Chronicles Of Borrowed Borrowed Books And A Nutty Ninja Aka Me

Submitted into Contest #91 in response to: Write about someone going to extreme lengths to return an overdue library book.... view prompt

47 comments

Creative Nonfiction Funny

Me note: Ya, sorry for the lame style, I am really getting attached to the word lame, anyway, this is like a very unpolished story filled with lameness (told you) and weird names (I mostly used anagrams of real names, how shrewd) and I know, the ending and the plot is lame, so, em, beware and welcome to lameness.

Chronicles Of Borrowed Borrowed Books And A Nutty Ninja Aka Me

"How to be aware of the situation and use your time wisely if you have to wait before infiltrating?", seriously, that is the topic of today's ninja tactics class, but the teacher got sick. So, the only nine ninja students, except me, in the class are hanging around simply like hypnotized vampires, the almost cloudy atmosphere helps with the vibe.

The rest of the students chose the samurai course, so they are probably in a class about how to act cocky in battle or something. Samurai classes really lack life skill learning, like… using your time wisely.

Welp, I wisely take my small black backpack and wisely sit down on the comfiest of the hard creaky chairs scattered here and there, tactics class is literally a mess. Then, I wisely open the bag and take out a bottle of ginger flavored water (currently wisely stuck in a ginger vibe).

About to read the rest of the fantasy-adventure-romance book, borrowed from the person who borrowed it from the school library, probably Evad. I really need to keep it where I found it before the due date (which is eras away), so nobody notices that I borrowed it (I’m learning to be a ninja!, aka spy/stealthy-info-collector/magnificent -liar, DEFINITELY NOT a samurai aka virtuous, courteous, marvelous warrior), and, ya, for now, I am going to use my time wisely, for reading.

●●●

Someone punches on my shoulder,

“You insufferable turkey, wake up for the next class!”

I pluck my eyes from the last page of the book to yawn towards my elegantly polite classmate

“Whatever” I mutter as they sprint down the staircase just outside the Tactics class.

Wait… The Next Class!? HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN READING?

I jump up to trip over my own sandals,

When did those get off?!

I keep the book on the chair, try to put on the sandals standing, overbalance and fall again. I know,

I know, black sandals with extra thick soles are not typical ninja footwear but… why do I have to trip so much because of them?

Right now,

I NEED to get to…

History? Oh no!

I finish hopping around on one leg, grab my bag and jump down the stairs two or three at a time. To bolt weirdly towards the history class, which is wisely miles away from tactics!

Trying to remember the last history class while trying to close a backpack and running is a extraordinarily stupid task, and then, I see Ahgan walking towards History too, distraction, distraction , thus, I trip!, but, wait, walking?

I get up, dust my shoulder and elbow and try to catch up to Ahgan, who is strolling as if nothing will ever get her to care. That’s also a bit true, well, she is not actually stuck up, just the kind of tsundere who never gets that… friendly? A lot talkative, snarky and great at comebacks and puns when open? Sure. But show me a person (other than me) who would call Ahgan sweet.

I almost catch up at last

“Hey,… panther.” I speak in between gasps, “What… are ya… doing?”

Ahgan tenses up and then looks over

“Eh, oh, you. Well, hey horse, I’m… being late for History?”

I pant a bit more before answering

“Well, ya don’t… look th— wait, we have… Common History today?”

“Yes, nerd, did you ‘misunderstand the calendar’ again today?”

“Can’t anyone let go of that yet?, like that was… one month ago!”

“When you said that you didn’t study for the swords test because you misunderstood the calendar? Oh god, I can’t believe you sometimes!”

I blush, well not technically, but if my skin was tad lighter, I’d be crimson, because… I MIGHT have a crush on Ahgan? And in my terms, being unbelievable is like THE BEST COMPLIMENT.

Suddenly Ahgan cocks her head towards my feet

“Eh, you are wearing the sandals wrong.”

I look down and see my right sandal on my left foot and the left one on my right foot, wait, how did she notice that?

I shrug

“Who cares, and I really DID misunderstand the calendar! Like totally!”

 “Why couldn’t you say that you got the date wrong or that you forgot or something like that, misunderstanding the calendar though? And saying that as if you were saying that you discovered a unbeatable kata?” She strolls on in her initial pace “But Ms. Bahtyhatbat is not going to laugh at your phrasing, you better hurry.”

“Eh… then why are you walking so slow? What are you goin’ to say?”

Ahgan shrugs

“Nothing”

“Hm… you might be the only one on a Tuesday —”

“Today is… a Friday.”

“Fri… day? Twentieth, right?”

