By the time I got there, the black cat was already sitting on the bench, the one with the peeling green paint and the inscription βIn memory of Mrs. Hallie Goodwallβ.Β
βSo?β His yellow eyes glowed eerily in the dark, seeing right through my question like two beams of a flashlight cutting through the darkness. He sighed, too, so at least I knew he could still speak. Or maybe I was just making sure I could hear him, making sure that I was still a freak.
βAddie, dear, youβve got to be patient,β he drawled, looking positively bored. βIβm a cat, for goodnessβ sake, not a search robot!β. My head had already begun to throb at the temple.
βFirst of all, donβt call me dear, you know I hate it. Second of all...β I trailed off.Β
The gentle wind blew bright stars across the midnight sky, the clouds giving the moon a sickly, pale light. There was no need for it to fill the silence between us, though. It buzzed and sizzled with our thoughts and shrouded bitterness, fizzed out the sour words silently spouting from our mouths.
βJames said he was all right with talking to you, if you are, too,β the cat murmured in my ear. We look at each other a moment, one with their head slightly tilted, as if asking a question, the other restless and fidgety.
I decided not to answer this. The last time I had seen James, it had ended in streaming, hateful tears and many questions thickening the air, pressing down on our shoulders.
βAddie?β he said, poking my cheek gently with his paw, the front-right one.
βI canβt, Blackie.β Thatβs all he needed to climb onto my lap and lie on his back, belly up, paws in the air. The same thing he always did when he wanted something from me.
βAll right, then talk to me. Why?β the cat - Blackie - said. I hesitate for a moment, then let my doubts melt away.
βIt just hasnβt been the same ever since she died. I guess she was the thing tying us together, but we used to be so closeβ¦ I just donβt know what happened,β I manage to choke out. My tears want to come out, theyβre the ball in my throat, the stinging in my eyes, the pinching in my heart.Β
βItβs going to be okay,β Blackie didnβt say. Nor did he say βIβm so sorryβ or βI completely understandβ. No, all he said was βOhβ, and thatβs all that was needed.
There was another momentary pause, though not the same bitter one as before, one filled with sweetness and sorrow, like a cup of honey tea on a rainy day. I pulled Blackie closer, savoring the warmth radiating out of him and the gentle touch of his soft fur.Β
βYou arenβt really a cat, are you, Blackie?β Blackie smiled at this, tilted his head again.
βItβs a pity youβre so honest, Addie, youβd be amazing at playing dumb,β he drawled again.
βYouβre not answering my question!β
βWhether Iβm a cat or something else is none of your business, and has no importance anyways. Besides, weβre worried about you, not me,β Blackie said.
"How do you understand me so well, then? We only met a few weeks ago. I can't imagine any cat has such a high comprehension of human beings...."
βRight, so, Maria says she still hates you, youβre refusing to talk to James, your dad says heβs too tired to deal with you, which means that we are going to have to come up with a plan B,β he said, dodging the subject as smoothly as he could. βAny ideas? Maybe a βFamily Recuperation Dayβ?βΒ
I frown. What do my family members like? After all, itβs been years since weβve talked. I look to Blackie for even the slightest hint of an idea, but come up short.
βErβ¦ a walk on the beach could work. Everyone likes a nice walk on the beach, right?β I suggest rather sheepishly.
βIf thatβs all you can come up with, then, yes, thatβs fine.β He pauses for a moment, rocking from side to side on my lap.
βBlackie, I donβt know what I would do without you.β He groaned at the heartfelt statement.
βYou say that every day, donβt you ever get sick of being so grateful about everything?β he teased with something that resembles a snort. I stuck my tongue out in response.
βI never asked, but why this bench?β Blackie asked with a small twitch of his tail as he sat up. βA memoriae on a bench, huh. I personally wouldnβt want to be remembered this way.β When I simply cast on an icy demeanor, I could see his eyes narrowing, the pupil having become barely anything more than a slit, visible signs of his contained frustration.
