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Teens & Young Adult Funny


Luke carried his backpack out of class.

“Yo!” Wally called as Luke walked to his locker,

“Hey, how was class?” Luke asked, towering over Wally.

“Sucked. Ms. Bitchovic gave us a fuckin pop quiz on horizons.”

“She did?

“Yes! And I frickin bombed it!”

“THAT SUCKS! What is wrong with that woman?!”

“I don't know.”

“You have physics tomorrow, right?”

Wally groaned and brushed his brown, curly hair back. “Yes, and don’t remind me!"

Luke watched as two boys with black leather jackets walked by with their spiky hair all gelled up. “Hey! I have an idea!"

"What?" Wally said.

"We should form a gang!”

“What?” Wally blurted out.

“Yeah. Our lives suck… It’s just the same shit every day; school. Home… and that’s pretty much it."

“I don’t know, Luke. Gang life can be dangerous! We could get arrested or worse..."

“Nothing’s gonna happen."

“How do you know?”

“I don’t, but sometimes you gotta grab life by the horns."

“I just don't know..."

“C’mon, Wally, don’t be a gimp.”

“OK… What the Hell? Let's form a gang!"

 

Hmm, we need something to distinguish ourselves from other gangs... no chains.. or tattoos. Well, we can have tattoos, but I'm not going to make anyone get a tat...

Hmm... Luke looked down. What if our legs showed? Shorts?... Nah. Then, what?

 

Then, it hit Luke like a ton of bricks.

 

“No freakin way!” Wally said, standing in Luke’s room.

“They’re simple. Instead of baggy pants down to our asses, we just wear—"

“I ain’t wearing them!”

“Do you wanna be respected?”

“No one will take us seriously, hanging in the streets in those…”

“Probably not, but why not? It’s unique.”

“Where did you get these?”

My cousin let me have a box."

“He wears—"

“Uh, no.”

“Then, why does he have—"

“Just try one on.”

“No, dude!”

“Please?”

“Fuck no!”

“You want to be in this gang or not?”

“Fine!” He took his pants off.“ Hand me the damn thing.”

“Aren't you gonna take your—”

“No!”

“Come on!”

“I ain't taking them off!”

“You gotta if you wanna be in the gang.”

“Fine!” He stripped off his red boxers.

“Here ya go.” Luke handed his friend one.

”Uh…”

“What?”

“I don’t know how to put it on.”

“Let me.” I put it on him and did the tapes.

“Dude. this is weird.”

“How does it feel?”

“Uh, I don't know.”

“Walk around in it,” Luke said and took his pants and underwear off.

“Uh, OK, you're putting one on, too.”

“Just walk,” Luke said as he closed the garment over his crotch.

Wally took several steps around my bed. “It’s fine, I guess? but, are we really gonna go out in this?”

“Yes, dude. We gotta stand out.”

 “This is insane! What are we gonna do?”

 

The next day, Luke walked into biology class and sat at his seat.

“Hey” Max, a buff dude said next to him.

“Sup”

“Just waiting for this wonderful class to start.” He rolled his hazel eyes.

“I know, right? I’m so sick of school.“

“I got a fifty-nine in geometry on my last report card, so Coach kicked me off the team”

“Dude, that’s stupid! One F on your report card?”

“Yeah. The rest were all Cs… and one A.”

“That’s bullcrap! Did you beg?”

“Yes, but his decision was ‘final’ ” Max air-quoted and laid his head down on his desk.

“That sucks”

“Tell me about it! I guess I have more free time now… Whoopie-doo.” Max twirled his finger in the air.

“I know how you could spend your free time.”

“How?”

“Wally and I are forming a gang, wanna join?”

“What kind of gang?”

“A special one. Round up your friends and meet me and Wally in the alley today after school.”

“OK.”

* * *

"Where is he?" Luke asked, pacing around the alley.

"Prolly best if he and his friends don't show. We are gonna get so hosed!" Wally said.

"Would you stop being a little bitch? This will work!"

"Bet you fifty bucks this backfires and we get strung up the tetherball pole by our underwear for the rest of our lives."

Luke rolled his eyes.

“Hey,” Max said, followed by a crowd.

“Hey, welcome to our little family!” Luke smiled. “I'm Luke and this is my partner in crime, Wally.”

“'Sup,” Wally said.

