The Camp (part 2)

Submitted into Contest #57 in response to: Write a story about someone breaking a long family tradition.... view prompt

211 comments

Fantasy

None of these New prompt's aren't exactly what i thought for my stories, this probably won't match exactly but the "tradition" let's say is no one going to the camp, i'm just trying my best with these ones.

They had all told him to not go to that 'terrible' place, but how could he not? he felt like he belonged there. he knew that there would be more people like him. There had been other's in his family that had been like him, but they had never went to it. he decided that it was time to finally do it.

He sneaks out in the middle of the night, his family members are all heavy sleeper's so he was able to do this a lot anyway. He had to get to the camp, who knows if he did maybe he could meet his father. Arren was the son of Apollo though he lived with his mother and two little sisters. he quickly packed up some of his things and then jumped out the window, like Apollo he really liked music and hoped to be a singer one day.

He luckily knew where the camp was after having done some research a few weeks ago it wouldn't take long for him to get there. he hoped. If his family ever knew he left at least they wouldn't be able to go after him, no mortal could ever be able to enter the camp. he didn't understand why the other ones before him let this happen and never went to the camp.

"camp illusion" was the name of the place, Eros and Psyche had made the camp many years ago, he heard that they would come from to time to teach some of the Demi-gods something. He didn't know what though, he hoped that it would maybe be something with singing, he was terrible at it.

He could see something in the distance, he didn't really see anyone but he was still far away a bit but maybe they were all in the cabins. "illus" was the only part he could see of the sign but he still knew that it was the camp. He wondered how many Demi-god's were there and how many he would meet there.

He got closer and closer when he then started to hear something...above him? could some of them fly? maybe it was that. "move outta the way!" he heard someone call out from above, was that a rainbow??

he jumped back just in time for the rainbow to fully form and two girl's come down from it. "woah woah who are you??" he asked the girls, were they what he had heard?

The girl with the wings and brown hair stepped forward as she made the rainbow disappear as she kind of bowed. "my name is Harmony, daughter of Iris." she introduced herself. wow, she was really formal.

Iris...? iris....goddess of rainbows! that makes sense with the rainbow now. Arren thought. He looked towards the camp again and still didn't see anyone, the others must be in their cabins, but why were these two out here on a rainbow?

he stepped forward as he bowed back and then said "My name is Arren, son of Apollo" he hoped that this was what he was supposed to do. This was his first time actually meeting other demi-god's and wasn't sure how he was supposed to act with them. maybe they all felt the same way.

The other girl had black hair and green eyes with...wolf ears and a tail? Arren didn't know any Greek gods or Goddesses that looked like that. she wasn't as formal as she just waved at him "My name is Lia, Daughter of Lupa, roman Goddess of wolves."

"Roman?? i thought the camp was only for Greek!" he didn't have a problem with roman Gods or goddesses but he thought the camp's were only for Greek demi-gods. Wasn't there maybe another camp only for roman Demi-gods?

"Nope, along with Eros and Psyche there was a roman goddess that helped make the camp...but i don't remember who" Harmony said with a small laugh.

"so are you new to the camp? you wouldn't come here if you were a mortal." Lia then asked him. it had been a while since the last new demi-god came to the camp. she knew he was the son of apollo but she was just telling him.

"uh..yeah i am...i kinda ran away from my home to get here..." he coughed awkwardly, wanting to change the subject. He wasn't sure if either of them wanted to hear this story, they probably came here in different way than him.

"its fine, i kinda did to.." Lia then told him with a small smile.

Harmony flew up spreading her wings and began to fly through the camp, feeling the wind through her wings. "oh! uh come with us we can show you around" Lia grabbed Arren's hand and ran into the camp going after harmony. She was always so fast when she would fly, she wasn't that fast though when running.

"sometime's i wish that i could fly" Lia said with a small laugh as the two of them followed her. Arren wanted that to, it would have saved him a while to get to the camp but unluckily for him Apollo didn't have wings. maybe he could find some of those winged sandals though.

"so how long have you both been here?" He asked as Harmony shows him some of the Cabins. they both seemed to know where everything was at so he assumed they've been here for a really long time.

"i've been here for for six months, Harmony has been here for i think four weeks"

Arren wondered how long he would stay there for, he didn't want to go back to his mortal family. They were kind of boring and never did that much. His little sister's were twins and seven years old all they ever did was play with dolls. His mother was a stay at home worker but she was busy either way.

