Author's Notes: If you take offense to anything said in this story I apologize in advance
Gertโs POV
My runt of a man ainโt able to protect us so I had to get us a worthy hunting pet. The grey and yellow beast sat on a boulder late at night, watching over the edge, scanning the area. His bright blue and grey eyes watch over the people below, as they destroy itโs land, itโs home. I loosen my grip on my spear as I watch him closely. His fur blows in the wind softly and his claws stretch out and then back in. His head cocks slightly in my direction but he doesnโt react other than that. I slowly move closer, my feet gliding against the snow, nearing the boulder I stop again as the beast stares at me; He eyes me for a moment before turning away again. I keep moving closer until I'm right under the boulder.
ย I throw my spear up on top of the boulder before bracing myself. I scan my surroundings for any kind of gripping, I spot a slight rut in the rock and I grab hold of it. I pull myself up and over until I lay flat on the top of the rock. Now close enough to the beast, I grip the back of its neck. He roars out in pain, lashing out at me he slashes me with his claws. His claws sink into my left shoulder, blood starts to trickle down my arm in a steady stream. Still gripping his neck fur I pull him onto his back, his legs still lashing out, clawing out every which way. I hold him down until he calms, once his legs stop lashing, I let his fur go. He gets off his back and sits down in front of me, his head bowed to me.ย
A smile forms on my face slowly, I pat his head softly. I suck in a sharp breath between my teeth causing a sharp smack sound to come out. He stands and nudges me softly, I slowly move back to my cave. My husband stands in the corner of the cave drawing; That's what he does, He draws things and people trade food for his work. I call out to him. His head turns towards me and when he notices the beast sitting obeditaly at my side he smiles.
Homanโs POV
My woman walks into the cave and standing next to her is a big grey and yellow beast. His long teeth are sparkling in the half lit room. His grey and blue eyes are staring into me, like some kind of soul sucker. My woman did it, she found us a worthy hunter.
ย I walk over to her and smile โYou done and did it, You got us a mighty strong and wild beast. Whatโs his name?โ I grunt out, my eyes still scanning the beast.
โIโve named him Saber,โ She grunts back, her hand slips over the beast back, rubbing him softly.
โWhy Saber, Isnโt that rather ordinary?โ I grunt with an eyebrow raised.
โConsidering that we ainโt normal, Iโd rather have something ordinary in my life.โ she grunts with a slight huff.
โWe are normal right?โ I grunt moving over to the slap of rock in the middle of the cave, sitting down.
โNo we ainโt Homan. Who does the hunting?โ
โWell you do,โ
โRight, and who protects us?โ
โYou and Saber do now,โ
โRight, and who cooks?โ
โI do, what are you getting at?โ
โOkay and who cleans?โ
โI do, whatโs your point Gret?
โMy point Homan is that, our roles are switched. Iโm the man in this cave and youโre the woman. People talk ya know, always saying that you ainโt even a man, and that we are like our next door neighbors.โ
โThem two women?โ
โYes, the two women Homan. They think weโre like them, we ainโt normal. So for once I wanted to be normal, so I got Saber for you. You will learn how to hunt with him, and Iโll learn to cook and clean.โ
โBut I donโt like hurting animals, Iโd rather drawโ
โWell, itโs either me or your drawings. Your choice, pick wisely.โ
I stare at her as she walks away, my confusion is clear on my face. I donโt wanna pick, I want both. What's wrong with the way we live, I thought she was happy. My mind goes wild and I get up and walk over to my rock slabs. I grab my tiny piece of charcoal and start to draw.
Saberโs POV
I watch as my new humans fight, the woman is yelling about being normal and the man is grumbling about her being happy. The whole time Iโm watching in confusion, humans arenโt idiots like I thought they were. They care about each other just like us sttโs do. They hunt and communicate just like we do. I stand and walk out of the cave, I look around briefly until I spot my new master, and I chase after her. I stop next to her and walk along with her. She looks over at me and places her hand on my neck, she smiles softly wiping her tears.
โHey, Saber, Shouldnโt you stay with your master?โ she grunts to me with a cock of her head.
I move my mead under her hand and just rub my head back and forth.
โOh, you think iโm your master?โ she grunts again
I nuzzle my head against her hand again
โWell then, I guess iโm your master.โ she says with a smile.
