216 comments

Fiction Funny

Wednesday, October 24

~ 8:30 a.m. ~

You walk down Robert Street with your mocha latte in hand. Taking small sips of it at a time, you vigorously stomp across the wet, puddly street; you know your red stilettos were a bad choice of footwear. You feel crappy walking through puddles in stilettos.

A bright yellow taxi honks restlessly at you. You look up from under the pink umbrella and see that the walking light has the red hand. Darn it!

You lightly jog the rest of the way across the street and stop at the sidewalk with a puff. You're not too fond of this bustling, busy, grumpy city. But nevertheless, you have a good office job and a best friend who cares for you. And your fluffy cat named Tickles. Who doesn't love a fluffy cat named Tickles? Come on.

"Bread, miss?" a man at a storefront says to you. "We have rye, pumpernickel, white, wheat, banana, cranberry orange, blueberry zucchini, pita, brioche, baguette, sourdough, focaccia, naan, ciabatta, sun-dried tomato, panettone, tortilla, flatbread, challah, crouton, cornbread, scone, English muffin, Texas toast, matzo?"

Sheesh! Who knew there were so many kinds of breads! You politely decline and are on your way. Only a few more blocks to Hamill Printing. You wish you had a car or had at least waved a taxi...

The rain starts to pick up. You fasten your raincoat's zipper and pick up your pace. Oh, if only you had known it was going to rain this hard! And to think the weatherman said "A light drizzle, folks."

You stuff your phone in your pocket, not wanting it to get wet.

~ 9:00 a.m. ~

You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding and finally reach Hamill printing. Stepping inside, you feel the maybe-too-warm blast of air. You hear the distinct stomping of feet and sipping coffee sounds you hear five days a week.

"Top of the morning, to you, Clara!" Mr. Borowski, your boss, greets you. You notice he's wearing a black suit with a green tie. Fancy. You greet him back with a small "Hello," and take long strides to your work cubicle.

Once you arrive at your cubicle, you toss your Louis Vuitton purse from eBay under the desk and set your work bag on the floor.

You open up your work bag and pull out your MacBook.

Logging in, you open up your email and sigh. 493 emails. In one night? You delete and mark most of them as spam, and read the important ones. Some from Miles, Grammarly(you roll your eyes at this email), your mom about Thanksgiving preparations, Betty Crocker, and, of course, Mr. Barowski.

Peggy Muller, your friend and co-worker, comes by to say hi. You two chat for a moment and Peggy walks back to her cubicle, coffee in hand. You make a mental note to get coffee during lunch break.

Once you finish with your emails, you open a new tab and type in youtube.com. You find some relaxing spa music and start listening to it as you fill out some surveys, file a few bills, and finish up your resume; you are trying to get a new job as a photographer for Times magazine; you've been applying for months now. After all, your best friend, Miles, works there as a journalist, and it's been both of your dreams to work for the renowned 5-star magazine company.

You hope you get the job.

~ 11:30 a.m. ~

Lunch eventually comes after what seems like ages of typing. you grab your purse, get up, and decide to go to the soup cafe across the street. Better to walk than to have to pay for a taxi in this expensive city.

The rain has cleared up, and you saunter across the street alongside butling strangers. You be careful and hold your purse tight.

Once you are safe across the street, you open the door to the cafe, and a bell rings in excitement.

"Ah, my best customer," Mrs. Rhoda, the owner, holds out her hands and engulfs you in a warm embrace. She slowly pulls back and asks you what you'd like.

"I'd like the usual. Turkey and swiss on toasted rye and a medium tomato bisque, light on the pepper," you say nonchalantly. "And a small coffee. I'll definitely need it for the work I'm doing."

Rhoda chuckles softly and you look around the quaint cafe; it's pretty plain for a New York City cafe. Nevertheless, it's five-star and you don't know anyone who dislikes it.

You notice a mother and two identical girls at one table. The girls are eating grilled cheeses, and their mother is eating a Caesar salad. You make a mental note to have a chicken salad sandwich for dinner.

"Clara?" Rhoda calls, interrupting your train of thought.

you walk over to Rhoda and take the brown paper bag and sturdy disposable cup, pay Rhoda, and head out the door.

"Thanks, Rhoda!" you beam. Rhoda gives a warm smile and takes the next customer's order.

