He
Black was all he could see under the water. Black was all he wanted to see for the rest of his life. Black like the feathers of a raven, black like the nail polish that she had thrown out of her window, black like the depths of his heart, the parts devoid of feeling.
As he brought his arms down and pushed himself up, he wondered what would happen if he stopped pushing. His lips pulled at the thought of lying on the ground of the sea and becoming one with the black. Becoming black itself.
His head broke the surface of the water, as he took in a deep breath and the familiar taste and rough feel of salty water enveloped his body in a loving embrace.
He had always wondered why white was the colour that made up every other colour when black should have been that colour. He could have even shown them, how all the red sunsets and the yellow beaches and the green garden and the blue skies always ended up in black. All the happiest moments which were remembered in the brightest of colours and the tangiest of memories were all lies.
The only truth was that it would always end in black.
When everything came to an end, black would be the only one who would give you company. Black was everyone’s best friend and worst enemy.
But it depended on you, it always did.
He swam to shore, his mind still wrapped up in thoughts of black, and as soon as his toes were tickled by the wet sand, he looked up, just to make sure she was still there, that she hadn’t been lost to the black that he seemed to carry with him everywhere.
To his utter surprise, she was not air as he had expected. Her body was still there, and it was bathed in the white moonlight that never seemed to reach him.
She ran a hand through her damp hair, and her pearly white teeth glistened in the spotlight that was on her.
As she glided towards the water and her glistening body slowly began to disappear under the water, he watched until the white faded out of existence, and there was only black left.
She
She missed the nail polish she had bought for herself when she made contact with the water. She missed its reliable colour, and how well it would have suited her. She knew exactly why she had thrown it away.
She hadn’t wanted to erase the white.
Her body belonged in the slippery water. It was meant to be there, it fit perfectly. The waters seemed to part and curl to receive her as she pushed her legs until they screamed in pain and she laughed with joy at their protests, her breath coming up in small shiny bubbles under the sea, even though she couldn’t see them.
When she turned over and performed a backstroke, she could see the moon, the white blinding her and comforting her. It was a perfect circle today, tarnished in some places. Everything was imperfect. Even the moon. Even her.
The white of the moon was just like the kind of white he had always been in her life, the white she couldn’t tear her eyes away from, the white that was always there and never let her down, no matter how many others had managed to do that.
Whatever happened, he was there.
And he carried the white with him, wherever he went.
It seemed to flow with him effortlessly, the white that made up all the colours that existed and even the ones that didn’t. He added colour to everything he touched, it was like magic. He saw the colours and became the colours. He saw her, and thought she was perfect, even though the moon wasn’t. She knew she wasn’t, but when he looked at her, she could feel the other colours in the pit of her stomach.
He was colourful beyond comprehension.
She was the colourless one, the one who saw the world and saw nothing that was worth looking at, except for him and the moon.
He was her moon.
Broken in some places, tarnished in others, but more whole than she ever thought was even possible.
They
She was out of the black and water and in his arms before she could take in all the white.
His slender hands trickled over her body and brought back all the colours, the black and whites, and even the greys.
His lips cupped hers, and their colours were blurred.
As he lowered her to the sand that lined the beach, she knew that he wouldn’t let go. And she wouldn’t either.
Their bodies were sticky with the remnants of each other. Their tongues were sweet after their taste of each other.
The colours that were in her slowly began to rise up from inside her.
This time she wouldn’t push it down.
She ran her hands over his body until she heard a sound emanate from him that brought out her pearly teeth.
He ran his hands over her body and pushed until she rolled her eyes back.
They didn’t stop until they could see all the colours.
And when they finally did, they only smiled their colourful smiles.
Their fingers were still intertwined as they lay there, the grains of sand sticking to every part of their body and making them more connected than before.
The sky was a beautiful clear black today, and the diamonds in the sky shined as bright as he did for her and she did for him.
They lay there till the sky lightened and the rays of the sun shined off their wet bodies.
They lay there until the colours changed, and even after they did.
They lay there until all the blacks and whites and greys of the world didn’t matter, and what only mattered was each other.
And when the diamonds returned in all their twinkling glory, they held on to each other and didn’t let go.
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145 comments
This is a beautiful piece-- I'm glad I clicked on your story! I love the way you formatted it. It almost feels like I'm reading a poem, but your vernacular helps ground it, so it feels very real. I get a sense of magical realism from your piece that makes time seem... well, intriguingly beautiful. It reminds me of of a quote from Rashomon, by Akutagawa: "Yet even a desolate life can reveal a world of beauty when viewed through a mist of tears." I can't wait to read more of your work!