"do you wanna stay with us in our cabin? it's not that far from here." Harmony asked as she flew down to the two of them. Even if she didn't have to, she almost always flew. it was one of the best feelings in the world.

Arren nodded, he already knew the two of them so he'd rather stay with them then some other demi-gods he doesn't know. He'd get to know these two better anyway if he was with them in the cabin.

After just 2 minutes they reach a Cabin and enter there's four bed's which are bunk beds, they have signs on them that show who stays there. four? "whos the other demi-god...?"

"oh that belongs to Adi, she's the daughter of Aphrodite don't worry though she's not that much like her mother shes really fun" Lia told him with a smile. out of Lia, harmony and Adi she had been the longest to be there in the group. She'd been there for maybe two years.

The three of them began to talk for three hours, getting to know each other better. Harmony was 16 and so was Lia while Arren was 15. Lia had also ran away from her family but it was because her family hated the Roman and Greek gods especially the demi-gods.

"Do you think we'll ever meet our parent's?" Arren then asked as the other two looked down. they all wanted to meet their parent's but there wasn't really a chance that any of them would, they just had to hope for the best.

"come with us Arren, lets go have some fun" Harmony said with a small laugh as she stretches her wings, it must be a place that the two of them along with Adi would hang out with.

They all reached a building that was a bit far from the cabin but it was still in the camp. "no one ever really comes to this thing but it's still fun to do it" Lia told him as they entered.

He decides to just roll with this even if he asked why, he wasn't so sure that Either of them knew why either. He was just glad to not be alone here.

The three of them began to talk about a few gods, when then suddenly the building began to shake. was this an earthquake? whatever it was it was bad...real bad.

"u-um don't worry i'm sure it's-" Lia stopped when suddenly some of the roof nearby and the wall fell. the building was collapsing!

"oh no come on we gotta go!" Lia grabs his hand again as the three of them began to run out of the building. why was this happening? it seemed fine a few days ago!

The building was to small for harmony to fly out so she just had to run, until crashing was heard and a small scream. Some of the fallen roof and wall had fallen on top of Harmony and one of her wings, she was unable to get out.

Arren and Lia made it out of the building together just in time to realize Harmony was stuck in there. they watched as all of the building collapsed.

August 28, 2020 15:53

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211 comments

C. M
14:16 Sep 04, 2020

It´s a great story B.W! I really enjoyed it, even though there were a few spelling errors and I´d divide the text into paragraphs more to make it more readable. I liked the flow of the story and the cliffhanger as well. You really improved.

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B. W.
14:18 Sep 04, 2020

Thank's im glad you enjoyed it! :) in like an hour or so i think the new prompts come out so i hope i'll be able to try and use Grammarly to help me without forgetting. A couple new stories should be out really soon so once they are i'll tell you ^^

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C. M
18:41 Sep 10, 2020

That´s great!

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B. W.
18:45 Sep 10, 2020

Okay- by now a LOT of stories are out because its been a while. so go check out "Not his fault" and "getting her back" then tell me what ya think

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E.N. Holder
20:35 Aug 28, 2020

Hello! I've always loved the Percy Jackson series so this was fun to read! Make sure that you are capitalizing the first words in dialogue, it can make things a little distracting if it's not. In the opening, instead of referring to "they," refer to who "they" actually is, it will make things more clear. So for example, if "they" is his family, say "His family had all told him to not go." Besides those small errors, you do a great job keeping the story moving forward, and have a great sense of pacing. Keep it up!!

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B. W.
23:59 Aug 28, 2020

hey part 3 is out if you wanna go and give it a read, i'd be glad to see what you have to say for that one. "Not his fault" is the name

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Adah M.M
20:28 Aug 28, 2020

Yo !!!, Amazing story. This story reminds me of Percy Jackson, the whole demi-god stuff. I'm not really fond of the ending tho but it's still an amazing story.

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B. W.
21:00 Aug 28, 2020

I'm glad you liked the story and it reminds you of it because i was inspired by it ^^ whats wrong with the ending though?

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Great story! I love the shocking ending you had here, very unexpected. Nice job on writing this.

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B. W.
23:53 Aug 28, 2020

part 3 is now out ^^ "not his fault"

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Nayab Ahmar
19:46 Aug 28, 2020

I really liked this story, it brought me back to my percy jackson days haha :) Other than some grammatical errors, the story was really good and the characters very likeable! The cliffhanger ending makes me want to read more! Great job and keep writing :)

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B. W.
20:12 Aug 28, 2020

Thank's i'm glad you enjoyed it. i know i still have to try and use Grammarly or something else to help me but i keep forgetting. Part 3 might be out later today or tomorrow so i might tell you when its out :) did you maybe have a favorite part to it or a favorite character?