~ 1:15 p.m. ~

Oh great, you think. More work. Mr. Barowski has just assigned to you the worst job that you hate: organizing your file cabinet. Bills in one drawer, files in another, sign-up sheets in another, and vice versa.

You know it's still a nasty mess, but hey? Who cares? Definitely not you. You just like to procrastinate when it comes to cleaning.

you delete the email and click the inbox button: 2 emails.

One is from Times.

~ 3:45 p.m. ~

You have finally finished the dreaded file cabinet to your satisfaction. Now to read the email from Times. Your hopes are to the extreme level. No despair, baby bear, your mother used to say when you were little. How could this be happening to you? It is a dream come true. You sit there in disbelief, unable to process the news. How wonderful!

The email tells you that you have been accepted and your first day of work will be Tuesday of next week. All you need is a camera and some other things. Perfect, you have a Canon EOS 5D Mark III. Oh, joy!

But first, you will need to tell Miles.

Aaaaaaand... your boss.

March 16, 2021 23:50

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

216 comments

User_2443 0967
23:51 Mar 16, 2021

Ok, for real, what would you say to your boss? :D

Reply

Sarah A
23:46 Mar 19, 2021

Your character seems polite so “I got this great opportunity to work at the Times. I’ll be leaving in 2 weeks” would suffice.

Reply

User_2443 0967
13:01 Mar 20, 2021

Haha, yeah! Thanks! ps, would you like me to leave some feedback on 1 of ur stories?

Reply

Sarah A
14:05 Mar 20, 2021

Thank you for doing that! I appreciate that you did!

Reply

User_2443 0967
18:02 Mar 20, 2021

Np!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Sarah A
14:05 Mar 20, 2021

Thank you for doing that! I appreciate that you did!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Sarah A
14:05 Mar 20, 2021

Thank you for doing that! I appreciate that you did!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 3 replies
Show 1 reply
Carmen Rose
23:48 Sep 11, 2021

Tbh, I'd literally just quit the same day. No use stretching it out, I think that getting straight to the point is the easiest way.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
Jasey Lovegood
23:20 Mar 18, 2021

Hai hai- my Reedsy Cast series is out, ur character isn't in the first one, but I have some good ideas for her. Check it out if u want! :D

Reply

User_2443 0967
00:19 Mar 19, 2021

Yayyy!!!! I'll check it out!!! :))))

Reply

Jasey Lovegood
00:23 Mar 19, 2021

Awesome, thank you!

Reply

User_2443 0967
01:14 Mar 19, 2021

Np!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Maraika!!! 😎
16:53 Mar 26, 2021

Hahaha I love your profile picture! I love Cat noir

Reply

User_2443 0967
18:12 Mar 26, 2021

OMG YAYAYAYAYAAYAAYYYY I NEED TO START A CAT NOIR CLUBBB

Reply

Maraika!!! 😎
18:28 Mar 26, 2021

OMG YUSSSS!!!! I WILL JOIN

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Sarah A
23:50 Mar 19, 2021

I love this story. The details are amazing. Love the bread part especially. And the street names. Finishing a resume at work - bold. The soup café scene made me remember my favorite soup/sandwich place when I lived in a bigger city. I’d like to hear a little more about Miles. He’s referenced only a couple times so I sometimes forgot who he was. Can you take a look at my story for this prompt if you have a chance?

Reply

User_2443 0967
13:01 Mar 20, 2021

Mayve I'll make a second book lol! TYSM for the feedback!!!! Ofc I will!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
23:59 Mar 16, 2021

You brought me right in with that pure AESTHETIC at the beginning. Your format was really interesting, and I like the creativity. Good story!

Reply

♥ Juliette ♥
00:03 Mar 17, 2021

I agree, Ethan!

Reply

00:11 Mar 17, 2021

Lol I saw that ur new. I LOVE ur profile, but I think it’s a reference that I don’t understand.

Reply

♥ Juliette ♥
00:38 Mar 17, 2021

Still working on it; what do you mean?

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Sia S
15:08 Mar 26, 2021

Hey! #DUMBCLUB!!! ~people who are so dumb, they're smart~ Founders: Sia and Danny! Oh gosh, lol only i didn't think ppl would actually pit it in their bio, loll. OHMILORD A CAT OHFOSHWOWILOVEPETSAHHHHHH LEMMETHINKKKK Pluto ⭐ Midnight Shadow ⭐ Eve ⭐ Candy Luna Magic Storm ⭐ Raven Comet ⭐ ⭐ are my favs Do you know kotlc?

