Nobody noticed Jake's absence during the English class in the only college in the city. Jake loved technology. So, he took the computer science stream.
Mrs. Norwich, the English lecturer for the class, had switched on the television in the class when a college staff member came and whispered something. She was a tall, young woman with black hair and large spectacles.
The news flashed,"The Big Jumper is having another encounter with the Trapshot".
"Wow!", shouted the excited students. The Big Jumper was a hero in that small city and could make large leaps.
Many times the encounter had happened between The Big Jumper and Trapshot. Nobody knew the reason why they were fighting and who they were.
The bell rang for the college and all the students ran to witness the fight between the hero and the villain.
Trapshot, though not his real name, looked terrifying with self-made advanced technology weapons. Nobody knew his real name. People thronged in the devastated street to watch this encounter. The Big Jumper in a green-blue attire which he dons all the time while he fights, to hide his identity. Trapshot looks like a cowboy on his brown outfit and black boots.
"Give me that suit," shouted Trapshot.
"Not possible, Trapshot," replied The Big Jumper.
" What…," before Trapshot could finish his sentence, The Big Jumper packed a punch on Trapshot's face which sent him flying. Trapshot escaped on his Superbike which could also fly and the crowd applauded The Big Jumper for the gallantry act. He signed some notebooks and took photos with his admirers. At that time, many police cars came to the street. A bank robbery had happened in the nearby bank. Then The Big Jumper ran into an empty street and touched his chest. Suddenly, the suit started disappearing and there stood Jake. He was a strong man with large fists and the suit made him more powerful. He had silky brown hair with blue eyes. He walked into the empty college to take his backpack, but it was not in its place. He went home, keeping his head down. It was his favourite backpack and he had kept it for five years. He was the only child to his parents and they showered all their love on him. They were very friendly towards Jake and never used to chide him. The teachers liked him even though he barely attended the college nor did he secure good marks but for his socialising attitude.
Meanwhile, people witnessed Trapshot going into the police station and having a conversation with the police. People living near the police station were afraid that Trapshot had got the police in his hands.
The following day, Jake decided to attend college. On that day, a new student came to class.
Mrs. Norwich introduced her as Jane to the entire class. She had curly black hair and she shone brightly like the moon. No one could take eyes off her, but she saw Jake admiringly. She went and sat on the bench where the academically bright students sat.
At lunch time, many gathered in front of Jane to get a chance to go out with her. But she didn't seem interested. She found Jake standing in the shade of the tree outside the class and started walking towards him.
"Hi, would you be interested to accompany me to the cafe?", She asked Jake.
"Sure," Jake said while the other students looked at him in surprise.
As they were chatting while sipping coffee in a cafe nearby, a woman cried,"somebody catch the thief. He is taking my purse".
Jake thought to himself "this looks like a job for The Big Jumper". He took this as a chance to impress Jane. He put down the coffee glass on the table and went into an empty street where no one could see him. He changed into his suit and started chasing the thief. As he could take huge leaps, he caught the thief in no time. He changed into Jake and handed over the purse to the woman. Then he saw some guys trying to kidnap a small girl. Jake remembered Jane waiting for him in the coffee shop. He called the police station near him to come and save the girl and ran to the cafe. But when he returned to the coffee shop, she was not there. He had missed a nice chance to be with her. As he walked in disappointment he saw Jane talking to the same woman whose purse was stolen. He rushed to talk to her.
“Sorry for leaving you in the middle of a conversation. Do you know that woman, Jane?”
“It's okay. Jake, what you did was awesome. No, I was just asking the route to the shopping mall nearby to her,” she said, trembling in surprise.
“Thank you for saving my purse, young man,” the woman said.
“It’s my pleasure,” said Jake.
“Okay, Jake. I have to leave now,” Jane said and walked away. Jake’s mood got better.
On his way to his house, his phone rang. It was his friend, Collins.
"Hey, Jake," Collins started.
"What's the matter, Collins?", asked Jake.
