76 comments

Fantasy Drama Science Fiction

Trigger warning: self harm

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Kara had killed him.

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I had loved him.

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I will never be the same.

And so, hatred and vengeance boiling in my blood, I stood on the dark, shadowed street and, raising my knife to the moon, I plunged it into my hand.

My blood ran down my sleeve, staining the white red.Β 

It dripped onto the rain-soaked cobblestones, my skin slashed but feeling no pain.

"Aeti Aeito Amnada Asara," I chanted, tracing a circle on the ground with my good hand, drawn in my own blood.

"I, Akiko Marsadi of the house Ryderson, hereby swear the following..."

I traced a moon on the ground with the splattered blood inside the circle.

It was new year's eve, and magic was strong.

The knife, ornately decorated and stolen from my father's house, lay beside me, unneeded, a copper color covering the sharp edge of the blade.

"I will not rest until I avenge him."

I squeezed my cut hand, blood falling to the stone, making three dots around the moon-circle.

"I will not rest until I have done my deed."

I reached into my pocket, removing the bones of a bird I'd killed three days before, on the second full moon.

The light of both moons poured on my back as rain began to fall.

I crushed the bones and sprinkled them around the circle of blood.

"And I will not rest until I kill Kara Hasana, the woman who ended the life of my mate."

I grabbed a blue-bladed, ceremonial knife, knelt by in front of the circle of blood, and holding it to my chest, began to chant.

"Aekan Asam Faran Jara. I will not rest till I kill the killer of my lover."

And, with a deep breath, I stabbed the knife into my chest and cut out my own heart.

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*****

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I held my heart in my hands, still beating but slowly turning blue.

I'd done it.

I'd sworn the Murderer's Oath.

No one could kill me without taking my heart first.

It would be stored out of my body, kept in a secret box of some kind.

I already had chosen one: an unassuming steel box that I'd found in the shed I was hiding in.

My heart turned sapphire blue and glowed a little as I tucked it in a wooden heart-box, a special creation made just for this.

I put the heart-box in the steel box, wrapped a chain around it, and snuck into my father's house; a big manor on a bigger hill overlooking a small, tumble-down slave town.

I climbed in the window, my short, silver-white hair blowing in the wind.

I changed into a black, enchanted leather vest, packed it withΒ knives, and set out into the night, hiding the box below a secret trapdoor in what had once been my bedroom.

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No one would guess it was there.

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***

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Six years later

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***

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I had become a ruthless, angry killer.

I killed for him.

For him.

I had never found Kara-- she vanished a while ago, soon after killing him.

But I never stopped.

Blood and bone and broken hearts.

I was only blood and bone and broken hearts.

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I didn't have a heart.

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The townsfolk feared me for it.

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They had every right to fear me.

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"Heartless Killer", they called me when no one was looking.

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I'd been to six villages looking for Kara, but without my heart, I had no mercy, no remorse, no need to spare a single soul from the bane of my blade.

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"Secret Stalker."

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"Blade Holder."

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"Haunted Lover."

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"Dangerous One."

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"Girl Without a Soul."

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"Demon Daughter."

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"Heartless Killer."

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They had their names for me, and I had my names for them.

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Fools.

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Victims.

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Idiots.

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Jerks.

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Bleeders.

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I didn't care about them.

At all.

I let them all die.

I made them all die.

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***

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Three years later

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***

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I heard the screams from the other side of town.

Kara was back, looking for me.

She'd hunted me the whole time.

As I had hunted her.

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I ran towards the manor, where I knew she thought I was.

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It was a terrible sight.

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Kara had developed an army.

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Or maybe she was in an army.

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The people for the slave-towns had rebelled.

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They hated my father.

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So they burned the manor and killed everyone who escaped.

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I knew the people running from the fire.

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I had loved them.

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But without my heart--

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My heart.

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My heart was in the manor.

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I charged into the flames, knocking over the charging members of the scrappy terrorist army.

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Racing through the corridors, heat blazed at my face, stinging my scars.

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I needed to get to my heart.

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I threw the door open-- yes!

No flame had yet reached this place.

But my heart was gone.

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I ran out of the burning manor with a scream of fury.

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"GIVE ME BACK MY HEEEEART!" I screamed, seeing a familiar curvy, redheaded figure--

Kara.

Holding my heart box.

She'd changed since killing him, covered in scars and dressed in black armor.

She looked deranged.

Maniacal.

Psychopathic.

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"GIVE. IT. BACK!"

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I tried to stab her, but she shoved the heart-box in front of my knife.

We kept dueling like this for what felt like hours as the manor burned behind us.

Blood soaked the earth.

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And then

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Kara

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threw my heart-box

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into the fire

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and I

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ran after

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the wooden

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heart-vessel.

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I grabbed it, flames touching my skin but not burning me, tearing my heart out of the box before it could be damaged, and marveling at its blue color.

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And then Kara's sword stabbed into my back and through my chest.

