Trapped

Submitted into Contest #94 in response to: Start your story with someone accepting a dare.... view prompt

13 comments

Fantasy Thriller Teens & Young Adult


Tristen was trapped with the person he believed hated him the most. It was her fault they were stuck there. It was her fault they were about to die. Had she not been stuck in the same trap as he was, he would have died thinking she planned it all. As to how they got trapped or how they would escape was impossible for either to deduce. What Tristen did know was that Kendra was to blame, her and her stupid Dare.

All the magical students were on a field trip for the purpose of integrating the factions in the school. As Professor Qweill had said, “We are all connected in a special way; Vampires, Warewolves, Witches and other magical creatures. It's one magic and that's what connects us. I hope you all can see that within these few days. A war might break out soon and we cannot win if we are divided among ourselves.”

The students were broken into factionless groups of eight. Tonight’s activity was tagged ‘Bonding’, each group were allowed to decide their bonding activity. Group 49 were gathered outside few meters from the hostel around a small bonfire. 

“Truth or Dare Kendra?” asked the pink haired Caucasian, Ellie, was her name.

“Truth.”

“Have you really been to Atlantis?”

“Yes. Who cares if they are mermaids and somewhat pretty and happen to live in an enchanted magical city? I mean seriously. The mummies I met in Egypt were honestly more down to earth.”

“Wow! You’re so amazing,” Ellie said. “May I please come with you on your next adventure?”

“No! You may not. It’s a family thing. Going with anyone else would be school all over again, where I’m forced to interact with the rest of you.” Her words dissolved the excitement off the eager faces and spread detest on the indifferent ones. “It’s my turn.” Kendra spined the bottle and with the help of a little magic, the mouth landed ever so perfectly on the coffee headed boy. Kendra could see her reflection in his now dull green eyes, causing a smirk that gave definition to her high cheekbones.

“Truth or Dare Tristen?”

“Truth.”

“Why truth? There’s nothing juicy you could spill. You're the most pathetic—‘’

“You can’t make him change his answer,” defended Rylie. Kendra guessed that she had a one-sided crush on Tristen, the reason for which she couldn’t comprehend, but she concluded the two losers were perfect for each other.

“I don’t remember asking you a question.” Her attention reverted to her reflection. “Are you scared?”

Tristen folded his hands. “I’m not scared.”

“You know what you have to do.”

Rylee whispered, “Don’t listen to her.”

“Dare.”

Without a second thought she recounted, “I dare you to go into the forest for ten minutes and don’t come running before that.”

“No way. I won’t allow it.”

“As always ruin the fun, Rylee.”

A fleshy boy spoke up; he fidgeted with the bracelet on his left hand. For a big bad wolf he had as much confidence as had a little pig. “The professor did say ‘stick together’.”

 “Exactly. You can’t send him into the forest; the barrier spell doesn’t extend there. What if something happens to him?”

“Rylee, what can happen to him? He’s the chosen one.” Kendra said, “What do you say Tristen? You scared? If you are, listen to your grandma over here and don’t go. We don’t want something happening to you, now do we?”

“I’m not a grandma . . . Don’t listen. She’s playing mind games.”

“Tristen, make your choice.”

“I’ll go.” Tristen got on his feet.

 “Great. Have fun.” Kendra’s face beamed of excitement. “Remember, heroes don’t cheat. Ten minutes.”


As time went by, Rylee was anxious about her friend, Kendra was waiting for Tristen to find the spirits she had conjured, he wouldn’t be able to vanquish them and he’ll come pleading for her help. Fate had other plans, thirty minutes had passed and the group had walked to the edge of the forest. The forest spread over ten miles and they suddenly realized the difficulty of finding him. A scream echoed from the forest that made every body freeze in their spot. It was not the shriek for help Kendra expected; It was quick and faded into the silent night. Immediately, Rylee ran in without thinking. Kendra sent Zoey to get help, while the others ran to catch up with the Rylee. With the help of Oliver, the big bad wolf, they traced his scent. Midway a fight ensued between Rylee and Kendra because Kendra insisted that there were going the wrong way, the outcome of which was her deserting the group to find him alone. She kept following whatever that was leading her, ‘her guts’ she had called it; Until an ancient symbol she didn’t recognize appeared on the ground underneath her feet, that was the last thing before another quick scream resonated through the forest.