“Twenty seventh…”

“Oh my! Wait, wait, wait, you guys have the library break on which day?”

Ahgan furrows her eyebrows

“Friday. What’s the problem?”

I swing my bag to open it and look inside, WAIT! Where did that book go? Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!, we are almost in the History class and this is the time I notice that I left the book in Tactics?!

I look at my bulky watch, yaaa, History is half-over, entering late is one thing, but not even showing your face? Three times in a row? I’m DOOMED! But I can’t let my borrowing-library-books be noticed! And Evad might end up in horrendous trouble because the Library is next. ARHHH! I take a solid about turn.

“Bye, I-need-to-do-something-insanely-important!, misunderstood-the-calendar, no-need-to-cover-up-and-try-to-get-to-History-class-before-it’s-over.”

“Yep, I’ll try, airhead,”

And Ahgan resumes strolling just like that, peacefully under the overcast sky.

I run back to the Tactics class, almost tripping trice, and at last reach the insufferable staircase. I climb, and gasp and pant, climb, gasp, pant, climb, gasp, pant, climb, gasp, pant until I get to the top. I overdid it! I OVERDID IT! I AM GOING TO DIE GASPING FOR DEATH!, eh, I mean BREATH!

The humdrum thoughts gets pushed back, BECAUSE THE BOOK IS NOT IN THE CHAIR. Wait, what? WHERE IN THE SEVEN WORLD DID IT GO?

I see and grab my bottle of ginger water and search around the deserted room for the book but the only thing I find is the plotted points for my essay on the comparison of tanto and katana (Am I this brainless? Katana are capable of counter striking!).

This Book Needs To Be Attained! And I don’t know where it is! Arh! Wait, what if it is put in the lost and found corner or somethin’? I take a final look around the room, grab my black backpack (I can’t lose that! There are more borrowed books in there! Oop, well none is past due,… hitherto, one will be, on Monday) and reasonlessly stuff my essay-plan into my pocket before soaring down the staircase, passing the meditation teacher, er, and hoping that he didn’t see me.

I reach the assisting office, panting and gasping and huffing and puffing, the central desk is blocked by a small crowd of injured samurai students (dumbos!).

Yell I,

“Did You Get A Lost Book?”

No response.

I repeat

“DID YOU GET A LOST BOOK!?”

“No! and keep your voice down!” A pleasant but irritated female voice replies

“OKAY!” I yell louder

Eh, I am pursuing an overdue book, not practicing ki-ai, but oh, I’m dead and buried plus settled in afterlife if someone finds out that I am the yelling, class-skipping, library-book-borrowing, astoundingly-stupid ninja (who has a crush on a somehow popular ‘n’ pretty samurai?), SWEET.

But of course, the pursuit must continue, but to where now?

I DON’T KNOW!

Darn it all!

I check my watch, Not Much Time Left Now! I unthinkingly sprint back to the Tactics class… I reach there and— WAIT, WHAT?

The Meditation Teacher (name unknown) Is Reading The Book, Like, 

I mean, THE BOOK!, THE BOOK!, THE BOOK is found!

I literally try to jump the rest of the way, trip, and roll down the stairs.

●●●

Ahtiay and Evad just looked more confused after the elongated version of my truthful narration of how Evad’s library book inexplicably got into the unnamed meditation teacher’s hands and how I fell so bad that I couldn’t move my left elbow or knee. I guess all the people going to the assisting office because injuries are not dumbos, but I certainly am.

Because I have to contemplate something new now. Welp, let’s wisely round up the facts-

#The school is closed for one week from Monday because of coming heavy rain and fast winds.

#This book I’m holding will have to be returned tomorrow if Akitna have to escape trouble because the library won’t open on Monday.

#And there’s no way I can walk (or run or climb stairs or gasp for air) without feeling grand pain.

Er..., Em..., Eh...,

I guess I can always start by reading the blurb?

‘This young and inexperienced ninja will have to revive the symbol of peace on time, or the war will break out and chaos will spread. This will require going to extreme lengths and surviving painful hurdles, but there is only one question facing the ninja, can it be done without dying?’

Eh,… hope so

April 28, 2021 13:43

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47 comments

Angel {Readsy}
20:09 May 04, 2021

Please one eyeeeeee nooooooo

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Angel {Readsy}
20:09 May 04, 2021

“ plot twist is amazing

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Amara Tillington
19:31 May 03, 2021

So good, I love this! Hhahahhahahahahaha the ending...

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17:37 May 04, 2021

Thank you soooo much for reading!!!!! The ending... ya....., did you notice the tags Lol Happy Today

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07:50 Apr 30, 2021

HELLO MUFFIN BUD! Why Aren't You Replying To Me Comments In Ya Stories?

