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Creative Nonfiction Funny Historical Fiction

I am the legendary Dammit Tibbles, the mightiest huntress who ever lived. Fear me, all ye lesser creatures.


In truth, “Tibbles” is just what I've let David call me. I don’t care a dropped whisker for his calls, so it doesn’t matter if he calls me Tibbles, or Chunky Dumpling, or Babaganoush. It isn’t like I’m going to answer to any of it… though, when he eventually expanded it to “Dammit Tibbles,” it amused and flattered me on a deep level which I cannot quite explain.


I know it is the ultimate compliment, because I'm kind of a big deal in history. But we’ll get to that.


Despite the nonsensical name imposed upon me, he is a kind man, and I have been his “little lady” since two winters ago. He first came across me, shivering and half-starving, in a dirty alley where I had been dumped. Still young, I was able to eke out a meager living despite the competition, but fleas and the sordidness of my situation impinged upon my natural majesty during those hard few months. 


I knew I was destined for better than a grueling life on the streets, so when this particular human began presenting me with treats on his way by from time to time, I knew that this was a path of upward mobility for me, and I grew to welcome his visits.


Now, it wasn’t lick-at-first-sight. I continued my existence in that alley and in my surrounding territory, growing stronger, bigger, and healthier every week. I had even met another of my kind, a big, beautiful male with ebony locks and green eyes who mesmerized my young heart. We roamed together, and he showed me where to find the best mice.


A giver at heart – as kind and benevolent as I am regal – I was certain to save some of these murine victims to give to David in appreciation for all of the treats he had shared. If he was to be my human connection in this world, I wanted him to know that I did not take the relationship lightly. One should always gift their loved ones and dear friends, as a sign of respect and honor.


Oddly, he grimaced and never took the treats home with him, so perhaps he didn’t understand. I resolved to follow him home and deposit them directly onto his turf so that he would know they were, indeed, intended for his consumption.


After that, it was only a short time before I was allowed into his home (though, not with the gifts), and soon I found that the delights of a warm fireplace and tinned fish were too much to refuse. I saw less and less of my laddie love, until one day, I simply decided to stay and accept my regency. My dear tom had already found another, and so we had since said our formal goodbyes, though sometimes I would still sneak out at night and visit him for old times’ sake. These were the storied days of my youth – which I was soon to leave behind.


The months passed in pleasant repose. David was a quiet man of simple needs, who enjoyed petting me for hours as I rested against his leg in front of a cozy fire. He rarely entertained, so it was just the two of us, and though he was gone most days from our comfortable abode, I always greeted him in the evenings with mellow chirping and ankle weaves. He said more than once that I was getting a little too plump to fit between his ankles, and that he’d have to stop giving me so much tuna, but it was an idle threat, fortunately – for him.


One day, I unexpectedly found myself vaccinated and caged and stowed aboard a boat to cross the narrow sea, all in the span of a day. When we landed, David and I (and my soon-to-be-born kittens) were on a lush island where only the two of us mattered in all of the world.


As I surveyed my new domain, I remember thinking to myself that, truly, this must be what humans call heaven. 


Oh, the treasures that abounded here! I was so delighted to have the roam of the place that I increased my gifts to David many fold. Something else, too, intuited in me the need to become more productive in this manner, should I expect to adequately provide for my coming brood. 


I never understood David’s objections to my generous gifts, but they remained on the stoop and were never integrated into our evening meals. Nevertheless, I was certain to present something daily. My particular delight was a little creature which seemed to be a cross between a ground rodent and a bird. It looked like a bird, lovely glowing gold and olive feathers enshrouding it, but it didn’t fly like one. It simply ran and ran... and ran... hah!


It was such great fun that my whiskers twitch even now, remembering the thrill of those hunts. And the strange little creatures were everywhere, ripe for the plucking, so to speak.


It was during this time that I grew from just “Tibbles” to become “Dammit Tibbles,” legendary huntress extraordinaire. 


