Contest #67 shortlist ⭐️


Mystery Suspense Thriller

              “911, what is your emergency?”

              “Yes, I’m calling to report a murder,” she said in a cold, distant voice.

              “I’m sorry, ma’am. Did you say you’re calling to report a murder?” asked the dispatcher.

              “Yes,” answered Victoria. She stared vacantly.

              “I’m going to need some more details so I can send help. Let’s start with your location. Can you tell me where you are?”

              “No,” said Victoria.

              “You don’t know where you are, ma’am?” asked the dispatcher.

              “No,” answered Victoria.

              “Can you tell me what is around you? Is there anyone else you can ask?”

              “No, I’m alone and it’s dark,” said Victoria.

              “What’s your name, ma’am?” asked the dispatcher.

              “Victoria Dawson.”

              “Victoria,” repeated the dispatcher. “Okay, Victoria. Can you tell me what happened?”

              “I don’t know,” answered Victoria.

              “You said you were calling to report a murder. How do you know there has been a murder?”

              “Because I killed him.”

              “Okay,” answered the dispatcher. “Victoria, I need you to stay on the phone with me.” Clack, clack, clack. The dispatcher rapidly worked to track the location of the call. Only a general region in a heavily wooded area. The nearest county route was fifteen miles from where the dot was on the map.  The dispatcher started her notes to the police. “I need you to tell me more about what happened. You said there was a murder and you killed someone one. Do you know the victim?”

              “Yes, he’s my husband.”

              “What is your husband’s name?”

              “John Dawson.”

              “Okay, and do you remember what happened to John?” asked the dispatcher.


              “Are you near John right now?”

              “No. I’m alone,” Victoria repeated.

              “Do you know where John is now?”

              “No, I don’t know where he is.”

              “Victoria, I’m sorry to ask so many questions but I need more information to know how best to help you. Now you said you’re alone in a dark area and there has been a murder. You said you killed John, who is your husband. Can you tell me anything else about where you are or what happened?”

              “We argued this morning before he left for work and I killed him,” Victoria answered.

              The dispatcher added this information in her instructions to the police unit on its way to the general area the call was coming from.

              “What did you and John argue about?” asked the dispatcher. Maybe if he could keep her talking, he would get something more useful.

              “He said I was spending too much money. But it was just a misunderstanding. He thought I was wearing a new dress, but it wasn’t a new dress.” Her voice trailed off.

              “Okay, I have an officer on their way to your location. I’m going to stay on the phone with you until they arrive. Can you tell me anything else about what happened to your husband?”

              “He was angry,” she answered.

              The dispatcher entered more information to the unit on the way to the location.

              Somewhere in the night, two sheriff deputies were driving down a deserted county road. A thin mist hung in the air, in the beams of the headlights. The road seemed to absorb the light.

              “This sounds strange to me,” said the deputy from the passenger seat.

              “What does?” answered her partner.

              “Dispatch says it’s a woman, alone, who reports she killed her husband after a domestic incident. But the woman can’t tell them what happened or where her husband is now.”

              “Is dispatch sure about the location? I don’t know who would be out here. There’s nothing around here.”

              “Maybe she dumped the body and then decided to call herself in,” suggested the deputy.

              The dispatcher was getting nowhere with Victoria. She was clearly in shock. She spoke in a flat tone. Her voice was completely devoid of any emotion.

              “Victoria, do you see any cars where you are?” he asked her, hoping the squad car was close.

              “No, I don’t see anyone,” she answered.

              The dispatcher tapped out instructions to the dispatched car. “I’m going to ask the officers en route to you to use their lights and sirens to help you see or hear them, okay Victoria?”

              Out on the road, the deputy spotted the incoming instructions.

              “Dispatch wants us to turn on the lights and sirens,” said the deputy. Her partner pressed a couple of buttons on the dash. Flickers of red and blue reflected across the bare trees lining the roadway. The sirens echoed into the dark night.

              “I think I hear something,” Victoria told the dispatcher. “It sounds like sirens.”

              “Good,” answered the dispatcher. “Do you see lights?”

              “Yes, I think I see them.”

              “Are you near the road?” asked the dispatcher.

              “No,” responded Victoria.

              “Can you get to the side of the road? The officers will have an easier time finding you.”


              The dispatcher heard crunching leaves and snapping twigs. The wailing sirens were faint in the background. He sent another message to the car to slow down. They were getting close.

              “We’re getting close. Sounds like she’s somewhere in these woods. The dispatcher can hear the sirens on the call,” said the deputy. Her partner let off the gas and the car slowed. The deputy scanned the sides of the road. “We may need to stop. I can’t see a thing.” Her partner eased the car to the shoulder of the road and came to a stop.

              “Tell dispatch to tell the woman to head for the car.” They got out of the car, pulling torch lights from their belts, shining them through the trees on either side of the road.

              “Are you still with me, Victoria?” asked the dispatcher.

              “Yes, I’m still here,” she answered, slightly breathless.

              “Good. Can you still hear the sirens?”

              “Yes, they’re louder now.”

              “Okay, good. The deputies are out near the road looking for you. Do you see the red and blue lights from the car or flashlights anywhere around you?” asked the dispatcher.

              “Yes, I see red and blue flashes.”

              “Okay, good. You keep walking and head for the red and blue lights. I’m going to stay with you.” SPLASH. “Victoria, are you okay?”

