Beers at Breckenridge

“It’s time we do it.”

I look at the face my phone. It’s Steve Mansfield at 6:00 AM.

“I haven’t heard from you in four years, and you call me at six in the morning?”

“Sorry, didn’t account for the time zone. Living out east these days. It’s 9:00 here, Davie.”

“I go by David know,” I tell him as I roll over and put my feet on the floor and push the hair from my eyes.

“Well, David, your mom told my mom you just graduated from Oregon State University. It’s time. I already talked to Bobby. He’s excited to see us again.”

“Time for what, Steve?”

“Camping and beers up on Breckenridge, where we used to ride our bikes to hangout all day long as kids. We said that when we all got out of college, we’d all gather back there no matter where we were at for camping and beers.”

“That was Nate’s idea. We were just kids then, talking big. I think we’re off the hook.”

“I think it being Nate’s idea gives us more reason to go through with it, don’t you? Besides, I don’t feel like I’m on any proverbial hook. I miss you guys. It has been a long time.”

“Bobby’s in?”

“Bobby’s in.”

“Alright, just text me the details,” I sigh and hang up without a goodbye.

 It’s hard to lose a friend. Even harder to lose a friend at a young age. Devastating when you know it’s your fault he died. It was a quadruple dog dare that we all tell our parents that we were staying the night at Stevie’s when actually we were staying the night at the abandoned house on Melrose Ln. It had its reputation of being haunted, but Bobby assured us that the only danger there was the condition of the house. If we were careful, we’d be fine. He said he knew this because his sister used to go party in there with her friends. She said it’s all about knowing where to go, and where not to go. I wasn’t about to be considered a wuss, so I was instantly in. Nathan on the other hand; he was younger than the rest of us and you could tell that he was scared, but after all the teasing and taunting he was in, not knowing it would be his last night alive. We were just stupid kids. Our ages varied from ten to twelve. We were doing what stupid kids do. Stevie said it was possible to light a fart on fire. I didn’t believe him. He and Bobby tried explaining the science behind it, but it sounded like a hoax, a way to get me to drop my drawers, but Bobby insisted he’d do the farting and Stevie would do the lighting just to prove it to me. Well, needless to say, preteen boys are not the best at paying attention to their surroundings. That little puff of fire hit a dusty, crusty curtain and it went up like a birthday candle on Satan’s birthday. We all got out except Nathan. To this day I wonder what happened, why he didn’t make it out.

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`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````Breckenridge was a hillside cliff that overlooked the town of Oakville where at night teenagers would park to do the things we were just starting to learn about - mainly sex, drugs, and alcohol. During the day, however, it was a peaceful place for boys to ride their bikes, wrestle, fight with sticks, talk about girls, try that first beer they found left over from the previous night, smoke a cigarette where no one would bust you – preteen shenanigans.

When we pulled up, nature had started to take over. Even while we were in high school no one bothered going up there. Parents had started getting laxer about teens and sex around then. It now had a park-like setting now that the trash is gone, and the signs of traffic have faded away. The leaves are changing colors, browns, yellows, reds, oranges, and even a tint of purple can be seen. The air is fresh, like rain came through and knocked all the dust and pollutants to the ground, but it is dry without a hint of moisture on the light warm breeze. It’s late afternoon, and the town is alive, but up here, not a whisper reaches my ears.

“A lot nicer than the way we left it, huh Dave,” Bobby says as he hands me a cold one and gives me a big hug.

“Much more serene, Bobby. How are you? I haven’t heard boo about you since graduation.”

“I skipped college, much to my mother’s displeasure. Joined the union. Became a linesman. I’m on the road a lot, make six digits, spend five on beer and cigarettes, and couldn’t be happier,” he says with a little belch, signifying he’s already three deep into a six-pack.

“Couldn’t be crazier you mean. No way you’d get me up one of those towers,” Steve says as he sets down the cooler and grabs one for himself. “Remember when he got us out of that calculus test, the one we forgot to study for, by going to the roof naked and telling people he was the nipplebird and was going to fly,” Steve asks, and we burst into laughter.

“How about you, Steve, what have you been doing,” I ask, since we’re on the topic.

“Financial planning. I’m just starting to see the dollars roll in. It keeps me busy, but it pays for a nice life. What about you, David? Anything opening up yet?”

“There’s not much for a music major in Oregon. I’m thinking about moving to New York or LA, see what I can find. Right now, I’m tending bar. I wonder what Nate would be pursuing if he was still with us.”

“Let’s get this camp set up. I’ve got some porterhouses and potatoes for us to cook up with some beans when we’re done,” Bobby says.

The topic of Nate was something we could never bring ourselves to talk about. I’m not sure which one of us feels guiltier that he died. We all went through therapy as kids, but I think all three of us pushed it down and convinced ourselves it never happened. Talking about it would be like admitting it did happen, that we killed our childhood friend. Worst of all it was the little one who looked up to the rest of us and we should have been watching out for him.

