134 comments

Science Fiction Fiction Drama

The hotel event room will be crowded, and noisy, devoid of furniture except for a row of tables pushed against the back wall, serving exclusive red and white wines, and a wide selection of lavish cheese, imported from all across the world. Couples, some wearing crisp black suits and some donning long, flowing dresses, will dance stiffly around you. Sleek robots of different shapes and sizes will zoom around the room, cleaning spills and refilling the cheese platter. All of it will scream wealth. 


You will sip red wine tentatively, hating the sharp, acidic taste of it. But everyone here has a drink or is dancing, and you’ll stand out doing neither, so you will hold the thin stem of the wineglass in your hand. You will be fearful of your wineglass being crushed if you grip it too tightly, so you hold it too lightly. It will slip from your fingers and shatter with a muffled crash, breaking into a million pieces. You will lurch back, but not fast enough. Red wine will soak the front of your suit, soaking through to your skin, an ugly stain that reminds you almost like a map spreading across your shirt. The people around you will shake their heads in dismay, and everyone will steer clear from that spot, walking around it like it’s not even there, until a janitor bot mops it up and scrapes the glass pieces, glittering in the light, into a trash can. 


Tears will blur your eyes, whispers will break out among the people closest. You were supposed to blend in. You’re clumsy, it will already be obvious you don’t belong here before the wins spills, and you’ll be painfully aware of it. Which of the other guests will have had to sneak in through an unlocked back window to access the engagement party?


Sure, it’s the engagement party of the richest man in the world, so it’s strictly private, invitation only. 


But you’re Ralph Eisenberg’s biological child, given away and adopted at 6 months old. You will not even know that until the week before this engagement party. Even after the lengths you went to to be at the engagement party, you still won't sure why you're there. To talk to Ralph- your dad?


You’ll turn and flee, not knowing where you’re going, heading for the only door you can find. You will push open the door and emerge in the hotel lobby, startling the lobby receptionist and the two unformed security guards that stand before the gold revolving doors. The door will close behind you, and suddenly all will be quiet and you’ll breathe deeply, relieved. 


You were raised in a normal family. Middle-class, loving. For the thousandth time since you found out about your biological father, you will think about how different you might be if he had never gotten rid of you. 


You don’t fit in with these types of people, and you’ll know it. 


“Can I help you?” The receptionist will ask. You will have stopped crying while running, the tears starting to dry on your face as you shake your head. 


“I’m okay, thanks.” You will shift uncomfortably in your soaked clothes while the receptionist tries not to stare. Then you’ll head for the hotel’s main doors, thinking you’d better call a taxi and leave, reaching for the phone in your pocket. But as you’re watching the doors turn, waiting for your chance to step in, someone will bang through the door to the hotel event room in the same way you will have done only a few seconds ago. You will turn to look at him. He will stand against the door, but won’t lean against it. You will keep watching him, and you won’t know why. 


You will feel like there’s something off-putting about him, something verging on uncomfortable. You will watch him curiously, as he seemingly stares into space, and you’ll realize with a start that his eyes seem empty, devoid of life. And his movements. They’re smooth at first glance, but as you watch you will notice the slight jerk of his arms, the way each movement seems to be made up of little ones. You will shiver. He will turn around to head back inside, and adjust the collar on his shirt. You will glimpse a flash of green at the nape of his neck, and then he will be gone, and you’ll be left staring at a swinging door, wondering if you imagined it. 


You will notice the receptionist staring at you. 


“Are you sure you’re okay, ma’am?” 


“Yes, yes, sorry.” You will switch directions. “I was actually heading back inside.”


The receptionist will give you an odd look but then shrug and return to their work. 


As you open the door, the noise of the party will reappear. You’ll scan the tops of the crowd, covering your front with your arms to try to hide the wine stain, looking for the man. 


But he blends into the crowd too well. With his black hair and black suit, he could be anyone. 


You still won’t be sure why you came back instead of leaving and will turn to head back into the lobby. But then you’ll see a flash of green, in the corner of your eye, and spin around. It’s just the light flashing on a wine bottle, but he will be the one pouring himself a glass, standing nonchalantly in front of the table. You will approach him nervously, not sure why you are doing it or what you’re going to say. All you will know is that you’re drawn to this guy, the odd way he moves and the green light at the nape of his neck. 


