By the time I got there, the black cat was already sitting on the bench, the one with the peeling green paint and the inscription โIn memory of Mrs. Hallie Goodwallโ.ย
โSo?โ His yellow eyes glowed eerily in the dark, seeing right through my question like two beams of a flashlight cutting through the darkness. He sighed, too, so at least I knew he could still speak. Or maybe I was just making sure I could hear him, making sure that I was still a freak.
โAddie, dear, youโve got to be patient,โ he drawled, looking positively bored. โIโm a cat, for goodnessโ sake, not a search robot!โ. My head had already begun to throb at the temple.
โFirst of all, donโt call me dear, you know I hate it. Second of all...โ I trailed off.ย
The gentle wind blew bright stars across the midnight sky, the clouds giving the moon a sickly, pale light. There was no need for it to fill the silence between us, though. It buzzed and sizzled with our thoughts and shrouded bitterness, fizzed out the sour words silently spouting from our mouths.
โJames said he was all right with talking to you, if you are, too,โ the cat murmured in my ear. We look at each other a moment, one with their head slightly tilted, as if asking a question, the other restless and fidgety.
I decided not to answer this. The last time I had seen James, it had ended in streaming, hateful tears and many questions thickening the air, pressing down on our shoulders.
โAddie?โ he said, poking my cheek gently with his paw, the front-right one.
โI canโt, Blackie.โ Thatโs all he needed to climb onto my lap and lie on his back, belly up, paws in the air. The same thing he always did when he wanted something from me.
โAll right, then talk to me. Why?โ the cat - Blackie - said. I hesitate for a moment, then let my doubts melt away.
โIt just hasnโt been the same ever since she died. I guess she was the thing tying us together, but we used to be so closeโฆ I just donโt know what happened,โ I manage to choke out. My tears want to come out, theyโre the ball in my throat, the stinging in my eyes, the pinching in my heart.ย
โItโs going to be okay,โ Blackie didnโt say. Nor did he say โIโm so sorryโ or โI completely understandโ. No, all he said was โOhโ, and thatโs all that was needed.
There was another momentary pause, though not the same bitter one as before, one filled with sweetness and sorrow, like a cup of honey tea on a rainy day. I pulled Blackie closer, savoring the warmth radiating out of him and the gentle touch of his soft fur.ย
โYou arenโt really a cat, are you, Blackie?โ Blackie smiled at this, tilted his head again.
โItโs a pity youโre so honest, Addie, youโd be amazing at playing dumb,โ he drawled again.
โYouโre not answering my question!โ
โWhether Iโm a cat or something else is none of your business, and has no importance anyways. Besides, weโre worried about you, not me,โ Blackie said.
"How do you understand me so well, then? We only met a few weeks ago. I can't imagine any cat has such a high comprehension of human beings...."
โRight, so, Maria says she still hates you, youโre refusing to talk to James, your dad says heโs too tired to deal with you, which means that we are going to have to come up with a plan B,โ he said, dodging the subject as smoothly as he could. โAny ideas? Maybe a โFamily Recuperation Dayโ?โย
I frown. What do my family members like? After all, itโs been years since weโve talked. I look to Blackie for even the slightest hint of an idea, but come up short.
โErโฆ a walk on the beach could work. Everyone likes a nice walk on the beach, right?โ I suggest rather sheepishly.
โIf thatโs all you can come up with, then, yes, thatโs fine.โ He pauses for a moment, rocking from side to side on my lap.
โBlackie, I donโt know what I would do without you.โ He groaned at the heartfelt statement.
โYou say that every day, donโt you ever get sick of being so grateful about everything?โ he teased with something that resembles a snort. I stuck my tongue out in response.
โI never asked, but why this bench?โ Blackie asked with a small twitch of his tail as he sat up. โA memoriae on a bench, huh. I personally wouldnโt want to be remembered this way.โ When I simply cast on an icy demeanor, I could see his eyes narrowing, the pupil having become barely anything more than a slit, visible signs of his contained frustration.
