Avani

Submitted into Contest #47 in response to: Suitcase in hand, you head to the station.... view prompt

348 comments

Drama

You weren't expecting that to occur. It was a horrible reality check, brief and unexpected, like the immediate emptiness you felt an hour ago. But why did you even expect everything to stay the same, you uncomfortably questioned yourself? Did you expect nothing would happen to her?

If so, which you-deep down-knew you did, you were wrong.

Suitcase in hand, your journey to the train station was the very proof of that. To add to that, the increasing darkness and the accumulating clouds indicate that you'll be soaked if you don't get into the train fast enough.

The train doors slid open, and you sank into one of the familiar bouncy gray seats, lost in thought. The conductor came by to check your ticket, and all you could do was helplessly hold it out, staring at his polished dress shoes. He left, and then your hand was hanging in midair, the ticket about to fall from it. The train starts, and your hand quivers, and your ticket slips from your fingers, spinning like the maple leaves you and her would watch as they fell from the towering trees.

Others are staring, murmuring to each other, giggling, pointing.  Your reputation comes to mind, and you straighten your back and pick up the ticket and pull out your phone. But all you do is stare at the lock screen, well, stare at the picture on your lock screen. It's a picture of you and her when you had gone to that water park in the city.

The picture was snapped mid-laugh, and your eyes are filled with tears from laughing so hard, and she had leaned against you, weak from giggling. You stare at the waterfall in the background and marvel at it unknowingly; it looks just like a veil. It's so wide-spread it's practically transparent, and it sprays across in such an elegant arc that for a moment, you imagine a falling bride, turning her head. Her veil swishes behind her as she beams at you.

Why does the bride look like her?

And the events of your return replayed through your mind. You had left from the small town sixteen years ago, had become one of the most successful businesspeople of the decade, and come home expecting your childhood friend.

Instead, when you knocked on the door of the worn brick house, number 101, you found a little boy, and a small baby girl tottering not far behind. For a moment, all you see is her in his face. And then the boy asks you who you are, a serious expression on his petite face, and it vanishes, and it's a little boy and his baby sister again.

You hear a man's voice call out to the children, and the boy whips his head around, running towards a man looking to be about your age. His facial features alight with recognition, and he explains that he's seen your pictures, that he's heard a lot about you.

You laugh awkwardly, remembering you were on a business trip during the wedding. You stare at your feet, and then you remember the reason for your presence. You asked the man about her, and he smiles, all too fake. He looks up for a moment, reddened eyes focused, seemingly crying, but you can tell that he doesn't have any tears left. The man clears his throat.

She passed away a few days before your arrival, from lung cancer.

You nodded, unsure of what to say, and while you were still standing upright, you felt empty inside. Everything just vanished, melted, sunk.

When you had fallen apart sixteen years ago, she had pulled you back together, slowly, calmly sewing the broken pieces together into something new, something better. And now this-this was pulling out every stitch, one by one, and you were falling apart all over again.

And now the slideshow of events is over, and you pull out the letter she had sent a week ago.

I know we haven't talked in years, but I'd like you to come to my house. It's the same house that I lived in before you left. I hope you can make it.

You smile from the irony. I made it.

Staring out of the sleek steel-paneled window, watching the trees and bushes and buildings melt together into a blurry streak, you can't help but compare yourself to the train.

You've got your life figured out. You have a specific destination you'd like to reach. You've chosen this path for yourself, and there's no turning back. You're zooming through life, your surroundings blending into each other; you simply don't care about anything else. But now you do, and you realize that you shouldn't have gone so fast. You shouldn't have burdened yourself with work that you would need to complete five years from then. You should have paid attention to what was going on with her. Not only her, but you should've spent more time with your family, with your other friends. How long had it been since you'd visited or even checked up on your family? How long had it been since you'd had dinner with your friends? You should have involved yourself with her more.

Her wedding was unattended by you-business trip. There was no gift from you on the teetering pile of gifts at her children's birthday parties, your presence not there-gala with the elites. You had finally made it now, for the first time since you'd left, just not fast enough. Your train had been hurtling down life's tracks, and for the first time, it was too late. It couldn't make it in time.

You examine the envelope and trace your finger over where she signed her name, slowly, carefully.

A. v. a. n. i.

Avani.

