216 comments

Fiction Funny

Wednesday, October 24

~ 8:30 a.m. ~

You walk down Robert Street with your mocha latte in hand. Taking small sips of it at a time, you vigorously stomp across the wet, puddly street; you know your red stilettos were a bad choice of footwear. You feel crappy walking through puddles in stilettos.

A bright yellow taxi honks restlessly at you. You look up from under the pink umbrella and see that the walking light has the red hand. Darn it!

You lightly jog the rest of the way across the street and stop at the sidewalk with a puff. You're not too fond of this bustling, busy, grumpy city. But nevertheless, you have a good office job and a best friend who cares for you. And your fluffy cat named Tickles. Who doesn't love a fluffy cat named Tickles? Come on.

"Bread, miss?" a man at a storefront says to you. "We have rye, pumpernickel, white, wheat, banana, cranberry orange, blueberry zucchini, pita, brioche, baguette, sourdough, focaccia, naan, ciabatta, sun-dried tomato, panettone, tortilla, flatbread, challah, crouton, cornbread, scone, English muffin, Texas toast, matzo?"

Sheesh! Who knew there were so many kinds of breads! You politely decline and are on your way. Only a few more blocks to Hamill Printing. You wish you had a car or had at least waved a taxi...

The rain starts to pick up. You fasten your raincoat's zipper and pick up your pace. Oh, if only you had known it was going to rain this hard! And to think the weatherman said "A light drizzle, folks."

You stuff your phone in your pocket, not wanting it to get wet.

~ 9:00 a.m. ~

You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding and finally reach Hamill printing. Stepping inside, you feel the maybe-too-warm blast of air. You hear the distinct stomping of feet and sipping coffee sounds you hear five days a week.

"Top of the morning, to you, Clara!" Mr. Borowski, your boss, greets you. You notice he's wearing a black suit with a green tie. Fancy. You greet him back with a small "Hello," and take long strides to your work cubicle.

Once you arrive at your cubicle, you toss your Louis Vuitton purse from eBay under the desk and set your work bag on the floor.

You open up your work bag and pull out your MacBook.

Logging in, you open up your email and sigh. 493 emails. In one night? You delete and mark most of them as spam, and read the important ones. Some from Miles, Grammarly(you roll your eyes at this email), your mom about Thanksgiving preparations, Betty Crocker, and, of course, Mr. Barowski.

Peggy Muller, your friend and co-worker, comes by to say hi. You two chat for a moment and Peggy walks back to her cubicle, coffee in hand. You make a mental note to get coffee during lunch break.

Once you finish with your emails, you open a new tab and type in youtube.com. You find some relaxing spa music and start listening to it as you fill out some surveys, file a few bills, and finish up your resume; you are trying to get a new job as a photographer for Times magazine; you've been applying for months now. After all, your best friend, Miles, works there as a journalist, and it's been both of your dreams to work for the renowned 5-star magazine company.

You hope you get the job.

~ 11:30 a.m. ~

Lunch eventually comes after what seems like ages of typing. you grab your purse, get up, and decide to go to the soup cafe across the street. Better to walk than to have to pay for a taxi in this expensive city.

The rain has cleared up, and you saunter across the street alongside butling strangers. You be careful and hold your purse tight.

Once you are safe across the street, you open the door to the cafe, and a bell rings in excitement.

"Ah, my best customer," Mrs. Rhoda, the owner, holds out her hands and engulfs you in a warm embrace. She slowly pulls back and asks you what you'd like.

"I'd like the usual. Turkey and swiss on toasted rye and a medium tomato bisque, light on the pepper," you say nonchalantly. "And a small coffee. I'll definitely need it for the work I'm doing."

Rhoda chuckles softly and you look around the quaint cafe; it's pretty plain for a New York City cafe. Nevertheless, it's five-star and you don't know anyone who dislikes it.

You notice a mother and two identical girls at one table. The girls are eating grilled cheeses, and their mother is eating a Caesar salad. You make a mental note to have a chicken salad sandwich for dinner.

"Clara?" Rhoda calls, interrupting your train of thought.

you walk over to Rhoda and take the brown paper bag and sturdy disposable cup, pay Rhoda, and head out the door.

"Thanks, Rhoda!" you beam. Rhoda gives a warm smile and takes the next customer's order.

