Raya Castor's words ring through my head over and over. "There's more at play than the history you know." There's more going on than what everyone's telling us. I can't handle this. I can't handle the nobles and royals staring and whispering about me, and the fact that Raya Castor knew my best friend. Nepthys was part of something more complicated than I had ever thought. It's confusing to think of, at first, and even more so that she didn't tell me. Why wouldn't she, especially when I told her? What is my best friend hiding? I don't seem to know anything anymore.
I fled the room as non-suspiciously as I could, walking through a white marble archway out to the gardens. But I don't stop there, walking past them and back to the columned hallway. I didn't get far before a guard noticed me. They knew I wasn't a noble, and I clearly didn't look like one. Before I could say anything, both he and the rest of the corridor vanished, replaced with a void blurred with colors. It felt like I was in Raya's memories.
I finally fell to the ground, staring down at the concrete floor. Was that what it felt like for someone else to Teleport me? It felt like my body was crumbling into millions of tiny specks, only to be put back together a moment later. I stood, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. I was wearing different, plainer clothes, rather than the pale blue dress. It was a fitted black shirt, with two silver stripes running down each side. They started at my shoulders and matched the pants. I was out of high heels, shoes replaced with lace-up combat boots.
Karila, who was in the same attire, pointed at a tall, intimidating-looking man. He had a scalding amber gaze and dark hair dyed a platinum white at the tips.
"What...?" I didn't know what to say. I looked around, eyes widening in recognition. I remember the cold, stone corridors from Raya's memory. That's where she had shown Nepthys the dragons. This place was a circular rendezvous point with a high ceiling between hallways. It looked an awful lot like the passageways under the palace.
Everyone else looked as perplexed as I did, except for the one person I knew wouldn't be. Therin looked calm, face expressionless as he met my eyes for a second, long enough for him to know that Raya had told me.
The man started walking down the largest, central corridor, figures cloaked in black surrounding us as we walked. It got colder every step, just like in Raya's memory. We soon reached a set of tall, black doors. It was silent as they opened. The light from the long, tall-ceilinged room blinded me for a moment. It was as large as the place from Raya's memories. Barriers made of a translucent material separated different sections. A large, scaled creature occupied each one.
They were dragons.
"Which one's yours?" A cloaked figure asked, voice all but a whisper. I turned to look at them, but only caught the sight of two, glowing green eyes before they seemed to vanish. "Look." I heard again and stared down the long corridor. I saw Therin walking down the center way, and mirrored him.
The scaled creatures stared as we passed. Some were larger than others, with wings they opened that almost filled their entire cage. Some were in shades of dark blue and purple, with splatters of white and silver scales. It looked like stars in a night sky. Others had long, twisted horns, with wings that ended in sharp spikes. Scale formations that looked like icicles ran down their back and legs. Some were compact and strutting about, staring at the contestants. Others were long and lean, curled up in the confines of their transparent prison.
Raya told you. I snapped my gaze back to Therin. It was startling hearing a voice in my head. It was like he was right next to me but wasn't. I gave a slight nod, looking away from him and back to the dragons.
I stopped at the end, my eyes falling on the creature who stood inside. The dragon wasn't small but not as massive as the others. This creature looked at me with the deepest blue eyes I had ever seen. It pushed its beak-like muzzle towards me, but I didn't step back. The fact that the creature had feathered wings magnified it even more.
This dragon wasn't afraid, and neither was I. This dragon didn't want to fight, but would if necessary. It seemed to know that I was an Empath, waves of emotion tumbling through my mind. It felt different than when I read someone's emotions. It felt...stronger. More intense, yet still precise. Like a crashing wave versus a flowing river. It felt powerful. It made me feel powerful.
The creature was slender, with a long neck and tail that flared out with gray. Short, compact feathers covered the creature, with longer ones on the wings. They resembled scales and took me a moment to realize what they were. It stared down at me, leaning forward so that its face was in front of mine. It was a girl, I could tell right away. Male dragons usually have larger sets of horns. This one had two, sleek white ones that flared out at the top, inset within speckles of deep violet scales.
She was my dragon.