Reply

User_2443 0967
15:17 Mar 26, 2021

OMGGG I LOVE ALL THOSE HEKING NAMESSSSS ofc i put it in my bio cuz its so true like- keeper of the lost cities? never read it, but heard of it. Why? :)

Reply

Sia S
16:52 Mar 26, 2021

HAHAHA YAYYYYY haha, tysm timber Yeah! OHH GUUURRRLLL YOU ARE MISSING OUTTT OHMILORD SIS NOOO YOU HAVE TO READ ITTTT I LOVE ITT THERE ARE SO MANY FANGIRLS OH GOSH YOU HAVE TO READ IT ITZ WONDERFULLLL

Reply

User_2443 0967
18:16 Mar 26, 2021

SFKDGHEKXD OKIE I'LL GET IT FROM THE LIBRARYYYYY OMG IM STARTING A MIRACULOUS LADYBUG CLUB WANNA BE IN IT???

Reply

Sia S
19:41 Mar 26, 2021

FNGNSGNYMDYN YAAAAAAYY MIRACULOUS LADYBUG? HAVENT HEARD OF IT, IS IT A BOOK? AHHHHHHHHGG I YOT SO MANY BOOKS TR IN THE SUMMER VACAY

Reply

User_2443 0967
02:13 Mar 27, 2021

NO ITSA SHOW AND OMG SO GOODDD SEASON 4 IS IN APRIL TWO NEW MOVIES THIS YEAR(AWAKENING AND SHANGHAI) AND THERE'S A ANEW YORK SPECIAL AGGHHHH THE SHOW WAS EMANT FRO 9YEAROLDS BUT THERES LIKE ADULTS AND TEENS OBSESSED I FEEL LIKE MORE ADULTS/TEENS WATCH IT THAN KIDS XDDDD

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
10:37 Apr 26, 2021

YES A MIRACULOUS FAN. FINALLY. LET US TALK ABOUT HOW DUMB YET PERFECT ADRIEN IS ALSO SEASON 4 EP 3 BECAUSE HECKING SHE TOLD ALYA- AND THAT S6 AND 7 IS CONFIRMED!!!!!

Reply

User_2443 0967
12:41 Apr 26, 2021

OH MY GOD YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS FKJGADFJGKFHNGFKGNADFKJGNDFJNGALKJ YAYAYAYAYAAYAAYAAYAYAAYYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAA OMGGGGGFDGZDFGH<ZDKJFNGSKFZJDGHKRG OMG STOPPPPPP HES SO PERFECT AND SO STUPID MY BABY BOIIII OMGGGGG AHHHH YASSSSSSS 6 & 7 ANDDDDDDD SHE TOLD ALYAAAAA AHHH SHANGHAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII can you see this? https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/Cei6Wagt6bXSAI2Qnljd2H3enXodODJtBgfQJK1pZZBqs6AGnto5_PJZMm7LdB8RG7AJuO-betArClHaiz9S6Yhc0hYiyVyTLeROIXp__M09pSNhzOIbY_K_8owtdGo-Qvcq3W2qB20

Reply

13:52 Apr 26, 2021

WAIT WHAT 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 OMG WHAAAAT I DONT HAVE TIKTOK ID HAVE NEVER KNOWN OMG TYSM

Reply

User_2443 0967
15:05 Apr 26, 2021

I DONT EITHER MY FRIEND SENT ME THE SCREENSHOTTTTTTT AHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NPPPP ANYTHING FOR A FELLOW MIRACULOUS SIMPER FANNNNN-

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
00:04 Mar 23, 2021

A lovely look into an ordinary person's life. You are brave writing in the second person. And you have achieved it well. There are a couple of typos, Times magazine (but perhaps that was intentional) and 'butling stranger'. Some sentences don't begin with a capital letter. However, you capture the mundane beautifully, the feeling of walking in the rain and the tediousness of filing and you also leave the reader in no doubt about the joy the email brings. Oh, and the bread reference was wonderful. A lovely story. Thank you for liking my stor...

Reply

User_2443 0967
00:33 Mar 23, 2021

Omg, Thanks so much! I feel appreciated whenever people do things like this. You're so kind! -Timber

Reply

06:18 Mar 23, 2021

You are most welcome. I signed up for another writing competition at the same time. We couldn't have ours read by others unless we commented on the work of three people first. We comment, we get commented on. I thought this competition was like that too, but evidently not. I comment a lot, especially if I can offer a different perspective or suggest grammar alterations. I did grammar in primary school. It comes in handy now. I have to remember to write for the internet. I think my stories might be too blocked up. Best wishes, Timber, from...

