Suitors of the Elements (Part 1 WoE)

Submitted into Contest #73 in response to: Write about someone who gets proposed to five times on Christmas Eve.... view prompt

91 comments

Fantasy Suspense

*Part 1 of the War of the Elements!!!


The seven elements that make up the world as known are Fire, Water, Land, Air, Sand, Ice, Light, Darkness. Long ago, when the world was made, each element needed a place for their soul to live. Thus, the elements each inhabited the body of a man. The power of the elements soon became the power of men, and each of the men had the powers of elements. Soon, these men with their powers created empires and since they were so formidable with their powers, nobody dared contradict them. Surprisingly, the powers of the elements could be inherited, but only in the royal family... 


Princess Mira's POV


“Lady Mira? Lady Mira! Where are you? The suitors are coming in fifty minutes! You better not be drawing again!”

When the nurse finally found Lady Mira after ten minutes (she was hidden inside a kitchen cabinet), it was time to prepare her for the night.  

First, she was squeezed into a tight corset which made breathing quite the ordeal. A lavender ballgown with puffed sleeves and large bouffant skirts was then slipped on top of that. After that, Lady Mira’s black, wavy hair was yanked and pulled, until two sections of hair had been successfully braided and tied together in the back (Lady Mira kept twisting and fidgeting).  

“It’s your fault if you never get married, since I can only manage a simple hairstyle today due to your extremely immature actions today that have put us on an extremely tight schedule. In fact, I was planning to do a Lockheart braid down the middle and part two sections to intertwine on the side.” 

“Who cares? I can tell you I’m not getting married today, or any day.” 

“You had better not say that in front of your father. He’s expecting you to be married within a month. I hear he especially has his sights set on Prince Jean Valerie.” 

“Blargh. Hurry up and put on all the jewelry please. Let’s get this over with.”  

When all the bracelets, necklaces, and bits of diamonds were all fastened on, Lady Mira looked like the perfect princess... Oh, if only she’d smile and stop scowling.  

~ ~ ~ 

“Announcing, Prince Emerys Mayeson of the Cair Highland Empire, to ask Lady Mira Nobelius’s hand in marriage.” Trumpets blared, and flags were waved, as the great doors of the castle opened. A massive white stallion bedecked in jewels entered and sitting on top of the stallion was a wide-chested, burly looking man. He dismounted the stallion and swept into a low bow at the king’s feet.  

“Your majesty, I humbly ask your gracious blessing for your beautiful, delightful, and bountiful daughter's hand in marriage.” King Nobelius motioned for him to stand up as Lady Mira rolled her eyes. How would he know how delightful she was? She had never met him. The blustering idiot, trying to marry her for her father’s empire.  

“I daresay, Prince Emerys, you shall have to ask her; after all, she’s the one getting married.” The prince seemed shocked at this suggestion, but promptly went into another deep bow at Lady’s Mira’s feet.  

“Dear Lady, on this fine Yuletide Eve--” 

“What’s that?” Lady Mira interrupted. She saw the nurse violently motioning towards the Christmas tree in the center of the hall.  

“Oh, we call it Christmas here.” 

“Dear Lady, on this fine Yuletide Eve, if you take my hand in marriage, you shall live a happy, submissive life as one of the many wives of the future king of Cair Highland. You will have many riches, clothes, extravagant--” 

“Submissive? Uh, father, I don’t think so.” And with that, King Nobelius waved at the guards to take the prince out of the castle. Moments later, the great doors opened again. In came a flying eagle, who was as massive as terrifying. Mounted on the eagle was a wiry looking man with a dark mustache.  

“Announcing Prince Azoren Ucmaq of the great Ucanzona Empire--” 

“Father, I don’t like eagles.” And so the next prince was also turned down.  

Throughout the next hour, two more princes came to ask Princess Mira’s hand in marriage, and they were both turned away (Prince Ali Gainmah declared that Princess Mira’s only job would be to give birth to hundreds of babies and Prince Killink Chandro’s polar bears went diving for fish in the great fountain and shattered the porcelain).  

King Nobelius sighed, as Prince Killink Chandro left dejectedly, with his two polar bears trudging behind him (with no fishes).  

“Daughter, I am getting old, and I shall want to see my daughter married when I pass-” 

“Father-” 

“Yes, you are perfectly capable of being a king, and you don’t even want to get married, but the world does not work like that, dear. In fact, you are most suitable out of all my sons to be king, because you are the only one who has the power of water. The liquid substance is one of the most essential elements in this world, and the power of water that runs in your blood must not be forsaken.” 