“We take care of each other in this gang nobody is left behind.”

A few smiled.

“There’s a clothing code you must go by…” Luke reached into his bag and pulled a bunch of diapers out.

“You're joking, right?” a short girl blurted out.

“No, we must distinguish ourselves from other gangs,” Luke said and pulled his pants off along with Wally.

“Are you fucking kidding?” a blonde-haired girl scoffed.

“No.” Luke patted the front of his striped diaper.”

“OK, then…”

”Come on, let's go.” Everyone walked away.

“I told you so,” Wally whispered in Luke’s ear.

Max shrugged and said, “What the fuck?” Then, he took his pants off.

“Skivvies, too”

“Who the Hell says skivvies??”

He walked around the dumpster and threw his tighty-whities on the ground. Luke handed him a diaper,

A minute later, he walked out.

“Looking good!” Luke smiled.

“Not the craziest thing I’ve done!” Max chuckled.

“Who's next?” Luke asked.

A bulky girl chewing gum stepped forward. “This is nuts, but I’ll do it.”

Nearly three quarters stood in the alley. Their diapers fastened. The rest flipped Luke off and left.

“Eleven people… Well, that exceeded my expectations! Now that initiation is over, tell me about yourselves,” Luke said and whispered in Wally's ear, "Oh, and pay up tonight."

"It can still backfire."

"Pay up." Luke slapped Wally's padded butt.

Wally grumbled.

Luke cleared his throat. "OK. Let's begin..."

“My name’s Clarissa. I draw funny little comics. And I want to be a writer.”

“Awesome! Drawing and writing, huh? Well, seems like you will be a self-made person!” Wally said

“Haha! Thanks!” Clarissa replied.

“I’m Noah. I'm sixteen. I've looted fifteen shops and never got caught,” a boy with a green pompadour said.

“Name’s Maria. Grew up, in the hood, dawg. and I like chili!”

A few laughed.

“I’m Mike. And I can't believe I put a diaper on for a gang! Seriously though… I love the Mavericks. Me and my sister went to see em at the playoffs. I am also a huge anime nerd! I watch Toonami every Saturday night. My favorite shows are Assassination Classroom and Cowboy Bebop.”

“You watch Cowboy Bebop!” Noah blurted out. “I love that show! The ending is sad, but the rest is great!”

“I know, right!”

“I'm David. I guess there's not much to me except I’m a master of picking locks.”

“Hey, um, Luke? Why do we have to wear diapers to be in this gang?” Mike asked.

“To establish our own identity.”

“But, why diapers?”

“Why not? Plus, they can be very convenient here in the alley, if you know what I mean.”

“Well, I like it!. It’s very comfy!” Clarissa said and patted her diaper.

Noah smirked.

“What?” 

“This is goofy as hell. Nobody will take us seriously… which is genius! We can get away with anything! How did you come up with this clothing attire, Luke?”

“Like I said, we needed something…gangs wear baggy pants, so… I don’t know, it popped in my head and I went for it.”

“Well, I’m glad you trusted your head cuz these are fucking genius!” Noah said, stroking his diaper.

“Can we wear different kinds of diapers?” Maria asked.

“Sure? What kind?” Luke asked.

“Well, I was thinking maybe with Disney characters.”

“If you want to wear fancy ones, go ahead. As long as it’s a diaper.”

“Cool!”

“What if my parents find out what I'm wearing?” Clarissa asked.

“I will always keep a supply when you come, so you can put one on then,” Luke replied.

“Cool!”

“Any more questions?”

“Can someone change me?” Mike asked.

“Your hands work.”

“Yes, but it would be best if somebody else did it.”

“Why?”

“I’m kinda bad at changing diapers.”

“OK, I’ll do it.”

Luke undid the tapes and took the diaper off. “We need baby wipes if we're gonna change our diapers here.” He grabbed a fresh diaper and put it on him.

“There. Feel better?”

“Yes, It’s perfect! Why do you know how to change a diaper?”

“I used to change my cousins.”

“Oh, cool”

“No prob.” I patted his padded butt.

“What next?” Noah asked.

“We need baby wipes, right?”

“I guess?”

“Let's go steal some.”

* * *

“Mike, Noah, distract the employees while I get baby wipes,” Luke said., standing outside of Target.

