80 comments

Adventure Drama

It was a cold rainy day in April. I went out for a walk. My neighborhood wasn’t the best. There was a lot of gun violence. Long story short I got caught in the crossfire. I was just barely shot on the elbow. It wasn’t bad, some other guy died. That’s not how I told the story though.

On my walk, I came to a street where a man was holding a gun. He was aiming it at a little girl with a pink dress and bright bows in her hair. 

On the other side of the street, an older man came walking over as did I. The older man jumped in front of the girl as soon as he knew what was going on. I ran over too. The man went crazy and shot everyone he saw. The girl was safe because of the older man. I had a bloody elbow but the older man had died. The girl ran back to her house, probably scarred for life.

The man who had caused the death ran away before the police arrived. I dragged the older man into my house, so no one would think I committed the crime. Later I buried him on my grassy lawn. On a small stone, I wrote: ‘The savior’ in small letters with a stick.

I went back to the spot where it had all gone down and cleaned up the blood. While I was there, police cars and news stations pulled up next to me. 

They all got out of their cars and walked over to me. “We just heard from a person watching the scene that a man jumped in front of a little girl to save her from a gun! Is that you?” One of the reporters asked. 

I didn’t know what to say. I opened my mouth but didn’t answer. “Oh stop being humble! You're a hero! What’s your name,” A lady said shoving a microphone in my face. 

“Um..,” I hesitated. “My name is Nate. Nate Harrington.”

“Nate Harrington the hero!” Someone shouted from the back. They all started clapping. I had never felt so good in my life. Even if I didn’t do what they thought I did. They asked to see my wounds so I showed them my elbow. They all told me how brave I was to do something like that. I thanked them and started walking home.

They started following me so I turned back. “Why are you following me?” I asked patiently. 

“Well, you did something amazing. We are supposed to interview you.” A tall man in a suit said nicely.

“Here why don’t you come with us back to the station and we can get you fed and all fixed up. Then we can interview you!” Another tall man said. He looked identical to the first one. 

I finally agreed. I didn't have much to go home to, so maybe they could change my life. Help me for the better. It wasn’t that big of a lie. Plus the man died, someone had to live out his legacy. 

I got into a police car and one of the policemen asked me what the man who shot me looked like. I tried to describe him. I told them he had a dark black coat on, sunglasses, and a brown hat. He sorta looked like an old detective.

The policemen were writing down everything I said. I tried to be as specific as I possibly could. The police were intimidating. They never stopped looking me in the eyes. I tried to stare too, but my eyes stung. 

We finally arrived at the station. Two short women escorted me into the building. They showed me to the changing room where I found a new outfit and a shower. They told me to take all the time I needed. 

I took a long shower and cleaned my wound. I had never had a hot shower before. It felt so good! I turned off the shower and on the outfit. It was a comfortable green colored shirt and blue shorts. 

Once I walked out all eyes were on me. One man grabbed my arm and pulled me into the room where they would be recording me. 

“Okay if you will just follow me into this room, we will ask you some questions and then you can get back home.”

I sat in a comfortable chair next to a lady with blond hair who appeared to be the host of the show. She waved at me and smiled.

Some guy behind the cameras gave us a thumbs-up, and then we started. “Hi I’m Rebecca Long and today we have a man who saved a little girl's life!” This is Nate Harrington!” I waved at the camera feeling anxious. 

“So Nate, what really happened out there? We want to hear the details!” She said impatiently. I nodded at her and started to speak.

“Well, Rebecca I decided to go out for a walk. It seemed like a great day for it. My neighborhood has had it’s not so good times, including a lot of shootings. I saw a man pointing a gun at a small girl and I acted. I stood in front of her and the man fired. She ran away crying and thankfully I wasn’t hurt badly.”

“Wow that is a truly devastating story! Thank goodness you were there!” We talked like this for what felt like hours. She would ask me questions and I would try my best to answer them. 

When the show finished a friendly police officer offered me a ride home. I didn’t have a car with me so I had to. Once I was home I sat on my couch and turned on the television. It was me! They were showing my report. 