“I know that, but every prince that came didn’t even have powers. They just want my powers in their children. Besides, I didn’t even like any of them. Who says I’m even interested in men anyhow?” The king took no notice of this, since at the very moment, the doors opened again.  

“Announcing, Prince Jean Valerie of the great Trevas Empire to ask Princess Mira Nobelius’ hand in marriage.” Suddenly, there seemed to be a great hole which appeared in the great hall. A gaping black crevasse. And from inside, leapt out a tall figure heavily clothed in black armor. On both sides of him came three men each clothed in pitch black coverings carrying heavy spears.  

“I am Prince Jean Valerie, and my father asks to send his greetings to King Nobelius.” The prince wore somewhat of a mask, and only his eyes were visible. Princess Mira felt a sense of foreboding, and fear, at the mysteriousness of the prince and his entourage.  

“Ahhh, young prince, I’m glad you have come. Your father told me you were interested in my dear Mira, and I do think you would be a perfect match.” At this, Prince Jean Valerie’s eyes turned over to Princess Mira and swept over her with a sharp gaze.  

“She is very pretty. Does she have any powers?” 

“Indeed, she is my only child blessed with the power of water out of seven other sons. I do believe you have the power of darkness?” So now Princess Mira understood. The black crevass was the way those with the powers of darkness traveled. They could manipulate the dark by hiding in it, and being it. They could travel in the shadows, and blend in in everything that was dark. This was a formidable power, especially in wars, and Princess Mira simply couldn’t see a future which she had to live with somebody who could disappear under her nose and reappear in the shadows.  

“Father, next please.” 

“Daughter, please properly consider this one! I’m sure Prince Jean will fulfill your desires if you give him the chance.” Suddenly, the prince disappeared from sight, but the next moment, Princess Mira felt a chilling shiver down her spine. With a gasp, she realized that the Prince had reappeared in her shadow.  

“Turn me down and you shall regret your choice very much, little girl.” 

“Father! Please take him out!” Shrieked Princess Mira who was thoroughly creeped and frightened by the prince. And with a swift motion, the prince transformed into a wisp of a shadow and reappeared next to the king. However, he didn’t stop there. The wisp grew into a great coiling snake of darkness, wrapping around the king until the king was thoroughly engulfed. Then, the pitch black shadows disappeared altogether, taking King Nobelius with them.   


---------------------------

Heyyyy... Thanks for reading! So this is only part one, and obviously features Mira Caplan (bestieeee). However, Kate and Luke are also part of this story, but I just need to finish writing their parts using the other prompts! So stay tuned for parts 2, 3, and 4!!!

December 24, 2020 03:17

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

91 comments

✰ Jennie ✰
03:26 Dec 24, 2020

Mira Caplan is featured!!!! Kate and Litlover, don't lose hope!!! I'm getting out your parts tommorow!!!! Also, Mira, apparently you have the power of water...? sorry I didn't ask :(

Reply

Mira Caplan
03:30 Dec 24, 2020

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MIRA MEANS OCEAN IN SANSKRIT THAT'S PERFECTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Reply

Mira Caplan
03:32 Dec 24, 2020

Maybe I could also bridge to Wind, since when water gets boiled and evaporates it becomes steam??? Or even have the ability to boil water, bridging with fire???? MAYBE EVERYONE (or just SOME people) COULD BRIDGE WITH ANOTHER TYPE OF MAGIC???? (They could literally just call it "Bridging." Lol. (Your world, your rules!!! Just an idea.)

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
03:42 Dec 24, 2020

OMG good ideaaa!!!!! but powers are only received through the bloodline... (actually there's gonna be a twist :DDDDDDD)

Reply

Mira Caplan
03:53 Dec 24, 2020

Like, what if when different bloodlines/families converged, the heir to both/the child could have bridged abilities!

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
04:03 Dec 24, 2020

oh yeah... that was one thing I was thinking about too!!!!

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Mira Caplan
03:53 Dec 24, 2020

Like, what if when different bloodlines/families converged, the heir to both/the child could have bridged abilities!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Kate Reynolds
20:31 Dec 25, 2020

OMG NEW STORYYY THIS WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Omg how do you write like this XD THANKS FOR INCLUDING MEEEE!! Btw I just posted a new story :D

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
20:35 Dec 25, 2020

really? yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy plus your backstory is coming out in like 1 hour!!!!!!!!!!