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Thank you so much, I really appreciate the comment! If you would like to read any more of my stories, I would recommend 'Not Worth It' and 'Still Have Each Other', to start with :)
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I will be sure to check those pieces out! I just joined Reedsy and entered my first story called "Are the stars more beautiful than me?" I'm so excited to be a part of this community!
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That's great to know :)
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Hi, I love how you set this up with He, She, and then coming together as They. That structure itself makes this a strong piece. The only thing that confuses me is how they both see the other as white and themselves as black or imperfect. It makes me wonder if there is a huge misunderstanding of either themselves or the other. But maybe that is love, right? We see the best in the other and the worst in ourselves.
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Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it! Yes exactly, you hit the nail on the head. We tend to consider the person we love as perfect, and see imperfections only in ourselves. I would appreciate feedback on a story of mine called 'Not Worth It' :)
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Awesome, I always try to understand what the author was thinking so I read it the way they intended. Sure, I’d love to read your next one! Would you mind checking out my story Ripped? 🙂
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Sure, I'll check it out!
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What does it mean if you have been down voted? I've only just started and have 2 stories published but i have hardly any votes, or likes. Does this effect anything? Also, the style was very different to what I normally expect. Not a bad thing! But what style would this sort of writing be? I like the he, she and they style at end. I would love to give that a go for a future story.
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Thank you so much, I really appreciate the comment! Being downvoted means that someone takes away the points you have by pressing the down-facing arrow next to the comment. When you do eventually gain some popularity in this community, some people will try to put you down by taking away your points. I'm glad you liked the style of the story! I actually came up with it myself, so I would appreciate if other people didn't use it, I hope you understand :)
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OK thank you for clarifying. I don't see what the point of down voting is then, seems quite negative. Facebook and instagram don't even have dislike options. But no worries, glad people are helping you back up.
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Yes, it is quite negative, I don't see the point of it either.
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Remember me? Ahh, well, if you don't scratch that. You still getting downvoted? Also, do you ever plan to leave Reedsy? Pray you don't. (I'm atheist.)
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Of course I remember you :) I'm not getting downvoted as much anymore, thankfully. I don't plan to leave Reedsy in the near future, I appreciate you praying even though you're an atheist :)
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Yeah, yeah, oh, yeahhhhh just saying-you better leave Reedsy when you've won 1million contests, okay?
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I still have a long way to go for that 🤣🤣
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Yesh, which means you'll stay on Reedsy for a while.
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Yes, for sure :)
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Yeah, your writing style has really improved. I loved it. I loved how black and white were different but when they were together they showed the world the beauty of colors and magic. It was poetic and lovely. I liked the plot it was awesome. Keep writing.
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Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!
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Any problem here?
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I don't mean for this to be touchy but are you a girl/boy?
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I'm a girl, nothing touchy about it :)
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Ahh okay, I thought you were a boy, my bad XD
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That's okay :)
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Hey, can you give your feedback on my story " attached to a string" It's my first story I would love to hear your opinion?
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I'll read it when I get the time :)
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Beautifully narrated. Its beautiful.
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Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! I would love feedback on 'Not Worth It' :)
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Here am I, back for the comment! I enjoyed the two characters sort of mirroring each other (my interpretation had the water reflecting both the black sky and the silver moon?) and what I read as the optical prism allusion! Keeping it so simple and so effective is really hard to do!
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Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! That's a really beautiful interpretation, thank you for that, I'm glad you liked it :) I would love feedback on a story of mine called 'Not Worth It'
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Love this!
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Thanks :)
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Why are people down voting you? You are an amazing writer and I Can't believe ANYONE would do this!!!! If I knew the person who did this, I would...I don't know but what I would do wouldn't be good to them! I'm totally gonna up vote you because 2000 points is just wrong!!! Honestly, they must be jealous of your writing ability!!! Keep going!!! Points are just numbers, and what matters is that you stay true to yourself. Sending all my love, Cass
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Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! It has been really hard for me to see my points slowly go down the drain after everything I've done to get it up there. Thank you for your encouragement and support, it is really kind of you :)
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Of course!!! Your such an amazing writer and you really don't deserve this :)
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Aww thank you!
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NP!!!
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Please read my story once..
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Don't let downvoting break your heart! You're still an amazing person! I love this story and no one deserves to telly you you're bad. You are funny and cool and an awesome writer, and anyone who thinks messing around with your points can make you sad, well, prove them wrong! Write like a maniac! Prove to the world that you're amazing and don't ever stop. You work miracles on characters. KEEP ON WRITING! DON'T LET THE NUMBER BRING YOU DOWN! DOWNVOTER: STOP BREAKING WRITER MANIAC'S HEART!
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Aww thank you, that's so sweet of you to say! I'm sorry to let you know, but I just got downvoted by 2000 points 😭😭I try not to let it affect me, but sometimes it's really hard not to
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That's a lot. Those guys need to learn a lesson about downvoting. IT'S BAD!
