Trigger Warning: talk of physical abuse and self harm


Can you keep a secret?

Well of course you can. You don't know who I am, so everyone will believe someone is just jerking your chain

I'm right, aren't I?

It's fun having a secret pen pal.

It's fun watching you squirm, trying to figure out who I am.

It hasn't happened yet simple because you haven't received this yet

It will happen though.

How about a little game?

You figure out who I am by the end of this month and you win.

C'mon now use your sleuthing skills, Sherlock.

Should I bring you a little hat and pipe too?

Until next time dear, XO


Hello darling, how are you?


I wish I could have been there when you received your first letter, but I would have been too conspicuous.

First clue.

I'll be really disappointed if you can't figure it out.

Just tell me if you need more clues.

See what I did there? :)

I'm enjoying this.

Are you? I would hope you are.

I don't grace many people with my beautiful words.

Oh look, another clue.

I'll let you find the rest of them from here on out.

Until next time dear, XO


Miss me?

It's the end of the first week.

Have you ever played that game Guess Who?

It's like that but there's only one player this time.


Admit it, this is the most exciting part of your day. You sit in stupid classes all day with no reprieve as they figuratively beat into you the realities of life. Then you get home and do the exact same shit except their beatings leave bruises.

Don't you wish you could do something about it? Don't you ever want to hurt them back? Is that why you're joining the military? If it is, I understand.

I understand.

Until next time dear, XO


Sorry about that last one. It was a bit intense. I'll try to refrain from such intensity in further notes.


You seem to be different lately. I can't quite put my finger on it. Is it because of me? Who do you expect to find?

Will you be disappointed when you find out who I really am?

There are times when I think long and hard about something and yet I don't think it through. This is one of those times.

I'm afraid you'll hate me.

It's not that irrational, is it?

You're a good person.

You need to know that.

Good people deserve better people.

Don't be surprised if I'm not as good as you think I am.

Until next time dear, XO


Afternoon, love.

I hope you are doing well today.

How close are you to finding me?

It's interesting watching you stumble around trying to find me. You stare at everyone suspiciously.

It's funny.

I'm kinda hungry right now. I'm trying to think of things to write to you and all I can think of is food.

Yeah, I think I might go to Sonic.

Or something.

Oh wait.

I found crackers in my desk drawer.

Yay, Ritz!

Crackers really do taste better when you've had nothing else good to eat in a while.

Or nothing in general.

Where was I?

Do you have a favourite food?

I just realized I don't know much about you. I know the deep stuff, but that's what I've discerned. You act very open but that's not true. You put on a front for everyone.

Do you think, after all this, you could let me in?

I want to see your broken places.

Until next time dear, XO


Hey, how are you?

You don't have to lie to me, I saw the bruises. And the limp.

No fresh cuts though?

I'm not berating you or anything, I'm just surprised.

What's changed?

I feel kinda shameful of mine now.

Last night was hellish.

You know that pressure you feel when you're in water up to your neck and each breath feels weighted?

You ever feel that way when you're out of the water?

I used to be afraid of the ocean. The giant waves rush over me, threatening to sweep me off my feet.

Now it would be a welcome relief.

You know what I am afraid of, though?


I guess you're going to have to figure it out.

I have a question for you.

Are you afraid of drowning?

Until next time dear, XO


We're almost done darling.

How about some more incentive?

After this month, I will stop the letters.

If you never wanted to find me in the first place, you only have to deal with a couple more of these.

If not then time is running out.



Normally I write these relatively fast but I don't know what to say for some reason. I thought maybe listening to music would help but it just makes me want to paint.

Smear colours across a canvas until something makes sense.

You ever think of people as colours? I do. I see them as blues and pinks and reds and purples and everything else.

Except magenta.

I only see real colours.

You're a blue.

Don't ask me how or why.

You just are.

It's not a bad thing. Blues are some of my favourites.

Not reds.

I hate reds.

And greens.

Greens are just reds in disguise.

Does that make sense?

I hope so.

Until next time dear, XO


It's the middle of the day right now which is an oddity for me. I normally write these at home but I'm bored.


It's really quiet where I'm at.

It makes it hard to focus.

Some kid behind me dropped a book and I actually jumped.

It's that quiet.

I am once again at an impasse for words.

Thinking over previous letters, I realize I sound a bit scatterbrained. I swear this is just my inner monologue.

Actually, that may explain it.

I feel like that kid is staring at me and it's kind of unnerving.

I don't want to look at them in case they aren't, but it's still awkward nonetheless.

What was I talking about?


I can't focus with this kid.

I'm about to throw something at it.


Shitshitshit shit shit

It's you

You found me

I can't say I'm not scared

This is what I'm afraid of

What are you going to do now?

It's all up to you

Until next time dear, XO

August 20, 2020 21:37

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02:05 Sep 18, 2020

Love it :D


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נιмму 🤎
01:07 Sep 18, 2020

i like ur poem about the shelf... so deep😂


Elliot Thomas
01:27 Sep 18, 2020

Thank you. I worked hard on it. 😂


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D. Shikha
18:24 Sep 24, 2020

Hey Celeste!! Where did all your stories go?? Did you delete them or it's some kind of glitch?? I never really told you but I liked your writing so much. I love the way you draw emotions in your stories. Please come back and write new stories!! Please!!!