Reply

Kate Reynolds
20:37 Dec 25, 2020

AHH SO EXCITEDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Kate Reynolds
17:41 Dec 27, 2020

YOU'RE AT 1000!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
✰ Jennie ✰
20:35 Dec 25, 2020

OMG IMMA READ YOUR STORYYYYYYY

Reply

Kate Reynolds
20:37 Dec 25, 2020

THANK YOUUUUUUUUU :DDDDDDDD

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Antonio Jesus
18:22 Feb 02, 2021

Can you help me I am loney

Reply

Show 0 replies

This is... ONE OF THE BEEEEEEEESSSSTTT element-fantasies on Reedsy! I haven't found a lot, but this is my #1 favorite.

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
19:16 Dec 31, 2020

Really!?!?? Omg thxxxx WE MARSHMALLOWS YES? Yayayyy

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
21:48 Dec 31, 2020

yayayay!!! we are marshmallows bum ba dum bum bum! (sung to We Are Farmers, bum ba dum bum bum)

Reply

LOL that's really funny!

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
22:18 Dec 31, 2020

you recognize it right lol

Reply

Show 0 replies
✰ Jennie ✰
22:20 Dec 31, 2020

Btw, where do you most wanna go?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Gip Roberts
19:43 Dec 27, 2020

Good world-building! I felt like I was there watching Mira do the wise thing by turning down all these princes with their ulterior motives. Good, creepy ending leading into Part Two also.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Saizen 🦜
17:52 Dec 27, 2020

This is interesting. I'm really excited to see more of a story. Most of all, I like how Mira stand for herself and did not settle for anyone she didn't like. I hope she ended up being the king, and prove to the others that not wanting to get married isn't some girlish rebellious phase. For a second I was worried that Mira would swoon over that dark, mysterious prince lol. In terms of writing style, I'd say it reminds me of 2010s teenage fantasy writer. It's perfectly fine if that's what you're going for. I'm pointing it out because it'...

Reply

Show 0 replies

CAN I BE IN THe STIRY? YOU ARE REALLY GOOD AT THIS *awkward smile* *leaves really fast*

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
01:11 Dec 27, 2020

Omg yaassss I’ll have you in the story!!!! Tell me how you would like to look like! Also do you want land Sand or air power?

Reply

Purple hair, air power, smart, and wears a long black robe all the timeeee THANkS sooOOo MuCH

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
01:22 Dec 27, 2020

Coooooool!!!! You wanna be royalty or commoner with extra powers? Luke is commoner with extra powers Mira is princess and Kate is commoner with royal blood injected into her The powers only run in royal bloodline btw

Reply

Royalty! 💜💜💜💜💜💜

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
✰ Jennie ✰
01:22 Dec 27, 2020

Coooooool!!!! You wanna be royalty or commoner with extra powers? Luke is commoner with extra powers Mira is princess and Kate is commoner with royal blood injected into her The powers only run in royal bloodline btw

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
15:52 Dec 25, 2020

AHHHHH i love this! the end was fantastic, and the storyline is kinda like a series called Princess Academy. you're great at writing fantasy AHHHHH 😘 - Amethyst

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
17:33 Dec 25, 2020

really???? thanks!!!! omg i so happyyyyyyy

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
TJ Squared
00:09 Feb 23, 2021

this was cool and fun! I will read the other parts soon!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Antonio Jesus
18:21 Feb 02, 2021

KNOCK KNOCK

Reply

Show 0 replies
Antonio Jesus
18:20 Feb 02, 2021

Hola

Reply

Show 0 replies
Antonio Jesus
18:20 Feb 02, 2021

Jennie

Reply

Show 0 replies
Lilliane Wei
21:16 Jan 25, 2021

Nice story, Cherry/Camille/Jennie. I really like the drama and quick timing of the story, I'll definitely check out the other parts soon!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Corey Melin
02:26 Jan 24, 2021

Oh my! Now here is a topic I utterly enjoy since I started reading and writing. After reading around two thousand books or more I can say this one entices me.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Sunny 🌼
23:34 Jan 22, 2021

Oh hey, Mira's in this story! Cool! Also, the Jean dude is extremely sus...