โLook, Addie, Iโm trying to help you here. I can help you put your life back together but you canโt just keep running from your past! You-โ
โSee, this is why I know you arenโt a cat. Youโre so cat-like that it has to be fake,โ I said quietly, though I was seething with anger.
There it is again, the same bitter silence as earlier, though now with a strong breeze to fillย it with. One that always comes, always tries to help, is never needed. Like me.
โIโm sorry.โ His words didnโt cut the silence like a knife, rather melting it and having it drip, drip, drip away like warm honey. โI shouldnโt haveโฆโ
โOne thing we both need to work on is not getting hung up on what already happened and focusing more on what is to come. My mom taught me that. She was right,โ I murmured as I gently stroked Blackieโs fur. Under the moonlight, he looked tiny and vulnerable, especially as he sat in the large ocean of my blue skirt.
After a moment, Blackie said, โWhy did you name me Blackie when you couldโve named me Leonardo de Catrio or Captain Stinkypaws?โ My suppressed laughter quickly turns into giggles and finally a burst of bubbly laughter.
โGoodness gracious, Blackie, can you imagine telling someone that your name is Captain Stinkypaws?โ I snicker.ย
โOh, no, no, no,โ Blackie mewled. โSpare me from your torturing, from agonyโฆโ I laughed as I pulled him close.
โTo answer your question, Blackie..." I began, "I miss my mother. I guess that by sitting on this bench and gazing at her name every day, I feel as if Iโm making up for everything Iโve done to her, even if it isnโt true. We all remember her in our own ways, donโt we?". Blackie said nothing about this, moving on instead.
โSpeaking of embracing the present, letโs go somewhere else next week. How about a walk on the beach?โย Blackie purred with the slightest hint of a smirk.
"Let's do it!" I giggle, and the night is filled with laughter and bright smiles.
You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.
39 comments
You asked me to read, so here I am. So sweet! I really like the imagery, and the line about fizzing secrets. That was great. First, cut redundant words. Delete every word that doesn't add to the story. The part where the cat gets nicer and cuddles-- is that consistent with its character? Second, motive/timing. Why is the cat helping her now? Why not years before? Answering these helps clear up motive so the reader can focus on plot. Sweet story, great imagery. Keep it up!
Reply
Thanks so much for the feedback! I changed it a bit at the part where Blackie climbs onto her lap so that you know why he climbing on and changing the slightly redundant part about not being a cat... I hope it makes a bit more sense now! Thanks again, Peachy
Reply
Awesome! You're welcome.
Reply
Hiya, Peachy! Just dropped by to say a couple things ;) 1. LOVE YOUR PROFILE PIC! Your uncle drew it, right? Itโs adorable ;) 2. I just upvoted you 20+ points, so...um...yeah. Enjoy! 3. All of the quotes in your bio are awesome ;) I especially love that last one cuz its TRUUUUU! 4. Oop, 4 things. Whatevs. Just a question: are you male or female? I canโt tell from your name, but Iโve been assuming youโre a girl this whole time... Bye! ~Aerin
Reply
Haha, yes, I'm a girl. How'd you know? I had to beg my uncle for to draw it for me because I SUCK at drawing. Also, thanks fro the karma points!
Reply
Idk...hehe Mโkay ๐ No problem!
Reply
This is a great lighthearted story with tinges of sadness woven into it! I like how both the main character and the cat can find solace in each other and are ready to start living in the present๐๐ฝ
Reply
Yay! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Reply
Amazing job with this!! (I just upvoted you!)
Reply
thank youuuu! I'm glad you enjoyed this story. I'm trying to get another one out this week :)
Reply
Nice!
Reply
I liked this story and you did a great job with it ^^ you should continue to make some stories here. this gets a 10/10 :)
Reply
aw thank you! to be honest I've been a little busy lately (yep, I've got school) but I've been trying to write. Hopefully I can get a story out soon :)
Reply
I'm going to begin where Zilla left off. She gave good advice. Now any advice must be on how to edit away from this Reedsy page. How do you get better at finding the dead words? It's a skill, like any other, so practice is essential. Look at others and, after you read their tale, go back to read each sentence and see how it fits the tale, what could change or be left out. In your story "By the time I got there, the black cat was already sitting on the bench, the one with the peeling green paint and the inscription โIn memory of Mrs. ...