Mike and Noah walked in. People stared. Some smiled. They approached a bald officer.

“Hey,” Mike said.

“What happened to your pants?”

“We like wearing diapers,” Noah replied.

“Is this part of some crazy bet or something?”

”No, we just like wearing diapers.”

“Well, you should put some pants on.”

“Why?” Mike asked.

* * *

Luke walked to the baby aisle and looked around. No one in sight. He dumped a couple of boxes of baby wipes in his jacket and walked away. He passed the aisle when a box slipped out his jacket.

"Best use a shopping cart." a slightly pudgy lady smiled.

"Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking," Luke replied.

"You're not up to something, are you?"

"No. Just getting supplies for my little nephew."

"Oh, well, have a good day."

Luke let out a sigh of relief. He pulled his pants down and looked. Yep, I need a change.

* * *

Mike saw Luke turning the corner. “Well, it's been good talking to you.”

“Aren't you gonna buy something?” asked the security officer.

“Our big brother’s buying us a surprise… he said to wait here.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. We’re actually toddlers on the inside.”

“I see.”

Luke walked to them.

“Would you get us some Trix, please?” Mike asked and smiled.

“Why don’t you get it yourself? You’re old enough.” The officer smirked.

“We told our brother we would stay right here.”

“You want me to get you two some Trix?”

‘”Please.”

The officer rolled his eyes. “Alright… Wait here.” He walked five aisles down and turned.

Mike and Noah joined Luke and walked through the doors when the alarm sounded.

They dashed across the parking lot as fast as their legs could carry them. Their heart beats raced. They made it to the edge of the lot and turned around.

“We did it!”

Luke took his jacket off and pulled his diaper up. “Yup. We bad!”

“I need a change once we get back,” Mike said.

“We came, we saw, we looted!” Luke exclaimed, yet kept his voice down just in case.

“Alright!”

Luke dumped the contents on the ground.

“Nice!“

"You got the Disney ones!" Maria said.

"Yep!" Luke smiled.

"Thank you. Um, hey, Clarissa, can you change my diaper?"

"Uh...?"

"Oh, sorry." Maria's face turned red.

"No, it's OK. I'll change you."

 

Marisa stepped out in her Little Mermaid Pamper.

"How do I look?" Marisa asked, rubbing her diaper.

"Very cute!"

"Thanks! Um, I wanna tell you about my life,” Maria said.

“Sure, go ahead,” Luke said.

“My dad died when I was seven and my mom — she's a piece of shit! She works fifteen hours a day at one big corporation and cares only for herself! I’m lucky if she even acknowledges my existence once a week!

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“That’s why I joined a gang. To make something with my life.”

“I understand what you're going through. My parents kinda suck too. they pay attention to me but they… don’t show much… affection.” A tear fell from his face. He wiped it away.

 

“It's getting late,

Noah picked his phone up and looked. “Shit! It is! Dad will have a cow if I'm not home by eight!” Noah said, grabbed his pants, and put them on.

“See you tomorrow,” Maria said, walking towards the sidewalk.

“Wait, you forgot your skirt!” Luke called out.

“Give it to somebody or whatever. My brother won't be home until midnight.” She sauntered off, wagging her padded butt.

“Hey, look at the horizon,” Wally said, pointing.

All eleven friends watched the red ball of gas lower into the horizon.

"What do we call ourselves?" Clarissa asked.

Luke thought for a moment then said, “The Diaps.”



February 21, 2022 21:24

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31 comments

Sharon Hancock
02:59 Mar 03, 2022

Oh I forgot I wanted to mention that I loved the characters, especially the addition of the females. I like how you brought out their individuality.

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Charlie Murphy
03:21 Mar 03, 2022

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Can you like it?

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Sharon Hancock
02:53 Mar 03, 2022

Hilarious! Very clever gang attire. “Eleven people… Well, that exceeded my expectations! Now that initiation is over, tell me about yourselves,” —this is my favorite line. You know I think there’s a line of diapers for marathon video gamers. But, I’m pretty sure they aren’t in a cool gang. So funny! Thanks for a laugh and a great read😻

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F.O. Morier
21:03 Mar 02, 2022

What an enjoyable and funny read! I was in need of a laugh! Thank you so much! Good work. No, on second thought: GREAT work!

