203 comments

Funny Drama Fantasy

Nobody ever tells you about the awful secret agents.


I mean, movies and books have painted this image that secret agents are these super-cool spies with fancy constumes, ninja moves, and the perfect luck. Well, bad stuff is thrown their way, but they look heroic and beat the challenge, then BOOM! Successful agent.


Seriously, though, have you ever watched a movie about a screw-up spy? 


Maybe I’m just rambling. Maybe all secret agents are these über cool people that fight crime in a neat outfit. Maybe most really are amazing spies.


Not me.


My name is Trig Atkinson, and I’m a twenty-year-old secret agent who’s a hot mess. I live in the bustling United City, where there are plenty of times I should sport my ‘cool outfit’ (cough, black raincoat and my little sister’s combat boots, cough) and go bust some bad guys.


Instead, I sport my PJs as I go to the gym at two A.M.


*


Bump-ba-da-ba-bump-bump-bump!


My phone cheerfully sings my texting ringtone as I continue jogging on the treadmill at United Gym. The ringtone is called ‘typewriters’—reminding me of my dream to become a journalist.


Alas, I have nothing interesting to write about. The only reason I joined the United Spies was to witness something worth taking to a publisher.


Double alas, life hates me and the most interesting thing I’ve seen as a spy is an orange watermelon at my Nana’s house (hey, secret agents need to have breaks, too!).


I sigh and snatch up my phone. The harsh lights of the gym hammer against my eyes as I check my texts:


ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ɢʀᴀʙ ɪᴄᴇ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴀᴛ ᴜɴɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴍᴇʀs?


It’s Kokika, my hilarious friend who’s my partner in late-night ice cream visits.


I sigh again. I sigh too much but hey, sighing was invented for a reason. Life is worthy of sighs.


My fingers hover above my keyboard as I silently reply in my head:


ᴏʜ ᴍʏ ғʀᴇᴀᴋɪɴ’ ɢᴏᴅ, ʏᴇsssss! ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ 𝟸 ᴀ.ᴍ. ɪᴄᴇ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴍ!


Instead, I type out:


sᴏʀʀʏ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴡᴇ’ᴠᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ɪᴛ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴅᴀʏ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀsᴛ ᴡᴇᴇᴋ. ʜᴏᴡ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ, sᴛᴀʀᴛɪɴɢ ɴᴏᴡ, ᴡᴇ ɢᴇᴛ ɪᴄᴇ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴀs ᴄᴇʟᴇʙʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ, ɪɴsᴛᴇᴀᴅ ᴏғ ᴀs ᴀ sɴᴀᴄᴋ?


Ugh. I hate being responsible for my sugar intake.


My brow is slick with sweat. My non-existent muscles are screaming at me. I did ten push-ups before I ran on the treadmill, but I’m not seeing any abs, so the gym is useless.


In my tank top, shorts, and healthy layer of salty sweat, I abandon the gym. I walk right outside and—


Typical. It’s raining. Like, a full-on downpour: the street has a coat of water at least a couple inches thick, and sheets of liquid are still pouring down from the sky. God, the sky must be really sad.


The jet-black sky forms a dome over the silent United City. There are hundreds of thousands of residents in this place, but I’m the only one crazy enough to be outside, while it's raining, at two A.M.


My eyes drops to the ground. So. Much. Water. I’m not quite ready to leave the sheltered entrance to the gym yet. No umbrella, typical. I guess I’ll have to make a run for it.


I’m about to let out a war cry and dash to my car when I notice something:


The water on the streets.


It’s not sliding towards the gutter.


Even though it’s a sharp slope down to the gutters built into the sidewalk, the water is dripping down.


Instead, all of the water is moving up.


My gaze follows the moving water, and I finally see where the rainwater going: up the United Mountain (by now, I’m sure you understand how creative the United Government is at naming things…)


A small mountain, more of a giant hill, is in the center of United City. The buildings are built around the wooded mountain, and the place is free for all to explore.


Nobody goes because god, United Mountain is freakish.


I shake my head to make sure I’m not hallucinating as I study the rainwater. Sheets of rain are still coming down, and everything that hits the ground starts retreating up the mountain.      