He will turn to you and smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling, and it’s a smile that wouldn’t set any passer-by on edge. But you will have gone there to understand him, so you will notice the way his eyes don’t move, his eyeballs don’t flick from side to side or up and down, fixedly in the middle of his eye. It will unnerve you, but you won’t leave. You will realize that he’s waiting for you to speak, and will straighten your spine and clear your throat nervously. 


“Hi!”


“Hi, how are you?” His voice is low and gravelly. You will search for any hints of impatience in his tone, anything that could give you a hint to what he’s thinking, but you’ll come back with nothing. His voice is so monotone, you will think jokingly, that it could’ve come from one of the square-shaped assistant bots that roam around your house. 


It will be like a jolt down your spine, right then, when you realize that one of your Dad’s companies probably makes those robots. 


“Hey, your collar is a little crooked,” you will say, hoping he’ll shift his shirt again so you can see the back of his neck. You will sidle next to him at the table, while he stares at the cheese, his eyes not moving, so that you’ll be able to see the back of his neck. He won’t adjust his collar, and instead will grab a piece of cheese and put it on a plate. You will notice that he will not have drunk even a sip from his wine glass “Why are you telling me this?” Again, the same robotic tone. You’ll be filled with the feeling that he doesn’t want you here, he wants you to go. Why else would he talk like this, with clipped, short sentences?


Your suspicion will be confirmed when he abruptly turns away and disappears into the throng of people. You’ll be left feeling bruised, but you’re not the type to give up, especially because you don’t care what this guy thinks of you, anyway. 


You will push past people to tap on his shoulder. He will turn around, but he won’t show even a flicker of recognition. 


“Sorry, I didn’t catch your name,” you will say, trying to sound light and airy. 


“Hephaestus. Yours?”


You will give him your name absently, mind spinning. Hephaestus, you’ve heard that name before.


“That’s a beautiful name,” you will say, trying to keep the conversation going. You will be confused by the way he doesn’t seem to show any signs of emotion. No tensing of the back, no blush. Even his breathing, so steady. 


“Thank you. I like your name as well.”


There will be silence, you panicking and trying frantically to find something to say. 


“Will you be there for the wedding?” You will say, knowing that it will let you know if you will see him again. “They’re having it quickly, aren’t they. Engagement party today, wedding in only a month.” 


“Yes. Yes, I am going.” 


“Cool,” You will respond hesitantly, and this time you will be the one who turns and escapes into the crowd. 


You will sigh heavily. But he isn’t what you will have come for. You square your shoulders and scan the room again, but this time for Ralph. You will see him, finally alone for what might be the first time all night. Your chance. You’ll start making your way through them, calling out to him. 


“He-” but then you’ll stop, remembering your wine-stained clothes. You won’t even have anything prepared, nothing to say to a guy that preferred to pretend you were never there, as he rose to fame. 


But it’s too late. His head will swivel towards you, and you’ll take a breath in anticipation.


His eyes will cloud over. “Who- are you?”


Back to the lobby, but you won’t stop this time. You will keep running, through the rotating doors, pounding the floor with your shoes. 


***


The next time you will see Hephaestus will be at the wedding. The wedding will be easier to get into than the wedding, just waiting until a guard was sufficiently distracted before sneaking past. Hephaestus will be talking to Ralph, dressed in a suit identical to the one you last saw him in.


Your eyes will narrow, seeing the way Ralph seems to like him. Hephaestus is not who he says he is. 


“Hey!” You will have practiced his name, wanting to get this right. “Hephaestus!” 


He will turn to look at you and you’ll wave. As he lifts his hand to wave goodbye to Ralph, you’ll finally get a clear view of the green light. A small circle of light, at the base of his neck like it was before. 


“Hey, what is that thing? That light?” You will say, not being able to stop yourself. You’ll immediately regret it when he stares at you blankly. 


Hephaestus will hesitate, for too long. “What light?” He will say. You will decide to keep prompting him, leading him outside the party, hoping he’ll be more likely to tell you his secrets in private. 


Because you will have figured him out, lying in bed. 


