Paradox of Control

"Hailie!"

"Yes mother?"

"Were you counting the spoons, plates and glasses again?" mother asked angrily.

"Did I say numbers out loud?" I asked innocently.

"yes." She said confused

"Did I use the words spoons, plates and glasses?"

"Yes?" she said not sure where this was going

"Then I may have been counting spoons, plates and glasses 'again'" I said stressing on again knowing the effect it would have on her.

"What? How dare you?" She asked appalled.

"Oh mother, if I would have been in the mood of daring then I would have been sleeping in my room instead of listening to you go on and on about emeralds, pearls and what not. Honestly mother can you even try to spend a day without talking or flaunting your precious gems?"

I heard a chuckle from my side. Of course my dear brother finds this amusing.

"Sebastian! Do something" shrieked mother.

"Hallie apologize to your mother"

"For telling the truth Sebastian? That is not how I raised you." Chastised Nana, though you can see the amusement clear in her eyes.

"No matter what I do, no one ever likes me in this family ever-"cried mother without any tears.

'Note to self: I got to try that.'

"Enough!" Dad shouted

He looked at everyone in the eye, making sure he had everyone's attention, when his eyes landed on me he gave me a pleading look, looking at my bored expression.

"Say sorry to mother"

"Sorry to mother" I said and left the dining room, to spare my poor ears of mothers shrill voice. I'd rather my ears don't bleed, thank you very much.

And obviously my brother felt the need to follow me out as I went for a late night run. That idiot!

I looked back at him, he just smiled.

'Not good.'

"You really got mother worked up today" he said. I just snorted rounding the corner.

'Small talk? So not good!'

"What do you want Hade" I asked him halting.

"Can’t I just have chat with my little sister?"

"Sure if you want to chat with your little sister, go chat with a mirror" I said and continued running.

"And this is why I like our little chats" he said chuckling and running beside me.

I just rolled my eyes and picked up my pace hoping to lose him. But then he suddenly appeared in front of me. I ignored him and ran again faster, when I suddenly saw him about few yards away from me sitting on a rock and waiting for me.

Curse him and his stupid ability. Well his ability wasn’t stupid he was. His ability was just cool. I would swap his ability for mine in a beat, but I would die before I ever accept it in front of him.

He could teleport wherever and whenever. It was really cool. And the best part of it was that he could control it unlike mine. I had the ability to move objects with my mind. Trust me it isn’t as fun as it sounds. Telekinesis used brain power that left me in pain all the time.

Our biological mom had this brilliant idea to participate in some shady experiment for a little extra cash. Of course she hadn’t known it was illegal until it came out in the paper few months later that few lunatics who called themselves scientist of the future were running illegal experiments on humans.

She swore to everyone whoever asked her that they just gave her an injection one day and she was fine. My grandparents had her tested in a hospital and it was concluded that she was normal. She married our father few years later only to die during our birth well mostly my birth. No one thought it was unusual as although not frequent but mothers did die during child birth.

Everything was normal until our 3^rd birthday,  after the birthday party we slept in our room only to find Hade asleep on our porch instead of his bed in the morning. This kept happening every night. Father had initially thought that he was sleep walking, until one night just few weeks later he heard me screaming. When he entered the room he saw all the furniture in our room, including Hade’s bed and mine with me in it levitate. Then suddenly in front of his eye Hade just vanished. He was found later in our neighbours yard crying. Very loudly may I add.

Few months later father shifted to my mother’s town where she had the perfect idea to be experimented on. Here he met my mother’s best friend who is a shrink, my shrink to be exact. She was the one who found out that my abilities were connected to my emotions specifically rage. And I am very short tempered. I am more like a short fuse or a ticking time bomb if you will. Because I am always angry. Go figure!

I sighed. And ran up to him. Might as well get this over with.

“Why do you look like someone stole your pet opossum” I asked looking at him.

“I don’t have a pet opossum” He said confused.

“Exactly!”

“I am just – “

“Worried. I know.” I said looking at him.

He looked at me with wide eyes. “Are you – “

“No I am not! I don’t need the twin connection to know you are worried about me. You love me.”

We had this connection between us we felt each other’s  emotion. But gradually as we grew up we had learned to control it.

“About that – umm – I was thinking – umm” He said scratching his neck.

“You were thinking? Really? I didn’t know you could do that” I said looking impressed.

“I hate you!” He said glaring.

“Now that we have finally discovered that you can think can I complete my run before mid-night?” I said and started running when he caught my wrist to full me back.

I jerked back with the onslaught of the sudden rush of so many emotions.

“What the hell Hade! Why aren’t you controlling your emotions. You have kept the connection open!” I shouted on him angrily.