It’s a very, very creepy sigh. A layer of water inching up the mountain.


Where the water is going, I have no idea. The United Mountain is covered by a thick forest, so I can’t see far.


You know? I’m Agent Trig, who’s supposed to be investigating this kind of stuff. Besides, while the humid air isn’t the only thing making me sweat (gravity-defying water going up a spooky mountain at two A.M. while it’s raining? Not freaky at all….), I’m in need of an adventure.


“Agent Hot Mess reporting for duty,” I whisper under my breath as I start to twist into a runner's stance, then remember I’m going to get soaked anyway so the pose is useless. I walk into the rain and start towards the Mountain.


*


Anytime I trip, I curse then proclaim, “The ground is trying to make me fall.”


Cue the-boy-who-called-wolf (not that anybody would believe a magic ground, even if it was just said once). Kokika would always snort and say, “Suuuure.”


Now, the ground really is trying to trip me.


As I hike up the Mountain, it’s hard enough to advance as it is. The huge hill is steep and wet, so I need to hold onto trees as I make my way up.


But, of course, it gets worse.


The ground is moving.


The restless soil shifts under my feet, and I don’t mean normal squishing-in-rain. The ground is legit moving, clumps of soil sliding around on the ground, rocks changing shape as they roll down the mountain, and craters magically appearing in the mountainside.


The hill is alive with the sound of pouring….


Also, yelling. Roaring and pouring are the sounds echoing in my ears as my sweaty body continues climbing. Up ahead, I hear deep hollers.


Magic water? Check.


Moving ground? Check.


Giant roars? Check.


Need of a change of pants? Check and double check.


*


I’m almost there.


To the summit.


It’s crazy windy by now, too. I’m fighting against wind, steepness, the ground, and an insane amount of rain as I continue my ascent.


I see it! The tip of the mountain!


One, too, three more steps, and I reach the top of United Mountain.


It’s a flat space, maybe the size of half a football field. Trees surround it, and now all the elements are in on the let’s-be-magic action. The harsh, humid wind whips around me as my eyes trace the path of the fire. Flames, dancing along the trees, not stifled in the least by the downpour.


And, standing in the center of the clearing, is a water demon.


The monster could easily haunt my nightmares. The size of a small house, the figure made of water towers over me. The bottom half is just a trunk of liquid. The upper half of the beast is a muscular humanoid, its giant, chiseled face staring up into the storm.


Standing here, in the center of the mountain, my mouth falls open.


The tip of United Mountain, at three A.M., is like nowhere I’ve ever been before. The wild wind. The moving ground. The flickering flames. And, of course, the water, straight from the streets if United City, pouring into the base of the monster.


The demon gets bigger and bigger as my mind gets bigger and bigger, trying to expand to match the pace at how fast my world is growing.


Magic.


That’s what this all all.


“Magic,” I croak, my mouth dry but my body soaking as I scan my surroundings again. “How is this possible?”


WHY DID YOU JUST TALK?! my mind screams at me. 


I clasp my hands over my mouth as if to keep the words from escaping, but the damage is done.


The demon turns to me and…grins. A large, toothy grin of water, although it’s terrifying on lips the size of a bed. “Hello, young mortal.”


My next action proves how brave I am.


I black out.


*


I wake up by hacking, hacking, hacking.


I’m lying on my side, in a pool of soupy mud. Some gets in my mouth and yuck. The mud looked like melted chocolate, but it tasted like trash.


Luckily, I’m in the midest of Water Central.


I’m sweating, wetting my pants, and being rained on all at once. I turn to the one clean water source: the sky.


A minute passes as I rinse out my mouth. Then I remember the demon.


He’s right next to me, smiling again. I jump and land in the mud. “Holy Christ on a cracker!” I cry, delivering the expression that always pops out of my mouth when I’m startled.


“Hello,” the monster booms.


Big grin, but huge teeth and frightening features. Scary.


Panting, I start to back up. A rock juts out of the stupid magic ground and yeets me onto my butt. In more mud.


