Tommy Goround

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Apr, 2022

Stories (8)

8 Stories

2843 karma pts

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“So help me, I'm Yours” by Tommy Goround

-1-Merryl Schenosi has a paper bag because she cares for the Earth. She’s on my porch in heels, a blue skirt that matches the blouse coat, a realtor’s badge near the place reserved for handkerchiefs. “It’s time to evacuate, Mr. Goround.” My realtor has come at 10:02 pm on a Sunday before the Dance of Cyclones, opening storm, 2023 because she cares. Someone gave her a copy of my car keys, or she must have broken into the dealership? Or we were lovers and I forgot.

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“The Swatter” by Tommy Goround

One would not normally use a fly swatter to remove a pizza from an oven. It doesn't matter that they are the same basic shape.I'm trying to explain this to Bedo who looks forlorn. His yellow plastic flyswatter is the only item he brought through customs besides the necessary change of clothing and one toothbrush. It's less than satisfying because most people get wonderful gifts when they host a child.My neighbor Henry points to his Hyundai in the yard."Come on Bedo." We walk right past...

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“For Liv: Wound Bear” by Tommy Goround

It's a gynecological fact that children who have just been born require a Womb Bear. This is a plush toy that has the sound of a beating heart within the plush that makes the child feel at home in their new bassinet.It's very much like taking the old water from a fish tank and mixing it with the new water that doesn't have any dookie. In this way the young fish or human baby will survive and feel loved.Well, I didn't want to pay the high price of the Womb Bear at Macy's. So I went across the street and ...

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“The Elective” by Tommy Goround

The parking lot is full, even on a Tuesday morning, 11:02 and the tourists are trying the new pub that used to be a row of fish cleaning stalls. The sand is piled up on the beach because the last storm brought the coast to its knees. Caterpillar tractors are trying to separate clean and sanitary sand from the prospect of barnacles and sea stones that might warrant an environmental inspection.One must run past the people with fishing rods, the Domo Steak House, ignore the cooks trading greeneries, the vendors of truffles,...

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“Lodi” by Tommy Goround

Trigger warning: this story has some elements that probably shouldn't be discussed in a church environment. There is definitely Gore if it is written correctly. Senior citizens with unnatural impulses. Corpses. There is also some sexuality about The Golden girls. It is a story about living and dying..##############There was a funny fellow in my residency at The John Mayo Clinic who had the terrible habit of misusing corpses. He was one of those recycling types of ...

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“Hit Me Again, Bob” by Tommy Goround

T/W: Aunt Jemima used as a seductive pancake maker. A song from 1893 by Henry Miller is quoted. Both of these are found in the free use policy of international satire law. There's also some religious language. Don't read this if you go to a non-denominational church. ########### You know when the judge gives you three to five … Hours  of community service

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“No more laundry.” by Tommy Goround

It's a mortuary fact that dead bodies should not be buried without a banana. Most of the dead people around our town drink too much coffee and spout their mouths out in public, then they just die, die, and the explosive parts of their personality gather energy.For example, Hilda Benderhole used to have the most terrible intergestion about the way my dog urinated all over her flowers. We all know that flowers need the dogs, especially in a drought. When Hilda died, her husband wouldn't even use those flowers for her grave...

70 comments 70 SHORTLIST ⭐️
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“The Benefit Society” by Tommy Goround

There's a graveyard in Old Home, California, that hasn't changed its prices since 1978. The locals know it. They are suspicious of strangers coming to their town with pickup trucks because everyone in the world would like a free plot of land just to bury their kin.One time Sally Greenbow told us that the military did not pay enough to bury her husband after Iraq. The commercials on the television say that the average funeral cost is the same price as a used Toyota. The same price as a 5-year-old car that will get you to ...

33 comments 33 SHORTLIST ⭐️
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Author bio

Your beautiful comments are saved in a file with final posts. °Lodi °Tokyo ° Seattle ° Monterey tpgoround@gmail.com

Shortlisted 2 stories ⭐️

Contest #169
No more laundry. – read story
Contest #169
The Benefit Society – read story