The door slid open, and the dragon stared at me as I walked forward. Her eyes stayed on mine as I reached out. I could feel her tense as I touched my hand to her nose, but then relax as she saw I wasn't a threat. I sat down in front of her, and the dragon stood. I could plainly see scars streaking her body. She fluffed up her wings, extending them to their full length before tucking them neatly back in.
Veradis. The name echoed through my skull, then stopped. She-Veradis- stared at me with those blue eyes. She had seen things that no creature should see. She had been through things no creature should have to endure. It angered me as a crashing wave of pain and sorrow radiated from her. It hurt to feel. It was infuriating that people did this, and then lied to the citizens about what was really going on. A tear slipped down my face, staining the white marble floor with a glistening drop. This dragon was so beautiful, so powerful and strong. Yet so broken.
A glowing green symbol appeared above the transparent cage, along with a hologram of my picture on the door. It took the shape of an intricate, curling vine twisted around a leaf. The crest of Forane.
I then looked around. Most of the others had the same, their lights in different colors and shapes. Alaric was the only person who had the same sign as me. The hues and symbols were by kingdom.
The bright scarlet belonged to Sinistra, and a glimmering silver for Alcator. Alderon was deep indigo, like the night sky. Riverdeen was a bright shade of azure, and Forane was an emerald green like ferns.
I looked to the cage on my left and found it occupied by a female with wavy, dark brown hair, green eyes, and caramel skin. I remember her name as Anya.
The symbol above her dragon's space is a small, silver knife. Darker gray, vine-like lines wove in and out to create three circles behind the weapon. One behind the gleaming tip, the second behind the blade, and the last behind the hilt. The hilt itself looked like it was made from a glowing, white stone. A diamond.
She was from Alcator, Sinistra's closest ally. The two kingdoms were one.
I stood as a cloaked figure appeared in the doorway. Veradis growled, standing to her full height. They extended their hand, and I stared. They were silent, and my arm raised without me doing so. The cloaked figure is a Telepath. A powerful one.
They pressed their fingers to my forearm, and I yanked it away as I felt a burning, tingling sensation. I looked down at my branded skin. A small, foreign symbol stared back at me for a moment before fading. I looked back up at the cloaked figure, but they were gone. I turned back to Veradis, and she pressed her nose to my arm. This dragon couldn't be old. She seemed younger than fifty years, which is equal to a young teen.
"Ready for tomorrow?" I asked her softly, and she stared, letting out a huff as she pawed at the ground. The chains made of black mist tightened around her ankles, and then stilled. She sat back down, and I mirrored her. I leaned against her, surprised to find the feathers feeling more like scales. She wrapped her tail around me in a protective circle, and I exhaled a breath. "Me neither."
********************
We had woken up before dawn and been Teleported to small buildings far from the palace. No other contestants were here beside me. They had given me a form-fitting dark gray shirt with matching pants. They were made of a material that deflected strikes, and acted as armor. I tugged down on the sleeve of my jacket as two white-coats entered. The male looked at me with a pitiful expression, while the female didn't show any signs of feeling. They walked me down the stark white corridors, not attempting to fill the deathly silence.
The cloaked figures joined the group, too. For some reason, I felt relieved. I couldn't explain the feeling. I was glad people were there.
I wish my brother was here. I wish Nepthys was here. I wish anyone- even Alaric Emrys- was with me.
I heard a roar and the clamoring of white-coats and guards. I'll have Veradis. We soon reached a large chamber, with white columns surrounding the walls and meeting at the ceiling. They formed a weaved dome, the marble crossing in and out like the Alcatorian crest.
They led Veradis in, the bonds on her legs crumbling to dust as soon as she entered. We wouldn't have fought the white-coats and guards, even if Verdis and I had wanted to. As soon as she had stepped in, a barrier had separated us from everyone else.
I looked forward to the glowing whiteness that filled the largest doorway. I walked forward, Veradis behind me. She didn't want me alone in the arena, even if it put her life on the line.
"Well, this is it." I whispered to her, and she stared at the glowing mass. She knelt, and it took a moment for me to understand what she wanted. I climbed onto her back, gripping the long, sturdy feathers tightly.
