441 comments

Fantasy Teens & Young Adult

November 28th, 2031


Are you kidding me? It hasn't been that long since it happened and Father is already with someone new. I'm pretty sure it's only been a few days since then, what the heck? I guess I'll try to keep this updated.


November 30th, 2031


Father had told us all today how much he 'loved' this lady, I think he said her name was Zia. Did he end up falling in love with her at first sight? That wouldn't really surprise me that much, I'm pretty sure that's how he met Mother. He wants us to go meet her in a few hours or so.


December 1st, 2031


Father had invited Zia to our home and we ended up having some lunch with her that day, though I at least liked the pizza he made. Though let me ask you something, do you remember that evil stepmother from Cinderella? I'm not saying she was completely like that yesterday, though she at least seemed a bit rude and stuck up.


My older sister was feeling a bit ill that day so she had been in her room and wearing pajamas, Father was alright with this though Zia seemed to hate that. Father had explained to her why my sister wasn't out there, I saw an angry look in her eyes.


I don't know exactly what she did but she went into her room, we could all hear some noises coming from there, then my sister came out and joined us. I don't know what she did to force her to come and join us, though I have a feeling it was really bad. I don't think Father really noticed though.


December 3rd, 2031


He did what?! Yesterday he had been acting really excited and nervous the whole day, he left close to midnight and finally came back a while ago. This would have been fine with all of us if he didn't gather us up and explain what happened.


"I have some good news for you all" he had started off while pacing back and forth. He didn't tell us immediately though, apparently, he wanted us to try and guess what the 'good news' was.


Though all of us did a terrible job with guessing what it was, with my younger brother guessing that our Father bought us a baby lion for some reason. I like the way he thinks though that would have been amazing.


"No, I'm getting married!" I swear he squealed like a little kid getting a Christmas present or any sort of present in fact. Why?? He just met this lady and now after a few days, he proposed to her?


December 5th, 2031


It's only been a damn week since that stupid dragon ended up killing Mother, and he's already moved on this quickly. I remember that day fully I don't even think he tried to save her. He's never even really mentioned Mother after her death.


He had brought Zia back to the house today before we ate some dinner, now he was telling us that he wants everyone here to start calling her Mother. None of us have called her anything, except my little brother, I had heard him say something like "See you later Mommy"


I guess I could forgive at least him, after all, he's only six and doesn't understand a damn thing about life. Heck, he doesn't even understand what marriage is, he just knows that our actual Mother and Father were the reason we're here.


December 8th, 2031


She's still here and won't be leaving for a while, apparently, Father wants each and every one of us to have a day with her. I guess so that we could start to bond with her so we won't have any rough relationships.


Yesterday my little brother had his bonding day with her, I guess it went well because he came back smiling and was eating some ice cream. It was even his favorite kind of ice cream, Strawberry.


Though the day before that was my older sister's bonding day with her, right after we all ate lunch Zia had dragged her out the front door. I could tell it didn't really go well for her, she came back looking freaked out and nervous, while Zia on the other hand, had a large grin on her face.


In a few hours or so, I'll have my little bonding day with Zia, I just hope it goes well. Maybe I could convince her to not marry my Father anymore.


December 11th, 2031


Welp, we went to the mall and while I was walking down the stairs, she pushed me and I fell down about six stairs. Then after that fun experience, she tried to give me a chicken, which I'm deathly allergic to. I think this lady was trying to kill me, don't you think?


I had at least tried to tell Father what happened during that little bonding trip, but of course, he didn't really believe me. He said I was just being dramatic and that I accidentally fell down the stairs, and that she didn't know I was allergic to chicken. Though I know she knew I was.


Though I did manage to learn a couple of things from her while we did that, first the wedding is in a few days. Though the main thing I learned is her...traditions as I should call it.


I didn't really learn that much but here's a major one, apparently for something (though I never learned what, she didn't explain fully) they're supposed to sacrifice the youngest child for something.


Though I'm sure my little brother isn't the youngest out of everyone here, after all, I think Zia even has a much younger daughter.


December 20th, 2031


The wedding is tomorrow, not only that but we'd have to deal with our first holiday together, and I have a feeling that it won't go well. During this whole time, I still don't understand how he could have moved on so quickly. Does he not miss Mother at all...?


She had been the sweetest Mother I could ever have, one of the things she would always do was on the weekend take us to see a movie and she'd always know what to do to cheer us up. Though I think you already know how Zia is...


December 21st, 2031


They both said yes. He said yes. She said yes! He told us all, "You'll get used to it" but I know that isn't true. None of that will ever happen.


I have to try and think of a plan, I need to try and think of what to do. Maybe I should try to get away from those two. Yeah, That sounds like a good idea. If anyone ends up reading this, goodbye.

November 23, 2020 22:32

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441 comments

Sunny 🌼 🖤
02:31 Nov 25, 2020

R.I.P main character, she will be missed (by someone idk who)

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B. W.
02:43 Nov 25, 2020

What do you mean? the main character/narrator never died

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Sunny 🌼 🖤
02:48 Nov 25, 2020

No I mean- k lemme re-phrase that. I have a feeling she'll be dead soon if you ever post a part two.

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B. W.
03:05 Nov 25, 2020

Why do ya think she'll be dead in a part 2?

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Sunny 🌼 🖤
03:09 Nov 25, 2020

Hmmmm, Zia seems to be slightly murderous, plus the whole sacrificing children thing as a family "tradition". It's all very suspicious in my opinion.