I groan. “I hate this magic.”


“Oh, it’s not magic,” the monster says, his water-eyes flashing yellow as the upper half crosses his arms. “It’s called the elements.”


My eyes dart around. The crazy wind. Air. Unstoppable flames. Fire. Annoying ground. Earth. And, of course, water. “Last time I checked, the elements weren’t alive and magical,” I say nervously.


The water demon chuckles. “The elements aren’t alive. And not magic, boy. No, the elements are just out of hand, at this time on the United Mountain.”


“Why?


“Can’t you see, boy? Water.”


“Yeah. Lots of water.” I gesture to the downpour, which hasn’t eased since the gym. “What?”


“I’m doing great things to the water,” the beast says. “I’m manipulating it so I can be all-powerful. Because of all the water magic, the other elements will be—are currently—thrown out of balance.”


“Why?” I make out. “Why do you want to be all-powerful?”


The giant figure laughs and ‘paces’—the stem of water that makes up his lower half gliding around. The demon continues growing as even more water adds to his body. “The same reason everyone does, boy. Starting with United City, I’ll rule the world.”


He ‘steps’ closer. “You seem like a smart young man.” More like a secret agent catastrophe, I think. “Care to join me as I march down and conquer this city?”


I gulp. Why did I ever follow the water? “No! No, of course not!”


“I won’t destroy the city,” the beast assures me, raising an eyebrow.


I meet his eye then rip my gaze away. I walk to the edge of the summit and stare down. From up here, I can see the entirety of United City—and the whole United Mountain.


Flames lick the trees as the fire makes its way down the hill. The ground is even more restless, sending trees flying into the air. The wind is forming mini tornadoes here and there. The elements are making their way down the hill, where… “They’re destroying it,” I say, my voice ragged. “The elements. They’re out of whack with you and your water business. They’ll destroy the city, the people, everything if you don't stop.”


I turn back to the monster. “I’m not going to join you.”


“Really?” He picks at his nails. “You should. I’m unstoppable. I don't even need you, boy, but you’re good company. If we join forces, I can be entertained by an other-species comrade as I conquer everywhere. Nothing stands in my way. As a powerful freshwater water demon, the only thing that can stop me is saltwater, and there’s none of that here.”


“No.” My voice is hard as steel as I glare at the demon. “I’m not joining you.”


“Alright. Your city will be destroyed by the elements then I’ll conquer the remains, and you’ll be destroyed by me.”


A wicked smile painted in his face, the monster advances on me. My hands are clammy with sweat, and my face is even damper. I’m about to wipe off the sweat when I remember:


Sweat is salty.


The freshwater demon said saltwater is his only weakness…well, buddy, you’ve got some Trig bodily liquids coming your way.


“Wait!” I yelp, pretending to be terrified of the monster. I mean, I am pretty scared, but after my lightbulb moment, I’m resisting a grin. 


“Yes?” The figure studies my face.


“I-I’ll join you,” I make out. “I’ll help you. I pledge my allegiance. Trig Atkinson at your service.”


A smile graces his lips. “Knew it.”


“But one more thing,” I say. “Can I, er, have a hug before we conquer the world?


That surprised him. Then the demon’s watery face softens. “Um, sure.”


We awkwardly embrace.


But.


I’m covered in sweat from the humidity. Salty sweat.


As soon as my body touches his, the monster starts to melt.


“No,” the demon snarls as he glances down. His body is shrinking, the water on the ground switching directions and pouring down the mountain. “No, no, no!”


He glances at me, his eyes full of panic. “Trig! You betrayed me!”


“You can’t destroy the world,” I say. I flick my finger at him, sending one last droplet of sweat onto the small monster. With that, the freshwater demon dissolves completely into a small puddle.


I smile, water still streaming down my face. The earth settles. The fire vanishes. The wind suddenly calms, and soon, I’m just one young spy at the top of a mountain, in a storm.


I begin my walk down the mountain.


*


As soon as I get to my parents’ apartment, I shower, change into fresh clothes, and collapse on the bed.


It’s four A.M. Just two hours ago I was at the gym. Now, I’ve saved the world and the elements are at peace once again.