βLook, Addie, Iβm trying to help you here. I can help you put your life back together but you canβt just keep running from your past! You-β
βSee, this is why I know you arenβt a cat. Youβre so cat-like that it has to be fake,β I said quietly, though I was seething with anger.
There it is again, the same bitter silence as earlier, though now with a strong breeze to fillΒ it with. One that always comes, always tries to help, is never needed. Like me.
βIβm sorry.β His words didnβt cut the silence like a knife, rather melting it and having it drip, drip, drip away like warm honey. βI shouldnβt haveβ¦β
βOne thing we both need to work on is not getting hung up on what already happened and focusing more on what is to come. My mom taught me that. She was right,β I murmured as I gently stroked Blackieβs fur. Under the moonlight, he looked tiny and vulnerable, especially as he sat in the large ocean of my blue skirt.
After a moment, Blackie said, βWhy did you name me Blackie when you couldβve named me Leonardo de Catrio or Captain Stinkypaws?β My suppressed laughter quickly turns into giggles and finally a burst of bubbly laughter.
βGoodness gracious, Blackie, can you imagine telling someone that your name is Captain Stinkypaws?β I snicker.Β
βOh, no, no, no,β Blackie mewled. βSpare me from your torturing, from agonyβ¦β I laughed as I pulled him close.
βTo answer your question, Blackie..." I began, "I miss my mother. I guess that by sitting on this bench and gazing at her name every day, I feel as if Iβm making up for everything Iβve done to her, even if it isnβt true. We all remember her in our own ways, donβt we?". Blackie said nothing about this, moving on instead.
βSpeaking of embracing the present, letβs go somewhere else next week. How about a walk on the beach?βΒ Blackie purred with the slightest hint of a smirk.
"Let's do it!" I giggle, and the night is filled with laughter and bright smiles.
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39 comments
You asked me to read, so here I am. So sweet! I really like the imagery, and the line about fizzing secrets. That was great. First, cut redundant words. Delete every word that doesn't add to the story. The part where the cat gets nicer and cuddles-- is that consistent with its character? Second, motive/timing. Why is the cat helping her now? Why not years before? Answering these helps clear up motive so the reader can focus on plot. Sweet story, great imagery. Keep it up!
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Thanks so much for the feedback! I changed it a bit at the part where Blackie climbs onto her lap so that you know why he climbing on and changing the slightly redundant part about not being a cat... I hope it makes a bit more sense now! Thanks again, Peachy
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Awesome! You're welcome.
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Hiya, Peachy! Just dropped by to say a couple things ;) 1. LOVE YOUR PROFILE PIC! Your uncle drew it, right? Itβs adorable ;) 2. I just upvoted you 20+ points, so...um...yeah. Enjoy! 3. All of the quotes in your bio are awesome ;) I especially love that last one cuz its TRUUUUU! 4. Oop, 4 things. Whatevs. Just a question: are you male or female? I canβt tell from your name, but Iβve been assuming youβre a girl this whole time... Bye! ~Aerin
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Haha, yes, I'm a girl. How'd you know? I had to beg my uncle for to draw it for me because I SUCK at drawing. Also, thanks fro the karma points!
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Idk...hehe Mβkay π No problem!
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This is a great lighthearted story with tinges of sadness woven into it! I like how both the main character and the cat can find solace in each other and are ready to start living in the presentππ½
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Yay! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
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Amazing job with this!! (I just upvoted you!)
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thank youuuu! I'm glad you enjoyed this story. I'm trying to get another one out this week :)
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Nice!
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I liked this story and you did a great job with it ^^ you should continue to make some stories here. this gets a 10/10 :)
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aw thank you! to be honest I've been a little busy lately (yep, I've got school) but I've been trying to write. Hopefully I can get a story out soon :)
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I'm going to begin where Zilla left off. She gave good advice. Now any advice must be on how to edit away from this Reedsy page. How do you get better at finding the dead words? It's a skill, like any other, so practice is essential. Look at others and, after you read their tale, go back to read each sentence and see how it fits the tale, what could change or be left out. In your story "By the time I got there, the black cat was already sitting on the bench, the one with the peeling green paint and the inscription βIn memory of Mrs. ...