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B. W.
03:18 Nov 25, 2020

Even if they did the tradition of sacrificing a child, it would be the YOUNGEST kid, so the main character/narrator wouldn't be the one to even be sacrificed, though your right with Zia being like that- what do ya think about the father?

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06:07 Nov 24, 2020

Lovelyyy!!! I loved it!!! I read this twice, although I wished for it to be longer, but its still really cool!! Keep up! I wish I could write like you! :)

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B. W.
06:50 Nov 24, 2020

thanks, im glad ya liked it and stuff ^^ did you have a favorite part or anything like that?

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07:29 Nov 24, 2020

I liked the whole thing!

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B. W.
07:51 Nov 24, 2020

"I wish I could write like you" oh come on, no ya don't- i think the way you and some others on here write and all that are way better than me. I still feel like most of my stories aren't that good.

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10:27 Nov 24, 2020

gUrl. Please. Everyone loves your stories!!! I know a saying, "eat by your choice, dress by others". Aka, you don't see how beautiful you/your stories are!! We do, because we read them as a reader! A good author always criticises themselves. Your stories are AWESOME!!!!

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B. W.
18:42 Nov 24, 2020

aw

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Yolanda Wu
02:26 Nov 24, 2020

You wrote the narrative voice really well! It was distinct and even though she talks about a lot of things, you can tell there's still a lot being left unsaid behind the words which gives the story some wonderful depth. You wrote the characters well, especially the dad and the stepmother. My one little piece of criticism is that since it is labelled fantasy, and you do mention a dragon killing the mother, maybe define the world a little bit more. Is it a fantasy world, or do dragons just exist in our normal world? Maybe a sentence or two o...

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B. W.
02:58 Nov 24, 2020

It's a fantasy world, they don't exist in the normal world. Though I don't see why in it, she'd fully explain the fantasy stuff, she's only talking about her stepmother and her father, yes its about her mother and stuff, though I wouldn't wanna go and say after the dragon part or something else "You may be thinking "Dragon?" and you may be thinking "Is this kid crazy" I'm here to tell you no, you see in this world, dragons and other things exist." Sorry if I'm sounding a bit rude or something, I don't mean to be. Though still thanks for that...

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Yolanda Wu
04:21 Nov 24, 2020

No, no, it's perfectly okay to defend your choices as a writer. I'm merely giving my own opinion, it's your choice whether you want to take it on or not. And I wasn't saying you have to fully explain the world, just maybe give a little more of an indication that the world isn't normal. You don't have to explain what a dragon is or anything because I'm sure everyone would know that - you could just say "that's what happens when dragons roam free" or whatever. But once again, I was just giving a suggestion, and partly because I'm just curious....

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B. W.
04:31 Nov 24, 2020

I didn't want to really focus on the dragon though that much or at all, that's why the only thing mentioning the dragon is when she reveals that her mother was killed. I didn't want to keep bringing it up like "If that damn dragon hadn't killed my mother, then Zia wouldn't be here..." or "Mother would have done this instead of what Zia did, though because of that stupid dragon..." or something like that if ya get what I mean, because some other people would want more details about it or something.

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Yolanda Wu
06:11 Nov 24, 2020

As I said before, it's your story, and however you decide to write is totally okay. I understand why you wouldn't want to go too far into the dragon thing because the story's not focused on that - it's about the main character and her stepmother. It's probably because I read a lot of fantasy, so when something's labelled fantasy, I'm automatically looking for the element of that, so when dragons are mentioned, I immediately want to know more. But I totally understand your choices, and what I expect from a story is different from what other p...

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B. W.
06:52 Nov 24, 2020

I mean- there could be a sequel to this at some point where she looks for the dragon- like maybe to kill it, though I don't think i'd be able to even keep it in the diary format when I do wanna keep it like that, so I'm considering it but there's a chance there wont be a sequel. Well technically as well, Zia wasn't really her stepmother in the story until the very end of it, for most of it Zia was just the main characters Father's girlfriend.

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I. F.
02:52 Dec 13, 2020

hey B!

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B. W.
03:49 Dec 13, 2020

how are ya?

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I. F.
04:03 Dec 13, 2020

Not too shabby, but kinda tired. How've you been? Have ya started winter break yet?

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B. W.
05:08 Dec 13, 2020

winter break starts on the 19th for me

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I. F.
05:11 Dec 13, 2020

HA, I'm off on the 16th! Not really sure what I'm gonna do with the pandemic, you have any suggestions? I need some fun things to do in the snow or I'll go crazy with boredom.

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B. W.
05:13 Dec 13, 2020

does it snow a lot where you live or something? the last time it actually snowed and stuff where I am, it was like 5 or so years ago :/

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23:35 Nov 24, 2020

I loved this story! The diary entries added a nice vibe to it! Great job! I just noticed one thing, "I remember that day fully I don't even think he tried to save her" (Entry December 5th, 2031) Next time try putting a period in between the "fully" and "I", although a comma could work too. Other than that, 10/10! 😁

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B. W.
00:35 Nov 25, 2020

Thanks, im glad ya liked the story and ill try to fix that ^^ did you maybe have a favorite part or anything like that?

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18:39 Nov 25, 2020

Hmm, I liked the ending, you kept it vague, but hinted that she was gonna run away.

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B. W.
18:49 Nov 25, 2020

would you want a part 2 or something?

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19:52 Nov 25, 2020

Hmmm.. if you did a part 2, I'd suggest to keep it vague on what she was doing, and reveal her actions throughout the story.

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B. W.
19:53 Nov 25, 2020

I'm not exactly sure if i will do a part 2 though, i think it would be a bit more mysterious and stuff if it only had one part.

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