He’s a robot. An Android. 


You will remember the moment when you figured it out. But now you want to know why he’s here, what he’s doing. 


As you push open the door, you will realize how much time has passed since the meeting started. The bitter wind will create goosebumps all over your skin and you’ll shiver. The sky will be a velvet sheet, dusted with glitter. You will notice how unfazed he will seem by the wind. 


But of course, you will think. He’s a robot. 


“So, what’s the green light?”


He will smile and say again, “what green light?”


You will be irritated. “The one at the base of your neck.”


His hands won’t move, and you’ll think that if he was normal, they would’ve moved at least a little. 


You will take a step forward when he feigns ignorance. “You know what I’m talking about.”


You’re not sure if androids can understand tone, but he seems to get it. 


“You’re a robot, aren’t you?” You will press, pushing him.


“No.”


You will look him square in those unfeeling eyes, which you will think of as cameras now, scanners, and smile a toothy smile, that borders on a sneer. “What do you want with my… Dad?”


You flinch at the way calling Ralph Eisenburg “Dad” feels like glue on your tongue, sticky and wrong. 


He will show no emotion at this, and you will hate it. You will hate how you can never get a read on this guy, how easy it is for him to conceal his body language. 


“I don’t want anything with your Dad. Why are you asking me these things?”


You will sigh, bitterly. You will realize that he’s not giving information voluntarily, so you will attempt to scare him. Let him know how much you’ve figured out, imply that you know more, even though you don’t. 


“You want the ring.”


Everyone will have known about the wedding ring Ralph has planned out for Jenn, his fiancee. You will have seen it in real life. Huge, sparkling, with a thick band and chunky, rare gemstones sprinkled around. You will think it’s hideous. 


It will be worth $100 million. That’s how you will know why Hephaestus is here. Why else would such a brilliantly designed, never-seen-before type android show up to one of the richest men on Earth’s party?


“How will you get it?” You will demand, stepping forward again.


“You know too much already.”


Your head will snap up to meet his eyes, wondering what that means, when your eye catches on a flash of silver in his hands. You will stumble back, and he’ll punch you, right in the throat. But punches don’t draw blood, do they? A dull ache. Pain. Pain. Pain. It will be hot, like fire, and you’ll collapse on the ground, your mouth filling with blood. It will gush out of you, hot, as you try to scream on the sidewalk, making a guttural noise. You will see him escaping behind the corner of the building just as the first security guard hears your noises and runs over, gun at the ready. You won’t be able to hear him, your vision will get darker, and everything will fade to black. 


That’s how you will die.




February 27, 2021 03:31

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134 comments

Amaya .
03:36 Feb 27, 2021

1. I've decided I absolutely hate future tense (writing in it, at least.) But I thought it would work for this story. What do you think? 2. Writing an android was harder than I expected because I wasn't exactly sure how human-like I wanted it to be. For this story, I had to write a human-like thing without showing human-like, involuntary movements. It was weird, to say the least. 3. Critique this really hard please! I'm not super proud of this and I know there are probably many mistakes that I made (future tense related or otherwise). If ...

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Riya 🌺
18:07 Apr 13, 2021

You did an amazing job on the future tense! I love how there is so much suspense and mystery in it. I really didn't expect the turn of events at the end.

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Zilla Babbitt
15:43 Feb 27, 2021

Girl, you get better and better every time. This was absolutely fascinating. I'm just reading back over your mystery story and comparing the two, and though the mystery one was good, this was great. It's tense and vivid and descriptive. Well done! The future tense is a little forced but it ties really well with the ending. So I would keep it. My only other suggestion would be to give Hephaestus a tie to the mc or the dad, other than wanting to steal the ring. Maybe he was raised by the dad in the mc's stead, or grew close to him, something...

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Amaya .
18:02 Feb 27, 2021

thank you! yeah the mystery one was definitely not my best, I'm glad you like this one :) definitely, I don't think future tense is my thing, but maybe I just need more practice. Ooh, that's a good idea (to give him ties back). I don't think I'll be able to edit this one, but I'll keep that in mind for future stories. personally I hate the smell and taste of wine, but there are people who love wine which is always a mystery to me. Thank you! Yeah, my mind was so blank that week haha I totally get that! Writing a novel is hard because ...