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Could you please try and upvote me a bit?
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Urgh... downvoters suck Ok!
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Thank you 💖
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I got upvoted a bit, and then downvoted again by about 350 points right now 😭
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I - wow! Your descriptions were exceptional! I love how touching it was and how you described their love for each other, and those details. Perfect! I love the Black and White theme and how they describe themselves and each other differently. It was an interesting piece! Great job Mania! Keep writing!
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Hey, it's been so long since we've talked! How have you been? Thank you for the feedback, I really appreciate it! I've written quite a bunch of stories since we last talked, so I would love your feedback on some of them, if you're up for it :)
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Yeahh! I have been doing pretty decent! Thanks for asking! How are you? And sureee! I would love if you checked out some of mine too😌
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I would recommend reading 'Still Have Each Other', 'Remember that Night', 'Paper and Ink', 'Not Worth It', and 'Game Over'. What would you recommend out of your stories?
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Sounds nice! I recommend fℓσωєяѕ, ۵яє∂, Starry Eyes☆ and 12.
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I'll check them out soon!
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This is a beautiful story! Your writing is so descriptive and rich! The only thing I noticed was you wrote, “she pushed her legs until they screamed with pain”. I think you might have meant lungs. Anyway, I love the contrast between the black and white, and the way the story flowed. Thanks for the amazing read!
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Thank you so much, I appreciate the comment! I did mean legs itself, I'm talking about when she's swimming, so she pushes her legs to reach to the shore, I hope that makes sense. Thanks for reading! I would love to hear your thoughts on 'Game Over' :)
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Oh that makes since. Sure, I’ll check it out when I get the chance! And if you don’t mind, I would appreciate some feedback on my story “She wished she could tell her” :)
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I'll be sure to check out your story :)
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Oh my gosh... this is great! No wonder it got so many likes- Great job :) Thanks for your support on my first story too, I’ve published a second part and I’m working on a third...
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Thank you! It's wonderful to know that you're publishing more parts to your story, great job to you too!
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Hi! My story is out now..!
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I love the structure you created. I got a better feel for it after I read it a second... and a third... time. The flow is great. As someone else mentioned, a lot like poetry. Your imagery is beautiful and the mirroring of black/white and he/she is really brilliant. Who cares about those votes? Your creativity shines through like those diamonds in the sky they saw!
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Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! I tried quite a different style for this one, so I'm glad it worked out okay :) Aww, thank you for the story reference as well! I would love your feedback on a story of mine called 'Not Worth It' :)
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Hi I’m new here!! As your story is first does that mean that you won this contest ?xx
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No, the winners will be announced only this Friday. The winners have the trophy symbol next to their story, so that means that they won. I haven't won.
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Okay thank you. I’ve just submitted my first story for the ‘A year on’ contest. When will the winner be announced ? Your story is incredible by the way xxx
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The winner for the contest will be announced in the Friday after this one. Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked the story!
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Could you read my story? I’m so nervous as I’ve never shared my writing before
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I'll be sure to check it out soon :)
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Okay thank you. I’ve just submitted my first story for the ‘A year on’ contest. When will the winner be announced ? Your story is incredible by the way xxx
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Okay thank you. I’ve just submitted my first story for the ‘A year on’ contest. When will the winner be announced ? Your story is incredible by the way xxx
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That was a really good story. The way you described the world, gave it a kind of magical touch to it. I like it.
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Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!
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AHHHHH THIS STORY HAS THE MOST LIKESSS AHHHHH
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Yayyyy actually 'Not Worth It' has the most likes but still yayyy
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Yayy! I'm writing a new story, and I'd ask for you to be in it. If you do, fill this out: Name: Gender: Sexuality: Normal Clothing: Personality (please describe well): Eye Color: Hair Color: Skin Color: Power(s) (might be included):
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Aww thank you! Name: Mania Gender: Female Sexuality: Bisexual Normal Clothing: Shirts and pants/ hoodies and sweatpants Personality (please describe well): Loves family and friends dearly, will work hard to achieve her goals, trusts the wrong people at times Eye Color: Emerald green (just a deep wish) Hair Color: Ruby red (fake) Skin Color: Amber coloured (this is actually kind of true) Power(s) (might be included): Fire manipulation
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Also YOUR BI? OH MAHH GGOSHHH I SUPPORTT U ALL THE WAY TO DEATHHH I LOVEEEE LGBTQ+ PPL!!!
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AWWW YAYYY THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
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Thanks! One quick. Thing-what color clothing?
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Probably green or blue
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I love your use of black and white in this story, and I absolutely love the line "They didn’t stop until they could see all the colours." Don't ever stop writing!
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Thank you so much, I'm so glad you liked the story and I appreciate the feedback!
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