‘The worst meal I’ve ever tasted.’ Imagine a zero-star TripAdvisor restaurant review: capture the customer’s evening out that compelled them to complain.

Posted in Funny on Sep 29, 2023

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✍️ 31 stories

“No Stars for You” by Nina H

Submitted to Contest #218

Luigi’s Palatable Palace 🌠 0.0 Frederick T. said: “I consider myself a food connoisseur. I grew up eating three meals a day. I often made my own breakfast cereal, with a range of milk choices to complement the selection. For example, always use a 2% with Raisin Bran. Almond milk goes best with Cheerios, while whole milk is definitely the best with Rice Chex. Shredded Wheat: just throw that straight in the bin. Nobody should eat that garbage with any kind of milk. Why am I sharing my expertise? I feel you shoul...

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“Operation William Wallace” by Rebecca Detti

Submitted to Contest #218

‘Ok babe. I’m just outside now. Time for one last performance. I know, you too, have a great night and I’ll see you tomorrow at Gatwick. Can’t believe it. We will be out of here and Rome here we come!’It was absolutely chucking it down in the village of Tollhurst in a sleepy corner of East Sussex and Sophie often wondered why she hadn’t accepted a lift from her pa to work. He was always so insistent about chauffeuring her and other members of the family around. She suspected it was a rouse to get out of the house and avoid any chores her mum...

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“Smells Fishy” by Chris Campbell

Submitted to Contest #218

“Jason, it’s late, hun. Come to bed.” “I will sweetheart. I’m just leaving a Trip Advisor review on the restaurant we were at tonight.” “Really, babe? Leave it, please. Is it worth the hassle?” “Did you like the meal or the experience, Kris?” “You already know my opinion.” “I’m nearly done, go back to sleep.” “I’m awake, now, so read me your review. How many stars are you giving it?” “None, zero, zilch. I only wish you could give negative stars.” “Like negative zero?” “There’s no such thing as negative zero.” “Then give them a zero. It will ...

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“No chicken tenders, no multi versus” by Robert Egan

Submitted to Contest #218

🐈‍⬛ Karen B. ★☆☆☆☆ Sep 11, 2023My advise... stay away!!! Place does NOT have multi versus, not even one. And rude. They laughed when I said I was waiting for date and had reservation. Made me sit alone at bar. Super expensive plate tasted like sand vomit. Don't know why its still in business. U act like ur all special but don't have diet coke and not even have chicken tenders. Seriously? And manager tried to kiss me. Gross. Not hygenic.🌌 Response from Felix S. of Parallel Dine 49 (Business Owner)Sep 12, 2023: Hello Karen, First off, no one i...

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“Party of Four” by Michael Novak

Submitted to Contest #218

Note: Contains physical violence and references to substance abuse. I should probably start this review by saying that I wrote this from inside a police station. My friends and I had been wanting to try Blackrock Café for a while now. The place only opened last month, but the buzz it was getting on Facebook was wild. It seemed like everyone we knew had been already, and everyone was like, “Guys, you gotta try this place; best restaurant in the city!” Now how could anyone pass up the best restaurant in the city? It was hell to get a r...

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“Revenge is a Dish” by Jed Cope

Submitted to Contest #218

The rear of the kitchen was an after-thought, but then this was a universal truth. Eateries were like overturned cars, the shiny side welcomed the diners in and they enjoyed their time in the plush cabin. The dirty underbelly was not for them. This place was where all the leftovers and rubbish spilled out after a busy service. Kayleigh lit her cigarette, the sulphurous match staving off some of the stench of the ripe garbage. She was late to her break, prep taking precedence over her rest. Absently, she opened her phone and flicked and scr...

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“Hagars House of Hot Ribs” by Kelly Sibley

Submitted to Contest #218

When asked to write a restaurant review, one first needs the time for the world to cease spinning before the proverbial pen is put to paper. Who knew after a night out I’d see the sun rise from the cold tiles of my bathroom floor? Maybe if I had known, I would never have entered ‘Hagar’s House of Hot Ribs’.It was with a light heart and a bottle of very nice red that I stepped into this establishment at 7:30 pm sharp. Having phoned ahead to ensure my lady friend and I would be able to get our table quickly, I was assured by someone calling th...

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“Yuck!” by Ralph Aldrich

Submitted to Contest #218

“You’ve just got to try this place, Walter. I’m tellin ya I’ve never tasted a better burger in all my life! It’s out on Highway fifty-one going west. I think it might be a truck stop but, at any rate, it’s darn good!” So were the praises of my neighbor, Dave. I should have taken them with no more than a grain of salt. Dave is an alcoholic and a survivor of a car accident that destroyed his sense of taste and smell. But it still seems as though he can taste a little something. The food must be very spicy. &...

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“No Michelin Star Here” by Keelan LaForge

Submitted to Contest #218

If I could give it zero stars I would. The funny thing is the name of the restaurant should have been a warning in itself. It was called the Michelin Star Inn. It didn’t really have a Michelin star; that false claim was just a cheap marketing ploy. I wonder on reflection if any inns have Michelin stars. They’re too homey for fine dining, but still, I fell for it. That makes me feel idiotic, knowing that their laughable promotional idea worked on me. I thought I was reasonably intelligent, but I’ve questioned my own brain power since that day...