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I’m so sorry I was inactive at that timeeeee IM SORRYY AAAHHH-

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08:00 May 01, 2021

wait... did you see them? eh, eh, it's, OKAAAAAY! ANd, can you pleeease fill me reedsy cast form? https://forms.gle/fcnUrGomCGGVpCov7

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Daniel R. Hayes
17:11 Apr 29, 2021

Hi, This was a cool story, and I don't think it was lame at all. Your writing has greatly improved over the past few weeks. Great Job!! :)

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00:28 Apr 29, 2021

Hey! Since Whisper . had to leave Reedsy, she asked me to continue the Project Ignite series, but I've realized that I don't have all the characters. Whisper . gave me a list of Reedsy people who submitted characters, and I have a form here for you to fill out (If you still want to have a character in this series): https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1T_vLLr3F7axq-aDvjKjZ8S3ns4P50DYfXmBZIp29IgI/edit

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15:56 Apr 28, 2021

I don't understand why the tag is creative nonfiction and not comedy lol. Honestly... it's kinda weird (and Idk how to say this) but it feels like you wrote a really good story in the sense of... adhd? Like, the character is a really good portrayal of a real person with ADHD? If that makes sense

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17:19 Apr 28, 2021

all creative non-fiction are not miserable (eh sorry to everyone out there who see creative non fiction as a way to connect to people and reduce their stress, if I'm sounding rude), I have to stop that being a cliche bro, welcome to the crazy side of creative non fiction, no deep philosophy, no life altering choices, no sanity (tho should I add comedy too?) Stripe out the ninja vibes (eh, but, I'm always half ninja/pirate), tweak the plot a tiny bit (i had to cut out a lot of run-pant-gasp-ing) and rearrange the names (everything except ms...

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17:34 Apr 28, 2021

Lol, I feel like I barely use the tag of creative nonfiction because it's far too broad. But yeah, I usually imagine it like the cliche you just said, of all deep and dark and depressed stuff. But really, creative nonfiction can be almost anything. Kinda weird when you think about it. I think you should just add comedy bc let's be real; if someone was going to find your story, it'd be under the tag of comedy, not of creative nonfiction. Tbh, I've only ever really seen people look through the tag of gay or lgbtq (I know I do) and that's how I...

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17:59 Apr 28, 2021

Eh, like... ooh I have more stupid creative non fictions up my sleeve, but actually, doesn't everyone? why do people only want to say sad things about life, why not mix it with... everything in life? eh, If you dare unscramble any of those names I'm going to kill you with my virtual katana (or cutlass or non-working fountain pen, depends on my mode (why is it easier to cut with a fountain pen when it has no ink?)) like... if they find out..., they are going to kill me, and... nothing I think funerals..., I already forgot about that, now I ...

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18:17 Apr 28, 2021

Uh... I'm almost sure we wouldn't know each other, lol, so why would it matter if I unscrambled the names? Plus, I am BAD at unscrambling names. I mean, look at what I did. I think in my story, there was nurse, shark, and... did I make their name lights? Something like that. I kept reading that as My Chemical Romance, lol

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18:50 Apr 28, 2021

Still it's, BAH, creepily cringy! and I think I sent me reedsy profile link in the group chat (i might sent a suicide note in there and I bet, only what I send will go unnoticed, me invisibility superpower, so that's actually ok) but my brain somehow is stitching it together if I named my characters like that it would be Ahgan: panther (or me crushiest crush ever (ew, bad name choice) ) Ms Bahtybathat: 'plz write bootyfully' teacher Evad: the random ship character for ANYONE Ahtiay: Non-nerdiest nerd of them all (like if I can contin...

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12:56 Apr 29, 2021

E_, wait, t_at’s long past, it was more like question, but nobody saw it in... six days? So I deleted it cause I am just 70% sure t_at I am t_e only person w_o scrolls troug_ old c_ats. (if you _ave been noticing, t_e missing letter in t_is, t_at alp_abet is not working in t_is, so, sorry for t_e weird spellings) And I _ave no idea if t_e group c_at is better or worse now, (ok, don’t kill me for quoting an astute aut_or (no, weirdly, not _owl t_is time)) “The group chat as been "dead" for weeks (t_is is me jumping in to make t_at ‘mont_s’) ...

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13:16 Apr 29, 2021

OKay... wtf where is your h key, lol I can barely read this, lol

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13:41 Apr 29, 2021

okay... h is back, I just had to update the thing? do you need a readable version? "Eh, wait, that’s long past, it was more like question, but nobody saw it in... six days? So I deleted it cause I am just 70% sure that I am the only person who scrolls trough old chats. (if you have been noticing, the missing letter in this, that alphabet is not working in this, so, sorry for the weird spellings) And I have no idea if the group chat is better or worse now, (ok, don’t kill me for quoting an astute author (no, weirdly, not howl this time)) ...