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Thank you so, SO much for the in-depth critique! I do tend to have a lot of redundant words, and I have to work on that. I'll work on "killing my darlings", as Stephen King said. Also, I read your short story "The Awards", and for some reason, it made me laugh. Maybe it was because of the "To Darwin!" at the end, but anyways, I loved it!
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Steve was talking about your characters, not the individual words. The secret to success is to present characters with difficulties not easy lives. The more you hate the character, the better off your story is.
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Oh... well, I guess that makes sense, too... Okay, so my main goals are: 1) Cut redundant words 2) Create a character I hate (but is still an interesting character) Thanks for the clarification!
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No, you can like the character, you just have to treat them horribly, throwing all sorts of pain their way. It's how you build tension for readers- how can my beloved X overcome all this adversity. Some modern writers go so far that it passes implausible to become impossible. If the character is hungry, exhausted, wounded, and distracted by their true love needing a transfusion only they can provide, then having a knock-down drag out fight against the enemy who is already far stronger than them becomes silly. Yet people have started believin...
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mm ok. Sorry, my comprehension is way off this morning! Goals: 1) Cut redundant words 2) Be sadistic, make my characters suffer. OPTIONAL: Cackle while making my character suffer
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This was such a good story! It was fun and sweet with interesting dialogue and descriptions. You had my attention the whole time, I was so eager to know what was going to happen next!. Amazing work!
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This is such a heartwarming story! I really liked everything about it, from the imagery to the choice of words. Great!! Please check my stories out too :)
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Of course! Glad you enjoyed.
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I like the imagery throughout the story and the relation between the protagonist and the cat... Nicely done, Peachy! Would you mind reading my recent story out, "(Pink)y Promise"? Thank you :D
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Of course! I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
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Hey, Peachy! You asked me to read this story forever ago, and I'm so sorry it took me so long to read it! Anyways, this story was beautiful and it had a sense of mystery throughout the whole thing. Another thing is that the way she had an idea of Blackie being something else (not a cat) just added another layer to the story. Overall, amazing job! -Brooke
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Love the quotes in your bio πβΊοΈ
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lolll thank you!
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YOUR A POTATAOE COMBANATION TOO??!?!!? Nice story! BTW: LOVE ur namie!!!
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Sorry for the late response, but yes. I am part potato. I like your name too!
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Heheheee
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Nice story
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Hii, Peachy Sorry to intervene, in this brutal manner, I have a request for you would be kind to give a single glance over the vehicle which my team had been working over months. https://www.instagram.com/p/CHX5VUPBJOp/?igshid=5f72nb3cgg30 Sorry to take your time and If possible like the post.Because this would help team to win
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I looked at it and wow! It's incredible! I liked it, too :)
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Wow!!!!!!Fantastic story.I love this story.Great job keep it up.I like the ending.βLetβs do it !I giggle,and the night is filled with laughter and bright smiles.I liked the story.Keep writing.Waiting for more. Would you mind to read my story βThe dragon warrior part 2?β
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Of course! I'm glad you enjoyed the story :)
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Hi, Peachy! Great story! I love the personality you put in Blackie- very realistic. Would you mind coming and checking out my page? Please and thanks Good job on the story!
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Of course, Megan! I'm glad you found Blackie's personality realistic and that you enjoyed the story :)
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DANG this was good. πππ Also, would you mind checking out my new (and by that, I mean I posted it 10 minutes ago) story, βJax Off Ash (Part 1)β? Thanks! Wow, keep it up, Peachy Hedgehog! (Great pen name btw) ~Aerin!
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Thanks, Aerin! Of course I'll check it out :)
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