              “Yes, I’m okay,” she answered. “I stepped in a stream or a puddle or something.”

              “But you’re okay?” asked the dispatcher again.

              “Yes,” she responded over the splashing of her steps in the water.

              Up on the roadway, the two deputies worked slowly down both sides of the roadway, shining their flashlight beams into the trees.

              “Do you see anything?” asked the deputy.

              “Nothing on this side,” said her partner.

              “She can’t be far,” answered the deputy. “Wait, I think I see something.” Her partner moved to the other side of the road, shining his beam to meet hers.

              “How did she get way out here,” responded her partner.

              “Victoria?” called the deputy. The woman stumbled in the glare of the flashlight beams.

              “I can’t see,” the woman called back.

              The deputy lowered her beam to the ground in front of the woman as she made her way over a fallen branch. Her partner kept his beam up near the woman’s face. He seemed frozen.

              “Lower your beam,” commanded the deputy. Her partner jerked his arm down. His wide eyes never left the woman’s face.

              When she finally broke through the tree line to the shoulder of the road, she stopped a moment. The deputy’s free hand went to her holster. An instinct. The woman was wearing a long, ice blue, satin nightgown with a matching floral print robe. Her long brown hair was tangled around her head. Her hands hung at her side, still holding her cell phone in her right hand. The deputy glanced to her left, noticing her partner seemed frozen.

              “Victoria, can you put your hands up in the air for me?” asked the deputy.

              “She didn’t kill her husband,” said her partner suddenly.

              “What? How do you know?” asked the deputy.

              “She’s my wife.”

November 08, 2020 01:03

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Kate M
20:30 Dec 01, 2020

I enjoyed this story through and through. Short, bewildering, and kept me on the edge of my seat. (Truth be told, I nearly fell off it 🤣). I loved the ending—what a plot twist! Amazing. Amazing. Thanks for sharing!


Heidi Slowinski
00:29 Dec 05, 2020

Thank so much for your feedback! I'm pleased you enjoyed.


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Rayhan Hidayat
10:50 Nov 21, 2020

Thrilling! Love how it jumps back and forth between the dispatcher and the deputy—really gives the reader a bird’s eye view of the police procedure. Kudos 😙


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Angelina Tran
15:15 Nov 18, 2020

Oh my god. The plot twist! This story was enchanting from the beginning, but I have (only) one suggestion. The line: “How did she get way out here,” responded her partner. Could be: “How did she get way out here?” responded her partner, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.


Heidi Slowinski
22:46 Nov 18, 2020

Thanks for the feedback and for pointing out my typo. I always think I've caught them all but a few always manage to slip through.


Angelina Tran
23:04 Nov 18, 2020

Anytime! And same with me, haha


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Leela Madhuri
05:41 Aug 08, 2021

I too felt the same!!!


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Blushing Bride
22:34 Feb 25, 2021

I literally said "Oh shxt." out loud. Very well written and kept you interested the whole way. Bravo! I'm a new story-teller Youtuber and I'm looking for quality thriller/horror/mystery short stories to tell on my channel - I was wondering if you were interested in allowing me to use your work? It would involve me verbally telling and voice acting the story and creating cinematography that enhances the story. Feel free to email me at :


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Great work! Do write a second part!


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Marie ONeal
01:12 Nov 21, 2020

Great job with the twist at the end. Didn't see that coming!


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Felicity Anne
15:25 Nov 20, 2020

Congratulations on your amazing shortlist, Heidi!!! :)


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Sia S
15:15 Nov 20, 2020



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Jennalee Love
18:40 Nov 19, 2020

I love this. It definitely kept me in suspense the entire time and that plot twist. I would definitely read more.


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Annette Lovewind
21:18 Nov 18, 2020

This was a really good story. I like the plot twist in the end


Heidi Slowinski
22:47 Nov 18, 2020

Thank you!


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Audrey Kirby
14:11 May 09, 2022

what a plot twist


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Jatin Zadoo
17:33 Jan 31, 2022

The ending was amazing... Loved it...


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14:54 Sep 20, 2021

Wow great suspenses and tension leading up to it and then BAM TWIST RIGHT AT THE END leaving the teader breathless. Amazing job!!!


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Devasandhan Nair
05:01 Aug 18, 2021

Wow! This was engaging! No words can describe the awesomeness.


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Life 360
04:56 Aug 18, 2021

But while police were coming there.. Didn't they know her name?? Dawson??..


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Dattu Bhai
20:57 Jul 23, 2021

One thing, If you can give me story rights, i wanna take a short film with this in my native language, May I ? I am from indian film industry. A short film director.


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Dattu Bhai
20:56 Jul 23, 2021

I like your concept atmost. But have a doubt at climax scene. What's your point of thinking that What you are going to convey the audience about her wife (I mean, why she did like that, Is she mad or had she went herself to those woods thinking of her husband murder which in unreal and where she dreamed of killing her husband and called polce? )


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Shaffron Xarmy
13:57 Jun 05, 2021

its so thrilling anf fun ijust the wayy i like it i like the twist and kill and stuff like that i LOVE ITTTT\


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Laxmi Sahani
13:26 May 30, 2021

Absolutely Amazing!! I thought she would lead them back to her home or maybe she was a ghost or something. Amazing work Heidi.


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Neri Sompanos
02:47 May 30, 2021

Holy anchovi! Amazing plot twist there!


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