What an epic story that would be. Trig, failed spy, beats water demon. I can almost see it on the headlines of United Magazine, but I know I can’t submit this to a publisher.


Magic exists. Maybe not movie-magic, as in superpowers, by a water demon? Balance of elements? That stuff’s weird.


I can’t tell people about this, though.


I open up Messages and stare down at the latest message from Kokika. In response to my ice cream turn-down, she says:


☹️☹️☹️

😫😫😫

🥺🥺🥺


I smile. I may not have completed my journalist dream—that’s what I had in mind when I said something to celebrate—but I saved the freakin’ world. That sounded worthy of ice cream.


My thumbs get to work:


ʜᴇʏ, ᴅᴏᴇs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏғғᴇʀ ғᴏʀ ɪᴄᴇ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ sᴛɪʟʟ sᴛᴀɴᴅ?

September 18, 2020 20:53

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203 comments

20:57 Sep 18, 2020

Hello! This is my first story, so thanks for reading. Just a 19-year-old girl who recently discovered her passion for words...I hope this isn’t trash! Anyways, I really hope you enjoyed this piece. If you did, I LOVE any and all comments! 😄😄 Notes: -if you catch any typos, please share :D -if you ask me to read one of your stories after leaving a comment, I TOTALLY WILL! On the other hand, if you leave a tiny compliment and your request literally outsizes your ‘comment’, I won’t. Please don’t copy and paste the same comment as your don...

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Skyler Woods
03:07 Sep 19, 2020

💗 Good job on your first try!

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12:30 Sep 19, 2020

Thanks!

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Skyler Grey
18:17 Oct 19, 2020

oh, wow, another sky :,)

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Your story had a lot of fun humor in it! You definitely did succeed in making it funny! I loved your story, your imagination, and creativity! Great job! 😄

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13:52 Sep 21, 2020

Thanks!

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B. W.
18:33 Sep 19, 2020

oh gosh, do ya think you could help me with something real quick? I've hit writers block on my novel that i mentioned (i think i told ya about it?) and i need help, what do i do to get rid of writers block?

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18:49 Sep 19, 2020

Make an awful thing happen to your characters. The more bad and dramatic it is, the better!

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B. W.
18:51 Sep 19, 2020

I've been thinking about trying to kill off a character but i'm not sure with that so i could maybe try to do something else terrible happen to them, though i don't know yet

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17:34 Dec 21, 2020

I kill off most of my characters in the novels I'm working on, (yeah, I'm doing several) although they usually come back as ghosts or something.

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B. W.
19:20 Dec 21, 2020

Yeah- i do that a lot as well :/ though most of the time they're just dead, they don't come back as ghosts or anything like that.

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22:11 Dec 21, 2020

I have a part of a story I'm writing where the character's ancestor's spirits get trapped in a box and then get out and haunt her...

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D. Shikha
12:32 Sep 19, 2020

Nice first story, Samara!!! Keep writing!!!

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12:34 Sep 19, 2020

Thanks! You too!!

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D. Shikha
12:38 Sep 19, 2020

You're welcome!!!

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12:41 Sep 19, 2020

😄😉😂😆😉😄😂😄 Idk I just did a ton of emojisssss

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D. Shikha
12:43 Sep 19, 2020

Why are you winking?

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12:45 Sep 19, 2020

I dunno. It’s just a fun emoji.

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D. Shikha
12:47 Sep 19, 2020

😄😀😁😂🤣🙂

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13:07 Sep 19, 2020

😂😃☺️😀😁😂🤣🙂😉🙃☺️ Pushed more random emojis

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Niveeidha Palani
22:06 Sep 18, 2020

Hi Samara, first things first, welcome to Reedsy. Hmm? Whoa, that sounds like a cool talent you have there. You certainly have a way for words. Okay, so you seemed to have paragraphed a lot, so much so it looks like you storyline is based on one-lined paragraphs. If you did that for emphasis, I understand, but it does need to be clumped up a little.