We keep walking for a while, she is quiet the whole walk with a perplexed face. I leave her alone knowing that is what she wants, at least at the moment. Once we get to the cave she walks in and sits down on the slab of rock in the middle of the enclosement. She clears her throat, catching Homans attention, and she starts to speak.ย
โIโm sorry for trying to make you pick,that wasnโt right of me.โ she starts to say but Homan interrupts her
โDonโt be sorry, you were right, I should try harder to protect us. In order to do that maybe I should use Saber to help me. I want you to be happy and I realize now that I have to do what I love and protect the person I love.โ he grunts out softly as he takes a knee in front of her.
โThank you, I could help more around the cave if you want.โ She grunts back in reply.
โYes, please do.โ He says with a slight chuckle.
I sit softly in the opening of the cave watching my humans fondly.
Author's notes: I will say these specific characters aren't homophobic it's just to get the point across
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91 comments
Ps. I love Marvel movies:) Who's your favorite hero? Who's your favorite villain?
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My fav hero is Captain Marvel and my fav villain is Ultron.... Yours?
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I can't choose:( but my main is Thor and villain has to be Loki
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OMG Yes Loki is the best villain/good guy ever... I put good-guy because he isn't that bad anymore. Thor is pretty dope but when they made him fat it kinda pissed me off lol. Also didn't like how they dissed the Hulk.
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Yea he wasn't all bad, omg yess fat Thor was NOT it at all, he was more like drunken fat Thor, Yea poor Hulk I feel bad because he's really smart but he just can't control it at times, I thought it was funny when he didn't want to come out when Banner needed him, I really wanna watch WandaVision but sadly I dont have Disney+, was it just me or did u also cry throughout the whole series?
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Totally not just you lol I cried like half of every movie lol. My fav Hulk moment was when he and Loki were in the Avenger Tower and Hulk just grabbed Loki and smashed him back and forth like a friggin doll. I was laughing so hard I choked. I wanna watch it too but as of right now my guardian won't let me... Yeah, they did Thor dirty. When Hulk got destroyed by Thanos I was so ready to throw hands...
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๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐
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I love this!! Marvel based stories are soooo fun!! I see that below you wrote that Captian Marvel is your fav and yess I love her too!
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I think it would actually benefit the story if one of the characters was more closed-minded (or even outright homophobic) because then you could counter it with a stronger message- that it is ok to live the way you like (and love who you love) even if it will be considered "weird" to outsiders. There could have been a more pronounced "change of heart" moment. Other than that I really liked how you described hunting/fighting at the beginning.
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Like the different perspectives. Good read
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๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐
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Okay, 3 things. 1. This story was AMAZING! I absolutely loved it. 2. ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐ 3. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING MY 60th FOLLOWER! :D
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3 things :) 1. Ofc you're amazing 2. Yay thank you for reading my bio :) 3. Thank u so much
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Loved the story, especially the composition (the triptych thing). As I read it, a clever take on the "What will the neighbours think" dilemma. The mention of the two women next-door was an effective narrative tool, and it is sad that you feel you have to use a disclaimer because of that. When a writer expresses personal, homophobic ideas, THEN I get offended. You do not do this here, not in the slightest.
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Glad to hear that you loved my story :) Ik that sometimes people will be super petty and hate on you for no reason so I put a disclaimer just in case.
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๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ WELL DONE MY FRIEND WELL DONE ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ IF I WERE MR. PHELPS I WOULD GIVE THIS ( IF THIS WERE A THING IN GRADING) AN A++++ ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ. This really does resemble the short story " To Build a Fire" by: Jack London
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Thank You! I'll be honest with you I didn't even read it like he told us to... I just took the prompt you gave me and went with it lmao.
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Yea I was like ( before I read it) It was nice to put the author's notice. then I started to read and I was like yea the little note was necessary cuz I could see how someone would get offended. ( cuz the LGBTQ+ thingy) but overall I like the way you set up the POV. I support the LGBTQ+ group don't get me wrong ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
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Thanks :) Ik some people get offended easily (grandparents) so I put it there in case they read it. I am part of the LGBTQIA+ group so yeah...
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Ahh, amazing story!
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The disclaimer seems unnecessary. Worrying about being politically correct as a writer is counterproductive. Bad press is still press, and anyone with sense will know when youโre using something as a tool, and when youโre abusing it. And anyone without sense canโt be convinced otherwise. I liked the story. Thank you.