It was also during this time that I birthed my beautiful, healthy young kits. I got plenty of tuna while I was ensconced in caretaking my newborns, but never once did David think to reciprocate in bringing me my favorite bird. Humans just don’t “get it” sometimes, so I graciously overlooked the gaffe.


In short order, my little ones had grown enough to leave the nursery and join me in my hunts, the clowder of us wreaking absolute havoc on our new realm. 


Such were the exploits of Dammit Tibbles and her brood that we were even credited with a legendary achievement focused on that bird that I mentioned: I (we) had single-handedly wiped it from the face of the planet… a feat never before managed in the history of the world, and one which, to this day, is enshrined in human history books. 


They call it a “cautionary tale,” by which I can only assume they mean as a warning to all other species of our might: caution, Dammit Tibbles and her family are on the prowl here. Woe unto ye! 

February 25, 2023 06:33

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123 comments

Kelly Sibley
23:01 Feb 25, 2023

Wow, I'm impressed! Dammit, Tibbles, you nailed pussy cat perspective! Well done.

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Wendy Kaminski
00:54 Feb 26, 2023

haha Thanks, Kelly! It was a lotta fun. :)

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Richard E. Gower
19:37 Feb 25, 2023

Dammit, Wendy, you've done it again. And so fast, too. I haven't even started my story yet (I have an excuse, but...). I've now got feline envy😊 A beautifully warm and immaculately-crafted piece. Your word pictures have me swooning. 😊 You're well out in front again this week. I am away now to get my nose to the grindstone, in the hopes of possibly catching up.......😊 Bravo Zulu! Cheers! RG

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Wendy Kaminski
19:45 Feb 25, 2023

"feline envy" lol :). Thank you very much! This was actually kind of a tough set of prompts, which surprised me. I'm not sure mine is technically a fit, though being "a big deal" is kind of a big deal. :) All I can think of for the shelter one are sad things, so I may have to steer clear of that prompt when it comes to reading, yikes...! Looking forward to yours, and thanks again for dropping by and leaving a lovely review!

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Richard E. Gower
20:12 Feb 25, 2023

I think you've met the technical requirement for the prompt easily ....carrying the kittens alone would have her being -"...just a chunky pet.", not to mention serious weight gain in short order due to scarfing down all those rodents and birds....I can imagine Ms. Tibbles tipping the scales at nineteen or twenty lbs....😊 Cheers! RG

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Wendy Kaminski
20:14 Feb 25, 2023

Oh true, thanks for the reality check! All of that would lead to a massive missy. :)

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Kevin V
16:29 Feb 25, 2023

Ok, Wendy, you outdid yourself this time. I found this brilliant! Of course I had to use Google to get the full impact (I can be a notoriously uninformed person. Thank God for Google) of Tibbles for the destruction of the Stephen Island Wren. _ It was during this time that I grew from just “Tibbles” to become “Dammit Tibbles,” legendary huntress extraordinaire. Hilarious, and captures the haughtiness of cats splendidly. Even without the background information it was a hoot to read. Still, I learned something along the way. Thank you agai...

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Wendy Kaminski
16:33 Feb 25, 2023

hehehe I was cackling the whole time I wrote this (and read your review :), though really it's pretty dark humor, given that I am also a bird lover. :( Still, I can just imagine that cat being SO PROUD of her place in history, lol. Very cat! Thanks for reading and for the lovely review, as always, KV! :)

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Michelle Oliver
11:22 Feb 25, 2023

I love this story. Your narrator, Tibbles, is so proud to be able to decimate a whole species. I like the point of view, the tidbits of cat lore, with the gifts etc, that Tibbles graciously forgives her owner for not understanding. There is that conceited superiority in her tone, that rings true of cats everywhere. It’s true, dogs have owners, cats have staff, and as such Tibbles was such a gracious and understanding boss. A great read and even better that it was based in fact. A good cautionary tale indeed.