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
23:36 Jan 22, 2021

ikr.... yep he's the bad guy! I suggest you read this series from part one onwards!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
00:42 Jan 13, 2021

OMG I AM READING THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I AM SO EXCITED TO READ THE REST AND TO HAVE ME IN HERE!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! SHANK YOU SMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
00:58 Jan 13, 2021

squeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!! yaaaaaaaassssss thankeeee

Reply

01:00 Jan 13, 2021

You're welcome! :D

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
<inactive> .
04:07 Jan 04, 2021

Wow that’s real complicated and I am now invested so great job!! It’s completely your choice but I would love to be featured! Lemme read the other two parts tho

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
13:06 Jan 04, 2021

OMG YOU ARE TOO NICE!!!!!!!! YES YOU SHALL BE IN DA STORY!!! YOU ARE CELESTE"S SISTER RIGHT??????????? OK YOU WILL BE HER SISTER IN THE STORY... (unless you wanna be something else but I'm totally fine with that!) IF YOU ARE CELESTE'S SISTER: you will have air powers (flying, wind control, you live in the sky castle) and because celeste was locked up for much of her teen life (lol, you have to read the next part to find out why tho...) and you help her escape and you two save the world yay IF YOU WANT DIFFERENT POWERS: tell me which out ...

Reply

<inactive> .
14:54 Jan 04, 2021

Hmm... I wanna be her sister, but I wanna be weird too so could you make me look NOT like my siblings and be a mix power of wind and darkness? And then maybe plot twist where I am like soul related to Jean Valerie the hipster dark dude?

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
15:07 Jan 04, 2021

oh woahhhhhhhhh sure! then could I write it that you're also royalty but your family can't realize you have powers of darkness so you have to hide it. But when the war starts, you realize you are torn in half because the Air Kingdom is against the Darkness Kingdom... ok?

Reply

Can I also have dark powers? Like seacrt power?

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
16:31 Jan 04, 2021

can you have light power instead pls....? Imma make you have light powers

Reply

Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
<inactive> .
17:32 Jan 04, 2021

ty!!!

Reply

Sisisiisiis! Next story I am stuuuuck..

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
✰ Jennie ✰
15:09 Jan 04, 2021

oh woahhhhhhhhh sure! then could I write it that you're also royalty but your family can't realize you have powers of darkness so you have to hide it. But when the war starts, you realize you are torn in half because the Air Kingdom is against the Darkness Kingdom... ok?

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
21:08 Jan 08, 2021

intense squealing

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
21:08 Jan 08, 2021

intense squealing

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
✰ Jennie ✰
15:10 Jan 04, 2021

oh lol sure... and you can like help make peace in the war because you are a younger sister or something of Jean Valerie so he wouldn't want to kill you OMG I LOVE THESE PLOT TWISTS SO MUCHHHHHHHHHGGG

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 3 replies
<inactive> .
14:55 Jan 04, 2021

Thank you!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Mira Caplan
03:29 Dec 24, 2020

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSSSSSS!!! GREAT JOB, BESTIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok- fantasy tips. 1. What you did for the beginning was great, but a little unclear. I would add in more detail so that the world has a stronger base, and zoom in on the idea of Elemental magic. 2. This is just a general tip, but you could also add in a bit of internal monologue from Mira, (meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!) and accentuate her feelings on the betroth...

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
03:46 Dec 24, 2020

WOW thank you so much!!! I also thought I needed to expand and explain more in the beginning. im not so good at 1st person, but I think I should try it next for Mira. The magic part I'm not so familiar with, but I will try to add it in when I have time! wow I learned so much from you!!!!!!!!

Reply

Mira Caplan
03:49 Dec 24, 2020

:) Glad I could help!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
✰ Jennie ✰
16:28 Jan 05, 2021

part 4 is out :DDDDD

Reply

Show 0 replies
Mira Caplan
03:33 Dec 24, 2020

Btw, that "you better not be drawing again" MADE ME LAUGH SO MUCH BECAUSE IT'S SOOOOOOOOOOO TRUE!!!!! (I was literally drawing before this XDDD)

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
04:02 Dec 24, 2020

ahaahahahha lollllllllll I felt like that was you :))))))))

Reply

Mira Caplan
04:20 Dec 24, 2020

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Mira Caplan
03:36 Dec 24, 2020

Actually, cross off the part about describing the dress. That was perfection.

Reply

Mira Caplan
03:38 Dec 24, 2020

I LOVED ITTT

Reply

✰ Jennie ✰
03:44 Dec 24, 2020

wow really??? That was my first stab at fantasy... EVERRR!!! i had to read dragon races + malefice (and tons of SGE, WoF, KOTLC, and others) upteen times to know how to write fantasy!!! you are too supportive!

Reply

Mira Caplan
03:49 Dec 24, 2020

XDDD TDR and Malefice are GREAT fantasy stories here on Reedsy, if I do say so myself. :) :) :) Happy Holidays, Jen!!!!!

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Show 3 replies
19:06 Jan 14, 2021

This was so good!!!! I'm officially hooked and leaving to go read the other parts!!!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in the Reedsy Book Editor. 100% free.