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Nayab Ahmar
21:10 Aug 28, 2020

Don't worry about, the more you write the better you'll get!! I make a lot of grammatical errors as well which is why I spend centuries editing even if it's a short story haha. I'll look forward to part 3 then :) My favourite would have to be Arren- maybe it's because he's the main character and we see the world through his perspective, but I may have developed a soft spot for him :)

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B. W.
21:11 Aug 28, 2020

Thanks for that ^^ yeah part 1 was through harmony's perspective and part 2 was through Arren's part 3 and the other parts might be a different perspective each time, aw thats kinda cute :) what did you think of the ending?

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Nayab Ahmar
21:20 Aug 28, 2020

It's interesting that we get to see many perspectives!! As for the ending, cliffhangers and open endings are the best, so I liked it :) P.S, unrelated but if you like horror or thriller stories, I would ask you to read my story "Found You" :)

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B. W.
21:22 Aug 28, 2020

Actually to tell ya, in part 3 theres gonna be another perspective of another new character you haven't met yet :) and sure i'll give it a read.

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Sam S.
08:28 Sep 03, 2020

Wow, I loved reading this story. I like the names you've used in this story; especially Arren. A part 3 is totally desired. Again, a few capitalization errors but no worries:) The main thing is you conveyed the story to us perfectly and that's what matters the most. Stay safe and come up with a pen name asap:) ~ K

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B. W.
12:46 Sep 03, 2020

There IS a part 3 if you wanna go and check it out, its called "not his fault" I'm going to try and use grammarly later on in my other stories so no worries. and why do you keep mentioning that??

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Amiable Sorceress
11:41 Sep 01, 2020

Hi! This story is amazing! Great cliffhanger; I'm going to read part three after this! I loved the way you included greek/roman mythology (big Percy Jackson fan !), and the only thing I saw that needed a little work were some grammar and punctuation issues. AMAZING JOB! And keep writing :)

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B. W.
12:48 Sep 01, 2020

Thank's im glad you liked it ^^ yeah i've always loved Greek and a bit of Roman Mythology and i got inspired by Percy Jackson so i decided to do it. i'm going to try and use grammarly soon to fix my grammar whenever i make a new story. did you maybe have a favorite part?

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Jewels 🌊🐅
16:55 Aug 30, 2020

Amazing Story! Snaps for you. I love how detailed the story is, and you use the italics very well. Great job :D

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B. W.
16:58 Aug 30, 2020

Thank's im glad you liked this story ^^ did you maybe have a favorite part or a favorite character in this part?

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Avani G
16:19 Aug 30, 2020

Nice story! I'll give you feedback tomorrow, because I have somewhere to go!

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B. W.
16:28 Aug 30, 2020

Thank's i'm glad you liked it ^^ and alright thats fine as long as you still give feedback

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Libby Carter
14:51 Aug 30, 2020

Great job! You need to fix some grammatical things like capitalization, but over all I loved the story!

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B. W.
14:58 Aug 30, 2020

Thank's im glad you enjoyed it ^^ yes i know maybe i should still try to use Grammarly or something later on. What did you like most of the story? and there's two other parts that you could maybe go and check out to tell me what you think "Not his fault" and "her arrival"

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Libby Carter
15:01 Aug 30, 2020

I really like the idea of children of gods and goddesses. The Greek and Romans all together is really cool too. Plot wise, I think the ending was my favorite part because I really want to know what happens next.

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B. W.
15:03 Aug 30, 2020

At first i had thought of it being just the greek demi-gods but then someone told me about something with a roman god and i decided to do both of Greek and Roman. i'm glad you liked the ending and the story in general. there's kind of another part that you could check out thats about iris called "Her arrival" and i'd wanna see what you have to say

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Kat Stokes
21:26 Aug 29, 2020

Great as always! I especially loved the way you ended it. Keep up the amazing writing :)

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B. W.
21:45 Aug 29, 2020

Thank's im glad you liked it ^^ yeah i liked the ending as well because i've always kinda wanted to do a cliff-hanger ending like this. i don't think you've seen part 3 so would you wanna check that one out as well? "not his fault" is the name of it, i think its a bit sadder with the ending then in this one and a bit through out the full story as well

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Angelina Valencia
17:56 Aug 29, 2020

This was a great story! I noticed some people have told you about the grammatical errors but don't worry, I'm sure you'll figure it out! I think its more of the capitalization so you got this! Other than that, great story, keep it up!

