The Dragon Warrior-Part 2

Submitted into Contest #58 in response to: Write a story where the power goes out on a spaceship or submarine.... view prompt

182 comments

Fantasy

 Author’s note: This is the continuation of The dragon warrior. This can be read as a stand-alone story. But, for a better understanding, you may want to read the first part.


After the tough battle with the Kaals I received the warrior’s trophy from the President. After all, I am the Dragon warrior. But, after receiving the trophy, I was given the police job. But, not inside the air conditioned police station, instead in the scorching sun as a watchman. I was saving the city from rogues and thieves. They were the only criminals I knew here and they would run away if they saw me.

On a bad day, I had come to my duty and was sitting in an old, broken chair.

“Hey, Flame. Did you see Mr.George?”Miles,the sub inspector of police,asked me.

“Hey, Miles. I didn’t see him. Where did he go?” I said.

“Okay, Flame. Carry on with your job. I will make a call,” Miles said.

He went inside the station and came back after some time.

“Hey, dude. Don’t panic, Flame. He said he was ill yesterday. I completely forgot that,” Miles said and started scratching his head while I rolled my eyes.

My routine was to be awake at mornings and nights and talk to the police in the afternoon. They were my only support and family.

That day, the news flashed,”Weaponized submarines of the country to take off tomorrow. Officers in charge, Inspector George and sub inspector Miles.”

They had left me alone again. Miles was very excited and started to frustrate me. But, I didn’t take those things seriously. 

The next day, George came to the police station.

“Are you fine?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” he said.

“Aren’t you excited?” Miles asked.

“Very much,” he said happily. He was the happiest man I could have seen in that city.

“Please take me with you,” I said.

“No, Flame. That’s not possible,” Miles said.

“Okay. George, call me if there’s any problem,” I said and went to sit on my old chair which would break anytime.

Then a huge car came in front of the police station. The policemen were amazed. A man came out of the car. He was a fat and a bald man with gold rings on all ten fingers. He was the President. 

“Get in, George and Miles,” he said.

“Wow!” exclaimed Miles.

They got in and Miles taunted me. In my anger, I wanted to take my dragon sword and chase him.

The car took off at a high rate of speed,leaving me alone in the scorching sun. On that day, there were no thefts or mistakes happening in the city and I was bored. But, not for long.

George called me, ”Flame, we need your help. The power has gone out in the submarine and a shark is threatening us. Please come as soon as possible.”

That was the one I was waiting for. I donned my red dragon warrior suit and made my keychain into a skateboard. It can change into anything.

I raced fast to the nearest beach. George had sent me the coordinates of where he was. I just followed the google maps and dived into the waters. I would do anything for my friends, even for that annoying Miles.

Wow! It was so cool to be swimming in the water after being in the scorching sun. I found the fishes, in all colours floating with their fins with ease. But, then I saw a large fish, which was attacking the old, blue submarine. No one had maintained it for years.

It was the shark. I turned the keychain into a sword. The submarine's engines were stuck. I pushed the submarine as hard as I could. The metal was very rough as it was an old submarine. But, using all my strength, it moved forward slowly and the engine started with a loud “Vrooooooooooom.”

Then the shark dreamt of a nice feast. But, it didn’t know that I would have the feast. I slashed my sword and cut it lightly on the face. It tried to attack me but I gave a kick in its eye and scared it away. It groaned in pain and went out of my sight.

I opened the upper door in the submarine and went in. Just a small amount of water came in. Okay, a lot of it came in. 

“Thank you, Flame and I am sorry for the mocking,” Miles said.

“Welcome, my friend. Don’t be sorry because I am also inside this submarine,” I laughed.

There was completely no light in the submarine and the ocean was also very dark. Miles started to get the generator ready. It would help us for a few hours until we got out of the waters.

“Thank you, Flamey,” George said.

Flamey, that name I knew. But, I couldn’t remember and I didn’t get the time to recollect. George punched me with his fist and I was transported to some other place. It was full of dragons and the ground was raging with fire.

Then George touched his chest and transformed into a man with a great physique about my age. He was dressed fully in black. He had the dragon mark on his hands. 

“Do you remember me, Flamey?” he asked me.

“WHERE IS GEORGE?” I yelled at him.

“Answer my question, Flamey,” he replied calmly.

And then I remembered.

“You are my mate on Dragon planet. Your code name is Shape Shifter. And your name is Aqua,” I said.

“Wow! You still remember me. But, from now, you are the one who would be remembered,” he said, taking out his dragon sword. That was not as powerful as mine. But, it was powerful, too. He was a great fighter.

“Hey, wait. How did you escape? I had stabbed you. Then the Kaals had attacked and destroyed the whole planet,” I said.

“I knew it. You are a betrayer. You had killed every warrior and would have killed me. I transformed into a Kaal and have been travelling with them for a few days. I arrived on earth and George interested me. So, I transformed into him,” he said, ready to fight. He was correct. I was a betrayer and a merciless person who killed all the warriors.

“But, the Kaals had tricked me,” I said.

