Indescribable Like or Love? Part 5

~Elle~

I wake up feeling warmer than I did before I fell asleep. I pat around trying to feel around for Ben. He’s not there. My eyes blink open in surprise…ugh I feel like crap.

Ben must have woke up earlier. I rub my stuffed up nose that I can barely smell out off, there is a huge mirror right in front of me and I look like a mess. Like, a mess. My hair is blown out of all proportions, my eyes have bags under them and my lips are cracked. Embarrassing.

I groan and pull myself out of bed taking myself to the bathroom. I grab a rubber band tying up my hair. I feel like I did something really embarrassing yesterd-

The memories flood back like a wave, slapping me in the face. “AHHHHH” I scream smacking my forehead against the window. What the heck is wrong with me… Asking him to say my name? Ugh I’m embarrassed to call myself me.

“Elle?” Ben’s voice calls out my name as he knocks on the bathroom door. “You okay?”

“I’m fine sorry, just um–testing out my voice” I say.

“Okay” he says and I hear him leave.

That's right, his parents want us to do that. Its just stupid and ridiculous that they still feel the need to try to control us.

I sigh and brush my teeth… I will not let them, no more. Enough of this. Enough with these wack traditions. Enough!

I place my brush back…washing my face so that I actually look like a human. I make my way out of the bathroom to find Ben standing there. Looking just perfect.

“Good morning” he says.

“Hi..” I respond back feeling myself turn hot. Ugh…I laid in his arms too. He stares at me for a minute.

He then pulls his hands on both my cheeks making me meet his eyes.

“W-what” I stammer in surprise. He pulls away.

“Just trying to make sure you're okay, I– Yesterday your okay right?” he asks with a worried expression. He’s worried about me..? My heart thumps harder, I seem to fall for him more and more.

“Oh! I’m fine!” I say with a smile.

“I’m just making sure. I don’t want you taking any of that on yourself, so please don’t” he says back.

“Same goes for you” I say and that brings a smile to his lips. He grabs my hand and pulls me to the kitchen. We pass the window and I see the layers of snow covering the streets.

“Since we are stuck at home…I was thinking maybe we could decorate this place, it is home for now.” I say squeezing his hand.

“Good idea, there’s actually construction paper in one of the drawers.” he says pulling a hand through his hair.

“Why would there be construction paper here?” I ask him, curiously. He pulls another hand through his hair letting go of my hand.

“When I heard we were going on this trip…I guess I wanted to impress you or something and I heard you loved to draw so I guess I just bought it. In case we were bored or something like that” he says messing with the pan on the stove.

“You’re always thinking about me…” I say fiddling with my fingers. I’ll get him something, soon. When I figure out what he likes. When did he even get all these facts about me from.

“Always.” he says with a side grin. Then he starts cutting up vegetables. I stand there shocked…ugh I’m gonna die young from all this heart pounding.

“Do– do you you like to play video games?” I ask him as I pull at the drawers he told me it was in. He definitely likes video games, I know he does!

“No, not really? They’re boring.” he says.

“What! How do you not like video games! I bet you haven’t even played” I turn in shock.

“Oh I definitely have, they’re too easy. Every game has a pattern and eventually I figure it out.” he says as his long eyelashes bling as he blinks.

“No!” I say refusing to believe it.

“What? Are you mad cause I’m better than you at playing” he says with a teasing grin.

“No! We haven’t even played before, I would beat you in one go!!” I yell. I take pride in my skills.

“Yeah alrighttt! Don’t get butt hurt when I beat you.” he responds back.

“You won’t beat me trust me” I say sitting on the couch folding my legs as I cut the paper with the design scissors. I smell the air as I hear the food sizzle in the pot.

“That smells soooo good. I’m sorry I know I said I would cook…” I say as I feel the rough beautiful paper.

“It's okay, you’re sick. And besides I’d do this any day.” he says. I might as well use this chance to get to know him better

“How did you learn how to cook so well?” I ask as I lay down each fragment of different colors in order. I like when it is organized, it makes me feel really happy.

“Well…I guess I was just so used to watching my mom do it, and soon when my parents were …busy? I just tried my best to cook on my own and I finally got the hang of it.”

“That's nice. Can you teach me how to cook sometimes.” I ask him..as I draw a leaf.

“We are going to be living together for the rest of our lives, there’s no way I couldn’t” he says. He then visibly stops and immediately turns around.

I feel my chest beat faster. ‘Our whole lives’ I didn’t even think of that. I used to think we would at sometime along the line divorce or something– that was back when I didn’t know he felt the same way. Squee! Stop smiling Elle. STOP IT!