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Wha!!!! The ending is so creepy!!! I loved how you were creative with your prompt! You did really well! LOved it!

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HI AMAYA!!!!! *Sorry, I'm weird...

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Niveeidha Palani
01:33 Apr 01, 2021

I think it works, for this story. Don't worry. ;)

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Niveeidha Palani
03:35 Mar 01, 2021

Creepy. You nailed the ending, had me shivering absolutely at the end. Enjoyed this. I have a story out if you're interested.

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Amaya .
04:23 Mar 01, 2021

Thank you!

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Niveeidha Palani
11:10 Mar 01, 2021

Aw, no problem

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Kathleen March
16:01 Feb 27, 2021

Writing a story in the future tense is a real challenge, especially when trying to be consistent. You accomplish this, to a great extent. I am not certain if the main character, the you, is an android or not, and when in time the story is set. Can androids have children? Do they have blood? This story is not short, and flows well, 98% of the time. Still, it seems like it could be unfolded into something longer. Nice to see correctly-written English! A really good effort to tackle a hard prompt.

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Amaya .
18:03 Feb 27, 2021

Thank you! Yeah, I think some of my worldbuilding elements were a little off, so I'll keep that in mind. I think so too! This was fun to write so I wouldn't mind extending it someday Thank you for the review!

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Kathleen March
04:03 Mar 01, 2021

So why were they off? Were you in a hurry? Needed to proof but didn’t? No criticism at all here, just asking. I personally work more with historical settings as opposed to fantasy or sci fi, which is why I ended up taking the term android in an allegorical or metaphorical sense. Or letting the narrator play with it. On the way, though, I learned a lot about androids and am now planning to read the first novel where the term is used. Always adding new information, aren’t we?

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Amaya .
04:25 Mar 01, 2021

I was definitely in a hurry this week, it took me around three days just to write the first draft (I have no idea why), and I'm pretty busy in general. Oh, that's really cool! I think I definitely see that in your stories. Yes, definitely! You never stop learning, really.

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Laiba M
15:57 Feb 27, 2021

Amaya, I LOVE this!!! You wrote future tense perfectly and it was a GREAT choice for the story! Minor grammatical issues, but overall, I really, really liked this!!! My favorite parts were definitely the beginning and the end!!!

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Amaya .
17:58 Feb 27, 2021

Ah thank you Laiba!

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Laiba M
12:26 Feb 28, 2021

Of course!! Also, I want to ask you a random question. If you could be the main character of any short story, what would you want to be like? Not really physical, but more personality-wise. I also wanted to ask you which chain coffee shop you think is best!~

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Orenda .
16:00 Jan 15, 2024

hi Amaya! I'm not sure if you'll see this, but I miss you! Hope you're doing well and still writing (because obviously??) :D

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Orenda .
16:43 Apr 03, 2022

Amayaa 😩

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Amaya .
21:30 Apr 03, 2022

HI!

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Orenda .
15:08 Apr 09, 2022

heyyy how've you been? i absolutely miss this place! Feels dead like always though hahaa.

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Amaya .
04:27 Jun 15, 2022

im sorry i didn't respond in so long, i haven't been on here in forever! i feel so nostalgic for when we used to talk and write here

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Ariadne .
18:56 Nov 22, 2021

OMG AMAYA The number of 2nd POV stories that I've read can be counted on one hand, but boy, this doesn't disappoint! I loved this sm!!! <3 How are you, btw? It's been a hot minute since we last chatted and I. MISS. YOU. SM!!!

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Amaya .
00:57 Nov 30, 2021

out of all the notifications I expected to see when I checked my notifs, this was last on the list... I MISSED YOU!! it's been forever. and thank you for the nice comment :) I'm doing well, but the question here is how are YOU?! I want to hear everything you're willing to share omg, tell me about your life or literally just anything <3

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Orenda .
15:07 Nov 19, 2021

hollaa

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Amaya .
01:01 Nov 20, 2021

hi!

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Orenda .
18:10 Nov 20, 2021

hey! how've you been? discovered anything new?