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“"Be Sure to Get the Fettuccine Alfredo"” by David Sanchez

Submitted to Contest #218

Faliero’s Ristorante Italiano 208 West Resler Avenue Valley Heights, TX 78901 Recent Review: The Worst Meal I’ve Ever Tasted Submitted by user R. Talamantes, 30-Sept-2023, 11:48 p.m. Normally I don’t post reviews on this site, but this time I felt I had to. This was far and away THE worst meal I’ve ever tasted. The service was impeccable, though, which makes this review so difficult to write. But if I set the table, as it were, then you’ll see why I gave this restaurant zero stars. So on Friday, I was talking to a coworker about pl...

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“The Jumping Frog” by Mark Leasure

Submitted to Contest #218

It was last Saturday evening. I had just arrived home after a long day of work. I detest Saturday work, especially Saturday work that is so dreadfully boring. Rest assured I would no longer be updating client contact information, and if Martin had any objections then he will receive more than half of my mind about how much of a pathetic, squirrely little man he is, and upon any further objection, I will use his head as a toilet scrubber. Anyway, my phone began to ring. It was Dalton. I answered."Hello Dalton""Hey man, come out with us tonigh...

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“Daybreak Diner” by Aneesa Shamsee

Submitted to Contest #218

I can tell you this. It looked promising from the outside, a general pleasing aesthetic complimenting the pink neon sign, the words ‘Daybreak Diner,’ flashing. The look of a classic diner, fuchsia built in leather seats, surrounding the oval-shaped tables. I walked in with my family, waiting to be seated. After two minutes or so, I started looking around, to see if anyone was coming. I caught sight of a waitress heading in our direction, but in the last minute she turned around, heading back to the bar. At this point, hints of agitation had ...

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“'The worst meal I've ever tasted'” by Nomcebo Phungwayo

Submitted to Contest #218

'May l please have today's special'. said undercover solo food critic, Treasure McBright after handing back the menu. Treasure McBright. She is the world renowned food critic whose reviews make or break a restaurant’s global image and she's a solo traveller whose image is not known by most people. It was her first time in that restaurant, she was open to exploring the country's cuisine and had seen that restaurant through a TripAdvisor blog. The menu of the day suggested that she would be tasting the best spaghetti Bolognese in town. She w...

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“Mon pire repas (My worst meal)” by Bob Leask

Submitted to Contest #218

Initially the conversation was light-hearted and chatty, but changed once our meals were served. The were six of us in our group trying out a new Asian style restaurant for the first time and it didn't take long for the complaints to surface. My seafood is overcooked, my calamari is like rubber, my chicken is raw and where are our drinks? I had opted for spring rolls as a starter and after the first bite I discretely emptied the contents of my mouth into my napkin. It not only tasted foul but smelled like the back of a Chinese restaurant on ...

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“The Bridge to the Grail” by Jonathan Page

Submitted to Contest #218

We wandered the wasteland with empty stomachs, shaking and sweating from hunger. Our guts were soured by the unused acids that churned like mortar. We sang as we trotted along to keep our minds off of the stomach grumbling: “Here’s to the grog, boys, the jolly, jolly grog / I’ve a-spent all my tin with the lassies drinking gin / Then come morning I’ll be sleeping like a log / Here’s to the grog, boys, the jolly, jolly grog.” Pinot was an absolute waste of a squire but was a first-rate singer if there ever was one, and I suppose tha...

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‘The worst meal I’ve ever tasted.’ Imagine a zero-star TripAdvisor restaurant review: capture the customer’s evening out that compelled them to complain.

Submissions are closed

✍️ 31 stories

“No Stars for You” by Nina H

“Operation William Wallace” by Rebecca Detti

“Smells Fishy” by Chris Campbell

“No chicken tenders, no multi versus” by Robert Egan

“Party of Four” by Michael Novak

“Revenge is a Dish” by Jed Cope

“Hagars House of Hot Ribs” by Kelly Sibley

“Yuck!” by Ralph Aldrich

“No Michelin Star Here” by Keelan LaForge

“"Be Sure to Get the Fettuccine Alfredo"” by David Sanchez

“The Jumping Frog” by Mark Leasure

“Daybreak Diner” by Aneesa Shamsee

“'The worst meal I've ever tasted'” by Nomcebo Phungwayo

“Mon pire repas (My worst meal)” by Bob Leask

“The Bridge to the Grail” by Jonathan Page

🌟 Similar prompts

Begin a scene with a non-visual sense. Describe a specific sound, smell, taste, etc to capture your setting, then expand the story out from there.

Start the story with the absence of a sensory detail (eg. silence when there should be noise).

‘Hit a tripwire of smell and memories explode all at once.’ Use the senses to transport a character back to the past.

Write a story that begins, ends, or changes with a song played by a busker.

Contest #218

Enter our weekly contest!

$250

Prize money

334

Contest entries

97

Stories

Win $250 in our short story competition 🏆

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