But he diverted from the topic. 

“I know that your weapon is much stronger. So, I took some powerful weapons from the submarine,” he said. He was my best friend from childhood. I couldn’t imagine myself getting killed by my friend.

“Stop it, Aqua. I was tricked by them that you were going to destroy the planet. So, I made a decision to kill you guys. After I killed you, they had destroyed the planet,” I said.

“THAT IS THE TRUST YOU HAVE FOR US,” he shouted and took out a rocket launcher from his bag. He fired it on me without second thought. I acted fast and made the keychain into a shield. It blocked the rocket for quite some time.

“No, wait. I realised my mistake. I had saved the earth from them and travelled in their spaceship. And the power signal got cut, which made it easier for me. I slashed every ship with my sword and destroyed all the Kaals. Sorry, that I had no trust in you. But, you knew it right? I have always been cheated my whole life,” I said.

“Yeah, you have been cheated the most number of times,” he laughed and embraced me.

”Where is George?” I asked him.

”I kidnapped him and hid him in the police station itself,” he said.

”Let’s go and rescue him,” I said.

That was my friend. We touched his ring and went back to the submarine. 

Miles looked at us, "What just happened?" Aqua and I started laughing as we left the water for the sands."

The military force, along with the police, were there waiting. So was George - the real George.

"ARREST THEM," he shouted. 









September 08, 2020 17:40

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182 comments

Jesna Anna S.
17:50 Sep 09, 2020

Good Story! Keep writing!

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The Cold Ice
17:56 Sep 09, 2020

Thank you for reading.

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K. M. Carpenter
13:47 Sep 09, 2020

Once again, I loved it! You showed a side of superheroes I don't think we get to see much- their life after they emerge victorious from the big battle, the pieces they are left to pick up, their insecurity on where they fit in now that the bad guy has been defeated. Flame exhibited this brilliantly, and you did a wonderful job of showing his frustration, his eagerness to do more. Also, I quite enjoyed the added back story that was received with his childhood friend. It added more dimension to Flame, shedding further light on a situation in h...

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The Cold Ice
13:55 Sep 09, 2020

I am glad you loved it. I will definitely right the third part. Thank you for reading.

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Raquel Rodriguez
19:59 Sep 26, 2020

Nice story! I have to say though, some of the dialogue isn't really realistic. People aren't formal and they usually don't speak for a long time. Also, when the characters yell, you don't have to put all caps. It kind of gets distracting and it's unnecessary. Example: '“WHERE IS GEORGE?” I yelled at him.' You should change this to: "Where is George?!" I yelled, {add movements, such as crossing arms or pacing.} or... "Where the hell is George?!" See, if you want to make your character seem angry, I think either (CERTAIN) curse...

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The Cold Ice
03:12 Sep 27, 2020

Thanks.Thanks for telling mistakes.But,I don’t have time to edit. Would you mind liking my story.

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Raquel Rodriguez
17:08 Sep 28, 2020

Sure, but you don't have time to make simple changes to your piece?

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The Cold Ice
18:25 Sep 28, 2020

Yeah, I will make it in my main copy. Just for your information, I said I don’t have time to edit. If you had read once more, you would find the same mistakes.

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Tessa Takzikab
13:47 Sep 23, 2020

Water and Flame. I like it. It's a great story, and I can't wait to see how they convince George to forgive them. I also would love to see a story from when Flame killed out his planet or before, so we can see why Flame lacks trust. I don't know how much you know about contractions(such as I will to I'll), but if you use those, at least when the characters speak, it should help the dialogue flow better. Great work!

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The Cold Ice
05:13 Sep 24, 2020

I am glad you liked the name. I won’t let you wait... Okay, will add that scene in my next story. I am working on it. Thank you for reading.

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15:35 Sep 22, 2020

This is an amazing story! The plot was really nice and was laid thick! The only thing I noticed from both parts was that you could have stretched out the story a bit longer, and added more descriptive words. Aside from that small detail, well done!

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The Cold Ice
03:32 Sep 23, 2020

Thank you so much. I will work on it!

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Kendall Defoe
15:01 Sep 21, 2020

Keep this going with the prompts! You have a real talent and the prompts will keep you on a particular path... I need more!

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The Cold Ice
15:49 Sep 21, 2020

Thank you for reading. If you want more you may read my third one Leaf me Alone. It’s a addition to this series. Thank you.

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Kendall Defoe
23:46 Sep 22, 2020

I will...!

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The Cold Ice
01:25 Sep 23, 2020

Thanks.

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🄼🄹 🅂
21:07 Sep 20, 2020

Hi, Sahitthian. I'm here as promised. This was a great story. I tried to write this prompt, but I didn't have any ideas to continue it, so it's cool to see someone else write it. I like the cliffhanger, since it gives way for a part three if you choose. By saying that the dialogue was a little choppy, I'm repeating what others in the comments have already said. All you have to do it work on making it flow a little bit more, and you're good to go. It takes practice. Keep writing! -Mj

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The Cold Ice
04:06 Sep 21, 2020

Hi. Thank you for coming. I am glad you like the cliffhanger. Yeah, I am writing a part 3 for dragon warrior. I am working on it.