<>

“Don’t.” A baby flame from his index finger strikes the wall and immediately bounces off with a greater intensity before he captures in its palm. “Or that would happen.”

“It’s magic proof." Kendra said in bewilderment. "How are we going to escape without magic."

“Breaking free will cause this place to cave in.” 

“We’re stuck here. What is this place?” Kendra said, “Leukos Illuminus.”

A small blue ball of light hovered over their heads. The eight-by-eight-feet rock cube housed them. Metamorphic rocks fused together to form the walls. “What’s all this symbols?” she asked as her fingers traced over the rocks that had soon become a cage.

 Symbols, even another language had been inscribed into the Chlorite. “It’s nothing like have seen. If I can’t identify them I doubt anyone else can. No. I’m not being egoistic. I’ve been taught by masters in magical Philology, Paleontology and the likes. I can’t place this symbol to any magical tribe. It’s remarkable! A master greater than my masters might be able to decode it.”

Tristen rubbed his neck. “This is some sort of magical trap—created by who and to catch what?’’

They agreed to stop talking in order to conserve the little oxygen they had left. Both thought about their death and their loved ones as they sat down opposite eachother. Tristen’s anxiety momentarily snapped him out of the thought of the effects of his death on the war. He glanced over to Kendra who was no longer in the lotus position but in an uncomfortable tuck position and her head laid on her knees.

“What’s wrong?” he muttered.

“Based on our mass and the volume of this cage. We only have few more hours. And, my head hurts and that's a sign” Kendra massaged her temples as she slowly made eye contact. “I had an idea; you might not like it. If you were to say die, I’d have longer time, by then hopefully someone will find us.”

Tristen paced. “Us? I’d already be dead. And what if they don’t?”

“I don’t know, but at this rate we’ll be gone soon. Stop being so selfish, I’m only stuck here because of you.”

“I’m selfish. You are the reason I’m stuck here.”

“Me? I didn’t ask you to fall into a trap or wander this far into the forest.”

“I should have listened to Rylee.”

She staggered to her feet using the rocks as support. “And who stopped you?”

“If you think you can kill me, you—”

“I what? Devada.” She slowly contracted the fingers of her right hand, slowly closing the space between them. In effect, Tristen struggled to breathe, his face grew pale, he tried to reach out to her before he fell to his knees, gasping to breathe. Her fingers relaxed and in the first time in few seconds air rushed into his lungs. “Fighting with you will do nothing but waste what little oxygen we have left.”


Tristen pulled himself towards the wall. Although Kendra’s light ball was growing weak, she could see his red puffed face and the beating vein on his left side of his neck.

“Why didn’t you kill me then? You’ll have all the air to yourself.”

“I merely suggested that if you were to die, I’d have more air. The gentleman thing for you to do was to Kill YOURSELF.”

He closed his eyes as he desperately tried to steady his breathe. “If I am going to sacrifice myself for someone, its surely not you.”

“ I can’t kill you. I’ve never killed anyone before—Why did I say that?”

He slowly opened his eyes. “You haven’t?”

“I haven’t. Maybe I’ve wounded some people during battle, but not kill. I don’t know if I will be able to; if and when the war starts and honestly that scares me.”

“The weight of being the chosen one means that when it comes to it, I’ll have to kill people to save people and people are going to die to save me. Basically, there’s no escaping deaths if a war starts. I’m scared too.”

“I don’t care about how you feel and it only makes sense you’re scared, You’re a loser. A lucky one but a loser nonetheless."