(Note: Thank you for reading my story!! For the next few weeks, I am dedicating one story to each of my followers! This is dedicated to Avani Gupta; make sure you check out her account and stories! Thanks for all the support :D)

June 27, 2020 01:41

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

348 comments

B. W.
13:32 Sep 30, 2020

So today? :)

Reply

Laiba M
13:56 Sep 30, 2020

We'll see :) if everything goes right today, then yes!!

Reply

B. W.
13:58 Sep 30, 2020

Alright ^^ still remember to tell me when it's out

Reply

Laiba M
13:59 Sep 30, 2020

Of course I will, haha~~

Reply

B. W.
14:03 Sep 30, 2020

:)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
14:39 Sep 21, 2020

are ya still planning on doing some stories soon? and ones that are kind of for some friends like this one?

Reply

Laiba M
18:12 Sep 21, 2020

Yes, I'm so sorry for not posting at all! In my bio, it says mid-September and September's almost over, so I definitely need to try and get out a few stories this week! In August, my schedule was filled with competitions and presentations, and I thought in September everything would clear up, but voila, we have tons of applications I have to fill out :) I'm finally done with all that, and while I am still loaded with homework and such, I can try and write a few stories this week :)

Reply

B. W.
18:18 Sep 21, 2020

will you even be able to do it though with this weeks prompts? they really aren't that good tbh. If your also maybe planning on doing stories that involve some Reedsy friends, i was wondering, could you maybe do one about me? It's fine if ya don't want to, just wondering. i also know you'd probably do other people instead to

Reply

Laiba M
18:38 Sep 21, 2020

I'm definitely doing one for you!! Each and every single one of my Reedsy friends :) For this week, I'm doing someone who has waited for their story for months, maybe next week?

Reply

B. W.
18:41 Sep 21, 2020

Yeah sure Next week is fine ^^ I dunno how you'll do it for the other friend with this weeks prompts but i know it'll be good

Reply

Laiba M
18:47 Sep 21, 2020

This week's prompts are basically the same thing, just modified for each genre. I'm taking the thriller way, I love horror :)

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
. .
02:07 Sep 02, 2020

Incredible! I loved the ending

Reply

Laiba M
11:12 Sep 02, 2020

Hi Sarah! Thank you so much :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
B. W.
13:36 Aug 30, 2020

Okay this is a really good story and you did a great job with it. i was confused just a bit until i read the very end and saw one of the comments and i honestly think its really cute that you made the story for her. Maybe i'll go and check her out as well like you said after reading a couple more stories here :) you still did a great job with the story and my only advice is that you should continue to make stories here as you've only made 4 stories here but i read your bio and you should just do it whenever you have the time. i get that scho...

Reply

Laiba M
18:12 Aug 30, 2020

Hi~ Thank you so much! She was the first supporter of my writing and I really appreciate her! She has deleted almost all or all of her stories but she is an amazing writer, was #6 on the leaderboard haha :) I'll take your advice to heart! Ahaha I've had tournaments and competitions recently and school is starting soon so I haven't been able to write. It put a ton of pressure on me because I assumed my followers would expect stories every week and I wasn't able to, but I ended up saying so in my bio haha :D And thank you so much for the...

Reply

B. W.
18:20 Aug 30, 2020

No problem ^^ the reason for you doing it just makes it so cute still and maybe i'll go check her out if she still has a few of her stories and didn't delete all of them. For me school's been here for me for about 4 weeks or so and i've managed to write like 3 stories each week. but your not me and i understand that and it might be harder for you during school but you should still try your best to make stories when your not busy or anything with school or something else. I was actually about to ask about your name so thank you for clearing i...

Reply

Laiba M
14:13 Aug 31, 2020

Thank you :) I'd be glad to write a story about you too if we can become friends!! And thanks for the advice, it is an important skill and I hope to practice as much as I can. What's your real name, if you don't mind sharing? Just first name haha :) I'll go ahead and check those out!

Reply

B. W.
14:18 Aug 31, 2020

No problem and aw thank you ^^ maybe we could actually start to talk a bit more or something? And no problem i'm not that good at really giving advice that much but i'm glad i managed to give you some thats good. Eh i don't really wanna say my first name, i don't want to and i don't really like my first name either so why don't you maybe just take a guess at it? sorry about that though my name is my initials kind of so my first name starts with a B there are a lot of guesses tbh. and thanks! i'm a bit excited to see what you have to say :) a...