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Hriday Saboo
09:45 Sep 25, 2020

Hey 👋 Um Ok, would you mind reading my stories


18:42 Sep 25, 2020

Uhhhh you can’t really just straight-out ask people to read your stories. You should comment on one of there’s first. Just letting you know people tend to get annoyed (cough, totally me, cough) when people ask for a favor without doing them a favor as well...


Hriday Saboo
07:07 Sep 26, 2020

Well I can see any of his stories


12:38 Sep 26, 2020

It’s a her. Celeste. She left Reedsy anyway, I so actually don’t know why we’re talking about this. Byeeee


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Saron Mengistu
06:44 Aug 28, 2020

Wonderful. Astounding. Incredible. So rarely do I see such work here on Reedsy, and I've been here nine months! Metaphors near perfection. Subtlety in figurative language beyond beautiful. XO's personality was hooking and and gripped me from the start. Narration was amazing. I loved it. There's no other way to say it. Grammar needs some tiny work. And I think thats it. Conclusively, amazing, wonderful, beautiful story!!


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12:55 Jan 29, 2021

I think he's supposed to be a villain... I'm literally obsessed with villains like this! Specifically, where they're surprisingly normal, but they have a bitter edge to them. Also, when they're secretly sassy and know more than what they should. Great work!


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Charlotte Hunt
17:11 Sep 25, 2020

I love this!!!!


13:34 Jul 15, 2021

Hullo Amany XDDD


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18:09 Sep 20, 2020

Hey, Elliot would be kind to watch the first video it's on Harry potter. https://youtu.be/KxfnREWgN14 Sorry for asking your time, I would ready your story


Elliot Thomas
19:29 Sep 20, 2020

No need for apologies. Is that your channel? The music flowed well with the visuals.


17:03 Sep 21, 2020

Thank you very much


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Deborah Angevin
22:16 Aug 31, 2020

I love the structure of this; letters that never got replied, yet propels the story, with the subtlety on the abuse. Well-written one, Elliot! P.S: would you mind checking my recent story out, "The Purple Sash"? Thank you :D


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. .
09:40 Aug 31, 2020

I love the detail!


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Bel Blue
18:16 Aug 28, 2020

Love this! There’s such an effortless flow to your words yet it’s so entrancing that I CAN’T STOP READING! The playfulness and humor you use intertwined with the overshadowing fear of abuse and entire mystery is wonderful. Great job!


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Shreya S
03:01 Aug 28, 2020

Nice! I want to read more now ;-;


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Maya W.
21:30 Aug 27, 2020

Nice work! I loved the color comparisons part - it's always cool when people fold in elements of synesthesia for some reason. Would you mind checking out some of my stories here? Thanks!


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C.J Dunstall
09:44 Aug 25, 2020

I LOVE it. Wonderful work. I would love for you to check out my stories and say what you think I could do to make them better -CJ


Elliot Thomas
12:04 Aug 25, 2020

It would be my pleasure


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D. Jaymz
02:55 Aug 25, 2020

A great edgy voice that could morph into considerate and sweet. Well done 👏 Well-written 👍 and highly creative.


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N. Thorne
21:57 Aug 24, 2020

Wow brilliant! Hooked right from the start! Very mysterious and chilling, and at times sad. Finding out at the end the receiver of the letters was just a kid is heartbreaking, and eerie at the same time because the writer of the letters sounds like an adult. Phew a lot to unpack there. A “protector stalker” possibly? I like how the end just leaves more questions for the reader and is slightly up for interpretation.


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María Barrios
03:22 Aug 24, 2020

Hi Elliot. This was very creative, I felt as if the narrator was speaking to me directly, in terms of hooking the reader you have an A (at least in my opinion). I'd loved for it to have a part two that clarifies who is the writer of the letters and I'd loved to see how the receiver of the letters reacted to them. I liked your story, it gave some chills too. It has so much potential for psychological horror/existentialism and well, if I were to write more about this, I'd never stop bringing up ideas. That means you wrote something that made...


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K. M. Carpenter
15:34 Aug 23, 2020

From the very first letter, I was on the edge of my seat trying to figure out who the narrator was, and who they were writing to. That alone drew me into the story, but it was your way of writing that kept me hooked. Some of your sentences were just so REAL and so relatable. I loved it and I love the way it ended. I like that it didn't reveal who either of the characters were, and instead kept that aura of intrigue present. Keep it up!


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Rayhan Hidayat
12:25 Aug 23, 2020

Just wish we got to know more about the narrator, but this was highly enjoyable anyway! A very creative story with a reflective and quirky narrative voice. Keep at it! 😊


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Kat Stokes
13:50 Aug 22, 2020

Wow! I loved the style of writing, very creative and left me wanting more :)


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03:05 Aug 22, 2020

I was Intrigued to find who the narrator was talking to but didn't . Well created .You didn't want the a clear message. I enjoyed it even though it left me hanging


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Ananya Bhalla
13:59 Aug 21, 2020

I liked the creativity of the story from the very beginning, however I did think the ending wasn't as satisfying as it could've been. The reader never figures out who the author writing those notes is, or anything about him/her. There was something charming in the way the author wrote his/her letters, and I would've liked a bit more of a background to round out the author's aura of mystery. You don't need to tell his entire story, I get you're trying to keep it vague, but a little characterization can go a long way in helping the reader emph...


Elliot Thomas
14:43 Aug 21, 2020

Thank you! I'm planning a part two but I'm having trouble trying to write and keep up with my current course load. I'm glad you liked it though


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