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Wendy Kaminski
13:00 Feb 25, 2023

Thanks, Michelle! :)

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Graham Kinross
09:58 Feb 25, 2023

“natural majesty,” is majesty a strong enough word? Imperial majesty? Galactic imperial majesty? That’s quite a tail you’ve told there. Based on truth as well. I can’t wait to watch the animated movie version with the black and white ‘based on real events’ card before.

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Wendy Kaminski
13:00 Feb 25, 2023

hehe Thanks Graham! :)

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Graham Kinross
14:13 Feb 25, 2023

You’re welcome. Keep trying for the purrfect story it almost certainly has a cat in it somewhere.

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Howard Halsall
09:05 Feb 25, 2023

Hey Wendy, I was hooked from the first line of your story and found myself smiling and chuckling through to the end. You wrote the inner voice of Tibbles with both wit and candour in a way that captured a particular feline majesty and unmistakable sense of entitlement. I’m sure there’s an idea for a marvellous book here…. Just a thought. :) HH

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Wendy Kaminski
13:00 Feb 25, 2023

Hmm! :) Thanks so much, Howard! :)

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Howard Halsall
13:55 Feb 25, 2023

:)

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Dylan Mass
21:56 Mar 05, 2023

Reading this story just makes me think of all the cats, there were five at once, and it brings me back. I don't think I've ever seen a more accurate description of a cat. Great Job

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Wendy Kaminski
22:02 Mar 05, 2023

Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment, Riggs! I appreciate it! :)

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Stevie Burges
02:32 Mar 05, 2023

Wendy I am amazed at where you get your storytelling ideas from. Another excellent story. I am also grateful to KV as I now know that the poor bird existed - I had thought it was just another example of your storytelling imagination. Thanks once again for writing with such enthusiasm and energy.

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Wendy Kaminski
02:40 Mar 05, 2023

Thanks so much, Stevie! :)

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Zack Powell
21:53 Mar 04, 2023

Silly me read this the first time thinking it was purely fictional, and I was like "Well, this is a fun story, even though it could never happen." (Yes, I missed the Creative Nonfiction tag, thank you for asking. 😂) Imagine my reaction when I saw in the comments that this is a legitimate historical event, LOL. Anyway, I say that to say this: The second time around, when you know the full context, this story goes from fun to hysterical. Truth really is stranger than fiction, isn't it? Really funny to imagine that "Dammit" would be part of th...

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Wendy Kaminski
21:57 Mar 04, 2023

Thank you, Zack!! :) I was cat-proud of the "dropped whisker" line, and so tickled you picked it out of the pile! :D I truly appreciate your heart-warming review, and I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :)

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Penelope Conlon
11:26 Mar 05, 2023

Wendy, you've created an adorable whole world here. I couldn't stop reading it, and laughed, and loved every word.

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Wendy Kaminski
17:38 Mar 05, 2023

Thanks so much, Penelope - I am really happy to hear you enjoyed it!! :)

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Karel Fontaine
01:15 Mar 05, 2023

Ah, Wendy, a magical and brilliant rendering - I visualised everything because of your purrrrfect spinning of words. I think we used the same prompt and came out with a similar conclusion. Sadly, it was me who facilitated the letting go of Puss and her kittens in the Australian outback - the consequences are horrendous. I have only recently been able to own the guilt publicly. Congratulations on the cautionary tale told with a great deal of humour. K

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Wendy Kaminski
01:17 Mar 05, 2023

Hang in there, you weren't the one who introduced the rabbits, and I understand those are as bad or worse than anything you could do! Thank you so much for the kind review, can't wait to give yours a look!

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Valerie Shand
23:01 Mar 04, 2023

Wendy, I love this story. I, like many of your readers, felt compelled to check how/why this is a "creative nonfiction" story and Googled and found this on Reddit from 2016: "TIL a cat named Tibbles once started bringing dead birds to a lighthouse that were discovered to be a new species, the Stephens Island wren. They went extinct shortly after ,and Tibbles the cat was accused of being the only single living creature to eradicate a species." I mean, how can you beat this!? So the strange sound I hope you're hearing is applause because I'm c...