Reply

Laiba M
14:23 Aug 31, 2020

Haha no problem and sure! I'd love to talk more often, you seem really nice :) That's totally fine, don't worry! Tbh, I used to hate my name and wished I had an American name, but now I like it and like that it's unique! I hope you feel more confident haha If you don't mind sharing this, are you a male or female? I'm a female haha

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Krishi Norris
00:24 Aug 24, 2020

Beautiful story, Laiba! If you can, would you mind checking out a few of my stories? Thanks!

Reply

Laiba M
18:12 Aug 24, 2020

Thank you! I'd be happy to, do you have any specific ones you want me to check out?

Reply

Krishi Norris
18:23 Aug 24, 2020

Any one of them is fine! :)

Reply

Laiba M
13:21 Aug 30, 2020

Okay, will do :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Anjali Malik
17:25 Jul 22, 2020

Hey laiba, hope u are fine . What to say about your story it was so smooth. I liked it very much dear. Amazing story. May your all dreams come true. Stay smiling😄😄

Reply

Laiba M
23:55 Jul 22, 2020

Hey Anjali! Hope you're doing well too. Thank you very much for all of your nice words! I hope you, too, can keep a smile on your face during everything that is happening~

Reply

Anjali Malik
01:27 Jul 23, 2020

No need to thank me😊 it's all fine dear. 💜💜

Reply

Laiba M
03:19 Jul 24, 2020

Haha, you're very nice! 😊

Reply

Anjali Malik
07:37 Jul 24, 2020

😊😊

Reply

Laiba M
12:26 Jul 24, 2020

:)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Amanda W.
03:56 Jul 22, 2020

Amazing!

Reply

Laiba M
23:54 Jul 22, 2020

Thank you so much, Amanda!!

Reply

Amanda W.
12:06 Jul 24, 2020

You're welcome!

Reply

Laiba M
12:26 Jul 24, 2020

:)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Deborah Angevin
09:00 Jul 16, 2020

Beautifully written, Laiba! :) Would you mind checking my recent story out, "Orange-Coloured Sky"? Thank you!

Reply

Laiba M
13:19 Jul 16, 2020

No problem, Deborah! Thank you so much :D

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Sam T.
09:01 Jul 13, 2020

I haven't been active here lately and i hate myself for not finding this earlier! you've done a brilliant job again! Your writing as always is so beautiful, and i enjoyed reading :)

Reply

Laiba M
15:16 Jul 13, 2020

Thank you so much, Sam! Personally, this story wasn't as good as the previous one but we all have our ups and downs :) I've missed you and your lovely comments! Looking forward to beautiful stories <3

Reply

Sam T.
16:28 Jul 13, 2020

Aww you're the sweetest!! <3 and don't worry, this story was really good! Thanks for being so kind always :)

Reply

Laiba M
16:56 Jul 13, 2020

Haha no, you are! Ever since I've started on Reedsy, you've lit up my comment section with your kind words :) I appreciate your support, I'm lucky to have such a nice fellow writer! Maybe one day we can become friends~

Reply

Sam T.
07:59 Jul 15, 2020

Aww i feel the same way, i really appreciate your support too <3 It would be great to become friends :)

Reply

Laiba M
12:31 Jul 15, 2020

Haha, thank you! I would be more than happy to :D

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Zilla Babbitt
00:17 Jun 29, 2020

You asked me to read, so here I am. So sweet! The story progresses like a flower unfolding and the descriptions are good. A few grammar problems. Don't end a sentence with "that" or "of." More proof of what? Second, write strongly. No. Passive. Voice. This indicates a timid, beginning writer and I know you are neither. "I did not attend her wedding." Always active voice. Good descriptions. I love that you're dedicating stories. Keep it up!

Reply

Laiba M
02:27 Jun 29, 2020

Thank you!! I really appreciate the advice, it means a lot coming from such a skilled author! I had assumed my writing was strong enough but there's always room for improvement, thank you for letting me know! :) I wanted to dedicate my stories because I'm really thankful for my followers :D Anyways, thank you so much for reading! ❤

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Batool Hussain
06:27 Jun 27, 2020

Oh My God, Laiba! This story is so beautiful 🌸🌸 I loved loved all the descriptions. And, the thing that added five stars to it was you dedicating it to one of your followers, Avani. Lovelyyyyy🍒🍒 Keep writing❤❤

Reply

Laiba M
12:27 Jun 27, 2020

Thank you Batool ❤ Over the next few weeks, I am writing a story for each of my followers, so expect a story for you coming up! 🌸

Reply

Batool Hussain
13:39 Jun 27, 2020

Yayyy...so excited

Reply

Laiba M
13:39 Jun 27, 2020

:D

Reply

Batool Hussain
13:50 Jun 27, 2020

Also, Laiba if you don't mind will you plz tell me the archenemesis prompt of this week.Like does that mean,having a main character and its enemy? Did I interpret it right?..Im very confusedd..plz help

Reply

Show 0 replies
Batool Hussain
13:50 Jun 27, 2020

Also ,do u use Instagram?