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22:11 Sep 18, 2020

Thanks! Well, yeah, that’s kind of what my writing style is: quick and humorous. Okay! Thanks for stopping by!

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Niveeidha Palani
22:14 Sep 18, 2020

No problem ;) Ah, okay, if it's your style then it's not at all a problem. If it isn't a problem, just curious, have you published any books yet, Samara?

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22:16 Sep 18, 2020

Nope! But I’ve started one. It’s about dogs...are you a dogs or cats person? I LOVE DOGS.

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Niveeidha Palani
22:17 Sep 18, 2020

Ah okay then. 😉😊

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22:56 Sep 18, 2020

Editing my comment now....

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Niveeidha Palani
23:42 Sep 18, 2020

Oops, didn't see that comment. I'm a dog person! I have a cute poodle, Happy.

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00:06 Sep 19, 2020

Awwww such a cute name!

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Esther :)
03:57 Aug 04, 2021

DOGSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Esther :)
03:58 Aug 04, 2021

What’s your dog’s name and breed?

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21:09 Sep 18, 2020

Omg, AWESOME first story! I wish I wrote this. An intriguing fantasy-thriller that was SO funny...gah, I love this so much. Also, “Christ on a crack?” LOVE IT! Summary of this ‘long’ comment: amazing job, Samara!

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21:10 Sep 18, 2020

Thank you!!!! This is the first comment I’ve ever received and it’s such a nice feeling to have your writer be enjoyed...again, THANK YOU!!!!!!!! Wow, that’s a lot of exclamation marks. “Christ on a cracker”.... Haha, when I was a senior, my boyfriend said that once, and I love it! Thanks for stopping by, Kym!

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23:21 Sep 18, 2020

No problem! Haha, funny story! I’ve never had a boyfriend, but if I do, he’d better say funny stuff like that 😂

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00:03 Sep 19, 2020

:D

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Hriday Saboo
17:35 Sep 25, 2020

Hey Sam quite sad abt you leaving reedsy. Cmon just give it another try. Your sentence “Adios Reedsy” was like 😔 ........ This was a brilliantly written story. Pls don’t quit reedsy

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18:43 Sep 25, 2020

Hey, I’m not leaving Reedsy! Lol, I’m staying, but SAMARA is leaving. Cheers!

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Hriday Saboo
05:11 Sep 26, 2020

Chheeers!!

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18:48 Sep 25, 2020

Yurp

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D. Shikha
15:38 Sep 19, 2020

Hey Samara, I'm upvoting you a little because you deserve more points.

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15:42 Sep 19, 2020

Thank you so much! I’ll do you as well :D

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D. Shikha
15:44 Sep 19, 2020

Np:) and thanks!!!

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Wow! This is an awesome story Samara! I really enjoyed reading it! Oh and, when you put in the emojis, is there supposed to be quotation marks? You would be obviously much more experienced than me, after all, I'm 12. I really, really love the story (once again, LOL), especially the humour!

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12:32 Sep 19, 2020

Thank you so much! Ah, I don’t know. I mean, I was trying to just write what was shown on the screen, directly...so idk. But thanks for stoppin’ by!

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B. W.
01:27 Sep 19, 2020

Hey this is a really good first story and i enjoyed it ^^ i honestly don't see anything wrong with this so i guess i don't have any advice or anything, just listen to the others but i'll probably agree with them at least on what to fix and stuff. I didn't really have a favorite part or anything i just liked the whole thing in general and i hope to see more of your stories on here and just on this thing in general because yes. so ya know what imma do now then? this gets a 10/10 :)

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02:34 Sep 19, 2020

Thanks!

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B. W.
02:37 Sep 19, 2020

No prob, if ya ever need some help with ideas i wanna help ^^

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Mia Rigini
23:04 Oct 20, 2020

Omg Samara!! Hey girl!! Thanks so much for drawing me! How are you so good at drawing? I am so jealous! Anyways I was so flattered when Jenny showed me and I couldn't believe it! So thank you so much! You are an awesome writer and I hope you are doing good!