Veradis stood, and I didn't look back as she launched into the air.
There was only one way to go, and it was forward.
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292 comments
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Mira, First off, in the first and second paragraph you repeat "Nepthys was part of something more complicated than I had ever thought. I didn't even know that she tried to do what I'm attempting." Also, you didn't use enough of Eriene's emotions!!! GIVE US MORE OF HHHHHHHEEEEEEEERRRRRR FEEELINGS!!!! There were a lot of typos, so Grammarly it over again. I LOVED THE CHARACTERS!!! THERIN WAS GETTING NICER I REALLY LOVED THE PLOT GREAT JOB!!!!
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EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKK I HATE TYPOS. Yeas, Therin is secretly niceeeeee. OK I WILL ADD IN MORE ERIENE EMOTION OTHERWISE.....WHAT ELSE
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Nothing, just typos and emotions!! Also, in the beginning your sentences seem a bit clipped, like you're repeating the same dramatic effect over and over, which makes it less dramatic. maybe use that time to describe her surroundings. GREAT JOB THOOOOOOOOOOOO
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I FIXED THE BEGINNINGGGGGGGGG. UGHHHHHH WHERE ARE THE TYPOSSSSSS
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besides the repeated two sentences... just read it again or put it in a Grammarly document.
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OK WILL DO
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OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG THIS WAS SO GOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED FOR PART 10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Tell me when you post it!!!!!!!!) GREAT JOB! :D
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YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!! I just made some edits thanks to Luke... THE ARENA'S GOING TO BE SO FUN TO WRITE!!!!!!! *SQUEAL*
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ITS GONNA BE SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKK THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I might also do something from Luke's perspective, idk. Because I ship him and Eriene SO MUCH now. XD
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OOH that would be nice!!!!!!! LOLLLL XDDD
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YEASSSSSSSSS!!! AND MAYBE SOMETHING FROM THERIN'S ABOUT RAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wow. The dragons... I feel for them When me?
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IK I AM SORRY FOR NOT HAVING YOU ALONG WITH A BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE IN IT YET BUT I HAVE A PLAN DON'T WORRY. You'll be in after the arena.
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OMG Okieeeeeeee
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MIRA SPAM LIKE 300 POSTS AND I WILL UPVOTE YOU
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please! I wanna get you too 7000!
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or at least 6000 lol
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ok
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ok
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ok
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I changed my bio!!
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I LARB IT!!!! YEAS, THE QUEEN OF FANTASY IS MOI!!!! ThE qUeEn Of NaMes....HHHmmmmm....(Veradis, Eriene, Alaric, Altair, Lein, Emery, Verone, Sinistra, Alcator, Forane, Riverdeen, Elree....HMMmmMMMmmmm......))
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I LARB IT!!!! YEAS, THE QUEEN OF FANTASY IS MOI!!!! ThE qUeEn Of NaMes....HHHmmmmm....(Veradis, Eriene, Alaric, Altair, Lein, Emery, Verone, Sinistra, Alcator, Forane, Riverdeen, Elree....HMMmmMMMmmmm......))
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SHE IS THE QUEEN OF NAMES IM SORRYYYYYY BUT YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF FANTASY
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........Ok fine
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FELICITY PATHIS GOT DOWNVOTED HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP
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FELICITY PATHIS GOT DOWNVOTED HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP
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........Ok fine
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"This dragon was so beautiful, so powerful and strong. Yet so broken." I LOVE THAT!!! No wonder they call you the Fantasy Queen (at least that's what I call you). You write so deeply, like I can almost feel it and it's digging deep. I LOVE DRAGONS! I am surprised at myself for not reading this series sooner :) IT'S JUST SOOOOOOO GOOD!!! -Lone Wolf
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! (So many people call me the Fantasy Queen. I am OVERWHELMED with joy and happiness and thankfulness and...etc)
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! (So many people call me the Fantasy Queen. I am OVERWHELMED with joy and happiness and thankfulness and...etc)
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! (So many people call me the Fantasy Queen. I am OVERWHELMED with joy and happiness and thankfulness and...etc)
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you are welcome :)))) You truly are :)
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:DD
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:DD
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Wow! I get more sucked in with every part of the story! You are heightening suspense, raising questions I can't wait to have answered, and making each portion as exciting as the last! Your worldbuilding is on point, and so are your characters!
