Rebecca Detti

“Let's blame grandpa” by Rebecca Detti

Submitted to Contest #242

‘Good morning darling’‘Oh, morning mummy. How are you, daddy, and Ella?’‘Yes, we’re fine thanks. Just been for a walkies with Ella and I’m sure we’ll be out again soon. Maybe a stop at The Old Boot on the way back this time.’‘Oh mummy. Well don’t say too much. You know what you’re like after a snifter or two.’‘I don’t know what you’re implying darling. I am the soul of discretion.’‘Mmm yes I’ve heard that one before.’‘This is very different. I have to say I just didn’t think your brother’s relationship was going to pan out with Donna kebab, ...

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“Sister Sister” by Rebecca Detti

“The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together.'William Shakespeare, All's Well That Ends WellDear Reader,I find myself tangled in the yarn of life and wondered if I could seek your good advice? You all seem like a sensible lot with lots of worldly experience. My husband is completely sick of hearing me go on and on about the matter. The last time we spoke about the subject he simply said, ‘Look darling, they’re both attention seeking c**ts. What more is there to say?’'Helpful' I replied. 'Perhaps a job in the diplomatic co...

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“The drowning woman” by Rebecca Detti

Submitted to Contest #240

It was September 1989. I was drowning in my huge new school uniform. I know a lot of parents buy a few sizes up to save money but is a sack appropriate for a first day at school? I exaggerate slightly. I was wearing my XL Navy Blazer with the school crest ‘Veritas’ embroidered on top of my non-existent right breast. My Navy V-neck jumper hung past my waist and my ridiculously long navy skirt was a tripping hazard. I remember standing for assembly in the main hall next to a girl called Denise. She had latched on to me right away, but she seem...

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“A spell on you” by Rebecca Detti

Izzy pulled up outside her gym, savoring every last sip of her latte. She couldn’t really be bothered to do another session at the gym after a hectic week at work, running the family holiday let business and running the family. Her mum was always on her case ‘you do too much, pass some stuff over to him.’ It really grated that her mum referred to her husband as ‘him’. Oh, the joys of family politics. As she slowly edged herself out of the car and into the gym, she thought of a funny line she had heard Jilly co...

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“A thing for you” by Rebecca Detti

Submitted to Contest #237

2000I first heard about Chris from my then boyfriend Luke. Luke and his college friends enjoyed affectionally berating each other and so I heard plenty of stories about Chris and his awkward loss of virginity with a girl who subsequently followed him around college as well as lots of other unsuccessful attempts with the ladies.After graduating with a 1st and commendations for his biology degree from Christ Church college, Oxford, Chris had ‘fucked off to Africa’. I think Luke was incredibly envious that Chris had escaped the ‘real world’ and...

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“Kray-zy in Love” by Rebecca Detti

Submitted to Contest #236

‘Oh, hello stranger’ bellowed a familiar voice as Tilly made her way around the maze of book displays in her favourite bookshop in town. The book selection was ok, a bit too mainstream for her liking but the café was pretty cool and the waft of grinding coffee beans was the ultimate pick me up.‘It hasn’t been that long but give me a hug gorgeous’ Tilly sank into a huge hug from her friend Vicky.‘Vic, where on earth did you get this coat? You look like Elizabeth Taylor and why is your make up always imma...

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“And the Gold Medal goes to the Queen of diplomacy.” by Rebecca Detti

Submitted to Contest #235

Clara wasn’t sure how it happened but each morning, without fail, she would wake a few seconds before her seven-year-old came bolting into her room. ‘The Usain Bolt of seven-year-olds’, as she and her hubby Toby referred to Elliott. It was almost as if she had an inner alarm clock calling out ‘brace brace’ before impact. As this happened, she always remembered the supportive and reassuring words of her colleague, Kelly, before she helped her into a taxi ahead of her maternity leave. 'You'll never sleep properly again lo...

