrown into blue, an expensive pop of color among most gray garments.

Clad in the same outfit, Alora is even more indistinguishable than usual. Her hand finds mine as Mother and Father lead us to the race.

We’re twenty minutes early. The beach is buzzing with voices, people still roaming over the beach because they needn’t sit yet. There are food and drink carts, laughter ringing in the air.

“ATTENTION, ATTENTION, KIYOKIANS!”

My eyes dart to the announcing booth. The Vanotan claps his hands to get the crowd’s attention. “The race will be starting in twenty minutes. You must be seated in ten. As a reminder, the three contestants are Janak, age seventeen, Zadie, age fifteen, and Alora, age fifteen. The winner will receive a prize of twenty gallons of freshwater, fifty pounds of their choice of Vanotan foods, twenty square yards of fabric made into any clothes, and two of the new, rare invention of Clarmkas.” He holds his pale hand up, displaying a flat silverish thing. He opens it, the top part popping up, and says, “Call Bloke Kiserai.” 

Immediately, a hologram of some brunette Vanotan guy appears. The announcer says, “Hello. Sorry. Goodbye.” then closes the gadget. He turns back to the audience. “That way, the winner may communicate with their family and friends back home if they choose to take up the last prize: an option to accompany me back to Vanota.”

He continues on with the details, but I’m barely listening. What?! With that weird device, everything could work out…amazingly. Alora could explore the world and still talk with me and Mollie.

I’m still shocked but excited for the next fifteen minutes. I feel like I’m detached from reality as I daydream about everything awesome Alora and I can do with Clarmkas. I float back down to Kiyoki when Alora nudges me. “Zadie. C’mon. The race is about to start.”

We both sip at a water bottle Mother provided, then migrate over to a new start and finish line, this one made of green seaweed. All spectators are already seated, leaving the beach open for running.

Janak is already crouching behind the line. Alora and I bend down, ready to go. One minute. Just sixty seconds until I’ll be sprinting—then abruptly stopping. 

The seconds pass in a snap, and soon, I’m once again staring at the sand under my face as the announcer booms:

“FINAL RACE STARTS IN THREE…

TWO…

GOOOOO!”


I waste no time. As soon as the man says ‘go’, I take off running.

I was worried I’d be tired from previous races. Worried I’d do this wrong, trip or something. Instead, my experience of sprinting on the beach pumps through my veins.

As soon as my hands lift off the beach, I’m flying on land. My feet barely touch the consuming sand as I race across the surf. My blank mind leaves no room for lingering thoughts. The only things that exist are me, the sand, and Alora running behind me.

As the race stretches on, I expand my focus of running to my surroundings. I’m halfway around the island. Alora is right behind me and Janak is trailing ahead.

Running as fast as I can, I feel at peace. Sprinting is a calming sensation, adrenaline lacing your skin but your mind focused on one task: speed. Dashing across the dunes…it’s as familiar to me as air.

I see Janak press ahead. Alora trails behind me and Janak is right by my side. As he takes the lead three-quarters of the way around the island, I panic. I need to go faster.

I watch as Alora advances on Janak, plopping him into second place and me into third. Then…Janak trips on sand. He falls, leaving me and Alora sprinting. 

I’m smiling wider than I ever have before. It’s just me and my twin, a wise expanse of sand in front of us. I see the finish line a hundred yards in the distance. I slow down a little, but don’t stop. Alora needs to think I’m still trying to win.

Side by side, our feet sprint over the sand. Just ten yards ‘till the finish line. Now five. I’m about to stop myself and let Alora’s unstoppable speed carry her over the line, when I glance over.

I glimpse Alora’s perfect face, a smile tracing her lips….as she slows to a stop two yards from the finish line. I’m so surprised, staring at her tan limbs no longer pumping, that I forget to pause my own feet.

Still gawking at my sister, I fly over the finish line. 


A finish line is a place of triumph. I can’t fight off a grin as I trot to a complete stop, until realization sinks in.

I crossed the line first.

I won.

I’m going to Vanota, not Alora.

This wasn’t supposed to happen….