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Charlie Murphy
21:33 Mar 02, 2022

Thank you! What was your favorite part?

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F.O. Morier
07:19 Mar 06, 2022

Ohhhhh I hate what’s your favorite questions…. But I’ll give it a try ( I think favorites are boring) I liked the overall setting in the/ of the story I drew me in from the first lines That to me is a good story! There was- not lightness but feel good vibe about it. Friendly and inviting Sorry I reply so late- Wi-Fi is weak here- probably due to frost I hope you’re satisfied with my answer I love it! Especially since it welcomed me in from the very first line

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Charlie Murphy
17:12 Mar 06, 2022

Thank you. I submitted another story if you want to read

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Tom Falconer
03:48 Mar 02, 2022

Great story! You had me giggling and intrigued as to what it was that they were wearing! Keep it up!

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Charlie Murphy
04:04 Mar 02, 2022

Thank you, What did u think about the characters?

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Tom Falconer
04:11 Mar 02, 2022

I thought they were a funny group trying to explore the world and willing to try new things. Enjoyed your characters.

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Charlie Murphy
21:51 Mar 03, 2022

Cool. I just submitted a new story.

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Chris Campbell
02:06 Mar 01, 2022

"We’re actually toddlers on the inside..." I like that line. It mirrors the paradoxical view of wanting to grow up but also the desire to stay young at the same time. Nice dialogue-driven story that highlights the absurdity of gang culture. Innocent as they seem now, I can envision them getting older and angrier, then turning into the characters from "A Clockwork Orange." Well done.

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Charlie Murphy
02:15 Mar 01, 2022

Thank you! What was your favorite part?

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Chris Campbell
05:40 Mar 01, 2022

The wiping clean between diaper changes. Made me cringe at the thought... :)

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Charlie Murphy
21:54 Mar 03, 2022

LOL I just submitted a new story if you want to read.

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Maggie Gibbs
22:05 Feb 26, 2022

This did make me laugh. It reminded me of the land of misfit toys but wannabe gang members instead. Funny. I would say you have the right idea with the story, but it was lacking a bit in description and really heavy on the dialogue. I think if you balanced description and dialogue by introducing the characters with backstories it would’ve made the story easier to follow. It definitely made me chuckle though!

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Charlie Murphy
22:33 Feb 26, 2022

What do you mean by balancing description and dialogue?

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Maggie Gibbs
22:39 Feb 26, 2022

Meaning having less of the back and forth dialogue and adding more narration in between or descriptions of the characters.

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Charlie Murphy
00:13 Feb 27, 2022

OK, I'll try that.

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21:23 Feb 26, 2022

I just finished two new stories on my profile. They haven't been edited yet but if you want to read them they are on my page. One is about a town of cowards called Yellow Town and the other is about a hero or villain that is afraid of their job called "Is Boris Badinov?"

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20:31 Feb 26, 2022

This is so funny! The Diaps are lucky to get eleven members and they all have special skills like Liam Neeson in Taken! haha I loved this story! I was rooting for them to get away with the looting and I know I shouldn't but I wanted them to stand tall.

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Charlie Murphy
20:43 Feb 26, 2022

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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Charlie Murphy
00:16 Mar 04, 2022

I submitted a new story today if you want to read it.

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Ivy Genesis
09:49 Feb 24, 2022

imaginative story! i would suggest paying attention to the formatting a bit because at times it got confusing who was saying what

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Brooks Porter
02:51 Feb 24, 2022

What a fun story… I appreciate your creativity Charlie. Keep challenging yourself to come up with new material! I know I can always expect something original when I see your name next to it.

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John K Adams
21:15 Feb 23, 2022

Funny set up, Charlie. I thought it made no sense. But then it hit me that it makes at least as much sense as any other gang. Great imagination and dialogue of kids trying to impress each other.

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Charlie Murphy
02:01 Feb 24, 2022

Thank you. Glad you like it! I'm revising it. Would u like to reread when I'm done?

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John K Adams
02:52 Feb 24, 2022

I'll try to. Let me know.

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Charlie Murphy
19:52 Mar 03, 2022

I finished revising. Sorry, i forgot to tell you.

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Kathleen Fine
12:04 Feb 23, 2022

😂 So funny and great dialogue!

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Charlie Murphy
16:33 Feb 23, 2022

Thank you! Can you like it

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