~ 1:15 p.m. ~

Oh great, you think. More work. Mr. Barowski has just assigned to you the worst job that you hate: organizing your file cabinet. Bills in one drawer, files in another, sign-up sheets in another, and vice versa.

You know it's still a nasty mess, but hey? Who cares? Definitely not you. You just like to procrastinate when it comes to cleaning.

you delete the email and click the inbox button: 2 emails.

One is from Times.

~ 3:45 p.m. ~

You have finally finished the dreaded file cabinet to your satisfaction. Now to read the email from Times. Your hopes are to the extreme level. No despair, baby bear, your mother used to say when you were little. How could this be happening to you? It is a dream come true. You sit there in disbelief, unable to process the news. How wonderful!

The email tells you that you have been accepted and your first day of work will be Tuesday of next week. All you need is a camera and some other things. Perfect, you have a Canon EOS 5D Mark III. Oh, joy!

But first, you will need to tell Miles.

Aaaaaaand... your boss.

March 16, 2021 23:50

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216 comments

22:31 Apr 20, 2021

So glad you're feeling better!!!!

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User_2443 0967
23:17 Apr 20, 2021

Tyyyyyyyy :DD

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Cookie Carla🍪
19:01 Apr 20, 2021

Heyo!! Can you read my story "Sign of a Haunt"? It was the first story last week that I threw out because I had HORRIBLE Writer's Block😭. I think it turned out pretty great and I'd love to get feedback :DD

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User_2443 0967
23:17 Apr 20, 2021

Yaassssss ofc :D

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Cookie Carla🍪
13:13 Apr 21, 2021

Tank yous!!!

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Creed .
14:47 Apr 20, 2021

I am super glad you are happy again!!

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User_2443 0967
15:05 Apr 20, 2021

Thank you! You helped so much!! Give yourself a pat on the back. :)))))))))))))))

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Creed .
15:11 Apr 20, 2021

:)

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18:09 Apr 17, 2021

Love your bio! Me too!

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User_2443 0967
22:49 Apr 19, 2021

Im sorry wdym 'me too'? TYSM THo!

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22:27 Apr 20, 2021

I agree with it :D

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User_2443 0967
23:18 Apr 20, 2021

Hahahahaahaaaa imma tater tot

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14:24 Apr 21, 2021

Yepppp

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Creed .
14:21 Apr 15, 2021

Hey, Timber. You haven't posted in a while, are you alright? Are you leaving?

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User_2443 0967
17:42 Apr 15, 2021

Erm, I've been feeling depressed a lot. Faking it until I make it clearly isn't working. I might leave. I haven't had much inspo. I don't know what to do.

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Creed .
18:32 Apr 15, 2021

If you are christian, pray God would hear you and relieve you of any stress. If you are not, I found it's useful to write down what you are feeling. Let the emotions out onto the page. As for inspiration, read books and sometimes, it's best to just write anything at all. Here are also some writing prompts. Lightning strikes a person and leaves mysterious words or a map burned onto her or his skin. Write a fictional story about a woman working as a highly trained secret spy Write a fictional story about a girl who decides to create an enti...

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User_2443 0967
01:56 Apr 16, 2021

bucky, i- i'm Catholic. i appreciate you sm <3 i'm going through a tough time, and i want to thank you. i feel like i'm trappped. i feel sad at random times and i dont like feeling that way. i'm usually a happy outgoing person, but idk whats happening and i really feel like crying and... i just don't like it! i want to be happy. I'm crying as i type this and tysm for your support <3 I'm going to new york for the weekend so maybe that'll take some things off of my chest.

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Creed .
11:55 Apr 16, 2021

Ok, I hope you feel better really soon!

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User_2443 0967
12:22 Apr 16, 2021

Thanks, and I've been listening to some really encouraging Christian music :) I've been starting to feel better already :) Tysm for your support Bucky! <333

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20:40 Apr 12, 2021

Thanks for submitting a form! It really helps! 💜

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User_2443 0967
22:21 Apr 12, 2021

Np :)

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20:28 Apr 11, 2021

Raidom thread

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User_2443 0967
03:54 Apr 12, 2021

Yasssssssss

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16:38 Apr 12, 2021

Hi

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User_2443 0967
22:21 Apr 12, 2021

Hay jessay

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17:58 Apr 13, 2021

HEEEEEEY How are you? Do you like random disney memes?