The Vanotan man’s comments and the roar of applause seem distant as tears stream down my face. Alora walks across the finish line, grinning, and I throw my sobbing self onto her. “Why did you do that?!

She gently pushes me away and meets my eyes. “Do what?”

“Let me win.”

“Because you deserve it.”

“But….” More tears break free. “Going to Vanota was your dream.

She squeezes my shoulders, a tear slipping down her cheek. “No, sister. It was your dream.”

I blink at her and she sighs. “Zadie, I never cared for going to Vanota. I just played along with you and Mollie. Everything was leading up to this moment, this moment where—”

“You let me win,” I whisper. I can’t believe it. Alora had beat me at my own game, and I finally understood why. 

“It’s better this way,” she says with a smile, eyes swimming. “You’ve always wanted to explore the world, and now you can. You can have an exotic life and I can have a simple one. We can even talk and see each other with those weird inventions.”

I’m still crying, but now they’re tears of happiness. I can’t wrap my mind around the last minutes. I’m going to Vanota, and Alora is happy for me. 

I embrace my twin, sweaty skin against sweaty skin. I can only find one thing to say: “I…I love you, Alora.”

She hugs me tighter. “I love you, too.”


November 03, 2020 22:52

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

544 comments

22:57 Nov 03, 2020

Hiya, guys! Okay, like usual, I have a couple things to say. Staring with the obvious one: 1. OH. MY. GOSH. I haven’t posted in so freakin’ long! Nearly two months since my last story...WOW. I really hope this story isn’t trash because I haven’t been writing short stories in a while! 2. Speaking of short stories, this wasn’t exactly short. It’s exactly 3k words...delightful. Sorry for the length, but I hope this dystopian story was decent ‘till the end! 3. ~sTiLl In ShOcK cUz I aCtUaLlY pOsTeD~ 4. This story was...okay? I actuall...

Reply

Amany Sayed
04:12 Nov 04, 2020

1. Indeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed, but it's awesome as u s u a l 2. Yas 3.lLOL 4.Nahhhh perfect plot twist man 5.Yes you didddd 6.10/10 Fav scene is when races were starting, felt really cyoool. overall still amazed at how you manage to come up with this stuff like what is your secret 7. **praying to the reedsy gods** MY PLEASURE WE BETTER NOT WAIT AS LONG FOR NEXT STORY LPBF OUT

Reply

13:00 Nov 04, 2020

Thanks so muchhhh sis! Aw thanks, although it’s more of a 6/10 😅 thank youuu! And yeah lol I REALLY hope Reedsy approved it....😑 OKAY WELL I *SWEAR* IT WON’T BE TWO MONTHS THIS TIMEEEE Adios, Lady Pineapple Buys Foods! (Lol) Thankss!

Reply

Amany Sayed
14:34 Nov 04, 2020

Weclomeeee! Nuuuu! It BETTER -_- Lol, any time!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Amaya .
00:28 Nov 17, 2020

DID IT GET APPROVED I NEED TO KNOW

Reply

00:56 Nov 17, 2020

*Sigh* No, it didn’t. But at least... I adopted a unicorn!

Reply

Amaya .
00:57 Nov 17, 2020

ohh Aerin that's so amazing!

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
R. K.
04:16 Nov 04, 2020

I'm guessing "LPBF" has nothing to do with 'little ponies buying figs' and everything to do with a certain Pouis Lartridge? ;)

Reply

Amany Sayed
04:20 Nov 04, 2020

Whaaaaaaaat it's um Lady Pineapple Buys Food But it's actually Louis Partridge's biggest fan lol I'm so glad you got it :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
22:44 Nov 07, 2020

1. YESSSS But we r happy u did ;) 2. Well, it is your style. haha. 3k all the way. 3. Lol 4. NOPE LOVED IT. Could take some tweaks here and there but then again, your writing after ages so yeah. 5. Yup. you didddd 6. ummmm ill do 9 outta 10! you have such a big talent!!! Like i've never done a short story 3k! It's either big big or short short. Like my biggest short story was 6k lol. 7. I HOPE SO!

Reply

Show 0 replies

This story is awesome! And sooooo much better thanI could write...Awesome job, Aerin!

