The Master Switch

(Write about someone who purposefully causes a power outage.)

You might wonder who I am!   I would have to tell you at this point it doesn’t matter who I am.  Let’s just say,  I’m the guy telling the story.  Not really a narrator but for now I can take that role!  And now for the story!

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Elise was a natural beauty.  She learned as early as toddlerhood that cute gets attention, pouting works, bad manners were always forgiven for the little princess.

In other words she was spoiled rotten.  And, don’t get me wrong, some of that is cute in a savvy toddler but it becomes just plain conniving in a young adult.

Elise had gone through four best friends in the time I knew her but I was so enamored with being with her it never occurred to me that she would also go through boyfriends just as fast.  Better looking, better car, more money or just better at treating her like the screwed up princess role she felt she deserved.

Yes, I was her last serious boyfriend, almost fiancé, before this poor sap,  George!

I will tell you, it came as a huge shock when she kicked me to the curb.  It really screwed me up so when my uncle offered me a grunt job on a construction job building a resort community I grabbed it with both hands!  Got me out of town, out of sight and her out of my mind!

It was a cool job but usually very short handed so I was enlisted to help the plumber and electrician and I was all over the place learning some cool useful stuff. 

Meanwhile, back in our town,  Elise was mowing through men as though the supply was endless.  And then she met George!  

George was Elise in jockey shorts!  He was as spoiled as she was!  It was a battle of wills but both really had the same  objectives.  Show this town what a great big fancy wedding would look like and then watch the golden couple rise in society.   I felt like gagging.

They had reserved and rented the roof of the tallest building in town for the wedding and reception.  It wasn’t just any roof, it had a private elevator to access the roof.  Retractable roof and awnings in case of weather,  a huge beautiful buffet and rotating bar and a gorgeous hardwood dance floor.  It was exquisite!  

Date set, invitations mailed, flowers, dresses, everything perfect.

The scene is set.  The eight bridesmaids went off to the city to find dresses.  It was spoken about in town as a fairytale wedding.  Yes I am gagging!  If I sound like I’m bitter,  well I am a little but my next thought is, I barely escaped being part of this extravaganza!

My uncle was hired to make a few changes the “bride” demanded and also to check out and evaluate the sound system.  So keeping my eyes on my feet, the floor or out a window so as not to actually see Elise.  I was part of the prep work,  it was a very amazing place.  

My uncle and I were checking out the lights and sound and he commented the electrical system must have been put in by Mickey Mouse!  It was very basic and would just barely handle the extra lights and sound system.  I shrugged and thought that nothing mattered except the facade and it was  meant to impress.

Sunset was chosen as the time to have vows and first dance on the exotic hardwood dance floor.  The golden hour when the light warms everything and everyone feels relaxed and so so good.  I stopped gagging long enough to admit it was a great and beautiful setup for a lovely wedding.

On the perfect day, the perfect couple arrived as did the perfect guests.  The elevator carried supplies up the service elevator and guests up the plush leather trimmed main elevator.  The roof began to fill with music and champagne corks were popping as the crowd waited for the perfect moment.

This is where things start to go a bit ….”not perfect”!

Someone mentioned that the weather was only a county away.  No golden hour of perfect light and possibly the roof and awning will need to be engaged.  

As I stood in a rented room below the roof, a room used to service the roof in various ways, I looked to the west.  I could already see distant lightning flashes!  Believe it or not, part of me felt bad for the perfect couple, well only for about ten seconds and then a really shitty plan began to form in my mind.

Could I be this mean?   Could I be this bad?  Hmmm?   Good God Almighty, I think I can.  

I went across the hall and into the big utility area that ran the roof!  I began to trace the wiring and switches and everything eventually led to a panel of circuit breakers or large master controls to handle the power for specific zones and/or jobs.

A breaker for the elevators, one for the retractable roof, a third for general lighting and sound, the fourth for heating and cooling…..just like that.  And then one below them all labeled...MASTER!

The music had stopped blaring and so I went up to the roof to peek in to see how things were going.  The eight bridesmaids were in a line.  The eight groomsmen were perfect, handsome and each taking a beautiful bridesmaid on his arm.  It was so great….not really but it would have been great if it was anyone else’s wedding.

The minister was encouraging everyone to be quick as a storm was approaching.  The groom and best man were in place, the wedding music began on cue, and the guests had their eyes glued to the entrance for the first sight of the bride.  No doubt her dress had come from Paris!

No one seemed to be paying any attention to the storm as it moved closer and closer.  I was watching it and trying to decide.  Yes or no?  Do it or not?  Crap!  What kind of a heel was I?

I went on down a floor and into the large utility service room.  I stood with my hands on my hips.  I thought about being kicked to the curb!  I thought about lessons learned in life.  Sometimes lessons need to be tough.  Yes that’s it!  This is tough love!

I went to the breakers and began to quickly shut down each system.  Then I pulled down hard on the MASTER switch the one that overrides everything.

And just like that….no lights, no sound system, no roof, no awning and the worse (best) part, no elevators!   

The elite of the elite were getting a soaking.  The frosting on the cake was melting and running on the table, ladies were frightened and men were confused.  Nothing worked.  No escape!  Well no immediate escape!  If they settle down enough to call on one of the hundreds of cell phones on the roof, someone, but not me, would come and reverse the breakers.  No harm done.  (Chuckle)

I was three blocks away, hands in my pockets and whistling a happy tune by

 the time someone got to the service room.  No one had a clue how this could have happened.  It was a real mystery!

Was I proud of myself?   Heck no but ….it was kind of funny.  Don’t you think?