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I know I just feel like some people can be overly sensitive... I'm glad you like my story :)
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:)
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๐ณ๏ธโ๐
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Hey Ace, just wanted to say something about the form you filled out in my bio! If you could do me a favor and fill out the form underneath the first one, read your character description, and give me feedback based on it! :) I want to make sure your character is what you want! (I may have to change some stuff later on depending on the story)
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I'm in love with it... If you want you can change me from quiet to Loud and Extroverted but still somehow mysterious... if that makes sense
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yes def makes sense! tysm almost everyone chose to be mysterious and quiet and dangerous and stuff lol XD
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XD lol loved that I made you laugh. Had to add some of my latino mom experience with the sandals and the spell-spouting (honestly idk how they talk so fast lolll)
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FR tho I have a friend who is Cuban and when she gets pissed she goes off... over here sounding like Eminem on rap god lmao.... One time I asked her what she said and she replied with "a spell from hell" I was low-key scared af lol... I have seen her get a sandal thrown at her... I was trying really hard not to laugh tbh... And yeah people really like being mysterious for some reason idk... also if you need me to die that's fine as long as I get to be in it for a longer amount of time...
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idr, I have a puerto rican mom with a little cuban in her blood... lets just say I hide the sandals XD lollll a spell from hell yesssss thats exactly what it is lollllllllll ofc, I prob wont need to kill you off since plenty of people dont mind dying, but if you do die, it shall be VALIENT and HEROIC
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Yay :) also if you could make Rain super selfless... maybe that could be a weakness of hers... idk
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I love how you switch perspectives all so easily; it makes it really interesting how you can change between view points!
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STORY DRAFT IS UP please go comment on it ๐ณ๏ธโ๐! (new emoji nickname ig lol) it's not finished, I only wrote a little bit so yea...
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Will do!(Loving the nickname ;])
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tyyyy! :D
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I HAVE FOUND A SOLUTION. I can't send u a google doc but u can send one to me and I can access it!!!!
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I can? How?
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Make a blank google doc and send me the link here, I should be able to access it
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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1w_-jOkV4qc6rXhfTY1De-8rzxGAkNtWQo32gRubtcvE/edit?usp=sharing Idk if this will work but give it a try...
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I requested the access. lmk when its granted.
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It won't let me... I'm restricted as well... ugh...
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(ANOTHER CONTINUATION) ok so now we got the main details sorted out... I was thinking we could basically have the whole escaping the box thing happening and the dialogue for when they meet... well, one of us can write it on here or something, or I can make a story and put the title as DO NOT READ or something idk?
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Hmm....We could make this into a book instead of two separate stories... Ik how we could try... Here is a link... try it out if it asks you to make a contract tell me first and then don't... https://reedsy.com/r/joselyn-liggins
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And for a title iแธฟ thinking maybe 'The awakened'
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I love it! Also I logged in now what lol
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What do you see....
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my future... lol jk jk I see some type of reedsy thing about books and stuff...
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Lol... so it would seem that in order for us to write together from beginning to end... you have to become a professional ghostwriter... And I would have to pay you... or something like that... it says that you can make your own price and all that but still in order for us to work together we would have to be 18 and older... it sucks tbh... so I guess we stick with the original plan... :(
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(This is a continuation of our previous conversation) ok so I was thinking that with the whole box thing that maybe instead of being separated based on what they believe like that, maybe more on who they are?? (lgbtq+, racist, non-racist, homophobic, etc) it's ok if you don't agree it's just that the previous box idea was a little confusin for me 0.0
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I totally agree it would be way easier just to have all of the same people in one box. I looked back and honestly, I was confused too lmao. We'll go with your idea :)
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yeah and maybe diff sections or something separated? Idk im still figuring this out XD
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What kind of section? and it's fine so am I lol
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like....... idek XD. like i think we could still do the virtual reality thing in the boxes, but like we separate them based on if theyre lgbtq+ or racist or something yk? sorry if im not making sense lol XD
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We could write this under the "Set your story in a post-pandemic world, where the effects are still felt even as your character attempts to move on" contest, and the way that it all started was when the present day problems became too violent and everyone was killing each other because of it, and the government separated those they wanted to keep and killed off those that made it too complicated. There's two boxes: lgbtq+ and homophobic, and each of the people in the boxes are separated by male, female, and non-binary: other religions and sk...
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No, I'm in love with this idea... We should roll with this completely... Okay, so where is this taking place... somewhere in North America, Europe, Asia, or Africa? My character is white... Can I make him Irish? yk the whole shebang with like green eyes, red hair, freckles? In virtual reality, it's like a regular life? do they have jobs and get paid, can cut their hair, go to jail, etc.?
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