Reply

02:47 Nov 19, 2020

Thank you so muchhhh!

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 3 replies
Emma Sunshine
01:35 Nov 05, 2020

Aerin, this might not be a very valid accusation, but I think that you might be a downvoter or you are somebody who pretends to have a downvoter in order to get upvoted. You might ask why: I was scrolling through your past comments, and I saw that you agreed with some people when they asked you if you were Catarina Reynolds. Catarina Reynolds (who I think is YOU) said that she downvoted you, so I believe that you were doing this merely to get sympathy upvotes. I am sorry if this is a false accusation, but I believe that this is the case.

Reply

01:53 Nov 05, 2020

Oh haha, you’re right and your wrong! First of all, I am NOT the downvoter. Trust me on that: definitely not. First of all, while the kind upvoting is remarkable, it’s nothing from the 10k points the downvoter has taken from me. So yeah, even if I downvoted myself to get upvoted, I’d only be hurting my points, which I don’t care much about anyways. Although, yes, Catarina is Aerin! This is an alter-account for fun. I told everyone back when I created it, but when everyone forgot, I pranked some of my friends! The responses were...awesome. P...

Reply

22:37 Nov 07, 2020

Hi Aerin. Not to be rude or anything but I think, well, i think we shouldn't make haux accounts? you don't have to a agree just my opinion. only because then everyone would make them (Remember that trend almond milk started?) and then they might take advantage of them by saying rude comments to other people not knowing who they really are and maybe upvote themselves...

Reply

12:48 Nov 10, 2020

Well I mean, they’re fun and I don’t really do anything in them. I created a couple accounts just because it was fun to have different identities a couple months ago, and even posted a story on one of them, but now I don’t even touch them. And I wouldn't upvote myself for the same reason I think others shouldn’t upvote myself: why waste time on pointless things? Besides, worse case scenario, I DID upvote myself, which wouldn’t even outweighs the downvoter that has taken more points from me than most people have. But I wouldn’t upvote myself ...

Reply

06:02 Nov 12, 2020

Lol true

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
B. W.
04:17 Nov 08, 2020

What trend? I thought it was only Almond milk who had done that

Reply

05:48 Nov 08, 2020

No quite a few people did including my friend

Reply

B. W.
05:53 Nov 08, 2020

oh

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Emma Sunshine
19:02 Nov 13, 2020

I agree completely with you, Rachel. Backup accounts should not be in existence because they could be used to the main person's advantage.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 3 replies
Show 1 reply
B. W.
02:27 Nov 05, 2020

I'm just also here because i stumbled across it and she's one of my best friends on here, so uh, hello there :/ Like I said, she and some others on here are some of my best friends on here and I've known each of them for quite a while, trust me on this when I say Aerin and some of the others wouldn't be the down-voter or down-voters or just anything like that. She's already explained the best she could, but I'm just saying a few other stuff without going into full detail because I suck at explaining things. She had also been getting down-vot...

Reply

Emma Sunshine
04:26 Nov 05, 2020

Thank you for responding. I am sorry for accusing you in the first place. I'm trying to find the downvoter and hoping that they will come clean. Sorry again for accusing you.

Reply

B. W.
10:45 Nov 07, 2020

Hey, this is kinda random but i was wondering if ya could check out some of my stories and leave feedback/critique on them? I'd love to see what ya have to say for them

Reply

Emma Sunshine
17:02 Nov 07, 2020

Of course.

Reply

B. W.
17:13 Nov 07, 2020

thanks

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Amaya .
23:27 Nov 03, 2020

Aerin I'm so happy you finally finally posted a story! Things that stood out to me about this story: - the descriptions. I was so so impressed, they were really good! - it had a really really good flow. Your stories always have a good flow, but for some reason it was much better this time I also just loved the plot in general, it was great. I like the ending, and there was actually a lot of action?! I don't get why you thought it was low action. YES I WANT A SPINOFFFFF favorite character: Alora, probably. I like how she's very ...