But there was no heart to stab within my body.

Only in my hand.

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But it slipped from my fingers,

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and Kara

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pierced it through with her blade.

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Screams

flashes of black and white and red

and blood and bone and broken hearts

and his face his face

he loved me

I killed for him

but the whole time he was watching for me

ready to take my hand when I left

but oh I'd done horrible things

we wouldn't go to the same place when we died

he was good I was evil

he was innocent

I had killed

I was doomed

if only

I'd made a better choice...

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The Oracle

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Yesterday's raid on the Ryderson Manor ended in the deaths of about 500 people, from slave owners to rebels to innocents. Noted deaths include terrorist Kara Hasana, who killed about 602 slave owners, innocents, and those against slave trade in raids for justice; Neko Wayfair, the 'man with a plan', fighting to end slavery and bring rights to everyone in the kingdom, and Akiko Marsadi, Samuel Ryderson's missing daughter.

Hasana was found trapped under a fallen beam in the fire she supposedly started, and was found to be dead upon arrival; Wayfair suffocated in toxic smoke trying to rescue a young innocent; and oddly enough, Marsadi was found with a sword stuck in her back and her heart removed from her body, with a pierce wound. It is unknown exactly which of these fatal blows killed Marsadi, but...

See page 2 for more information.

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January 01, 2021 16:53

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76 comments

This was pretty dark, so apologies! It was originally going to be even worse, but I made it a little better, a little less bloody. What do you think of the newspaper at the end? Kind of explains what's happening. They live in a dystopian world where slavery is still a thing and the character's father was a slave trader so they attacked his manor. But, as you can tell, Kara wasn't exactly planning her raid and ended up killing someone trying to end slavery. And the main character. Yeesh, Kara! Stop being so evil!

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Maya W.
21:08 Jan 01, 2021

Hey again Emmie! Nice work here! I love your narrator's voice, it's refreshing to see a "villain's" story be told. Also, quick work! It's only Friday! Anyways, I think there are a few places that could use some editing, but I won't bore you with that. All in all, a lovely story. The newspaper article would've been better at the beginning, though, in my opinion. Would you mind checking out my two most recent stories that I believe you haven't read yet?

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Yeah, the main character could be called a villain, since she does all sorts of horrible things,. I put the newspaper at the end because several years pass in between her removing her heart and Kara killing her. Okay! I'll check them out!

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That Asian Creep
16:31 Jan 14, 2021

Nice story!!

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Thanks! It's dark, but one of my favorites because of the poetry of how she physically took out her heart when her boyfriend was killed. This story is impossible because you'd die without your heart, but it's fantasy, so I can do anything I want in it. :)

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Up Voter
20:46 Jan 10, 2021

Great story, Emmie! PS: Is the answer to your riddle: Don't worry, be happy? Love, Upvoter

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Up Voter
21:19 Jan 10, 2021

Yay! Let me know if you or any fellow writers need upvotes! Have a great day!!!

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B.W., I thimk?

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Up Voter
17:02 Jan 11, 2021

Yea, me and some others are upvoting her!!

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Ok! Could you upvote me and Coco Longstaff?

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o m g i love this! It's dark for sure, and I like the little newspaper article at the end, because it gives things a spin and explains the situation a bit more :) GREAT JOB! it seems like we're keeping up with each other, cause you post right after I do XD happy new year! ~ Amethyst

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Happy new year! Yeah, the newspaper was there because I wanted to explain what was happening without the character describing it, since she was doing all the action. Thanks!

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yeah that makes sense. in real life no one would be like' hello my name is kara and i am slaying a building' XD

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Yeah, that would be a little stupid LOL Could I ask you a question? What do you think of the heart? Is it creepy? Weird? Really cool? I wasn't sure about it, but when I heard vow I thought "aha, spells and hearts and promises to kill someone and get revenge", so I had her cut out her heart and put it in a box... What do you think of it?

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ngl, it's really cool, weird and creepy XD it's like...DIFFERENT but good different :D

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Thanks! The ending is based off the saying "with my heart in my hands" since she is HOLDING HER HEART IN HER HANDS. it's kind of creepy, But I wrote it to be creepy, so I think it worked!

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Ana Govindasamy
12:23 Jan 14, 2021

Wow. This was amazing! I love reading about fantasy rituals and murder, and this was so so well written! New favourite Reedsy story!

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REALLY? YEEEESSSSS! Another dark fantasy lover! This one is very dark, with the removed heart and everything :)

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Ana Govindasamy
15:03 Jan 14, 2021

:D DARK FANTASSSSYYYYYY

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YAY DARK FANTASY! I have some trouble writing the gory parts, one time I abandoned an entire NOVEL I was trying to write because it was so gory (bloody dead horses, dead siblings, blood everywhere, guts everywhere, people with metal bars going straight through them.) that I couldn't even open the document without feeling sick and needing some water. In this one, I make it less horrible than that unfortunate story, Little Star.

