Liar's Dice

“That’s the last time we’re playing Candy Land for Adults!” Sheila said. “I am officially banning it from any future Halloween parties!”

“What do you mean, hon?” Lucas asked. “You didn’t get a kick out of Cough Drop Canopy, Viagra Village, and Menopause Mountains?”

“Whoever made this variant is a hack,” Sheila said. She pushed the board game aside.

“What else do you guys want to play?” Viv asked. “Your house, your pick.”

“You know,” Lucas said as he got up from the table, “I’ve got something we can end the night with. Sit tight!”

He walked up the stairs leading out of the basement. The shackles on his orange inmate costume rattled on the floor.

“By the way,” Sheila said, “that flight attendant costume looks so hot on you! I think you might be the only woman that’s ever looked better when she’s pregnant.”

Viv smiled. “And your Wicked Witch of the West costume looks super ugly!”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Sheila said.

She glanced at the copy of Candy Land for Adults. Her lips curled into a frown.

“Speaking of Menopause Mountains,” she said, “I never thought it would be this hard to conceive. I’m not even 40 yet. Lucas and I have tried everything.”

“Don’t worry,” Viv said. “It’s going to happen.”

“I told him that he was taking a risk marrying me,” Sheila said. “He said that our age gap was just a number.”

She wondered if he still believed that years later. She took a sip from her glass of pumpkin shandy.

“When are you due?” she asked.

“February,” Viv said. “Claus and I couldn’t be more excited.”

“It’s a shame he couldn’t make it tonight,” Sheila said. “You two might be out trick-or-treating in a few years with the baby! Then you won’t be able to come to our Halloween parties anymore!”

Lucas walked back in with a leather box in his hands. He opened it and took out a set of dice and three cups.

“Remember when we took that trip to Peru?” he asked. “I picked this up from a street vendor when we were in Cusco. The Incas called it Dudo. Now it’s called Liar’s Dice.”

“How do you play?” Viv asked.

“It’s simple enough,” Lucas said. “Each player starts with five dice and a cup. We roll them and keep them hidden from each other. Then, the first player bids on how many dice of a certain value are showing among all of the players, at a minimum. A bid of ‘four twos’ means that among the three of us, there are at least four dice showing a two or an ace, which is wild.

“The next player can either raise or say ‘dudo.’ If a player raises, he can increase the quantity of the dice, the die number, or both. If he calls ‘dudo,’ then we reveal our dice and see if the current bid is correct. Whoever is wrong loses a die.”

“So if the current bet is ‘five threes,’ you can either bet ‘six threes’ or ‘five fours?’” Sheila asked.

“Exactly,” Lucas said. “Let’s get started. It’ll be easier to explain when we’re playing.”

He divvied up the dice into the cups and gave one each to Sheila and Viv. They all shook the cups and laid them upside-down on the table.

“I’ll start,” Lucas said. “Two twos.”

“Four twos,” Viv said.

“Five twos,” Sheila said.

Lucas peeked under his cup. “Five sixes.”

“Six sixes,” Viv said.

“Seven sixes,” Sheila said.

“Dudo,” Viv said.

They revealed their dice.

“Damn it!” Sheila said. “I was one short!”

She threw a die away.

“I’ll go first this time,” Viv said. “Two twos.”

“Four twos,” Sheila said.

“Let’s make this interesting,” Lucas said. “Seven twos.”

“Nine twos,” Viv said.

“Dudo,” Sheila said. “One, two, three… no way! That’s nine exactly!”

She took another die and put it in the leather case.

“At this rate,” she said, “I’m going to be the only-”

She glanced across the table. A pit formed in her stomach. Her mouth opened in shock.

“SHIT!” She fell back in her chair. Her dice went flying. The cup bounced off of the table and onto the floor. Her witch’s hat fell off of her head.

“What is it?” Lucas asked.