Reply

23:32 Nov 03, 2020

Aw thanks!! Thanks so much! I’ve been working on my descriptions because that was my weak point, and I must say, poetry helps with imagery, lol. Thank you! HEHEHEHE MAYBEEEEEEEE Ooh, oki, noice! Thanks! Yep! I think I mentioned it several times but maybe I should make it more clear. Alora, Mollie and Zadie are all close friends, although they have different relationships: Mollie and Zadie are best friends, Zadie and Alora are reeeeeally close twins, and Alora and Mollie are close friends. Thanksss for commenting!

Reply

Amaya .
01:56 Nov 04, 2020

have you been doing a lot of poetry? or have you been reading it?

Reply

01:58 Nov 04, 2020

Both! A month ago I joined AllPoetry, so I’ve been writing and reading a lot of poetry.

Reply

Amaya .
02:00 Nov 04, 2020

ohhhh that sounds cool idk if this makes sense, but HOW do you write poetry? what do you write it in? what do you write about? how long are your poems?

Reply

02:14 Nov 04, 2020

Welll....my poetry is very random. I do freeverse, often funky-looking freeverse. Mostly nature-based. I used to think poetry had to be perfect stanzas, but nope, it can be super ramdom! Now I LOVE poetry. It’s a great way to express yourself abstracts.

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Amaya .
02:00 Nov 04, 2020

if you are comfortable ( i understand if you aren't) could you share one with me?

Reply

02:17 Nov 04, 2020

Haha, I’m comfortable! I share my poems with a site of half a million people. For example, one poem has 2.2k views and counting! Here’s the link to my AllPoetry page!: https://allpoetry.com/YoungRainbowGirl

Reply

Show 3 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Amaya .
02:01 Nov 04, 2020

same I'm so so freaked out about the election :/ I'm really nervous and scared

Reply

02:18 Nov 04, 2020

Yep yep yep...f r e a k i n g m e o u t ! Wait a second, before we continue this convo, are you for Biden or a Trumper? I thinkkkkkk I’ve guessed hehe but I dunno...

Reply

Amaya .
02:27 Nov 04, 2020

Biden :) what about you? I'm..guessing you're a Biden? was ur guess correct?

Reply

02:36 Nov 04, 2020

Yayyyyy!! Oh, HECK yeah. Yep!

Reply

Show 2 replies
03:04 Nov 04, 2020

Well, nice chatting with you! Gtg to bed, goodbye!

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Zilla Babbitt
02:32 Nov 04, 2020

Oh God aren't we all. Right now I don't even care who wins, I just want it to be over!

Reply

02:37 Nov 04, 2020

Haha, yeah. Wellllll, I’d rather this drag on for another twenty hours if Biden wins...but yeah 😂

Reply

Zilla Babbitt
02:40 Nov 04, 2020

I'm literally trying to write a story right now and I keep taking off my headphones to listen to the news. Ah well.

Reply

Show 3 replies
Show 1 reply
Amaya .
02:32 Nov 04, 2020

SAME OMG it's just so like..suspenseful ig..and the fact that we wont even know for so long ugh

Reply

02:37 Nov 04, 2020

I KNOW RIGHTTT

Reply

Show 0 replies
Zilla Babbitt
02:35 Nov 04, 2020

If it's a replay of 2000 I don't know what I'll do. It took forever for all the Florida votes to be counted, it was almost January by the time Bush got it. And they had to take it to the Supreme Court!

Reply

Show 2 replies
Show 2 replies
Amaya .
02:32 Nov 04, 2020

agree 108012937201%

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 3 replies
נιмму 🤎
17:17 Nov 05, 2020

im butting in here but wow i thought i was the only person freaking out about the election, cuz everyone else where i am seems to be going about their life like the fate of our nations isnt about to be decided

Reply

Amaya .
17:32 Nov 05, 2020

haha yeah I'm pretty stressed. NEVADA. HURRY. UP. i'm about to Nevada Kedavra this country if they don't finish counting soon.