"That new girl Jane is going out with your archenemy, Jake Hutchins".
"Yes, I saw them go out".
"Don't worry, Jake. You come to college and talk to her again".
"Okay, Collins. Bye," said Jake and hanged the call. His frustration knew no bounds.. He put on his suit and started jumping building after building. Hutchins and Jake were college mates, and they didn’t get along with each other. He was another handsome man.
On the following day, Jake went to the college and to his surprise saw that Jane was waiting for him. This time he knew he wouldn't miss the chance to go out with her. He decided to reveal his identity to get her attention better.
"Let's go to the coffee shop again," invited Jake.
"Okay, but before you run away, say the reason to me,” said Jane.
"Okay," said Jake with a smile. They were happily chatting, but this happiness didn't last long. Everyone in the streets started running. They were afraid of something. Jake and Jane went to see what was happening. It was the Trapshot again.
She called the police immediately. But, Jake started running away.
"What are you doing, Jake?", shouted Jane.
“I am afraid of Trapshot. I am going home,” he replied. But soon The Big Jumper swung into action. This time the police had come on time.
“ You cannot escape today, Trapshot. The police have come to arrest you on time,” The Big Jumper said, triumphantly.
But Trapshot just gave a wild grin and the police started attacking The Big Jumper. Jake was very confused.
He fled the scene and found a place on a tall skyscraper to think what was happening around him. Suddenly, he saw a poster saying “Please defeat Trapshot. He has got the police in his hands”.
Jake thought,”that could also be the reason for the police attacking me. Today I will end his story”. Suddenly he remembered some familiar faces. The woman to whom he had given the purse and the thief were among the police force. He was very confused.
He thought he had to talk to Jane to clear some of his doubts as he trusted Jane a lot.
Jake called Jane to meet him in his house.
Jane arrived in an hour and sat down to talk with him.
"Okay, Jake. What is it?", Jane asked eagerly.
"Who are you? Can you say something about yourself,” Jake asked.
“What is it, Jake? You appear tensed up”.
“I trust you, but, I want to know more about you”.
“Hmm, okay. But do you know that people are talking about Trapshot coming to the police station and having a strong conversation with the police?”Jane asked, to divert him from knowing about her.
“Really! This explains a lot”, Jake exclaimed.
“What does it explain?” she asked.
“Nothing. Just an expression”.
“Okay, why did you call me, Jake?”
" I have to say one important thing to you, Jane".
"I am The Big Jumper”.
“What? Are you joking! Jake".
He touched his chest and his suit appeared.
“Now do you believe? I have to touch this button on my chest to become The Big Jumper,” Jake said, delightedly waiting for her response.
Jake made his suit disappear and said,” I have to tell you another important thing”.
“You are full of surprises, Jake”.
“Andy and I were childhood friends," Jake started.
"Who is Andy?"
"Wait. We loved technology, but I didn't take any effort to innovate things. But he did. He was an ardent boy. At the summer holiday of 11th grade, he started to make a suit. I was eager to find what suit it was. He revealed it to me and it was a jumper suit, which I use right now. I liked it very much and I wanted to own it. But Andy refused to give it to me. So, I stole the Jumper suit. From then on, I am using his suit to save people and he started to do terrorizing things to get back his suit. He doesn't want to be a villain, but I had made him one. He isn’t the kind of person who blackmails people as I know him. I never shared this with anyone," Jake said with a sigh.
“It’s okay, Jake. Don’t worry,” Jane said and embraced him. But Jake felt something on his hands. It was a handcuff.
Jane touched her ear and then only did Jake notice that she had an earpiece in her left ear.
"Confirmed, Sir. You may come.", she said. She stood up and showed her identity card to him. She was a police officer.
" What did you do right now?"Jake asked, panicking.