He smirked. “No one should ever come to you for comfort. I already knew that why did I tell you anyways.” He shrugged, “Maybe it’s because we are about to die, maybe we feel vulnerable and open.”

“I’m never vulnerable. Maybe it has something to do this place,” she said looking at the imprinted symbols.

It became quiet again. The light ball had gotten dimmer. The prey’s limbs had given in and they were both lying on the cold floor. She bit her lip as the beats in her head got louder while He balled his fists as his chests had gotten tight and had begun to ache. They had lost hope on being rescued. They were closer to death at each passing minute. The deafening silence drowned them in the nightmares of their thoughts and regrets.

‘'Okay . . . my last few minutes cannot be silence,” she mumbled as she struggled to sit up.

“Called it . . . Knew you couldn’t shut up.”

“You’re mistaking me for Rylee.”

“You might not have killed someone with your sword but thousands surely must have died by your sharp tongue.”

“I would say something . . . but you are not worth my last words.”

 The words left his mouth before he could take them back. “Why do you hate me so much?” If they were going to die, he should find out why he became her enemy without offending her.

She turned towards him. “How dare you . . . associate me . . . with the H word,”

“Hate?”

“Magic is pure but it’s easily corrupted. We are thought in my Coven that Magic has no room for the H-word. It’s easy to corrupt one’s soul with it. Vengeance. Murder . . .” A slight wave of dizziness made her regret not replying with yes. “Besides who said I hate you?”

“You can’t . . . possibly say you don’t”

She took in a deep breath and prepared mentally for the resulting consequence to her lungs. “I admit you’ve been a pain in my ass and I’ve been looking for a way to prove they made a mistake by thinking you’re some saviour. I admit that I want you to feel as much pain as your presence makes me feel. I admit that I wish you never came here or stumbled on that stupid box.”

Tristen heard her although she said it fast.

“Why did I say that? It’s not true,” she whispered. “oh but it is. I don’t understand why your mother died saving you, you should have died not her.” She gasped and covered her mouth with her hands.

Tristen had not expected her to cross that line, but she was right. The memory of his mother’s death flushed through his mind and hovered around him, mocking him. He shut his eyes as tight as he could trying to fight it. “Why?” he whimpered.

“Why did you hate me so much? Answer me!”

“Stop saying hate.”

“Why does my very existence bother you?”

“Because . . . you’re the chosen one.”

“Figures, you’re jealous? Your ego can’t take it."

“No, I can take it. You come out of nowhere . . .you open some stupid box and now . . . you’re some hero. You have . . . no idea . . . what you’re doing . . . Its all-dumb luck. You . . . don’t . . . deserve it.” She dragged herself toward the wall. Her head rested on the wall and she tried to steady her breath. She looked towards him but the light was dull she could only see hurt in his eyes. “You’re nothing. Half . . . of the time . . . you . . . have no idea what you’re doing, . . . the other half . . . where . . .it seems like you do, . . . it’s basically just dumb luck. . . I . . . was going to be given that honour.”

Tristen had never someone whose happiness came from his pain. “OH! You think . . . you’re better than me.”

“I am.”

“You hate me so much . . . because of my position? You always will be an egoistic narcissist. You . . . deserve the lead . . . the lead Villain; ‘that stupid box’ was right . . . and at the end of the day, it chose me.”

“I come . . . from a long dynasty of powerful witches—"

“We know. . . You don’t have to remind us every time.”

“When my mother died, my dad travelled; I was raised by my aunt, grand aunt and they never . . . made me forget . . . I can’t forget. How . . . can I? I’m reminded every day. I have been training since I was a child –” She peeled herself off the wall and laid on the cold floor. A tear fell from her left eye. She closed her eyes shut in a successful attempt to stop the tears. “if anyone . . . deserved . . . . to be 'the Chosen one' . . . it should be me. I never had . . . a normal childhood . . . didn’t get to play or have friends . . . I only trained. When the time finally came . . . what did I get? Nothing. . . No one said, ‘Good job’ . . . ‘Your mother would be proud’ . . . ‘I’m proud of you’ . . . ‘Your hardwork was worth it’ .”

