Meet the Millers

For his entire life Rick Donaldson has been Rick Donaldson, a thirty-one-year-old bachelor and EMT. He loves his job as a paramedic, the intensity, the responsibility, the adrenaline, but he dreads his downtime. He never knows what to do with it other than eat, drink, and watch ball games. He lives in a small, untidy apartment in the city but spends most of his time at McAllister’s Pub where he occasionally runs into friends or acquaintances. It’s all better than nothing but leaves him feeling rather unfulfilled.

Rick finished his twenty-four-hour shift and stopped in at McAllister’s for a drink. He was sitting at the bar chugging his first draft. But when he sat it down, it was a glass of milk on a dinner table where he was surrounded by four other people. A woman about his age, a young girl in her teens, and a boy who was probably in grade school. They were all wearing outdated clothes, as was he, and they were all in black and white.

“What the willikers,” Rick asks, although he used a four-letter word instead of willikers. Somehow, that changed. He could hear laughter but couldn’t tell where it was coming from. None of the people at the table were laughing and he couldn’t find anyone else in the room.

“Daddy,” whines the young girl.

“Martin, Marsha just asked you if it was okay if Tommy Michaelson takes her to the school dance,” the woman says, remaining cheerful, although irritated.

“Martin? Who’s Martin?” There was that laughter again.

“You are dear. You’re Martin, and Tommy is the polite boy from down the street. Stanly and Joanna’s boy.”

“Okay. Why do I care?” More laughter.

“For Pete’s sake, Martin, she’s your daughter. Your approval is important to her. Are you feeling ill or something,” the relentlessly cheerful woman asks.

“Ill, yes, I am feeling a bit ill. Daughter. I have a daughter. Of course, sweetie, have fun at the dance,” Rick says, paying more attention to his black and white attire that he would never in a million years wear. It is a suit without a jacket or shoes. They were replaced with slippers and a sweater.

“Can I be excused, daddy, I want to call Sally and tell her the good news,” Marsha asks, beaming with excitement. Rick flips his wrist to signify he doesn’t care.

“I got in trouble at school again dad,” the young boy says. The laughter was replaced with a resounding uh-oh.

Rick rubs his eyes, hoping to restore color to his surroundings. “Oh yeah, what did you do?”

“I put a frog in Cindy Perkins’ lunch box. When she opened it, it scared her. The frog jumped all over the cafeteria making a mess.” The laughter returns.

Rick bursts into laughter at the thought. It sounded so ‘Dennis the Menace.’

“Martin do not encourage the boy,” the woman says, starting to lose her cheerfulness.

Suddenly Rick finds himself in an armchair holding a paper. “What in tarnation,” he says, surprised. Although, what he really said was Jesus F’ing Christ. He doesn’t know what’s going on, but he learns really quick he is definitely censored.

The cheerful lady who for some reason wears dresses and heals around the house, stops her knitting, and asks, “What is with the language lately, Martin? My goodness, if I had a nickel,” she says, shaking her head. There’s more roaring laughter, causing Rick to look around the room, freaked out, concerned he might be losing his mind.

The front door opens. Marsha is home from her date. Rick looks at his watch. A minute ago, they were having dinner where he just gave her permission to go to the dance. That was around six. Now she’s coming home and it’s almost ten. Oohs and awes can be heard as Marsha dramatically dances her way into the living room wearing a pretty dress with her hair all done up. Rick watches the drama unfold with a bit of repulsion, not used to seeing such behavior.

“I guess you had a good time,” mother says to daughter, pleased to see her child in such spirits.

“It was like a dream mother,” Marsha says, taking a seat by her mom on the edge of the couch with her hands placed perfectly in her lap. “Tommy was such a gentleman the whole night. We danced, we talked, he even walked me to the door and kissed me right on the cheek when he said goodnight.”

“That sounds amazing, honey. Your father was quite a gentleman too. Martin, do you remember our first date?”