"I am a spy. Trapshot aka Andy had come to the police station. We were afraid and took weapons for our defence. But he had come unarmed. He lodged a complaint against The Big Jumper. We were surprised when we heard that The Big Jumper had stolen the jumper suit from him. We didn't believe him so we started to investigate it. He also said that every fight was planned by The Big Jumper and that it was an attempt to distract the police and the people to do other crimes like robbery and kidnapping. It was a valid point that he had given and he was not wrong. You were the one who planned the robbery and also the kidnapping of the small girl to distract the police. He said that he had saved the girl from the rogue gang. You are not the hero, Jake. Andy is. He also said that The Big Jumper's name was Jake. He didn't remember the last name so we were a little confused. So I was sent to know about you and Jake Hutchins. The thief and the woman’s purse getting robbed was all our set-up to find out your real identity. Now we have found out the secret of your power and you were right about his character," Jane explained.
“You gave me a big surprise, Jane,” Jake said, ironically.
Many police cars were standing in straight rows to take Jake to prison. Andy was also there.
"Come back as my friend, Jake," Andy said.
Jake was taken into the police van with dozens of policemen to make sure that Jake cannot escape.
The head police officer decided to say that they had arrested Trapshot so that Andy would continue to win the trust of people as The Big Jumper.
A wild grin came on Jake's face as he knew what was going to happen next.
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Wow Keerththan! You asked me to read, and I did! You have an interesting style of writing and I look forward to reading more of your stories. I also really liked that twist at the end. Thank you for directing me to this story and make sure to keep writing!
Thank you for reading, Lizzie. I am glad that you liked the twist at the end. Stay healthy, Lizzie.
It's so upbeat! I love it! And the way you ended it, "He knew that from then on he would be a disturbance to the world" was great :) One thing is that in your dialogue, you put your commas out of your quotations. The correct way is to make your ending marks before the quotations. Otherwise, it's brilliant, a lovely entry for the prompt!
Thank you for commenting. I am glad you liked my story. Thank you for reading.😃😃
Thank you very much. I didn't notice that mistake.
Your welcome! :)
This is an amazing story! I absolutely love the plot twist at the end. You really emphasized that all villains are terrorizing people because of their inner motive. I never expected Jake to be the one sitting in a jail cell in the end. Great job! I can't wait to read more of your stories.
I am glad that you loved the plot twist. Thank you for reading.
Ooh I loved it!!! A great twist, but make sure to be aware of the pacing. Otherwise, it's cool, keep writing!
Next time, I will try to make the pace a bit slower and thank you for reading. I am glad you liked my story. Stay healthy.
Yes suree and anytime!!
Quite an action-packed plot - I really enjoyed the twist at the end! Though this is more of a narrative story, I do feel that the characterisation was sort of brushed over. It's quite important to describe a character's motives or reasoning and not just appearance. One piece of valuable advice I'd suggest is show don't tell. For example, "She was a tall, young woman with black hair and large spectacles." This is a good sentence. It's fast, it's straightforward and it's informative. However, it's not a detail that would particularly stick...
Wow! What a description! I will try to do it like that next time. Thank you for taking your time in commenting. Thank you for reading and I am glad you enjoyed my story.
Interesting story, great twist. I read many of the comments below and saw that many gave feedback on 'grammar', 'language', and I will add 'word choice', but few actually gave you much in the way of practical examples. I feel uncomfortable with saying "Improve!" but then not showing what I mean. / The Big Jumper is having another encounter with the Trapshot / here you use 'the' before Trapshot. This is the only place. It is awkward a you are naming a person. / Many times the encounter had happened between The Big Jumper and Trapsh...
Thank you for taking your time in commenting. I will learn from my mistakes. I will try the suggestion given by you. I also use Grammarly.😁😁🙌🙌🙌. Thank you for reading.
Thank you reading my story and commenting. I enjoyed your story and the twists . Love your dialog. I look forward to more
Thank you for reading my story. I am glad you enjoyed my story.