Her voice had cracked while she said the last line, Tristen couldn’t tell if she was crying. He tried to narrow his eyes to see but all he could make out was her form in the dark.


“However, you came and . . . every little triumph of yours was praised and adorned . . . What . . . about me? If you take away my looks . . . family money . . . name and power . . . I would still be better than you. Tell me please . . . isn’t that what we’re taught ‘Work hard. . . ‘If you work hard, your dreams will come true’. ” She chuckled but it only made her pain worse. “I did . . . but dumb luck beat me. I guess . . . all . . . you really need . . . is dumb luck.


Only the sounds of their struggling breath could be heard. Tristen crawled over and laid beside her. “What about me? I only found out . . . about the magic world. . . and the powers . . . I . . . apparently had all my life . . . Realizing that I had been lied to . . . many times, by my mother. . . Yes, you’re right . . . I. Am. Nothing . . . All my life I never took anything seriously . . . I took life by chance—” Black dots, a darker shade than that off the trap, stained his vision. He blinked repeatedly but to know avail. “I lost the most important person to me . . .do you know how it feels like . . . knowing you were unable to save them. Do you know the guilt I feel because I think — I killed her. . . The burden I feel knowing that I’m not good enough to be some hero and I’m going to be responsible for the deaths of innocent people. . . I wanted to run away, but my mother would have died for nothing and so will thousands. . . I'm working hard . . . Prof. Scrudules has been helping me . . . I’m working harder than ever before. . . The happy face is nothing but a mask . . . shielding the guilt and anxiety.” He smirked and flinched. “You see dumb luck is not everything.”


After the whole confession, they understood a little bit and were more open to the idea of death. Neither knew what to say after that. By then, every breath was painful and more difficult than the last.


"Shouldn't have mentioned . . . Your mother."


"Is that . . . apology?"


"It's . . . all . . . you get."


They smiled and for a while they forgot their discomfort. Their eyelids itched to fall asleep.

She struggled to concentrate on her dying light ball. “Ti-tir . . . ed.”

“Ver . . .ird,” he repeated.

“I’m . . . slee.”

“No. Dot . . . eep.”

The light bulb light finally goes out.


<>


“You’re awake.”

“Professor?” he asked as his eyes began absorbing the details of the room before he recognized it has the school’s infirmary. “Where’s Kendra?”

“She’s fine. She woke up earlier.”

“I- we were trapped.”

“I know Kendra already told me everything."

“How did you find us?”

“The wolves traced you, but we only found Kendra’s bracelet. We tried digging but nothing. There was no sense of magic around that place.”

“Where did you find us then?

“By the river. It seemed that someone or something dragged you out of the water. Do you remember anything else?’'

“Nothing after the room went dark. How did we get to the river?”

"Rest and I'll investigate what happened.”

‘‘By the way, Kendra asked me to give you this note.” Professor handed him the folded paper. “I’ll tell your friends that you’re awake and they can come see you now.”

The professor walked out and Tristen unwrapped it.

Your mother did a very brave thing. You should be proud.

About the guilt I’m not sure what to say, I guess sometimes we feel guilty for things we are not to be blamed for. You are not to be blamed. You didn’t kill her. If your life hovers around guilt, then it means you are stuck in the past, news flash we’re in the present. Act like it.

P.S I don’t hate you but it doesn’t mean were friends.

If you tell anyone about what happened when we were trapped, I’ll bury you alive myself.

I’m better than you, Kendra.



He smiled as the paper dissolved into a puff of smoke.