I heard a knock on my door so I went to answer it. I opened it to see my neighbor standing in front of me with her jaw dropped. “I was just looking on my phone and there you were! Nate, you're famous!”


August 29, 2020 18:47

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80 comments

C.j 🤍
21:48 Aug 30, 2020

Quick question,can you enter a story that is not related to the set of contests? If so how?

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Evelyn ⭐️
16:35 Aug 31, 2020

No I don't think so. You could always email the Reedsy team though if you want to find out more.

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15:29 Aug 30, 2020

This was really nice Evelyn!!!!😁💃 I especially love the part of him burying the man and encrypting 'the savior' on his grave. That was intriguing. I only have a few things to point out: 1. I think your story was somewhat fast paced. It went on really quick. I think you should've dragged us a little bit more. You know,more descriptions, more narration, telling us every single detail of what, how, why 2. I also think your story felt a little less 'complete' . You didn't highlight everything Nate thought or felt. The ending was quite unfa...

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Evelyn ⭐️
16:33 Aug 31, 2020

Thank you so much for the feedback and nice comment! I may do a part two, because I have a lot more to say about Nate. But There would have to be a compatible prompt first! I would love to check it out!

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16:45 Aug 31, 2020

That is wonderful!!!! Don't forget to notify me when it comes out! And thanks!😁

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C.j 🤍
15:18 Aug 30, 2020

Awesome story I LOVED It !!!

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C.j 🤍
15:18 Aug 30, 2020

Awesome story I LOVED It !!!

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Evelyn ⭐️
16:16 Aug 31, 2020

Thank you so much!

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Jonathan Blaauw
07:35 Aug 30, 2020

This is an enjoyable little tale – short and sweet. Nothing superfluous here. Good job! You take the reader on a clear, concise journey through the shooting incident and the after-effects, and you manage to convey Nate’s sense of bewilderment very well. Just one suggestion, for future stories. Adding in some conflict always helps. You’ve got the elements here. Nate, for example, in hiding the body, has effectively committed a crime. A serious one. Shouldn’t he be a bit concerned that someone’s going to find out? And wouldn’t his dishonesty...

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:32 Aug 30, 2020

Thanks for the feedback and reading!

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B. W.
23:00 Aug 29, 2020

This story is really good and you did a great job with it. I think this may be the second story that i've read from you or the first one, either way i think i'll go back and look at the rest of your stories as well after this soon. It's still really great and i don't know what to really say besides you should still continue to make more stories. i know it might be hard with school but you should still try to make stories whenever you have the time after school or over the weekend. so guess what your going to get now for this story? your gonn...

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:28 Aug 30, 2020

Thank you so much for reading! I will continue to write when school starts, but maybe not as much! Whenever I get a free moment I will check out your stories!

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B. W.
14:30 Aug 30, 2020

No problem ^^ school for me has already started a while ago but i've still been able to make a few stories, when does your's start? and thanks i get that you'll be busy and thats fine

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:33 Aug 30, 2020

I start on September 9th, but I have Orientation on the 8th.

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B. W.
14:36 Aug 30, 2020

I started on August 13th and i'm kinda jealous that for some reason everyone else doesn't start school til somewhere in sept.

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:39 Aug 30, 2020

That's way earlier than us! When do you end?

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Avery G.
19:41 Aug 29, 2020

Wow! This was a super creative take on this prompt! I loved it! Great job!

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:30 Aug 29, 2020

Thanks Avery! Also I need to thank you for always being the first to comment on my stories! Thank you so much!

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Avery G.
01:53 Aug 30, 2020

You're welcome! I always love your stories!

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16:33 May 20, 2021

'..a lady with blond hair..' I'm sorry to criticize you but, if it is a lady it is spelled blonde, if it is a male it is spelled blond. Other than that, I loved the story!

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Amanda Kelly
14:26 Dec 11, 2020

I really liked this story! Well done, Evelyn!

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The Cold Ice
10:08 Oct 06, 2020

Hey Evelyn I had upvoted .I had read your bio. It is so bad.Anyone is downvoting me also.Just a request You can upvote me. Thanks?Keep writing.

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