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00:43 Oct 21, 2020

Hi, Mia! Glad to see you back! Hehe, my pleasure!! Lol, thanks so much! It was one of my first drawings after, like, a two-year haikus so I’m so glad it wasn’t trash. Thankssssss!!!!!! Aw, thank you, and I am!! How about you?

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Julia Boddie
18:55 Oct 15, 2020

It was a great story and a very entertaining read. I read your bio and just wanted to let you know that you're writing is not trash. I wish you would post more and if you did, I would love to read it!

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Julia Boddie
18:58 Oct 15, 2020

Also, I know how to upvote comments, but how do you upvote stories? Or is that the same as liking them?

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20:25 Oct 15, 2020

Oh, well, you just like them.

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20:25 Oct 15, 2020

Thanks so much!! Well, lol, I’m not active in this account anymore, but I do have an alter account, Aerin B (currently ‘Cereal Killer’). So hehe, while I’m not on anymore, other-me and her stories is 😁😁😁😄😄😄😃😃😆😁😁

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Julia Boddie
20:33 Oct 15, 2020

Oh ok, I'll be sure to check Cereal Killer out!

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B. W.
19:26 Sep 21, 2020

ya thought of anything for this weeks prompts yet? i haven't

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22:32 Sep 21, 2020

🤷🏼‍♀️

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B. W.
23:29 Sep 20, 2020

This weeks prompts for 'face your fears' really aren't good because all they are is stuff with the Apocalypse when they could have done more stuff with only one thing like that and i can't really think of ideas, though i guess it's good if you can think of stuff for it, though i can't think of anything so i was wondering if you could maybe help me with some ideas?

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23:46 Sep 20, 2020

I’m as lost as you are. Apocalypse? No ideaaaa

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B. W.
23:58 Sep 20, 2020

Hm, even though i can't think of anything for me, maybe i could help you with it if ya plan to make a story or at least try to with this weeks prompts? only if you want me to though

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D. Shikha
14:13 Sep 20, 2020

'What if the normal world is all black And when we breathe oxygen, we hallucinate And this is all just a hallucination So when we stop breathing, we ‘black out’ Meaning we stop hallucinating AND SEE THE REAL WORLD ...until we breathe again, And begin our hallucinations' I think like this every day!! Everything we see or feel is just imagination.

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~💖 YW
19:37 Sep 20, 2020

Woah. I like that alot.

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Wow I love this story so much! Great talent you have there!

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12:01 Sep 20, 2020

Thanks!

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~💖 YW
19:38 Sep 20, 2020

I agree with Ashley!

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00:53 Sep 21, 2020

Thanks!

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Corey Melin
21:31 Sep 19, 2020

Greatly enjoyed the creative read. Kept me reading to find out the results. The city is saved by some salty sweat. Well done.

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23:26 Sep 19, 2020

Thanks!

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Amany Sayed
17:24 Sep 19, 2020

Ha, such a relatable character! I love it! "It’s a very, very creepy sigh." I do believe you meant 'sight'. Also, you might want to be careful when describing things, especially in first person. "is a water demon." How does he KNOW it's a water demon, you get me? I overall think this is so very creative and I love it. Keep writing!

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17:51 Sep 19, 2020

Thanks! Oop, yeah! Yesssss, I know, but Trig was just making an assumption. I mean, it’s a monster made out of water. Water demon. Lol. Thank you!

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Amany Sayed
17:53 Sep 19, 2020

No problamo! Ah, I see. Any time!

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Akshat .
13:31 Sep 19, 2020

This word turned upside down sums up your first story --> MOM! It's very creative, and I actually didn't know that you could keep emojis in a story! You know what? I'ma go on an upvoting spree of yours! Just because you're a brilliant writer and that you're running a little short on karma points! I'm looking forward to your next story, and as far as I can see, there aren't any typos or grammar mistakes!

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14:28 Sep 19, 2020

Wow, thank you! I‘ll upvote you as well!

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Akshat .
14:42 Sep 19, 2020

You're welcome! Oh, thanks!

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User_2443 0967
19:44 Feb 18, 2021

love ur bio lol

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21:03 Feb 28, 2021

Hehe thx

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RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. 100% free.