“You guys didn’t see that?” Sheila said. “It was… some kind of creature. It had these big horns sticking out of its head and it… it was wearing a black mask. Like some sort of tribal mask that the Incas wore…”

A group of trick-or-treaters rang the doorbell. Nobody around the table moved.

“Babe,” Lucas said, “I think it’s time you went upstairs to bed.”

“I did not imagine that,” she snapped. “I saw what I saw.”

“There’s nothing here,” he said. “It’s just us.”

Nobody said anything for what felt like several minutes.

“Do you want me to put the game away?” Viv asked. “I should be getting home pretty soon.”

“No, it’s fine. Let’s keep playing,” Sheila said. “Two twos.”

“Three twos,” Lucas said.

“Three threes,” Viv said.

“Four threes,” Sheila said.

Lucas inhaled and looked under his cup. “Five threes,”

“Dudo,” Sheila said. “YES! You lose one.”

“Now you’re getting the hang of it.” He removed one of his dice.

“Stop that,” Sheila said.

“Stop what?” Lucas said.

“You’re touching my foot under the table,” Sheila said.

“No, I’m not,” Lucas said.

She crossed her arms. Her eyebrows raised to the ceiling. Lucas threw his hands up.

“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said.

“Maybe it was a ghost!” Viv said. “Or a mask-wearing demon!”

She smirked. Sheila scowled at her.

“I guess it’s my turn,” Lucas said. “One two.”

“Two twos,” Viv said.

“Three twos,” Sheila said.

“Three threes,” Lucas said.

“Three sixes,” Viv said.

“Four sixes,” Sheila said.

Lucas rubbed his chin. His brow slanted as he stared at his wife.

“Dudo,” he said. They revealed their dice.

“Seriously,” Sheila said. “You guys are too good at this game.”

CLANK… CLANK… CLANK…

This time, everybody looked up from the game. It sounded like somebody was smacking a bucket on the ground. The noise came from the floor above them.

“Okay. Now I know that I’m not going crazy,” Sheila said. “You guys definitely heard that.”

The clanking sound continued. Sheila bit down on her fingers. She felt as if a spider was crawling down her spine.

“We’re not alone,” Lucas said.

“I should get going,” Viv said. She tried to push herself out of her chair. Her body remained in place.

“What the…”

Her face scrunched as she tried to heave herself up.

“Guys, I’m stuck!” Viv said. “I can’t move!”

“Fuck!” Lucas said. “Me too! It’s like my back is glued to the chair or something!”

Nobody could get up or move their chairs around. They were frozen in place.

“Shit!” Lucas said. “How is this happening?”

“Do you think it has something to do with the game?” Sheila asked. “Let me see the case.”

Lucas passed it over to her. She ran her fingers across the leather. Her nose wrinkled as she inhaled its musty scent.

“Oh my God…” she whispered.

“What is it?” Lucas asked.

She set the case down. Her face would have turned white had it not been for the green facial paint she had on.

“Supay,” she said. “It’s the word for demon in Quechua. Somebody etched it onto the case. The game is cursed.”

Viv gasped. Lucas buried his face in his hands.

“Holy shit,” he said. “I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.”

“Babe, there’s no way you could’ve known,” Sheila said.

“Do you… do you think we have to keep playing?” Viv said. “That might be the only way to break the curse…”

Nobody responded. Instead, they put their dice into their cups, shook them, and flipped them onto the table.

“Two fours,” Viv said.

“Four fours,” Sheila said.

“Six fours,” Lucas said.

Viv cleared her throat. “Six sixes.”

“Dudo,” Sheila said. “You’re one short.”

Viv shot her a look of hatred as she removed a die. Then her mouth opened in a perfect O shape. Terror blanketed her face as the demons reappeared. They were dressed in all the colors of the rainbow. Each wore a mask.

“Holy shit… I can see them now,” she whispered. “One of them is wearing a yellow tunic or something… and it has this huge red mask.”