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by the way, I'm naming my characters with the baby name site you reccomeded :)

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Ana Govindasamy
15:56 Jan 14, 2021

I'd probably read it though...also great that it's helpful!

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Elizabeth Inkim
21:26 Jan 08, 2021

Hey Emmie, fantastic story! I hope you had a great holiday break, I am glad that you're back. I don't think I've never enjoyed a short-form story as much as I loved, and I LOVED this! I've always had a soft spot for villains and their side of the story, cause I don't think that anyone could be 1000% evil for the sake of evil, there's always something more, and I think you nailed that. Also the newspaper part the end absolutely brilliant! I know you liked my story "Of Bone and Blood" and this week I managed to carve out the time to write an...

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Thanks! My holiday break was good. :) Yes, all villains have another side, and all heroes could do bad. The newspaper was just in there for clarification of what really happened, but everyone seems to like it. I'll be sure to check out your stories! :D

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Elizabeth Inkim
23:23 Jan 08, 2021

YAY! I look forward to what you think; I also think I am coming to the slow realization that I don't know how to write "happy" stories.

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That's ok, just don't make someone die in the end :)

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Elizabeth Inkim
19:43 Jan 09, 2021

Nah, if they died in the end, I almost feel as though it's anticlimactic. You know?

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WHOA!! This was so amazing, I love all the dark twists and turns you had throughout the story. I can't believe how good you are at writing dark fantasy, it's like perfect words just flow out of you!

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Thank you! I've always liked dark fantasy, so i tried one of my own. :)

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Raquel Rodriguez
14:26 Jan 04, 2021

The beginning and most of the story is a poem, and I love that! This is dark, and I like dark humor and stories, so this pulled me in right away :) It's an interesting way to do a story, with the poetic touch and the skipping lines when something happens (in a pattern).

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Thanks! I worked really hard on this, so I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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Raquel Rodriguez
18:31 Jan 04, 2021

You're welcome! Can I feature this as the story of the week (in my bio)?

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Omigosh, YES! Thanks so much!

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Raquel Rodriguez
00:39 Jan 05, 2021

:)

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Sjan Evardsson
05:25 Jan 03, 2021

I loved your take on this. It's fantasy that obeys its own rules. Always an important part of story-telling: consistency. Well done! Stay safe and keep writing!

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Thank you! I'll be sure to stay safe and keep writing at the same time! :)

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Llind Kam
05:12 Jan 03, 2021

I loved the drama, heartache and suspense. It was an exciting read and I am looking forward for more stories from you. The newspaper article in the end was genius.

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Thank you! I tried to channel some reality into this fantasy, with anti-slavery people, but like in real life, a few people got really riled up and started a war. (Kara, by the way, never really cared about rights and just wanted to kill someone.)

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Llind Kam
16:52 Jan 03, 2021

Bottom line is it worked!

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Izzie Chan
22:24 Jan 02, 2021

Hey Emmie! Oh my god, I LOVED THIS SO MUCH! It was dark, but I absolutely love dark stories, so I didn’t mind. I like the addition of the newspaper. It provided more insight on the main plot. Also, wow, Kara died too. I like the poetic bits you added, too! This is an amazing story, you’re a great writer, Emmie!

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Thanks! I wanted to give Kara some karma for all the bad tings she's done. Thank you so much Izzie! You're a good writer, too! I noticed just now that we both have "ie" ending names, which are rare. :)

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Izzie Chan
06:15 Jan 03, 2021

You’re welcome! Ah, makes sense. Thank you! Oh wow, yeah that is rare, lol. I didn’t realize until you pointed it out :p

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Yeah. :)

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Maya
17:09 Jan 02, 2021

I really loved this story, it stayed interesting the entire time! The beginning was so dramatic and you did a great job of building up suspense and making the reader want to know what happens next. The way you described the vow Akiko took was amazing! I loved the newspaper article at the end, it added an interesting twist to the story. Amazing job!!!

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Thanks! Akiko's vow was kind of the central thing. Was it weird that she put her heart in the manor?

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Maya
18:15 Jan 02, 2021

I think it fit with the story fine. If she grew up in the manor, did she enjoy her childhood there?Because that would make sense for her to hide something so valuable in a place she associates good memories with, I think.

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She didn't really have the same ideas as her father, since he owned slaves and stuff, so she didn't get along well with him, and he didn't approve of her boyfriend, but She had a hiding place from when she was younger to hide the heart in, and I guess that's why: she would never forget where it was because she'd likely been hiding things there since she was really little.

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Maya
23:13 Jan 02, 2021

That makes sense, if it was a place she hid things a lot. I really liked the story!

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Thanks!

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Ok! Did you see "Memories in the Snow" ? I'll check it out, that's my new one :)

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Emmie!!!!!!!! I loved this story soooooo much, it was a bit dark but still amazing!!!!! Loved how it all went soo well together! Keep writing!

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Thanks! I spent a while on this :D

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