Blane Britt

“The Simple Truth About Me” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #69

I committed my first petty theft at the tender old age of 6. My grandmother’s purse was sitting on her dresser just beckoning me to get some change so that I could send my wayward older sister Cindy to the candy store. It was close between the two of us who would have the title of black sheep of the family. When she ran away from home at the age of 13 to join the circus. Well that’s what the family was led to believe, but I knew better and why. She was pregnant and a shame and went to live with her 44 year old boyfriend and his understandin...

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“Yes, You Heard Me Correctly!” by Blane Britt

“It had been 24 years since she’d last seen it, but the place looked exactly the same,” as that thought suddenly crossed my mind. All I could think about were quotes from that book, A Tale of Two Cities. The 1859 historical novel by Charles Dickens, set in London where a man just like me found love during the French Revolution. While I found true love right after the Impact Investment ESG Banking Conference in London. London is where I met and fell madly in love with Aoife, pronounced EE-fa. I was trying to find some pet food that my fiancée...

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“Your In The Army Now” by Blane Britt

I was taken totally off guard when I received an invitation from Uncle Sam. Induction is when you are drafted, which hasn’t happened in the US since Vietnam. It used to be for 1 or 2 years. Inductees go where they are sent; they have very little choice, if any. Enlistment is voluntary. It is generally for 3 or 4 years, depending on the service. There is a lot of choice for them. First came a few days of processing: the haircut (you had to pay the civilian barber), the shots (lots of them), the uniforms (“your waist is kind of big,” a sn...

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“Reincarnation” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #61

Have you ever heard of the term reincarnation? Well let me tell you that reincarnation is the philosophical or religious belief that the non-physical essence of a living being starts a new life in a different physical form or body after biological death and transformation. It is also called rebirth or transmigration. Resurrection originally had the same meaning. It transformed into a similar process hypothesized by some religions that involves coming back to life in the same body. If you compare present times with the old times, you could se...

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“The Resurgence and Death of the Yo-Yo” by Blane Britt

I received my first yo-yo on my 6th birthday. With no one in my household being able to demonstrate to me to make the yo-yo automatically return back up to me. It sat in my toy box for 4 years.  It wasn’t until I was placed on bedroom house arrest for an entire summer for snapping or breaking Mrs. Margret’s favorite chicken’s neck Malcolm just the way “she’d” always demonstrated to me what she would do to me if I didn’t stop stealing brown eggs from her precious chicken coop on 125th Street  Harlem, New York City in 1963. If it we...

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“Post-Apocalyptic Zombies” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #60

They say if you live long enough, you'll experience everything. This short story will give credence that if you live long enough, anything is possible. If you live long enough, lots of nice things happen. If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat. We know that life teaches us how to live it if you live long enough. Life. We all do it. We embrace it, we love it, we hate it sometimes, yet no matter what happens in life, we strive to cling on to it for as long as possible. When it comes near its end, we lo...

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“We Never Thought it Would happen in a Million Years” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #60

Albert Arnold Gore Jr. (born March 31, 1948) is an American politician and environmentalist who served as the 45th vice president of the United States from 1993 to 2001. Gore was Bill Clinton's running mate in their successful campaign in 1992 and the pair was re-elected in 1996. Former Vice President Al Gore called Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz a “climate hero” Friday the 13th. When Gore introduced the governor at a three-day event in Minneapolis tied to The Climate Reality Project (The Climate Reality Project is a non-profit organization involve...

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“Movies That Left Me and You Speechless.” by Blane Britt

I was thinking if I should list all the thrilling Alien movies I ever watched or allowed them to watch me as I slept straight threw some of them in chronological order or just go with the Alien movie flow and to try an explain why some of the E. T. movies thrills us. While other Alien movies you’ve painstakingly tried to watch may want you to fine an JWP Industries Tradesman 1765 Vise 20-1/2 Jaw Width and place your head in between it and turn it until your head explodes. The one thing all of the movies have in common are about destroying o...

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“Walking Abnormalities Caused by Aliens” by Blane Britt

65 million years ago to the day, people were taught to believe that a massive asteroid somewhere between 5 and 10 kilometers in diameter struck your planet. It kicked up a layer of dust that settled all over the world, a layer that can be found today in your planet's sedimentary rock. On the older side of that layer, fossils such as dinosaurs, pterosaurs, ichthyosaurs, mother-in- laws crockasaurs and plesiosaurs were abundant. Giant reptiles, ammonites, and large classes of plants and animals all existed prior to that event, along with small...

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“Finding Romance After the Calamity” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #60

A world-ending cataclysm is common to many mythologies. The Biblical flood narrative is the best known and follows a fairly typical pattern: wrathful deity, mass destruction, surviving remnant in this case the righteous man Noah and his family. Most of us gather from these tales that life to early humans felt dreadfully precarious more so, even, than it may feel to us. Japan’s mythological account of the world on the brink of annihilation is in a class by itself. Most of the younger people today probably have never even heard of that tragic ...

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“The Stranger” by Blane Britt

It happened just right after the 2020 presidential elections. Even me being diagnosed as having Cucurbit phobia an excessive, irrational and unreasonable fear of pumpkins. Couldn’t prepare me or in other small towns in America the final results of that strange Covid-19 election. The 331,378,104 and the 22 million legal non-citizens and 12 million illegal immigrants in our country or 10.4% of our population in America was stunned completely by the winner. Just like when an unknown James K. Polk, was the question on everyo...

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“Where Am I?” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #59

I thought in some of my worst nightmares such as vividly observing an 800 lb. alligator biting off half of my right leg to the knee cap and me watching zoo visiting people laughing at me for actually trying to stop him from chopping down on my leg with one of those huge beach umbrellas, as if Bozo the Clown tried to get inside a hot wheels car was bad or the time I made a unconventional and an insane bet with my former best friend Crazy Larry that he couldn’t lay in between the train tracks as 120 car train passed over him going over 66 mile...

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“Gas” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #58

I’ve always had a job where I worked in a high rise building in New York City and Los Angeles, California. When I got the job as being an accountant for Lester and Lester and Associates. My office was located on the 40th floor. I soon discovered from way up there, New York is a beautiful city. This New York City building is an essential for anyone who has not experienced the city, because it offers breathtaking views of almost all its notable attractions. From the main deck, you'll be able to see that 1.317 squared miles patch of lush green...

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“My Descendant” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #57

I’m thinking to myself what is a descendant. I found out that it’s a person, a plant animal or cartoon character that is descended from a particular ancestor. Knowing that vital information and the understanding where I was descendant from of all people my real biological cartoon grandmother could have slept with the squinty eye Popeye the Sailor Man. Now I would have never thought that he was a make belief cartoon character created by Elzie Crisler Segar on January 17, 1929. My granddaddy Popeye the Sailor man was based on a real man.ly rea...

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“Accliamed Imposter's” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #57

I never really gave much thought as to who may have taken credit for something they never achieved or invented. I guess you can say one of the reasons why is because of the confusion I was taught whether Christopher Columbus ever discovered America or former comedienne Phyllis Diller really had a husband named Killer or Geraldine Jones who was a fictional African American character, the most famous recurring persona of comedian Flip Wilson. Geraldine was played as a sassy liberated Southern woman who was coarsely flirty yet faithful to her (...

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