“Fuck… me too,” Lucas said. His head swiveled around. “They’re dancing around the table. It’s like they’re waiting for one of us to lose…”

Sheila’s hands dampened with sweat. The cup felt slick as she set it on the table.

“Two threes,” she said.

“Four threes,” Lucas said.

“Five threes,” Viv said.

Sweat poured off of Sheila’s face. Her voice hitched.

“Six threes,” she said.

“Dudo,” Viv said.

They revealed their dice.

“Oh no… oh no oh no oh no…” Sheila said. “This can’t be happening.”

Her hand shook as she took a die and put it in the box.

“I’ve only got one left,” she said. “What do you think will happen when… oh no…”

She noticed something on the leather case that she hadn’t seen before. The symbolism couldn’t have been more direct.

It was a skull sitting atop two bones.

Her stomach sank to the bottom of her chest. Molten panic flowed out from her heart and through the rest of her body. She cursed her inability to have children. Now, she knew that she may never have another shot.

“The loser dies,” she said.

The basement became as quiet as a graveyard, broken only by the sound of dice being shook.

One five… two fives… three sixes…

The game went on. Sheila couldn’t explain it, but the prospect of imminent death kicked all of her senses into overdrive. It was as if she had developed a kind of telepathy and could tell exactly when Lucas and Viv were bluffing. She went on a streak and won the next six games. Each player had a single die remaining.

“What do we do?” Sheila asked. “We’re all on our honor now.”

Lucas took a deep breath. He ran his hands through his hair.

“Look… I suggested that we play this game. This is my fault. I can’t let anything happen to you guys. I’ll throw the next game and let the demons take me.”

“NO! YOU CAN’T!” Sheila said.

“Babe, this is the only way. Viv’s pregnant, and there’s no way in hell I’m letting you die.”

Tears broke free from Sheila’s eyes. She knew that his mind was made up. It wouldn’t matter if she said that she had seven twos. He would never call her on it. The game would just go on forever.

“Viv, what do you have?” Lucas asked.

“I’ve got an ace,” she said.

“What about you, Sheila?” he asked.

She shook her head. The demons seemed to close in around the table. “Babe… you can’t do this…”

“It’s okay,” he said. “What did you roll?”

“An ace,” she said.

“Okay,” Lucas said. “Three sixes, then. Call ‘dudo’ on me, Sheila. I rolled a two.”

She looked at her husband in his orange inmate costume. His face looked like he was an actual criminal condemned to death row.

“I love you,” she said. “Dudo.”

For the last time, the dice were revealed.

Sheila showed an ace.

Viv showed an ace.

Lucas showed an ace.

“Oops,” he said. A smirk stretched across his face. “You lost, Sheila.”

The demons stopped dancing. All of them looked at Sheila. Her chair moved by itself out of the table. She pounded against the armrests.

“Lucas! Why did… you lied to me! I love you!”

Even though he and Viv could stand up from their chairs now, neither made a move to help her.

“I knew that this game was cursed,” he said. “Viv and I planned the whole thing out. We didn’t call ‘dudo’ on each other. And whenever I told the truth, I kicked her under the table so she would know and vice versa.”

A demon in all white stepped forward. It removed its mask and opened its mouth, showing row after row of teeth.

Sheila screamed. Her bladder loosened. A warm trickle went down her legs.

“WHY? WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?” she said.

“You know exactly why,” Lucas said. “You had one job as a woman, and you couldn’t do it. All I wanted was a baby, and you couldn’t pop one out. So, now I’m replacing you!”

The demon’s mouth grew to the size of a trashcan lid. It engulfed Sheila’s head.

“One last thing,” Viv said. “Didn’t you ever wonder why you’ve never met Claus after all this time? He doesn’t exist. Well… actually he does. All you have to do is rearrange the letters.”

“And you get my name,” Lucas said.

CRUNCH

“Ding dong, the witch is dead!” Viv said.