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🄼🄹 🅂
05:23 Sep 21, 2020

Great, can't wait to read it.

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The Cold Ice
05:24 Sep 21, 2020

Ok.

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Maggie Deese
16:57 Sep 17, 2020

Great story! Your plot was really thought out and well written. The only suggestion I have to work on your dialogue. It seemed a bit clunky in this story. Other than that, you did a wonderful job on this one! I thoroughly enjoyed it :)

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The Cold Ice
17:02 Sep 17, 2020

Ok,I will work on my dialogue.I am glad you enjoyed it.Thank you for reading.

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09:53 Sep 17, 2020

Needed a nice twist. Looking forward for more stories from you.

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The Cold Ice
09:58 Sep 17, 2020

Okay I will improve my twist.I will write more stories.Thank you for reading.

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Rambling Beth
16:29 Sep 16, 2020

Loved this, especially the end. I'm interested in a continuation! Good story. :)

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The Cold Ice
03:06 Sep 17, 2020

I am glad you love this and the end.I will write the third part.Thank you for reading.

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Kristin Neubauer
16:26 Sep 16, 2020

You do not disappoint, Sahitthian! I enjoyed this story as much as Part 1. I think one of my favorite parts about Flame is how all these crazy things happen to him, but he accepts them very matter-of-factly. Like when the President showed up....or when George called him from the submarine....or when he encountered the shark. He's got such a great voice. I'm looking forward to Part 3!

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The Cold Ice
03:45 Sep 17, 2020

I am glad you enjoyed it.I am glad you like when the president showed up.I will write the third part.Thank you for reading.

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11:32 Sep 16, 2020

I love all the action. This is a fun fast paced story. Great job. Your story telling is improving with each story

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The Cold Ice
11:34 Sep 16, 2020

Thank you !

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Graham Kinross
00:28 Apr 01, 2022

This was great. Will there be more?

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The Cold Ice
08:31 Apr 23, 2022

Thanks. Yes soon it will

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Angel {Readsy}
09:04 Apr 28, 2021

Vivid and lucid imagery " . I turned the keychain into a sword". You are very brilliant in creating colorful imaginations keep it up , excellent and amazing story

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The Cold Ice
09:56 Apr 29, 2021

Thank you

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Angel {Readsy}
08:56 Apr 28, 2021

Dragon on rescue mission , " I was saving the city". Up voting Up voting upvoting (。・‧̫・。).**♡(✿◕ ‿◕ฺ)ノ))。₀: *゜❀.(*´◡`*)❀.°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

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The Cold Ice
09:56 Apr 29, 2021

Thanks

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Angel {Readsy}
08:55 Apr 28, 2021

Very good , " I received the warrior’s trophy from the President"

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The Cold Ice
09:55 Apr 29, 2021

Oh sorry I have no time edit.

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Angel {Readsy}
16:40 Apr 29, 2021

That above sentence shows your vocabulary and imaginations are superb

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The Cold Ice
04:57 Apr 30, 2021

Thanks

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Angel {Readsy}
05:07 Apr 30, 2021

Please change user name plz plz

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The Cold Ice
06:00 Apr 30, 2021

That’s not my user name. It’s my real name.

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Angel {Readsy}
06:04 Apr 30, 2021

Hmmmm......

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The Cold Ice
06:05 Apr 30, 2021

Yes

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14:45 Dec 12, 2020

YAY! I love the new Dragon warrior!

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The Cold Ice
15:28 Dec 12, 2020

Thank you

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William Liu
23:03 Nov 25, 2020

Gave u a lot of points :)

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The Cold Ice
16:35 Nov 26, 2020

Thanks

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The Cold Ice
01:43 Nov 27, 2020

I too will upvote you later

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The Cold Ice
01:44 Nov 27, 2020

Umm we Can became friends

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William Liu
03:31 Nov 27, 2020

sure :)

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The Cold Ice
04:15 Nov 27, 2020

Hi

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William Liu
17:12 Nov 29, 2020

hello

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The Cold Ice
03:23 Nov 30, 2020

Wyd

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The Cold Ice
03:23 Nov 30, 2020

You didn’t written any story

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10:55 Oct 08, 2020

Hey Sahitthian, I am here as requested! I can see this story appealing to a younger audience because it is full of flashy fight scenes and high-stakes action! The story moves rather quickly, so be sure to add scenes that make the characters beloved to the reader, such as their insecurity or their humor, which you did begin in a few places. Just keep expanding on that character development and you're right as rain!

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The Cold Ice
12:22 Oct 08, 2020

Thanks.I will work on it.Thank you for reading.(would you mind liking my story)Thanks.

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Alexi Delavigne
02:10 Oct 02, 2020

While reading this and part one I kept thinking it would be cool as a comic or something:) really creative stories, keep writing!

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The Cold Ice
09:15 Oct 02, 2020

Thanks. Keep writing.

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