Hell Hound

HELL HOUND

“Ha! You Fool. You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is; never get involved in a land war in Asia. But only slightly less well known is this! Never go in against a Hell Hound, when Death is on the line”

He couldn’t believe what was happening. The gravelly voice who quoted one of the great movies of the 80’s seemed to be coming from a large dog. The large canine was black. Not black; but BLACK. It was night time and the thing was not just black; it was Dark! It was almost like a void standing there; an absence so complete and yet it was definitely there. The only color about the beast were its’ eyes. The eyes were like a pair of glowing coals.

He knew this couldn’t be happening. He wasn’t a drug user, and he didn’t drink or smoke. He watched what he ate and exercised regularly. He didn’t know how this could be happening; but it was. 

Oh and then there was the fear. Whatever was going on; whatever this thing was, it had him literally frozen in place. He was so scared – terrified really – that he couldn’t move. Most likely an instinctive reaction: from earliest man, that if he didn’t move, maybe he would go unnoticed by the terrible thing that was trying to eat him. 

Whatever the case; he couldn’t move. All he could do was look at this thing and quiver; and know that the warmth trickling down his leg was his own urine.

He could still think; and he looked around his environment for a way out. He had wandered into this blind alley; which turned out to have only one way in and out. And the thing was blocking his way.

Since it didn’t seem to be inclined to move; he decided to speak to it. “2 things” : “first; did you just quote the Princess Bride? And second: what the Hell are you?”

The thing that was a dog; but not: went from standing on all fours to a sitting position, but it was still clearly blocking his way.

It spoke to him in a gravelly voice. “I did quote it; because it is the best movie of all time” “and you’re not far off with your question. I do hail from the underworld”. “As to what I am”; well I have been around since before your kind huddled by fires in caves rightfully fearing the dark. In fact, you can most likely see crudely drawn images of me on some of those cave walls.

“I have been known by many names over the eons: Barghest, Gytrash, Yeth Hound, Black Dog, and my own personal favorite – Hell Hound –

Although to be honest; for the last several centuries I have considered myself more of a “Heck Hound"

You see Evil is all well and good –don’t try to make sense of that particular oxymoron – but it can get quite boring. So for the last several centuries I have been focusing more on an individual lineage that is going to create massive global disruption and out right evil. But in answer to your second query as to what the Hell I am: I am Roy.

“Really?” You are Roy?” but what? You are also some sort of devil dog?

Roy responded with “I am not a Marine” I am in fact the end of you. And you are Steve.

Steve was surprised that this thing knew his name. How did you know my name he asked Roy. Did you read my mind?

Don’t be silly Roy growled at him.

How is that silly? I mean you are some kind of what did you call yourself? A “Heck Hound” I don’t know that it would be silly of me to imagine you capable of all sorts of things. I mean are you immortal? Can you fly? Do you have like super strength?

Roy actually nodded up and down with Steve’s first and third question, but side to side with his second.

Steve asked: What if I shot you?

“Well, Roy replied, first you don’t have a gun, and also if you tried I would literally rend you limb from limb. It would be quite dreadful and you would not survive.

Steve found himself gulping partly because of the statement itself; but also because of how matter of fact the creature was.

He asked Roy; why do you have to be the end of me? I didn’t do anything to you. It’s not like I’m going to tell anyone about you and even if I did, you know they wouldn’t believe me. I don’t believe this is happening to me; and it’s happening to “Me”.

The gravelly voice responded: it’s not personal Steve. In fact I know what kind of thing you are; and am a fan of your work. Not many of your kind have killed as many as you. But you’re not a soldier so much as a hunter. They label you as Sociopath, or Psychopath; or my favorite – Serial Killer- And the way you take a life and feel nothing but the joy of it; it’s actually quite beautiful in its’ own way. Your mistake this time was your choice of targets. You see I told you that I was focusing on an individual lineage. Well your intended target this evening is the beginning of that lineage. So you thought that they were yours; but they are in fact Mine. And I don’t like sharing. So that means you have to go.

Steve considered this for a few moments before telling Roy; I have been tracking them for a week and they don’t seem like much. They certainly don’t seem capable of causing global harm or great evil.

Roy said; I actually said global disruption and outright evil. But that is neither here nor there. And you’re right. This progenitor of the lineage is rather normal; even less than normal. But I am looking LONG term here. The beginning of the line is here; but the one I am waiting for won’t be here for maybe a dozen generations. But all of those spring from this one, who you were foolish enough to think you could have. And that is why you have to die. 

At this proclamation, the creature stood up on all fours and regarded him.

Steve thought for a moment: he certainly didn’t want to die, then a thought came to him. 

Wait, he told Roy. What if I don’t have to die? 

But you do, the creature told him in that disturbingly deep and gravelly voice.

But what if I don’t, Steve said. But you do was the reply.

Steve tried again: But what if I don’t.

The creature spoke in his deep gravel voice: look Steve we can do this all night long; but the end result is going to be the same. It took a step towards Steve.

“What if I serve you!” he blurted out, still frozen in his tracks.

The creature – Roy – stopped and tilted his head slightly to the side like: well like a dog. It told Steve; I’m listening.

Well he said; I have read a lot of books and comics, and seen a shitload of movies, but it seems like all the really good villains have a good henchman. Dracula and Renfield, Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader :Roy interrupted abruptly: you’re no Darth Vader. 

Steve continued: you get what I mean. Oh! Oh!, Prince Humperdink and Count Rugen.

Hmm! Came the gravelly reply.

I can serve you Steve said. I can do things that you can’t.

Roy stated: I can do Anything Steve.

I can go to the bank for you Roy.

Roy told Steve: I don’t really use banks.

Well I can do anything you want me to; anything you just don’t feel like doing. Steve kept going: and Oh! Every night you can say to me : Good night Steve, good work, sleep well, I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.

Again that gravelly voice: Hmmm…. You seem a decent fellow : I hate to kill you…. Steve responded: you seem a decent fellow : I hate to die.

The beast looked deep into Steve’s eyes and took a step towards him and said:

Let’s begin.