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User_2443 0967
13:22 Apr 14, 2021

I'm fine... and sure? hehe

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00:51 Apr 11, 2021

helloooooo I was sent by your bio~ :)

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User_2443 0967
02:53 Apr 11, 2021

OoooOooOooo

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18:51 Apr 11, 2021

Lol ;)

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User_2443 0967
03:54 Apr 12, 2021

SoOoOoOoOooOooOoo

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22:41 Apr 12, 2021

aNy fUn sTuFf hApPEn?

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User_2443 0967
11:58 Apr 13, 2021

i GoT a NeW sKeTcHbOoK FoR MiRaCuLoUs DraWiNgSsSsSsSs

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Cookie Carla🍪
18:39 Apr 07, 2021

I love your bio!!! Omg ur so funny (*flashback of that scene in Jumanji*) Pst- if you dont have a clue what I'm talking ab looooooook....: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzU66_dSVW0

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User_2443 0967
14:22 Apr 08, 2021

NOOOO its blocked on my computer- ahhhh -eep

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Cookie Carla🍪
15:25 Apr 08, 2021

NOOOO!!!!! Can you see this: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fimgur.com%2Ft%2Fjumanji%2FJfFLTqG&psig=AOvVaw3plNVMQZq_70rItLLLXyXg&ust=1617981813988000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCICUz4z67u8CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD ??? (ig you gotta copy the whole thing) If not, look up "omg you're so funny jumanji" in the search bar

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User_2443 0967
16:17 Apr 08, 2021

HAHAHAAAAAA LOVE IT OMGGG

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22:25 Apr 02, 2021

Hiii

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User_2443 0967
22:41 Apr 02, 2021

Gurl heyy

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00:16 Apr 03, 2021

Haha henloooooooo Hru?

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User_2443 0967
13:44 Apr 03, 2021

Fantasticcccc My bestie whose dad was stationed in Mexico is FINALLY moving back to the states and they're coming to visit us todayyyy :DD

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13:55 Apr 03, 2021

Oooh that’s awesome!!!!!!

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User_2443 0967
22:29 Apr 03, 2021

Riiiight

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Hi! I was wondering if you wanted to do a collab? you can email me at carolinashaw7@gmail.com :D

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hey timber, I saw you followed this person, would you mind checking their stories out? (if you agree with them its totally fine by me) https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/exposing-ya-all/

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User_2443 0967
15:41 Mar 31, 2021

Yep I did, why?

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User_2443 0967
15:53 Mar 31, 2021

:)

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Sia S
13:01 Mar 30, 2021

Devaki downvoted all of us...

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User_2443 0967
13:12 Mar 30, 2021

I cant- Wow. Just.... wow.

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Sia S
13:14 Mar 30, 2021

Ikr. Luke, left. So many frigging people.

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User_2443 0967
15:45 Mar 30, 2021

I cant even- its like omg, wow. i thought devaki was against downvoting, but she goes around with 8 other accounts downvoting people WHO DESERVE POINTS, like wth?!

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Sia S
15:47 Mar 30, 2021

I know right

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User_2443 0967
18:18 Mar 30, 2021

Yeah ;-;

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13:04 Mar 29, 2021

TIMBEr I saw your bio and I require entry to this miraculous club, lol

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User_2443 0967
14:03 Mar 29, 2021

YES OFC OMG YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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14:11 Mar 29, 2021

basically the one guy here, lol

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User_2443 0967
17:33 Mar 29, 2021

HAHAHAAAAA

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Malz Castell
05:22 Mar 28, 2021

I love your style of writing! Great job. :)

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User_2443 0967
17:31 Mar 28, 2021

Ty!

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User_2443 0967
17:31 Mar 28, 2021

I'll check your stories too!

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Malz Castell
17:34 Mar 28, 2021

Thank you so much. I'd love to hear your feedback.

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User_2443 0967
21:19 Mar 28, 2021

Np!

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Creed .
19:33 Mar 25, 2021

Can I have your profile URL? Abigail Cross wants it, you guys have matching profile pics!

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User_2443 0967
12:26 Mar 26, 2021

AHHHH OMG REALLY YESSS OFC I WILL SEND ME HERSSSSSSSS https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/timber/

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OMG. I absolutely LOVE your profile pic.

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