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Amaya .
00:54 Nov 30, 2021

trying to find new hobbies, just seeing how things go :) trying to focus primarily on work, though, which I am procrastinating doing by being on here how are you? how's it been? anything new and interesting in your life?

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Orenda .
18:12 Dec 03, 2021

that's good! i've been buuusy. I still took out time to write something which I did submit here. so if you wanna read it, you're most welcome :p but i must warn you, it did not go as expected. i started doing art again. I left it in May, but picked it up a month ago. I got a pen tablet, so I'm trying to upgrade my digital art skills. I have a smol tbr too, though i don't plan on reading my books any time soon. have you read any new book? I read a couple of thrillers online. I recommend no exit by taylor adams. it blew me off!! i acciden...

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Amaya .
05:29 Jan 18, 2022

that's cool! i recently started playing the guitar and hopefully i improve and actually continue it :) I'm glad you got into art again i recommend the book "the song of achilles!" it's really really popular but for good reason; i loved it sorry it took me so long to respond <3

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Ru .
03:06 Nov 18, 2021

amaya, we haven't talked in so long it's criminal and I've come to change thaaaat 🎵😉

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Amaya .
05:59 Nov 18, 2021

i agree, and i'm glad that it's not true anymore ;) how have you been? never asked ab ur pronouns btw, so sorry about that are you into music? if so, recs? have you been writing much recently? i noticed we both haven't posted a story here since around february/march earlier this year. i can't believe it's november already, oh how much i feel like i've changed over just eleven months...

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Ru .
03:20 Nov 19, 2021

1. i've been well, hun! you? 2. she/her 😉 3. sort of? i mean i don't consciously listen to it, but i either like sad, classical music or upbeat, motivating soundtracks -- depends on my mood. 4. yes! only. . .I've switched lanes and am focusing on my poetry lately. i feel like that has always been my true calling and i was putting off on it for so long. after all, my writing leans more towards prose anyway; maybe that's why my stories never read quite right. 5. what have you been up to lately?

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Amaya .
00:51 Nov 30, 2021

1. same! working on a bunch of stuff, definitely feeling overloaded with things but just for the next few weeks :) 2. okay cool! 3. ooh yes that's cool, classical is underrated, although I don't know any pieces because I tend to listen to those youtube compilations haha 4. your stories read beautifully, but I'm so glad you found your calling, your stories were always so poetic! 5. I had a holiday break recently, but getting back into things is a lot harder than I thought it would be, considering the holiday was so short... I've just be...

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Orenda .
14:17 Sep 14, 2021

hey :D

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Amaya .
23:55 Sep 15, 2021

hi omg i've missed you! how have you been??

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Orenda .
15:49 Sep 17, 2021

hii! I've been doing reallyy good. how about you??

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Amaya .
18:56 Sep 19, 2021

That's awesome! I don't know how covid is where you are but I hope you and your family are safe and you're able to go out and do stuff again :) I've been good! Big changes to my life recently, so im adjusting to that. Good changes, though! At least, I think. So far. Rediscovering Taylor Swift, somehow. No idea why it took me this long, but I don't mind being stereotypical if it means I get to listen to Lover <3. My obsession with Glass Animals doesn't look like it's slowing down anytime soon, though...where are you with music currently?

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Orenda .
15:32 Sep 21, 2021

aw we're finally talking, aren't we? I just realized how much I've missed you guys TT and yeah, my family is safe and sound. I hope yours is too! yay, that's awesome! I really like TS, more than before haha. I've been obsessing over Sang chi's soundtrack. I watched the movie, obsessed over it, listened to the entire soundtrack, obsessed over it. And I've been taking out time to make music too which is a surprise because I never thought I'd be taking it seriously. Definitely not a pro, but practice makes everything perfect. So yeah! And I r...

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Amaya .
01:05 Sep 24, 2021

I've missed you guys too! I like thinking about that October/November 2020 (I still can't believe it's been a year) time when everybody was so active. Me too! I haven't watched Shang Chi yet (waiting until it comes out on Disney+, but I'm so so so excited). I'll listen to the soundtrack! That's so cool! Have you been making it digitally or playing an instrument/singing? Yeah, nobody's going to be a pro in the beginning. haha, I'm not sure if the doc would work out just because of timings

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Vayd Danish
15:31 Nov 09, 2021

aha sorry for intruding here but i agree, glass animals are really good! also hi

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Amaya .
01:02 Nov 14, 2021

glass animals is the best! my taylor swift obsession is only getting worse...but i still haven't gotten sick of ga and don't think i will anytime soon! what songs have you listened too?