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Thank you so much!!!
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Thank you so much!!!
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....you didn't TELL ME PART 9 WAS OUT as usual, awesome job though - don't really have to say that anymore, its EXPECTED :D upvoted you a ton <3
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GAAASP!!! I DIDN'T??? SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaawwwwww, thank you!!! MERCI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to return the favor ASAPPPP!!! (Also, any critiques??? At all???)
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de rien mon amie :) and i'm rereading it for some critiques bc when I read friends stories, I read it in a friend light, THEN critique light :D
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Gotcha, gotcha. WELL READ IT IN CRITIQUE LIGHT I NEED CRITIQUESSSSSSSS
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"The chains made of black mist tightened around her ankles, and the stilled." They, not the literally you've got everything else!!! I would just take more of your dramatic sentences and space them out, kinda what like Luke was saying :D
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Got it, thanks. Typo, again. Yeah...I've been trying to figure out how to do that and stay true to my writing style, if that even makes sense. XD
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nonononono you're doing an aMAXING job already :D you're getting there, and I'm super proud of how far you've come already <3
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AaaaaAAAaaawwwWWWWw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But i just don't understand what "spacing out" the dramatic sentences means. Like, cutting them down so that it isn't repetitive?
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fellow mallow here! *ahem* By the mallowness vested in me, I dub thee receiver of my upvotes! to... 5300 points!
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GAAAAAAASSSSSSPPPPP!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! I, a fellow Mallow, am off to upvote you ASAP
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GAAAAAAASSSSSSPPPPP!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! I, a fellow Mallow, am off to upvote you ASAP
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TTHHHXXX :DDDDD too bad i dont have a lot of comment for u to upvote *meh* oh well
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That's okkkkkkk, I'll try!!!!!!!
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:DDDDDD
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YOU GOT DOWNVOTED I AM CALLING THE MALLOWS TO HELP
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MIRA LOOK AT MY POINTS
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IK YOUR'RE WELCOMEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! AND CONGRATS!!!!!!!
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IK YOUR'RE WELCOMEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! AND CONGRATS!!!!!!!
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:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
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:) :) :) I'M PAST 5000 THANK YOU
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:) :) :) I'M PAST 5000 THANK YOU
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NO PROBBBBB NOW JENNIE'S GOTTA GET TO 3000
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WILL DO
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WILL DO
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"They led Veradis in, the bonds on her legs crumbling to dust as soon as she entered. We wouldn't have fought the white-coats and guards, even if Verdis and I had wanted to. As soon as she had stepped in, a barrier had separated us from everyone else." Uhh I think that should be: "They led Veradis in, the bonds on her legs crumbling to dust as soon as she entered. We couldn't have fought the white-coats and guards, even if Veradis and I had wanted to; as soon as she had stepped in, a barrier had separated us from everyone else."
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Oooh, yeah. Thanks!!! (My writing definitely improves throughout, lol.)
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Sorry i forgot that i was like months late to this-
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It's fine XD I almost never go back to edit the first sections of TDR, so critiques like what you gave really help
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xD
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Oooh, yeah. Thanks!!! (My writing definitely improves throughout, lol.)
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I love Veradis!
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:D
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:D
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Fav color?
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Hmmmmm....silver, sapphire, or neon green
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Pick onnnnnneeeeeeeee
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Sapphire blue
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Okie be ready for new series
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GAAAAAASPPP!!! YAAAAAAAY
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NEW THREAD
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OH HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
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OH HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
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HI I CAN'T TALK MORE I GTG
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BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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Wow, that's really, really cool! Yesss, I loved the Veradis scene, as well!!! Thank you so much for reading, and I'm glad you liked it!!!!!!! :D
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Wow, that's really, really cool! Yesss, I loved the Veradis scene, as well!!! Thank you so much for reading, and I'm glad you liked it!!!!!!! :D
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HEEEEEEEEERE WE GO!
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