May 21, 2021 23:43

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13 comments

Tom .
07:42 May 23, 2021

It is very well written and has good flow. You have a good style. This does feel heavily influenced by Harry Potter and you use a lot of Deus Ex Machina to advance the plot. This makes a good fast paced story, it is considered better though to lay the tools out for advancing your plot to the reader earlier that way they appreciate the structure and development. An example of a way to do this would to be have your scent tracking wolf arrive in the opening scene as a background character and not just before you need a scent tracking wolf. I a...

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An Echo
16:34 May 24, 2021

Thank you very much for taking out time to read and for your feedback. Harry Potter? As I wrote it reminded me of 'Percy Jackson' and I tried to deviate from that; maybe because I hadn't decided on the existent creatures or non existent ones. So I went silent on that and focused on the plot. I see the point in all you said. On thing I wasn't sure of was when they were about to run out of air was it okay or correct to use " . . . " I am confused on the "Universal Y A voice" Thank you. It means a lot as I struggle with self doubt and te...

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Tom .
18:45 May 24, 2021

Self doubt is very normal. You have a lot of talent. There was a positive in what I said aswell as negative.

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Marianna Mills
01:14 May 26, 2021

What can I say? I would not be surprised if you won on this wonderful piece of fantasy and take on the prompt, you have some decent talent here, i wish I could write that well, cheers.

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An Echo
08:13 May 26, 2021

Thank you for the comment. I see people's writing and I keep thinking how they do it. Especially descriptions, I would never have thought of describing it that way. Win? I pray so. I'm just happy that there's improvement in my work, although I'm not satisfied with my craft here. P.s: You also write well.

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An Echo
17:28 May 29, 2021

I didn't win 😂😂 but oh well, but I'll keep telling stories.

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Marianna Mills
17:38 May 29, 2021

I hear you - but it keeps me striving to work harder and read the winning stories and other stories too, you never know. I just submitted a new one, I forgot to put it under romance but its okay. It's a romance

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An Echo
18:30 May 29, 2021

You can still edit it and change to romance. Yeah work harder. I read the winning stories too. I might be wrong but I've come to notice that the winning stories have wonderful writing, beautiful voice, the setting, beautiful imagery and descriptions. I'm working on a new prompt and I was tempted to scrap majority of the dialogue for imagery inorder to fit 'a particular style.' But I'm not just writing to win but to improve and I won't really improve if I'm trying to write like someone else. So . . .

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Marianna Mills
20:26 May 29, 2021

Not wrong at all, and they all have an originality to them I noticed, I think a good piece of writing has to "stand out" above the others, imagine being a judge and having to read a thousand submissions a week and decide which one is the best? Yes, always room for improvement and to strive better, getting our voices in their is important. Encouragement - to me it's fun, keeps me busy during lockdowns, sigh.

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Yolanda Wu
09:52 May 24, 2021

This was a wonderful story! It was fast-paced and exciting, you established the setting and characters really well. I loved the dialogue back and forth between Tristen and Kendra when they were trapped, how they both kind of opened up to each other and share their struggles. A bit of criticism that I can offer is since the setting is in one place where they can't do much, integrating brief flashbacks or reflections on Tristen's part would have made it a lot more interesting, rather than dialogue back and forth, which leans more towards tell...

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An Echo
19:56 May 26, 2021

I had to cut down five hundred words to be able to make the target. I guess it's me holding on to my darlings, but I felt I should have narrated his mother death but I would only be able to write a few lines or I'd to cut something out to accommodate a deeper narrative and I couldn't decide. Thank you for taking out time to read and commenting. I really appreciate it.

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Yolanda Wu
21:19 May 26, 2021

Ah, the Reedsy word limit once again. Don't worry, I've had to do that for several of my stories as well.

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An Echo
00:18 May 22, 2021

Storytelling takes us to a place. Today a story made me cry. I only hope this story takes you somewhere, makes you feel something. Did you cringe? Laugh? Smirk? Or Cry? Did you notice the pun? Please point out errors. Tell your friends. Have a nice day

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