So, we got the tents set up, the fire pit built, and food cooked just as the sun retired behind the horizon. We ate. We drank. We told stories and we laughed. It was like old times until a young boy about the age of ten approaches us out of the shadows.

“Are you lost, kid,” I ask him as he saunters forward.

“No, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, Davie,” the boy says as he steps into the light of the fire. “Hi, Bobby. Hi, Stevie.”

I jump up and drop my plate at the sight of a ten-year-old Nate. Stevie falls backwards, and Bobby keeps eating. “Hey, little dude,” he says.

“Bobby! Don’t you see? That’s fucking Nathan,” I say in disbelief.

“Oh yeah, I see the resemblance,” Bobby chuckles as he takes another chug of beer.

“No, Bobby, it’s me, Nathan. I thought this would be worth… materializing for.”

“What does that mean, materializing,” Steve asks as he picks up his chair and sits back down. I’m still standing.

“When we die, our life’s energy, what most people refer to as a soul, is released; free to roam the universe.”

“So, there’s no heaven or hell,” Bobby asked, having given up on utensils and is eating that steak savage style. I lean into the cooler and grab my bottle of Crown Royal.

“Not really. Heaven is getting to exist and explore the universe. Hell… well, we can be destroyed by fire.”

“Does that mean that God and the devil aren’t real,” Steve asks, reaching for my bottle without taking his eyes off Nate.

“Absolutely not! I’ve seen God. God is the center of the universe. Bright white light pulsating energy into the universe, setting everything in motion, keeping everything in motion, creating. The devil is a source of negative energy that has an influence over the actions of humans. The two aren’t even comparable.”

I snatch my bottle back from Steve and take a long, hard swig. Nathan is sitting on the other side of the fire with his legs crossed. He looks so… so… like the way I last saw him. I’m waiting for him to propose a trade for my Kobe Bryant rookie card.

“If there is a God, why do bad things happen to good people,” Bobby asks with a mouth full of potato.

“For every action there is a positive or negative reaction. When God put things in motion, some positive things happened and some negative things happened, but all things are necessary because you can’t have positive without negative, whether on a grand scale like creation or on a small scale like a ten-year-old boy burning alive in an abandoned house.”

“About that,” I say, finally finding my tongue, “what happened that night? Why didn’t you make it out.”

“Floorboard broke. My leg went straight through. I was stuck. Didn’t you hear me calling for you, screaming at the top of my lungs?”

 “I didn’t hear you until we were outside. Then… then the heat, the heat was like an invisible force pushing me back. And I was scared,” I told him.

“We all were, Nate, we were terrified,” Bobby tells him, finally done with his meal, setting his plate on the ground and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“You must have been. Not one of you looked over your shoulder to see if we were all together. But hey, at least Davie now knows you can light a fart. Check this out Davie,” and he stands up to rip one in my direction. Instead of a little poof of flame, the whole fire came roaring at me. I jumped to my left and knocked over Steve to avoid getting consumed by the flames, but my tent did not fare as well.

“Jesus, Nathan, don’t be playing around like that. You of all people know what can happen,” Bobby says, rising from his chair.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you think I have forgotten. That I have forgotten the feeling of my clothes melting into my skin, the smell of my own flesh wafting up through my nose, the sound of my hair sizzling. They say you go unconscious, but you’re still very aware of the sensation of your eyeballs popping!”

“Look,” I say, getting his attention as I climb to my feet, “I can’t imagine what you went through, but…”

With one flick of his wrist the fire shot at us again. This time I went right, but Steve was just getting to his feet. His screams took me back to that night, standing on the lawn, listening to Nathan cry out in agony. I didn’t know what to do then and I don’t know what to do now. When Steve dropped and rolled, I grabbed the sleeping bag from his tent and got the fire out. He was unrecognizable, he was burnt so bad. Nothing but blood and char, his eyelids singed off.

“He would be better off dead, boys. I told you what happens when we die. All you are doing is prolonging his suffering, which is fine by me. All I want is for you three to suffer the way I suffered,” Nathan says as he waves fire towards Bobby.

Bobby’s hit and takes off in a frenzy. He doesn’t know where he is at or where he is going. I chased him with the sleeping bag, hoping to knock him to the ground and put the fire out. I keep yelling for him so he will hear me and head my way, but before I can get to him, he runs off the cliff, and I can hear his bones shatter on the rocks below.

Nathan is laughing a deep, wicked laugh that has him bent over. I’m furious and charge Nathan head on, throwing the sleeping bag on top of him and tackling him into the flames. I figure if I have to go, he’s coming with me. We tussle and fight through the sleeping bag as the fire’s flames lick up all around us.

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`````````````Buzz.

I wake up and stop thrashing at my comforter. Steve’s text just came through.

I text him back: “If we are really going to do this, I really need to open up and talk about Nate.”