Reply

Show 0 replies
06:17 Mar 23, 2021

You are most welcome. I signed up for another writing competition at the same time. We couldn't have ours read by others unless we commented on the work of three people first. We comment, we get commented on. I thought this competition was like that too, but evidently not. I comment a lot, especially if I can offer a different perspective or suggest grammar alterations. I did grammar in primary school. It comes in handy now. I have to remember to write for the internet. I think my stories might be too blocked up. Best wishes, Timber, from...

Reply

Show 0 replies
06:18 Mar 23, 2021

You are most welcome. I signed up for another writing competition at the same time. We couldn't have ours read by others unless we commented on the work of three people first. We comment, we get commented on. I thought this competition was like that too, but evidently not. I comment a lot, especially if I can offer a different perspective or suggest grammar alterations. I did grammar in primary school. It comes in handy now. I have to remember to write for the internet. I think my stories might be too blocked up. Best wishes, Timber, from...

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 5 replies
Show 1 reply
♥ Juliette ♥
23:52 Mar 16, 2021

Ooooooohhh I like this! The perspective is cool, and I love all the different breads lol!

Reply

User_2443 0967
01:04 Mar 17, 2021

Thanks, Juliette! Maybe, we can do a collab soon, since you're new? :)

Reply

♥ Juliette ♥
12:53 Mar 17, 2021

Ooooh, I'd love to!

Reply

Show 0 replies
♥ Juliette ♥
12:53 Mar 17, 2021

For this prompt? I like the saving city one.

Reply

User_2443 0967
13:05 Mar 17, 2021

K, I'll share a doc with youuuuuu

Reply

♥ Juliette ♥
13:08 Mar 17, 2021

Yayyy ok

Reply

♥ Juliette ♥
13:31 Mar 17, 2021

Actually can we do one next week? These prompts aren't really my vibe...

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Akshara P
16:14 Jan 14, 2022

I HEARD YOU LIKE MIRACULOUS LADYBUG- but uh, not more than me. ;) whats ur favorite episode in season 4 so far?

Reply

User_2443 0967
17:01 Jan 14, 2022

omg nooo i stopped over the summer... i am so sorry!

Reply

Akshara P
19:09 Jan 14, 2022

oh my gosh! why though? too busy? :(

Reply

User_2443 0967
20:44 Jan 14, 2022

nah, i just felt like i should move on bc i am getting a little old forit, yk? it also got sooo boring ik everything that was gonna happen yk?

Reply

Akshara P
05:26 Jan 15, 2022

Season 4 was everything but boring... Adrien found out Shadowmoth was his father... he got akumatized again. There were 2 identity reveals, Alya and Luka know that Marinette is ladybug. but i understand, yk? :)

Reply

User_2443 0967
18:28 Jan 15, 2022

ohh yeah

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Akshara P
16:08 Jan 14, 2022

Hey Lucia! :)

Reply

User_2443 0967
17:01 Jan 14, 2022

heyyy

Reply

Akshara P
19:09 Jan 14, 2022

what do you really, think about reedsy?

Reply

User_2443 0967
20:43 Jan 14, 2022

what do you mean?

Reply

Akshara P
08:15 Jan 15, 2022

idk. there are some good people, and the- not so good ones. all the downvoting, hate, what you you think about it? why'd you leave? if you don't mind me asking...

Reply

User_2443 0967
18:29 Jan 15, 2022

i left bc i was frankly tired of the drama and downvoting... it was all so silly. i also left bc all my good friends left as well.

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
18:17 Sep 14, 2021

Hello! Were you Timber before? Jaggger thinks you left.

Reply

User_2443 0967
13:35 Sep 17, 2021

Read my bio! :)

Reply

16:37 Sep 17, 2021

So you are?

Reply

User_2443 0967
18:35 Sep 19, 2021

Yup!