Reply

So yeah, you HAVE met Celeste, this is a convo you had with her :D

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Amaya .
21:08 Nov 05, 2020

hey I just read ur bio and im sorry <3 i hope ur doing better now....I know that this probably doesn't help you at all but I just wanted u to know that I'm rooting for u and I love you

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
Show 3 replies
Amaya .
01:55 Nov 04, 2020

ofc! that's what I was thinking it was but I wasn't sure...maybe you could confirm it somewhere? Although idk how you would be able to do that so....yeah idk. <3

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 3 replies
Show 1 reply
. .
23:52 Nov 03, 2020

Wow! This is written so incredibly detailed and the vocabulary is written to its number one best. I love how engaging this is I was instantly hooked at the start. I love Zadie's personality it was written so beautifully! -El

Reply

00:32 Nov 04, 2020

Wow, thanks so much, El!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Regina Perry
23:53 Nov 03, 2020

Aerin, I'm so glad you finally wrote another story! I love it!!! The character development is superb! You did a great job of letting on that it was her dream and not Alora's even though Zadie didn't know it yet. I loved the ending- how she was planning on letting her sister win and the whole time, Alora was planning the same thing. How do you come up with all the creative place and people names? I'd love to read a spinoff of this. This story is definitely NOT trash. Don't let yourself think it is for even one second. Here are a few techn...

Reply

00:32 Nov 04, 2020

Thank youuu!! Aw, thanks so much! Hehe, it’s because I’m very weird and regular names are boring 😋 Lol thanks! Maybe, hehe...thanksssss!! Ooh! Ooh! Thanks for all that! Just corrected em’ all. Thanks for commenting!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
☆ Adrienne ☆
00:52 Nov 04, 2020

That ending was perfect. You created an EXTRAORDINARY world here. Love the names, too, and Alora sounds so amazing. Well done! I'd love a spinoff on this, assuming you don't disappear again! :)

Reply

00:55 Nov 04, 2020

Thanks! Aw, thanks so much! Alora was originally Ilara, but I found Alora on a name list so I changed it. Haha, well, I won’t disappear, but this might be my only story this month 😂😅😑 Thanks for commenting!

Reply

☆ Adrienne ☆
01:18 Nov 04, 2020

Ilora and Alora are both beautiful. That's too bad! It's alright, though, I'm happy with this for my birthday :)

Reply

01:32 Nov 04, 2020

Hehe, thanks. Well I mean...who knows? Maybe I’ll LOVE a prompt. Aw, flattered :D

Reply

☆ Adrienne ☆
01:32 Nov 04, 2020

I'll keep my fingers crossed. ;)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
23:19 Nov 03, 2020

I know you probably would have wanted more stuff to be said for this story, though I just think that it was great and I'm glad ya posted again ^^ its as great as all your stories and ill give it a 10/10 :)

Reply

23:33 Nov 03, 2020

Thank youuu!

Reply

B. W.
23:38 Nov 03, 2020

No problem ^^ how did ya ever come up with the idea for the story?

Reply

23:45 Nov 03, 2020

Hmmm...I dunno. I had just finished reading an awesome novel, so that inspired me to write twins on and island, but I came up with the acyual characters, the plot, and of course, the content.

Reply

Regina Perry
23:59 Nov 03, 2020

Twins on an Island? Hmm... The novel wasn't part of the Unwanteds series by any chance, was it?

Reply

00:28 Nov 04, 2020

Lol, no, the book was ‘Crown of Coral and Pearl’. It’s an AMAZING YA, totally recommend!

Reply

Show 2 replies
B. W.
00:05 Nov 04, 2020

I never heard of that, but maybe?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
B. W.
00:08 Nov 04, 2020

Hm, could ya maybe help me with something?

Reply

00:28 Nov 04, 2020

Sure, what?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
03:07 Nov 21, 2020

I loved the story and the emotion that goes with it. This story is super well written and has nice descriptions. Great job!

Reply

20:59 Nov 23, 2020

Also congrats on over 20000 Karma points, 1000 followers, 21 stories and more!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Niveeidha Palani
09:02 Nov 18, 2020

Hi Aerin, I've commented twice over here, I believe. Just wanted to check, have your stories been getting approved again?

Reply

Alas, no.