Reply
Thank you so, SO much for the in-depth critique! I do tend to have a lot of redundant words, and I have to work on that. I'll work on "killing my darlings", as Stephen King said. Also, I read your short story "The Awards", and for some reason, it made me laugh. Maybe it was because of the "To Darwin!" at the end, but anyways, I loved it!
Reply
Steve was talking about your characters, not the individual words. The secret to success is to present characters with difficulties not easy lives. The more you hate the character, the better off your story is.
Reply
Oh... well, I guess that makes sense, too... Okay, so my main goals are: 1) Cut redundant words 2) Create a character I hate (but is still an interesting character) Thanks for the clarification!
Reply
No, you can like the character, you just have to treat them horribly, throwing all sorts of pain their way. It's how you build tension for readers- how can my beloved X overcome all this adversity. Some modern writers go so far that it passes implausible to become impossible. If the character is hungry, exhausted, wounded, and distracted by their true love needing a transfusion only they can provide, then having a knock-down drag out fight against the enemy who is already far stronger than them becomes silly. Yet people have started believin...
Reply
mm ok. Sorry, my comprehension is way off this morning! Goals: 1) Cut redundant words 2) Be sadistic, make my characters suffer. OPTIONAL: Cackle while making my character suffer
Reply
This was such a good story! It was fun and sweet with interesting dialogue and descriptions. You had my attention the whole time, I was so eager to know what was going to happen next!. Amazing work!
Reply
This is such a heartwarming story! I really liked everything about it, from the imagery to the choice of words. Great!! Please check my stories out too :)
Reply
Of course! Glad you enjoyed.
Reply
I like the imagery throughout the story and the relation between the protagonist and the cat... Nicely done, Peachy! Would you mind reading my recent story out, "(Pink)y Promise"? Thank you :D
Reply
Of course! I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
Reply
Hey, Peachy! You asked me to read this story forever ago, and I'm so sorry it took me so long to read it! Anyways, this story was beautiful and it had a sense of mystery throughout the whole thing. Another thing is that the way she had an idea of Blackie being something else (not a cat) just added another layer to the story. Overall, amazing job! -Brooke
Reply
Love the quotes in your bio ๐โบ๏ธ
Reply
lolll thank you!
Reply
YOUR A POTATAOE COMBANATION TOO??!?!!? Nice story! BTW: LOVE ur namie!!!
Reply
Sorry for the late response, but yes. I am part potato. I like your name too!
Reply
Heheheee
Reply
Nice story
Reply
Hii, Peachy Sorry to intervene, in this brutal manner, I have a request for you would be kind to give a single glance over the vehicle which my team had been working over months. https://www.instagram.com/p/CHX5VUPBJOp/?igshid=5f72nb3cgg30 Sorry to take your time and If possible like the post.Because this would help team to win
Reply
I looked at it and wow! It's incredible! I liked it, too :)
Reply
Wow!!!!!!Fantastic story.I love this story.Great job keep it up.I like the ending.โLetโs do it !I giggle,and the night is filled with laughter and bright smiles.I liked the story.Keep writing.Waiting for more. Would you mind to read my story โThe dragon warrior part 2?โ
Reply
Of course! I'm glad you enjoyed the story :)
Reply
Hi, Peachy! Great story! I love the personality you put in Blackie- very realistic. Would you mind coming and checking out my page? Please and thanks Good job on the story!
Reply
Of course, Megan! I'm glad you found Blackie's personality realistic and that you enjoyed the story :)
Reply
DANG this was good. ๐๐๐ Also, would you mind checking out my new (and by that, I mean I posted it 10 minutes ago) story, โJax Off Ash (Part 1)โ? Thanks! Wow, keep it up, Peachy Hedgehog! (Great pen name btw) ~Aerin!
Reply
Thanks, Aerin! Of course I'll check it out :)
Reply