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“Feels like home” by Rebecca Detti

draft ‘Mummy, how old were you when you went to Shebbear College?’‘I was sixteen darling, but Uncle Jimmy went to Shebbear at the same age as you.’‘Do they have lots of toys?’‘yes, lots of lovely toys and lots of lovely fields for you to run around.’‘yay.’ George then continued to play with his paw patrol toys in the back of the car.Rebecca’s husband Glenn turned to her, ‘you're very quiet…for a change.’‘Ha! Yes, m...

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“Through her own looking glass” by Rebecca Detti

Submitted to Contest #233

Please note this story comes with a Parental Guidance (PG) certificate: mum and dad, please do not read. ‘And how many sexual partners have you had?'‘Um, I’m not sure. More than ten, less than one hundred. Is there a multiple-choice option?’‘On a scale of ten to twenty, twenty to thirty, thirty to fifty, more than fifty?’‘Let’s say Fifty.’ said Alice looking at the various hideous healthcare posters on the wall behind her doctor, ‘How to live your...

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“Into the light ” by Rebecca Detti

Draft version..not completeAnd the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it notGospel of St John 1-5 ‘Was it just me or did your dad mentioned moving to the West Country a thousand times this time round?’  ‘I know I feel he is really ramping it up. Maybe they just want us nearby to look after them when they become old and crusty?’ ‘Ha. Maybe!’ 

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“A period in time ” by Rebecca Detti

Submitted to Contest #229

It was Christmas Day, 1990 at 'Mount Farm' in North Cornwall and thirteen-year-old Jemima was sure she had heard her parents stir from their slumber. She always knew it was her dad going into the bathroom because he had a knack of letting the whole household know. He couldn't do anything quietly including lock the door. He was a champion wrestler taking on ‘The Lock’. He had a multitude of other opponents including furniture which hadn't done anything to him, gadgets, even DIY projects usually lost the fight. Then the familiar sounds of f...

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“Fatto con amore” by Rebecca Detti

Submitted to Contest #228

Do you remember that advert from the eighties? You know the one, advertising canned baked beans or maybe it was a toy kitchen? I can’t really remember the point of it or what they were selling. All I remember is the sweet little girl waking up early on what I suspect must have been Father’s Day. Creeping downstairs so that her unsuspecting parents didn’t realise what culinary delight she was preparing. She puts some cold beans on a plastic plate and adds what looks like a huge jam- sponge roll next to it. I honestly don’t know whose decis...

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“Dedicated to my friend Helen” by Rebecca Detti

Submitted to Contest #227

I remember the first time I met Helen. There were eight boys, eight girls, eight bumps of all shapes and sizes sat in a stuffy room at the back of the Mercure Hotel just outside Tunbridge Wells. Kieron and I were the next unknowing victims. On entering the room which was a sea of mauve and serious interior design fail, our antenatal group leader, Miranda, looked up nervously and greeted us with ‘Hi’ but it was clear she couldn’t get a word in. A very ‘horsey’ girl, you know the type, all the stable talk but no stirrups, was making it clea...

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“The most wonderful time of the year” by Rebecca Detti

Rebecca breathed a huge sigh of relief as she cozied up with her beloved on the sofa. They both gave each other a knowing look before clinking their very full glasses of Pol Roger.‘Well, we had been meaning to save this bottle as a special reward. And what’s more special than surviving Christmas without an impending jail sentence for murdering one of them.’‘You mean, my sister and her spacky boyfriend. I agree. Cheers to us.’ Kieron was reviewing their details on the screen before...

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“Faith in N'Awlins” by Rebecca Detti

Submitted to Contest #224

As Faith sat at her desk reviewing her travel plans for the year, she couldn’t really complain. She loved how much travel was involved in her marketing role at the prestigious publishing house she worked for and she felt this year she had completed lucked out. A trip to New Orleans in April followed by a few Italian trips and Alaska later in the year. These academics really wanted a ‘good old jolly’ away from their families, with whatever shenanigans that involved.Last year at a Russian studies conference, Faith couldn’t...

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