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13:45 Apr 29, 2021

Lol... was it an inside joke? Oop Okay, a lot of people scroll through old things. If no one is talking, a lot of people just look through old texts until they find something interesting. My group chat has been dead for this entire year, basically. Like we sent something about Christmas, and that was it. It's because we all just started talking to each other alone, and one of us began really intensely dating this guy, so she stopped responding that much.

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14:03 Apr 29, 2021

Well, the last thing for which I got a reply for was... the t&j gif about world diabetes day? we-eared Eh, my group chat IS dead, dee ee aye dee dead, they have TWO new group chats and... well It’s practically moving + covid (ie, old friends forgetting you + being unable to get new friends ( me pathos brain: “BUT THEY SAID that they would keep in touch!!!” The logos part of the brain: “Ya, cool, and you believed it?”)) I feel so stuck in between past and present, or present and future? Or past and future? I can’t even choose!!!

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16:58 Apr 29, 2021

I pretty much can't compare brothers (brainless and braggy?) because I dunno about sisters... but brothers tend to be really... stupid? idk if that's the right word even, annoying fits just right, did you fill abigail's new reedsy cast?, I just wanted to ask what you wrote for siblings, me character had a three year younger brother who died a tragic death, like..., a very stupid and weird death

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18:13 Apr 29, 2021

Brothers are very stupid, lol. Wait... abbi has a new reedsy cast? I'm in her's rn... I might yet my way into that

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12:51 Apr 30, 2021

You filled it? (K, yur character is a guy with brown-red hair, muddy green eyes and pale skin who is a introvert who becomes friendly? Also named Ethan?) Like you are seriously just repeating stuff lol, I am NOT naming yur character Ethan hm... eth, eth, e-t-h, ethanol? Eh... ethinyl? Ok, not a chemical name, ethos? Wait, Isn't ethos something related to music?

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13:17 Apr 30, 2021

Ethos is... feeling, I think? Ooh that's good though

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13:27 Apr 30, 2021

For me now I'm obsessed with the name I gave for Abigail's reedsy cast, maybe I'll stick to that, like, doesn't Tsuyoi sound cool lol Let's go to wikipedia Ethos (/ˈiːθɒs/ or US: /ˈiːθoʊs/) is a Greek word meaning "character" that is used to describe the guiding beliefs or ideals that characterize a community, nation, or ideology. The Greeks also used this word to refer to the power of music to influence emotions, behaviors, and even morals. I knew there was something related to music there! Lol, and that's kinda cool cause that kinda ...

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14:37 Apr 28, 2021

Lol I love this; it was funny, simply, and the end was 👌 :P One of the many lines that made me laugh was “ “You insufferable turkey, wake up for the next class!””....I mean, c’mon, ‘insufferable turkey’ is almost as good as an insult as ‘you sandwich’ from some other book XDD Great job!

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14:53 Apr 28, 2021

That was... the first thing that came to my mind when i thought of insults for myself, I'm feeling proud already, tysm (eh, the dialogues are translated and I couldn't find an equivalent of the insult used in english, soo I made it up) TYSM!

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13:45 Apr 28, 2021

Sorry for the lameness!

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Amany Sayed
14:21 Apr 28, 2021

I actually found this pretty funny lol. It's simple and sweet and...creative nonfiction? I'll assume you're clumsy or something and NOT in ninja school. (but if you are- let the office know my application seems to be missing them?). This was a really fun read and I liked the little details. Keep writing!

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14:35 Apr 28, 2021

oh my, i was in a wrap of time, I really have to reply to a lot of comments (including yurs) SORRY eh, if I was STILL in a ninja school, I'd have mastered author's kicks, poet's punches and writer's blocks, Lol (I'll try to tell them, but the place is slow in paperwork) Eh..., everything except the names (eh, I'd love to have a Tr. named ms Bahty-hat-bat) and the ninja vibes (ie plot, characters, nicknames, and especially the misunderstanding the calendar) is... KINDA nonfiction (but believe me, I ran a LOT more and... beware, I really ca...

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Amany Sayed
14:38 Apr 28, 2021

Don't be! Ha, that's punny :D Ah, I see, interesting. Welcome! You too!

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15:00 Apr 28, 2021

I'll catch up to time one day! Lol *straightening pretend glasses* eh, stupid puns are my specialty Totaly... eventful, and painful how much I've tripped, I have no idea =)

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