Reply

Niveeidha Palani
21:53 Nov 18, 2020

Ah, that's sad. :(

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
16:09 Nov 05, 2020

Aerin, Aerin! You'll have to update your notice board, because you just hit 1000 followers!!! Congratulations, you deserve it! ;)

Reply

17:00 Nov 05, 2020

Hiyaaaa! Woah, I just saw!! Thanksss!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
20:16 Nov 04, 2020

Hi, Aerin! I am SO happy that you posted a new story! Just like your other stories that I have read, this story was absolutely beautiful. Your writing style just amazes me to the bone. I was semi-expecting the end, but it still shocked me when it came down to it. This short story definitely isn't trash, and you should never think that about your stories. I really hope I can read more of your writing soon! -Brooke D. P.S. Thanks for liking my new story!

Reply

23:42 Nov 04, 2020

Hi, Brooke! Aw, thankssss!! Wowow, thanks so much for that lovely commenting!!! ~ A P. S. My pleasure! P. S. S. WHY WAS THAT COMMENT AT 0?! A lot of the ones on this story are...I think the downvoter hit my whole comment section 😔

Reply

23:44 Nov 04, 2020

You are so welcome! You deserve it! Oh, my gosh! Aerin, you don't deserve that! I am seriously going to go up-vote every single one of your comments on your stories. Right now. You deserve THAT.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Tessa Takzikab
17:51 Nov 04, 2020

This is such a great story! I love the way you made Zadie and Alora both working for each other, and I love the way Zadie thinks Alora is the oblivious one when she doesn't realize that Alora is planning on doing the same for her. I only wonder if maybe Mollie knew both sisters were planning this. I did notice two typos while I was reading it: She closer to me than the clothes I’m wearing.- I think you mean she is closer? She squeezes me shoulders, a tear slipping down her cheek. -me should be my. Keep writing!

Reply

23:39 Nov 04, 2020

Aw, thanks so much!!! Hehe, I bet Mollie did.... Oh, thanks for finding those! I’ll correct them! Thanks!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
08:54 Nov 04, 2020

**has starry eyes** I'm not really sure where to begin. This story was amazing! I loved the characters, especially their names, (Zadie and Alora r cool names, no one can change my mind) and personalities. I also love the dynamics between the sisters and their friend Mollie, and I love how their fate of seeing the world relies on a running race. (Funnily enough, before I read this I started another story and it's also about a running race, but it's a matter of life and death **cue dramatic music**) This is the first story I've read by you,...

Reply

13:05 Nov 04, 2020

**Has wide eyes cuz dats a bit compliment** THANK YOUUU! Lol, one thing you should know about me is that I always choose really weird names 😂 Thanksthanksthankssssss for all of that! (Ooh, noice! **cues ballet music then randomly starts doing ballet even though she can’t dance worth her life***) Aw, thank you! Lolll, actually, my second on the leaderboard is probably half due to all my friends and upvoting. B.W., Rhondalise, Amany, Vayd, and Adrienne (all top ten at the moment) are all my close friends so we all upvote eachother!! But THA...

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Zilla Babbitt
16:19 Nov 05, 2020

1,001 followers, congrats!

Reply

Thanksthanksthanks! I don’t...even...understand how this happened. Thx for dropping by 😝

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
19:15 Nov 04, 2020

AERINNNNNNN!!!!!!! I have really missed reading your stories!!!!! This was a masterpiece and I lovvvvee the name Alora!! The bond you created between Zadie and Alora was just *chef's kiss* amazing!

Reply

SUHANNNNNNI!!!!! Aw, thanks so much!!!!! Thankyouthankyouthankyouuu! P. S. WHY WAS THAT COMMENT AT 0?!

Reply

01:41 Nov 05, 2020

It was???? Hmm....idk...anonymous downvoter again??? 🙄those downvoters really need to stop.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
☆ Adrienne ☆
20:59 Dec 02, 2020

Your bio is the funniest thing ever. Oh my goodness, I cracked up at least four times. My family gave me a strange look then decided I wasn't worth their attention and proceeded to carry on their business. So. Oh, before I forget: 🍌 I'm very tempted to call that number in your bio and have a serial killer after me. I can so see myself befriending him/her and becoming his/her accomplice. That'll be loads of fun, don't you think?

