Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

As you might have deciphered from my depressing rants, the lockdown has been going for a long time. My friend's circle group decided to hold a group call, to reminiscence those days, when we could actually meet each other. Somehow, the topic had shifted to birthdays and stuff.

Rianna had asked me, about my birth date. She's new to our group, so I let the fact pass that she didn't remember my birthday and answered the usual. She was like, 'ooooh, it's coming soon, you must be excited.'

Yes, sure, excited to spend my birthday alone.

But, I was really doubting the part where she said it was coming soon, like soon soon?

It's not like it is already December, is it?

I asked them, but they were too busy 'oohing' and 'aahing' over some juicy gossipy news, Anaaya, she, as you already know, is like our private talking newspaper.

It was something about some celebrity or such. Not interested, couldn't be bothered more.

More later,

Love,

Sachika

****

Dear Diary,

I feel so tired and restless the whole day long, it's like I don't know what to do, but I do know what I want to do. Confusing, right?

I decided to plan my day out, like a time table. But I hate it so, doing everything, the way my timetable says so, even though I have planned it out.

Even more confusing, right?

But, can I help it, I myself am so confused, about what I know that I don't know.

Love,

Sachika

****

Dear Diary,

I feel like I am going mad. Everything I do seems so automatic and mechanical. There was a time when I used to be so eager and excited about every second of the day. But now, I feel so dreary, I dread every second of the day. You might say, I am slipping into depression, but this isn’t it. I know how to laugh; I know how to be happy. But I don’t want to be happy.

Confusing right? Well, again.

Love,

Sachika

****

Dear Diary,

Today, well, today, was rather hilarious. You know, they have released the lockdown. I had gone out for a walk, and the way, people’s gazes were sliding right off me, I decided, I was invisible.

I thought, why not have some fun and steal something from the vendor, who was being rather irritating, chasing people, trying to convince them to buy the bananas he was selling.

I dashed quickly and tried to swipe it off his basket, but unfortunately, I chose to become visible at that moment.

*Sighs*

Love,

Sachika

****

Dear Diary,

I don’t feel like going out anymore. I just feel so panicky when I see all those crowds in the mall and it feels so stuffy at home. I thought I should go for nature treks. That’s what I’ll do, I think.

I was just leafing through this diary, and I was really surprised. I mean, if anyone else was to see this diary, they would really think of me as an irritable, already-tired-of-life type of 12-year-old girl. But I surely am not so. I mean, there are days when I am sort of moody, but I am happy too on some days.

Love,

Sachika

****

Dear Diary,

I went to the local trail today; it was just great! I feel so contented. I just sat in front of the waterfall, thinking of the time that has gone by in lockdown, even though, I don’t know what day or time it is. It was just so peaceful, out there, watching how those strands of water parted on their way down, only to reunite again, but some strands I noticed paved their own way, between the rocks, and went astray from their tribe. Well, who knew I was so poetic. Anyway, I was saying, rather, writing, that, I realised, that I wanted to be like those wild strands of water. I don’t want to get into a university right after college, like all my friends. I don’t know what, but I’ll decide soon. I don’t know why, but it feels like a great load is off my shoulders now.

Ever Yours,

Sachika

P.S. - You might be surprised that we're planning our future already, but well, we're quite ambitious, I guess.

****

Dear Diary,

Sorry, I haven’t written to you for days now, I was just too busy. Yes, you heard right, actually ‘busy’.

I just remembered I had to complete and submit the DHA(Daily Home Assignment) tonight. Really, I don’t see the need of assignments, especially with everything being online. Hmph.

I know, I haven’t written to you, for many days, I am really sorry.

It might seem a bit weird, but I start missing you if I don’t write to you for a long time. It’s like I see you as a friend, even if you are inanimate(No offence). It’s just, it’s comforting writing to you about everything, even if you don’t reply to me.

By the way, I thought long and hard about my future, I have already sort of figured it out. But, tell you all about it when I got that time. I mean, I do have lots of time for you, but it’s not now, I guess? (No offence)

Love,

Sachika

****

Dear Diary,

As I was telling you yesterday, I have thought of my future.

Which is, I want to……. Gotta go, sorry

Just kidding. Hah.

My dear diary, I’ll always have time for you *gets emotional*

Anyhow, I want to be a………*Dramatic drumroll*

Naturalist.

Like, I want to just go and spend time in the environment and study the plants and stuff.

Bless me, O Great Diary, I will need your blessings.

Love,

Sachika

****

Dear Diary,

You know, like today only I discovered, that no one at all knows what month, we’re in. Not even Google. I mean, wow, we must’ve been in lockdown for quite a long time. I have decided to call it day zero and month zero, at least, until the world remembers the date. You want to know why? Cause I want to mark today as a new beginning, a new beginning for myself.

Always and forever, (kinda sentimental, right?)

Yours,

Sachika