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B. W.
18:00 Aug 29, 2020

Thank's im glad you enjoyed the story ^^ yeah they've been doing that for a while but never pointing out where it is so i can fix it but thats alright i guess. It's probably better to try with the capitalization like you said. There's still a part 3 for you to check out as well ^^ "not his fault" and what did you think of the cliff-hanger ending?

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Angelina Valencia
18:11 Aug 29, 2020

I thought it was great, definitely wanted me reading more of it. I think what I really liked was how you ended it by saying how they watched as the building collapse, leaving the reader to understand what was actually happening. I would gladly love to help you out on your corrections, the first thing you should do is focus on Capitalization. When doing this, make sure the beginning of every sentence is capitalized, your main error was that the letter 'I' was never capitalized. When writing things like "i saw her running'' or "The mistake ...

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B. W.
18:17 Aug 29, 2020

Thank's im glad you did, yeah i feel like that's the main thing i actually have to work on and not the other things. And thank's again for giving me help with some of that stuff which in my other stories ill try my best to work on ^^ to make them better than these ones. i was also wondering and i hope i haven't already asked if you could maybe try to help me get ideas for what could happen in part 4 of this?

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Angelina Valencia
18:21 Aug 29, 2020

Well, it is a fantasy story and I don't know it you're basing it off of actual goddess stuff because I don't really know much about it. But if you're not, maybe have something like...idk, spirits coming to help her off the crashed building on her and give her another life or something. I'm not sure, I would just tell you to be creative, that's what writing is all about. Write something that pleases you and makes you happy with what you wrote, don't worry about what others might think of how you put the story together.

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B. W.
18:33 Aug 29, 2020

All the Gods and Goddesses are real ones from myths and not fake ones i just made up for it if your asking that. though the spirit thing im not sure could happen but there is a goddess of ghosts so there's a small chance that it could be a small thing but probably not. If someone dies they go to the underworld where Hades is so if she did the spirits would have to go down there to save her or someone else. There's a few myths showing this of people going to the underworld to save someone but things can go wrong and the one they had to save e...

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Jan H
17:26 Aug 29, 2020

Good job on the plot. You have a vivid imagination and give unique backstory to the god and goddess stories. I enjoyed reading it. Work on your grammar and spelling and watch the capitalization in your sentences. Most importantly, keep up the good work and keep writing!

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B. W.
17:44 Aug 29, 2020

Thank you i'm glad you enjoyed the story with all of the things and yes i know i need to try and work on those things, but maybe could you tell me where those are happening so i could edit it and fix it? and yes don't worry i'll continue to write more stories a lot and what did you think of the cliff-hanger ending?

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Jan H
18:06 Aug 29, 2020

B.W., I did enjoy the cliff-hanger ending. It gave you room to continue the story. I can tell you are working on the grammar. I would say, keep an eye on capitalizing the first word in your sentences. Check for consistency in your capitalization. Example: Iris...? iris....goddess of rainbows! that makes sense with the rainbow now. Iris should be capitalized both times. The word 'that' should be capitalized at the start of the sentence. The word goddess isn't capitalized in this example, but you did capitalize it other times through ...

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B. W.
18:15 Aug 29, 2020

Im glad you did ^^ thank's for some of the Help with that stuff and yeah it was really helpful to me :) thank you. i just seem to always forget when to do some of the stuff. but yes your right about how everyone makes mistakes :) and i was wondering and i hope i didn't ask you already if you could maybe help me try to think of what would happen in part 4?

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Jan H
20:28 Aug 29, 2020

I think it might be fun if Harmony is still alive. Maybe taken away by one of the gods or goddesses. Everyone thinks she's dead under the rubble, but she's not there and reappears to their surprise. I don't really know what you have in mind with your characters, but some sort of secret might be fun. Maybe she is dead, but an imposter shows up pretending to be her. I don't have as good of imagination as you do though.

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B. W.
20:39 Aug 29, 2020

Okay funny you say the thing with an imposter showing up pretending to be her because i role-play from time to time and still make small stories from time to time not on here and that's happened in both of the things before and that almost made me laugh. If she lives because i'm not entirely sure still maybe Lia and the other's would save her or maybe Iris could save her daughter. There's other things i could maybe do but i still don't have ideas. i'm also not saying she's dead but if she was and i don't have much ideas for that way either t...