“Elle, here..” he says handing me my plate.

“Oh right thank you” I say feeling embarrassed, its strange having him serve me but I also kind of like it. Scrambled eggs, bacon, and warm chocolate milk. Its times like these where I am so happy I got married to Ben. He’s so sweet, I need to do more, I want him to be happy he's married me..

“I’ve been meaning to ask…” Ben says slowly.

“Yes” I ask with curiosity.

“That girl– the one at the store. Did something happen between you too?” he asks he stares at me then looks away. “If you don’t want to tell me it’s fine. Just curious” he mumbles.

Should I tell him that she took his picture?? I wonder why he’s curious in the first place.

“Well, yes actually. Um…she well– she was or is interested in you. Actually she liked you at first glance. And she told me, cause she tells me everything” I mumble the last part. “And well, she took a picture of you.”

“Oh?” Ben says raising his eyebrow. He doesn’t seem mad just surprised.

“Yeah. And I guess I got mad that she was talking about you in that way. Cause you’re my–” I stop…glance at him a small smile comes to his lips..I look away really quickly.

“Anyways! I deleted the picture. And I guess she hates me now.” I say with a shrug feeling my cheeks flush. A hand touches my head, his hand.

“Thanks for looking out for looking out for me. I appreciate it” he says, smiling in my face. Gosh! Not fair.

“A-anytime” I stutter.

We eat in mostly silence and then we would bring up something funny from our engagement days and we would laugh. Turns out I misunderstood most of his actions and he misunderstood most of mine. His food is delicious, as always. I still feel really sick, but not so sick where I like faint from exhaustion.

“How are you feeling?” he asks me reaching a hand out but I grab his hand before it touches my forehead.

“FINE! Lets decorate!” I say with a bright smile.

“With what? You barely did anything” he says. I smack his arm.

“Yes I did! I did the orange leaves!” I say back.

“Yeah that’s the only thing you did” he says with a smirk grabbing the scissors from my hand his hand lingering on mine for a minute.

“Well good luck with those scissors, my hands are so sore” I say getting up as I take his plate and mine. I stand to quickly, and you know how that goes when you’re sick.

“Woah” Ben says steadying me.

“I’m sorry” I say pulling away putting my hand on his chest.. He holds both my wrist wit one hand and puts a hand on my forehead

“You’re burning up again” he says.

“Yeah this will probably go on for a week or so…its goes up and down and up and down. It's fine.” I say.

“No, its not” he says letting go. “We have to get you some medicine.” he goes to the coat rack. I look outside the window the snow is coming down again.

“No!” I say grabbing his arm. “Its snowing again, its dangerous.”

“So is you’re cold, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” he says trying to drag away but not wanting to hurt me at the same time.

“No” I say running in front of him and wrapping arms around his waist. He’s strong but I am too. He grabs my shoulders gently trying to pull me off.

“I don’t want you putting yourself in danger for me. So don’t! I’m fine, there is no need for you to go out in a starting storm. What if you catch a cold? What if you don’t come back? What if you fall off a cliff?”

“That's not gonna happen, Elle” he says eventually wrapping his arms around me.

“I don’t care just don’t go. I’m fine. I promise. Ben please” I say desperate. Just the thought of him out there scares me. What if I lose him?

He is quiet for a second…then he speaks. “Okay, I won’t go... for now.”

“Really!?” I say letting go, he puts his coat back on the rack.

“Yeah, but you have to promise me you will rest, like honestly rest. Wear warm clothes, and socks too. And eat only warm things, no eating pop tarts, or I’ll quit buying you candy!”

“Okay okay!” I whine. I turn around to go get my socks but then I feel like he'll immediately dash out the door so I grab his hand and take him with me. He sighs with a laugh.

I pull on my socks and cover myself so that I am nice and snuggly. Then we go back on the couch and I lean on him locking my fingers..

“I told you I’m not going anywhere right now.” he says his voice deep and low, almost as in a whisper.

“I know” I say as I turn on the tv. We sit there and watch Hallmark, Thanks giving movies and Christmas. It feels so good, so nice being next to him. I am already feeling the Christmas spirit and its FALL! He releases his hand from mine and lets me lean in fully wrapping his arms around me.

“Warmer?” he asks me softly.

“Yeah” I mutter back actually I am burning up at the moment. My eyes linger on the paper we both cut out of fall leaves and things that represent the season. I breathe out through my nose…my eyes slowly closing as I grip Ben’s shirt.

…

I wake up…my eyes fall on the table.

The table is empty, decorations gone.

And so is Ben.