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Wendy Kaminski
23:03 Mar 04, 2023

I just read that!! I loved it!! :) And thank you so much for this wonderful review, Valerie! :) I really appreciate the encouragement!

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V. S. Rose
15:32 Mar 04, 2023

LOL I had to look this one up to know the back story. It's actually quite comical there's a cat that achieved a level of fame for wiping out a species of bird, and its name is 'Tibbles'. I love how you weave history into your stories. You always do an amazing job, this one was no exception. And as always, just hilarious😂 I loved getting inside the mind of the cat, it bringing the dead mice to its owner, the cat getting a little chunky. Incredible job Wendy!

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Wendy Kaminski
16:42 Mar 04, 2023

Thanks so much for the delightful review, as always, VS! :D

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Tricia Cundiff
15:14 Mar 04, 2023

Loved the story, so glad I found this venue! I look forward to reading more of your work!

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Wendy Kaminski
16:26 Mar 04, 2023

Thanks, Tricia!

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Sally Jupe
14:08 Mar 04, 2023

This is soooo clever Wendy! Especially now that I have learned from the comments what it was really about, so excuse my complete ignorance! :) Even so I loved it, especially being a lifetime cat Mum of once 7, now sadly only 5 here in Spain, having emigrated them all from the UK! Only this week I was again clearing up my well intended 'tidbits' left for me on the doormats, in the hallway and naya, some of which hardly had a hair on their body harmed and I convinced myself that they were smiling as I hauled them down the valley via the dustpa...

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Wendy Kaminski
16:26 Mar 04, 2023

Wow, thank you so much for the lovely review! I got a kick out of your half the mouse that used to be comment ha ha. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and leave such encouragement! I find historical info to be a wealth of inspiration, in case you’re ever again stumped and needing a muse… I “borrow “ liberally! :D

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Beth Jackson
08:22 Mar 04, 2023

I thoroughly enjoyed this story, Wendy! I loved Tibbles’ voice as the narrator - you totally captured the lofty essence of a cat. Dammit Tibbles - that totally cracked me up - I’m sure my cats get confused about their names sometimes for similar reasons hahaha. This was a great read and I loved the little bit of Aotearoa’s history! Thank you for sharing! :-)

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Wendy Kaminski
11:59 Mar 04, 2023

Thank you so much for the kind words, Beth! I enjoyed writing it. :)

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Helen A Smith
06:36 Mar 04, 2023

Great story of a legendary Tibbles. Shame David didn’t appreciate the ‘gifts.”

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Wendy Kaminski
11:59 Mar 04, 2023

hehe Thanks, Helen! :)

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Marty B
00:30 Mar 04, 2023

Dammit Tibbles,” legendary huntress extraordinaire- I like the cat-centric perspective!

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Wendy Kaminski
00:38 Mar 04, 2023

Thank you, Marty! :D

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Nathaniel Miller
22:59 Mar 03, 2023

Another week, another tip top tier story from the genius herself. Really enjoyed this read, Wendy! Very nicely done. Interesting and humorous ending, too; very funny to imagine a cat being proud of making a species extinct. The wording also lends itself to the story, the archaic words add to the context of the broader story and strengthen the claims that prove how pretentious Tibbles really is. My personal favorite line? "...the fleas and the sordidness of my situation impinged upon my natural majesty..." Oh, also loved the last paragrap...

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Wendy Kaminski
23:02 Mar 03, 2023

hehehe :) Thanks very much, and I am glad you enjoyed it!

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Mary Bendickson
22:09 Mar 03, 2023

(...but if you're here to entertain, be entertained, practice your craft, and hang out with like-minded individuals... you win every week! :) that's why I am here. Thanks for all your helpful input.

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Wendy Kaminski
22:53 Mar 03, 2023

My pleasure, Mary! :) I see by your profile that we are much alike: I've never really been into writing until the last 6 months or so, and I know very little about it, so I'm glad I have a place to learn while having fun. :)

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