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Saron Mengistu
15:26 Aug 29, 2020

Hello!! You asked me to review this story so HERE I AM!! Okay. First of all, I love that you used my Lia idea. I'm so touched😊 Thank you. I love the action in the story, and the abrupt friendship between the three demigods. Impressive conclusion, that cliffhanger was subtle and well written. It'll make the reader want more. Paragraphing and structure needs a work, some parts of this seem a bit bunched up when you should have clicked enter. Transitions could improve too. This story has a lot of action-filled events, so making sure that ...

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B. W.
15:31 Aug 29, 2020

Thank's im glad you came here and liked the story ^^ yeah no problem, i never heard of Lupa until you told me about her and she became really interesting to me and i've always loved wolves so i decided to go with it. I had also had the plan to do the cliff-hanger a while ago during part 1 and decided to do it now. i know i have to work on all that stuff, maybe i'll try and use Grammarly or something then :) also i'm not sure if you knew or not but i have a part 3 out already called "Not his fault" so you could go check that one out and tell ...

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Saron Mengistu
15:37 Aug 29, 2020

You're most welcome. Anytime;) I'll check your other story out too! Do you mind checking out my new story, too? Thanks friend!

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B. W.
15:41 Aug 29, 2020

Sure i'll check out yours while i check out yours ^^ i'm excited for what ya have to say with that one

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Yolanda Wu
23:59 Aug 28, 2020

Wow, this was such a fun story! Glad Harmony appears again, as well as a cast of new characters that was so interesting to read about. And that cliffhanger, my heart is on the line for Harmony. And also how Arren and Lia react to that. Wonderful work!

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B. W.
00:03 Aug 29, 2020

Yep i'm glad you enjoyed this one ^^ Harmony may have been the main character and the perspective we saw in the first one but now it belongs to Arren as the main one at least for this one and this is how it'll be for each of the parts with the perspectives switching characters each time. i'm glad that you also really liked the cliff-hanger when i started working on part 1 i actually already had the idea to try and do that. part 3 is actually out now because i finished it a couple minutes ago. so if your wanting to go and read that then go ah...

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Yolanda Wu
00:05 Aug 29, 2020

Yes, of courseee!

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B. W.
00:06 Aug 29, 2020

:) can't wait to see what ya have to say for that one ^^ i think the goddess child series is so far my best stories that i've done tbh

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Whitney Trang
23:18 Aug 28, 2020

Oh! What a suspenseful way to end the story! I’m glad to have met some of the other demigods.

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B. W.
23:47 Aug 28, 2020

Thanks im glad you liked it. i also may have just finished part 3 of the story so if you wanna go check it out and leave a comment "not his fault" is the name

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Avery G.
20:43 Aug 28, 2020

Cool story! I loved it! The ending was my favorite part! Great job!

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B. W.
21:04 Aug 28, 2020

thanks, im glad you enjoyed it ^^ what do you think is going to happen to harmony?

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Avery G.
21:06 Aug 28, 2020

Ooh...i don't know. Maybe she turns out to be hurt or something???? I don't know.

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B. W.
23:53 Aug 28, 2020

hey i just finished with part 3 ^^ go check it out i'd like to see what you have to say "Not his fault"

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Avery G.
02:14 Aug 29, 2020

Oh, okay!

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B. W.
02:15 Aug 29, 2020

Yep ^^ can't wait to see what you have to say :)

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. .
21:42 Nov 09, 2020

SEE! This was uninterrupted story, unlike Part 1. I liked it a lot, but I would love to see more greek gods. Great demigod foundation. Don't you feel like there is just some other mythology that needs to be used in writing? Great story foundation, Great job.

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B. W.
21:52 Nov 09, 2020

I mostly know of Greek and Roman mythology, and just a bit of Egyptian mythology and not much of norse. In later parts of my series I think there are more gods and stuff, there will also be a spin off of the series which will have new characters and other mythologies besides Greek and Roman. did ya maybe have a favorite part or anything like that?

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. .
21:57 Nov 09, 2020

My favorite part is always the intros!!

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B. W.
22:01 Nov 09, 2020

Hm, maybe ya could help me with the spin off in a way? like at least for the mythologies that will be there. The main characters in it would be from greek and some roman mythology, though maybe i could a different one.

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. .
22:04 Nov 09, 2020

Sure! I would love to!

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B. W.
22:15 Nov 09, 2020

thanks, thats fine ^^

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. .
22:06 Nov 09, 2020

Maybe tomorrow, tho.

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