“What else am I supposed to do? You won’t listen to me. What if something happened to you tonight. I know you are stubborn enough to go through with it. I don’t want you to go through it alone. I want to help. I could – I could”

“You could what Hade? You could what? Do you know how dangerous it is? You are scared that something might happen to me then you will feel this empty void? You will miss me? Did you think what would happen to me if accidently something happens to you because of me? What would I do? How am I supposed to cope up with the fact that I killed my brother? How can you be so selfish!”

“I am being selfish? Really? No matter what you say today you can’t change my mind.” Seeing clearly through my effort to change his mind.

“And I am the one who is stubborn? You little piece of poop!”

“Poop? Poop?” He blinked at me twice and then started laughing.

“Horse’s Eggs!” I mumbled slowly.

“What!” He laughed even more.

“Nothing you intolerable piece of bovine!”

“What is wrong with you! Did you visit the zoo today?”

“Horses and cows are not kept in a zoo you nasty tyrannosaurus”

Before he could answered someone coughed behind me to get our attention.

“As much as I want you both to continue this very matured conversation, I am afraid we have to get back. It’s just an hour till mid night.” Malia said looking at both of us seriously. She was my best friend daughter of my mother’s best friend also known as my shrink.

Before I could answer I felt something cold and slimy slide inside my shirt from behind.

“Son of a b-_

Malia coughed before I could curse that moron I called my brother for putting a fish inside my shirt when I wasn’t looking. Where did he even find it. I don’t really want to know.

“Broccoli” I finished.

“Did you – Did you just call me son of a broccoli?” He started laughing even harder. He almost sat on the ground. His face was turning purple from the lack of oxygen. He was laughing with so hard that there was not even any sound coming from him. His whole body shook with mirth.

“Is he even breathing?” Malia asked from beside me.

“I wish he isn’t!” I said taking out the fish to throw it at him. But before I could he vanished.

I scowled in the direction he was just now sitting and laughing at my expense.

Malia touched my arm to get my attention.

“You can do this. Let me make it very clear I don’t like it any more than he does, but I know how you feel and how much want to control it just to be able to have a normal life. I don’t like it but I will be with you all through it. And no, you cannot convince me otherwise.”

“You know how risky that is? I could hurt you or worse kill you.”

“I know. That means you will do everything to get through it. For Hade, for me for all of us.”

I stared at her blankly. What is wrong with people in my life? All of them are suicidal.

“Oh and before I forget. Anna insisted she would be there too.”

I groaned.

Anna is my step mother. My father married her few years back. Contradictory to the stereotypes she was fairly nice. Not that I had anyone else to compare her with, but she was bearable, and she loved my brother and I like her own in her weird kind of way. She had told us that she would not be having a child of her own because she knew we needed her. Even though I never told her directly but she was right. She was the closest thing to a mother and I loved her like one.

I usually irritated her but she knew it was all in fun. She and I were just very different. She was the most girlish person I knew. And her love for jewellery and make up was just ridiculous. I on the other hand refused to look like a love child of a pink Smurf and tinkerbell. All that shining jewellery was blinding.

We walked in silent towards my house. This happens every month like my period. I could always feel the day before it was supposed to happen. It’s like a vomit. Where instead of vomiting food, I vomit power. The power of my mind completely pushes out of me in waves of power. One could almost feel the power like a wave passing through. I usually tried everything to control it keep it with in.

But this time Malia’s mom had apparently discussed an hypothetical case study with her colleagues as what can be done to gain control over something like this. She couldn’t disclose about me in fear that people might take us away to experiment on. So when one rather loopy colleague just suggested the paradox of control she thought we could try.

It was rather simple. I had to lost control in order to gain control. Easier said than done. When I try to stay in control I break half the things in my room just imagine the damage when I let go control. Also the pain I go through after this too much. And this suicidal idiots insists on staying with me in the room.

I reached home to see, Malia’s parents and mine looking like someone killed their opossum. I don’t know what is this new found obsession with opossum of mine.

“So where’s Hade?” I asked them.

“He is already in the basement.” Mother answered looking at me.

Her eyes looked red from crying. She had no makeup on.

“Why don’t you have makeup on?”

“What?”

“You look ridiculous. We still have 15 minutes. Go put some makeup on”

She stared at me blankly.

She came to hug me. I stepped back.

“Just go put makeup on. Dad ask her to put makeup on right now!” I shouted.

They all stared at me like I was crazy. I just ran to the basement and closed the door behind me losing all control!

I felt the waves of my power leave through me. I had let go of my power. It felt good. Really good. But then I heard screaming from the corner of the basement. I felt a pain in my chest. It felt like someone was stabbing me continuously. I just knew that it wasn’t my pain. And I screamed louder and louder.