Great plot but the introduction of the characters seem to be hurried and the transition from one to another is not very smooth. You are young, work it out. I'm proud of you putting yourself out here early on. As for me, I never had the confidence until lately and now I'm too busy with life to give it a real go. So keep it up and take note of constructive comments
I will definitely work out my introduction. Thank you for taking your time in commenting and thank you for reading. I have joined here to learn and many are very supportive. Would you mind liking my story? Thank you.
Very well done Keerththan! I cannot stress how important it is to write as much as possible from a young age and to take on all the advice you get. I started writing stories when I was 8 years old and although I did a bit of writing throughout junior school and high school, I was not very consistent. Only at 27 have I started writing again, meaning that I make lots of basic mistakes and struggle to formulate content at a level of consistency with my peers. I enjoy how you don't make the mistake of over-describing characters. E.g:...
It gave me a smile when I read it looks like Superman and for me it looks like hulk. You are a good writer too. Thank you for reading and taking your time to type such a long comment. 8years is a very young age to start writing. Well done. Thanks for your well wishes.
I really enjoyed your story, Keerththan. It was action-packed and read very smoothly. And so creative! I loved how the police regulate the superheroes and twists. A great - unexpected ending as well. I am looking forward to reading more of your work - keep 'em coming!
I am glad that you enjoyed my story. Loved your comments. Thank you for reading, Kristin.
Great job Keerththan, I really enjoyed your story. Waiting for the next!!
I am glad that you enjoyed my story, Daly. Thank you for reading.
Great job--your have an interesting plot line--as with all writers, re-read, re-write to uncover the splendour of your story
Thank you for reading. Would you mind liking my story?
I loved the spin you put on the superhero and villain genre. Your storytelling is very enjoyable. Just make sure to watch your punctuation. The part where you wrote — "Wow!", shouted the excited students. Take out the comma behind the exclamation point. The exclamation point is your final punctuation. Be sure to capitalize the first word in your next sentence after the exclamation point. "Wow!" Shouted the excited students. Instead of — "Wow!", shouted the excited students. Just check your punctuation. But your story is masterfully ad...
Thank you for taking your time in commenting. I am starting to learn new things from the amazing authors in Reedsy. Next time I would be aware of the punctuation and grammar. Thank you for reading and I am glad that you liked my story.
I didn't like it... I loved it!
Thank you, Skyler Woods. I love your stories too. Keep writing and stay healthy.
Wow, that was interesting. It was a great read. Keep writing! :)
Thank you for reading.
Oh my GOD, ur stuff is SOOOO good. You have a lot of potential as a young writer. I look forward to seeing more of ur stuff, Keerththan!
Thank you for reading. I am glad that you liked my story.
It's a great story! You have many people giving advice on what you should improve and giving valuable feedback. If it was shorter it would be easier to read and get your message across. Stay frosty
Thank you, Miles.
Hii! You asked me to read. This was really creative, and I liked how you incorporated the superpower in it. A few typos her and there, so I would recommend proof reading it or showing it to an adult for some additional feedback. Efficiency is also a big thing, so make sure you take care of that, too. Otherwise, great story! Keep on going!
Thank you for taking your time in commenting. I will definitely ask an adult to proofread next time. Thank you for reading. Would you mind liking my story?
Good effort keerthu. Expecting more from you....
hi , amazing plot, wonderful story. there were a little grammar mistakes here and there but i'm sure you'll correct it next time , all in all it's nice
I will correct my grammar mistakes next time. Thank you for reading and I am glad you liked my story. Would you mind liking my story?
You're off to a good start, kid! There's definitely room to improve on the grammar and overall story-telling, as some comments have already mentioned, but the best thing you can do is just keep writing. Wish I was confident enough to submit stuff to contests at your age! Best time to just put the hours in. The first thing I would work on, if I were you, is efficiency. As someone else already said, try to avoid stating the obvious, and also try not to be repetitive. For example: "Mrs. Norwich, the English lecturer for the class, had switc...
Thank you for commenting. I make small grammatical mistakes but, I will learn from them. I will try to improve myself. I will definitely try Google docs. Thank you for reading and taking your time in commenting.