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Palak Shah
14:34 Aug 08, 2021

Great use of the prompt and the ending was amazing. Could you please read my latest story if possible :))

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Laiba M
01:55 Jul 28, 2021

Hiii Amaya!!! I've been off of Reedsy for almost four monthss T-T How have you beennnnn????

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I LOVE YOUR BIO

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Amaya .
01:14 Jul 03, 2021

WHICH PART???? TY :DD

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ALL OF IT ACK

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Vayd Danish
13:17 Jul 01, 2021

hi :)

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Amaya .
15:30 Jul 01, 2021

Vayd, hi! I haven't talked to you in such a long time How have you been (honestly)? I hope things have been going well for you, but if they haven't I'm here :D Are you deciding to stick around this time? Or is it a brief visit? From my perspective at least, this app has really slowed down an insane amount from when you first left. I'm sure others would agree. How has writing been? I haven't written anything since my last story (February!), though I've tried. I don't know what's wrong. Sorry for bombarding you with questions, I'm exci...

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Vayd Danish
16:55 Jul 01, 2021

Me either. I've been fine :) I think I'll stick around. I need to get back into, like, consistently writing. I miss writing. Life's just been boring without it. Maybe a slow down is what we needed? I don't mean to be insensitive to all you guys who lost your points (which is just odd to me), but honestly it seems much calmer now. Ah, not great. Haven't written much since leaving. Ah, I noticed. Something's wrong for me too, but I can't place it. Just put it down to a full calendar, I think. It's no problem :)

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Amaya .
21:08 Jul 01, 2021

Hey I get it, I'm the same way :] I miss writing so much too, yet every time I try to write, I'll write a paragraph, delete it, and then run away from my computer. Weirdest thing. Me too! I haven't been on the website lately either, maybe it's the motivation I need. Meh, the points didn't bother me at all. I think the only part I didn't like about losing all my points was that people didn't visit my account as often. Are you still a Marvel fan (if you ever were)? For some reason, I remember having a conversation about Marvel.

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Vayd Danish
01:33 Jul 02, 2021

Got it :) Ah, I get what you're saying. Understandable. Makes sense. Exactly that, yep. Yep, as always :)

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Amaya .
01:14 Jul 03, 2021

Have you watched Loki, the new tv show? :D

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Amaya .
03:42 Jul 20, 2021

Just wanted to restart this thread here :D LOKIUS. Big companies have a way of making characters seem like representation without actually having to show it on-screen. WOAH. That's such a cool idea, I really like that. Imagine Marvel did that. Isn't there another theory where the guy at the end of Loki isn't actually Kang? Because I'm pretty sure (I could be wrong, though) that he never stated his name. I know Kang was the guy in the comics, but Marvel could decide to change it around. I'm not exactly sure how it works, I just think its c...

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Vayd Danish
04:54 Jul 20, 2021

Sounds good :) Yeah, true. Thank you! I know, right? But getting RDJ back would be super expensive + the CGI would be difficult for the concept I have in mind + it seems a bit unrealistic now, I guess. Just like a hasty rewrite to bring back the Iron Man fans (yes I critique my HCs, why do you ask). Still, a cool idea. I know he never stated his name but I think the casting for Quantumania already declared Jonathan Majors would play Kang, so either Marvel is baiting us or genuinely moving on with the plot.

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Amaya .
00:05 Jul 21, 2021

:) That's true, but I love hearing HCs no matter how unrealistic they are. Ohh, okay okay. I'm excited about the Quantumania movie too, I think it's coming out in September.

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Vayd Danish
05:06 Jul 21, 2021

This September? I thought sure Marvel's estimate was in the ballpark of 2023.

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HALP I’M BORED MAKE ME LESS BORED QUICCCCCCCCC

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B. W.
00:01 May 29, 2021

Hey, how have you been? I don't think we've talked for a while, sorry about that.

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