Reply

Laiba M
14:30 Jun 27, 2020

Yes, an archnemesis is basically one's main enemy. I don't use any social media platforms... how about you?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
19:46 Nov 08, 2020

Hm, you say in your bio that your learning 10 languages? wow, are ya sure you can try to do all those languages?? what are all the languages that your even trying to learn?

Reply

Laiba M
20:47 Nov 08, 2020

Yep, I am :) I've told you about them before, but in case you forgot: I'm learning French, Spanish, Bengali, Japanese, Korean, Italian, Chinese, Arabic, Russian, and Thai~

Reply

B. W.
20:59 Nov 08, 2020

Which have ya actually learned cuz i forgot and ya said you know two languages? I think one of them would be Spanish?

Reply

Laiba M
21:05 Nov 08, 2020

Nope~ English is my first, then Bengali :)

Reply

B. W.
21:08 Nov 08, 2020

could ya tell me something fully in Bengali if ya can?

Reply

Laiba M
21:14 Nov 08, 2020

Tumi ekta bhalo bandhubi~ Bengali has different letters, but I wrote the transliteration of it! It means you are a good friend :D

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
13:42 Sep 28, 2020

So do you think it'll be out today or the other day ya said?

Reply

Laiba M
15:03 Sep 28, 2020

I'm not sure, I still have to write an essay and practice 3 pieces on my violin, and I have two events today, but I'll try and fit it in :)

Reply

B. W.
15:15 Sep 28, 2020

thats fine, i understand that ya will be a bit busy ^^

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
23:33 Sep 25, 2020

I'm not sure if ya have or not but could ya check out "Reunion? No thanks" and leave some feedback?

Reply

Show 0 replies
B. W.
15:31 Sep 25, 2020

hey could ya check out "betrayed" and tell me what ya think?

Reply

Laiba M
18:11 Sep 25, 2020

Okay, will do~

Reply

B. W.
18:17 Sep 25, 2020

Thanks ^^

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
17:55 Sep 24, 2020

Up-vote spree again? :)

Reply

Laiba M
18:10 Sep 25, 2020

Sure!!

Reply

B. W.
18:16 Sep 25, 2020

Yay ^^

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Raquel Rodriguez
06:47 Aug 02, 2020

You did great in second person. I feel like sometimes second person can be hard for people. Very realistic situation. Great job! :) Would you be willing to check out my story, 'Separate Neighborhoods' if you have time?

Reply

Laiba M
20:38 Aug 02, 2020

Thank you!! I'll check it out sometime soon, Raquel :)

Reply

Raquel Rodriguez
23:57 Aug 02, 2020

Okay! Thanks, Laiba! I appreciate it.

Reply

Laiba M
01:03 Aug 03, 2020

No problem!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
05:13 Oct 30, 2020

The new prompts are gonna be out tomorrow at like 8 or 9 in the morning, will it be done before then??

Reply

Show 0 replies
B. W.
20:27 Oct 02, 2020

almost done yet? there's nothing to really do and no one is really talking to me at the moment because their either not here or just busy

Reply

Laiba M
23:36 Oct 02, 2020

Oh, yeah, I'm working on the finishing touches right now!

Reply

B. W.
00:18 Oct 03, 2020

wait, what finishing touches do you mean?

Reply

Laiba M
00:45 Oct 03, 2020

On the story.

Reply

B. W.
00:47 Oct 03, 2020

yeah i know that. but what finishing touches for the story do you mean? like checking the spelling or something?

Reply

Laiba M
00:48 Oct 03, 2020

Like going over, adding a bit of spice to boring places, etc.

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
RBE | Illustration — We made a writing app for you | 2023-02

We made a writing app for you

Yes, you! Write. Format. Export for ebook and print. 100% free, always.