“No,” Rick says, a bit distracted. “I’m still trying to account for the last four hours.” The laughter returns. Rick closes his eyes and rubs his temples.

“Your father is a kidder. I’ll tell you about it another time. Right now, it’s late and you need to get to bed.”

Time skips ahead again. Rick finds himself standing in an office overlooking a factory floor with a file in his hand. This startles him and he drops the folder. “Gobble-dee-gook,” is not what he said, and the laughter came again.

There’s a knock at the door and a man sticks his head in. “How’s it going boss? Did you have a good weekend?”

“Hard to say,” Rick replies, taken aback that he lost two full days this time.

“It sounds like our kids had a good time Friday night.”

“Hmm, oh, the dance. Yes, Marsha waltzed through the door like she was on cloud nine,” Rick says, putting it together that he’s talking to Stanly Michaelson.

“I’m happy to hear that. Tommy would like to come by your place and ask permission to go steady with Marsha,” Stanly says timidly to his boss.

“Those kids don’t need my permission. Save your boy the trip and tell him it’s fine.”

“How does Florence feel about your daughter going study at such a young age?”

“Who?” Laughter.

“Florence. Your wife.”

“I know she likes Tommy. Really, it’s up to Marsha.”

“I guess that’s true. Well, I’ll let Tommy know. He will be very excited. Thank you. I better get back to work. Break time is just about over.”

Stanly had no sooner closed the door than Rick found himself at the front door of a house. Not sure where he’s at, he knocks. Florence answers the door, wearing a blouse, skirt, apron, and heels, hair done up nicely with her make-up on, looking confused. In one hand she has his slippers with his sweater draped over her arm and in her other hand a scotch and soda. She doesn’t bother asking why he knocked, she just hands him his slippers and takes his briefcase. Then he exchanges his jacket for the sweater, and she hands him his drink. “Tough day at work, Martin?”

“Not really. Talked to Stanly Michaelson briefly. He wanted to know if Tommy could come by and ask to go steady with Marsha.”

“Oh, how nice and proper. What time should we expect him?”

“I told him to save the kid the trip. I really don’t care. It’s up to Marsha who she dates.”

“Oh, are you sure honey. I mean, we know Tommy, but what about the next boy, if there is a next boy. Don’t you think it’s in our daughter’s best interest that we get to know the boy first.”

“Nah, she’ll be fine.”

“Okay…. Well, if that’s how you feel, you are the man of the house. Dinner will be ready in half an hour. The paper is by your chair.”

Rick sat down and Florence was almost in the kitchen when Marsha comes bouncing inside. “He asked me to go study! Tommy Michaelson asked me to be his girlfriend!” Laughter and applause ensued.

Florence clasps her hands and bounces up and down as her daughter hugs her dad and showers him with thank you after thank you for his blessing.

Another skip forward and Rick finds himself sitting in bed with pajamas on, with a book in his hand. He raises his eyebrows and side-eyes Florence who is putting lotion on her hands. “You made your daughter a very happy girl these past few days. You have been acting a little odd, but I chalk that up to you not feeling well. Despite not feeling well, you have come through for us and made us as happy as always. You’re the greatest husband and father a family can ask for. Goodnight, dear,” Florence says as she crawls under the covers. She rolls over and gives him a kiss on the cheek before turning off her light. Rick smiles sheepishly and puts down the book, thinking that maybe if he turns out the light and goes to sleep, he will wake up in his real bed in his apartment.

That wasn’t the case. That was just the end of episode 1, season 1 of ‘Meet the Millers,’ a sitcom that aired from 1956 to 1961. After the last episode aired, Rick found himself back on that barstool like he had never left. He had a new appreciation for those long stretches of time when he thought there was nothing to do. He started filling that time by going out more, dating, fishing, exercising, and making a point of contacting friends and family more often. There are times where he just appreciates having time to watch a movie or read a book. He got involved with a charity organization and helps with fundraisers too because if there was one thing he learned while stuck in TV land is that time can fly by, so why not make the most of the time you have.