Reply

12:17 Sep 20, 2021

Yay!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
KED KED
15:36 Apr 27, 2021

Lovely story! But also...how could she say no to all that bread. I've never had blueberry zucchini but NOW I NEED IT.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Cookie Carla🍪
13:42 Apr 21, 2021

"gurl go getchu some hawt diggity dawgs from the dam snack bar-" I don't even think I'm breathing properly after this one^^^ 😂😂😂 It sounds like something my gRaNnY would say on tha real😂

Reply

User_2443 0967
15:21 Apr 21, 2021

dslkufhadlfhakfhad https://assets.change.org/photos/4/wl/tw/ygWLtWMySAHFXuR-1600x900-noPad.jpg?1595372300 my face rnnnnn--

Reply

Cookie Carla🍪
15:32 Apr 21, 2021

😂😂😂omg ur so funny vvv https://www.canva.com/design/DAEcTy7WCD4/EldbMr8XAh9A_aoXvykKQQ/watch?utm_content=DAEcTy7WCD4&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link&utm_source=sharebutton

Reply

User_2443 0967
16:40 Apr 21, 2021

Ty~

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
00:44 Apr 21, 2021

heyloo

Reply

User_2443 0967
02:11 Apr 21, 2021

yuhhhh what's poppin aerin

Reply

18:26 Apr 21, 2021

lol um uh school???? (Don’t mind me, just ignoring my homework in my free block and logging into Reedsy on meh school iPad...) XD Wbu? Hru?

Reply

User_2443 0967
12:37 Apr 22, 2021

omg sameeee XD i'm so tired ahhhh oh i have a computer for school ;) anyways-

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
22:31 Apr 20, 2021

So glad you're feeling better!!!!

Reply

User_2443 0967
23:17 Apr 20, 2021

Tyyyyyyyy :DD

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Cookie Carla🍪
19:01 Apr 20, 2021

Heyo!! Can you read my story "Sign of a Haunt"? It was the first story last week that I threw out because I had HORRIBLE Writer's Block😭. I think it turned out pretty great and I'd love to get feedback :DD

Reply

User_2443 0967
23:17 Apr 20, 2021

Yaassssss ofc :D

Reply

Cookie Carla🍪
13:13 Apr 21, 2021

Tank yous!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
18:09 Apr 17, 2021

Love your bio! Me too!

Reply

User_2443 0967
22:49 Apr 19, 2021

Im sorry wdym 'me too'? TYSM THo!

Reply

22:27 Apr 20, 2021

I agree with it :D

Reply

User_2443 0967
23:18 Apr 20, 2021

Hahahahaahaaaa imma tater tot

Reply

14:24 Apr 21, 2021

Yepppp

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Cookie Carla🍪
21:07 Apr 15, 2021

Heyo!!! Bucky Barnes told me to shout you out in my bio so I did. Congratulations!! She also said that you are one of the best writers on Reedsy. YAY!!! I also heard that you've been down in the dumps lately. I cannot say that I am sorry as I don't know what's going on in your life. I can say that I hope everything gets better. Just... don't give up. It may not seem like it but you are here for a reason and someone needs you. I need you :) You rock!!

Reply

User_2443 0967
01:59 Apr 16, 2021

Aw yay! Carla... your bio says your in hs, right? well, I'm younger than you, older than 12. i feel like lots of people my age are going through this, but this is really unusual for me. ttytytytytyty for your support. i really have no idea how to talk to my parents about this :')

Reply

Cookie Carla🍪
13:01 Apr 16, 2021

YAYY!!😊 Yes I'm in hs... so you're 13? How to talk to your parents about Reedsy writing?

Reply

User_2443 0967
13:03 Apr 16, 2021

Heheh, yeah. You got me! Nonono about the weird feelings. I'm feeling better as i listen to some uplifting Christian music and talk to these strangers here on Reedsy. Tysm for your kind actions, Carla!!!!

Reply

Cookie Carla🍪
13:05 Apr 16, 2021

Teehee XD Ohhh well soon it may get better. You just have to be patient :) No problem!! Just a overthinking Libra over here :DD

Reply

User_2443 0967
13:11 Apr 16, 2021

Hahaa, yeah just a question-hating scorpio over here ;) once again, Tysm!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Palak Shah
10:12 Apr 15, 2021

I love the way that you have written this story and the take on this prompt Great profile pic btw Could you please read my latest story . Thanks :)) ~Palak Shah

Reply

User_2443 0967
13:01 Apr 15, 2021

Ty, ty, and ofc! :) -Timber

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
RBE | Illustration — We made a writing app for you | 2024-02

We made a writing app for you

Yes, you! Write. Format. Export for ebook and print. 100% free, always.