Reply

Omg thanks so much! Lol, I giggled a bit while writing it. Thankssss :D NOICE! Haha! Yup. If you dooooo tell me how it goes 🤭🤪😋

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
02:39 Nov 17, 2020

Aerin! Help! Where did you get your fonts! I can't change mine!!

Reply

Wait wut?! Didn’t you have fonts at first?! Oh no! But here’s where I get my fonts: https://coolsymbol.com/cool-fancy-text-generator.html

Reply

02:45 Nov 17, 2020

Okay, thank you so much!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Zilla Babbitt
01:04 Nov 04, 2020

Well done. You invite me into this world of sand and sea and poverty, and show me the intensity of the running scenes without force-feeding it to me. I love the ending. This could honestly go under the "life or death stakes" one too. Janak's age changes from nineteen to seventeen. I think it would be good if you detailed Zadie's plan from the beginning, or closer to the middle. I have a hard time reading some of your sentences, and I've figured out why. You sprinkle in a massive amount of big, vivid adjectives - three in this one "I shake...

Reply

Thank you so muchhhh! Oh, oops, fixed that, thanks! Oooooof, that sentence really IS tricky. Thanks for posting that outtt! Aw, thanks, lol. Yeah, I just freakin’ wish I knew who the downvoter WAS...or at least their drive. Seriously, what’s the motive for wasting time downvoting? I dunno. Anyways, thanksss for commenting! You too!

Reply

Zilla Babbitt
02:34 Nov 04, 2020

Hey, no problem! No idea. A while ago, some said that they were being downvoted at the same time... which indicates two or more. I have lost a few dozen points each day, never too much to make a difference, and I always get them back, but it's still petty.

Reply

Ohhh, I didn’t even think it could be a GROUP.... Oh, I didn’t know you were downvoted too! I guess I always thought the downvoter supported you, because they always seemed to downvote me and upvote you anytime I neared 1st place, but I guess it was just the sucky dowmvoter and some kind soul. My downvoting is...on-and-off. Instead of losing a bit daily, I’ll have steady points than BAM! Adios kudos, hundreds of points. Yep, VERRRRY petty.

Reply

Zilla Babbitt
02:41 Nov 04, 2020

Yeah, a lot of people are. I've lost 200 points at one time once, but it's mostly tiny chunks that repair themselves by the end of the day.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Keerththan 😀
09:04 Nov 28, 2020

Oh, awesome story! I liked the race kinda thing. And I kinda wonder about the physique. You can't run around the island easily lol. I loved the names and all the characters. You have finaaaaallllly possssssteeeedddd. Great work. The final twist wasn't very unbelievable or crazy. It was awesome! Amazingly done. Keep writing. Would you mind reading my new story "The childish dream?"

Reply

Thanks! Haha, well, it’s a tiny island. Sure, will do later!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Amaya .
00:27 Nov 17, 2020

how are your cq sales going? oh, and, you said you were a contortionist? Thats so cool, seriously, especially coming from someone who can't even lift her leg 90 degrees i love ur new biooooo its really nice and surprisingly un-colorful. u should check my bio out too :) oh btw I'm biblio_phile, in case you haven't figured that out. I mean, you know me as Amaya after all. okay wait so now we have finally gotten to the reason why i came here. usually i just come here for fun, but today i have a reason lol. I'm starting a novella and i...

Reply

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Basically, I wrote and entire response to that but wasn’t ready to send the message (I needed to add a link). So I kept this tab open and went to Forms. I just returned and my entire message is GONE. Well, dang. I have to go for now, so I’ll reply again later, but for now, a quick response to the last question: Oooh yay! A Novella! NOICE! A lot of people have come to me for advice (I’m so honored as literally everyone on this website is a write), sooo I’ve actually made a quiz about it a month or two ago. I...

Reply

Amaya .
01:19 Nov 17, 2020

OMG NOOO I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS *shakes head* poor Aerin thanks for the quizzzzz aw yay thanks for replying later! (a thanks in advance? I don't really know how this sentence would work but anyway whatever)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply