23 comments

Drama Fiction Sad

This story contains themes or mentions of suicide or self harm.

Snow, the coldly white surface, the soft white blanket, which hid the jagged rocks below. Like a deadly beauty, the iron fist in a velvet glove.


I shivered involuntarily, as I looked at the seemingly innocent falling snowflakes, covering the vicious terrain like a dense fog, making those jagged rocks look like a plain.


I let out a sigh, another lonely Christmas. Why? oh why did it have to snow today?

I knew better than to step out, one wrong step and goodbye sweet world.


I looked at my empty cup, with a few sugar crystals at the bottom.

Sighing, I pushed back my chair to get another cup of coffee.


Ping

Ping


"Hold on, I am coming," I yelled to my phone.


I cringed, even though I knew no one was watching me.


Well, that's what being stuck in a cabin for a month alone, researching, does, I suppose.


Turned out, Dayanita, my colleague and best friend, had texted me.


Hey Ai! Whatcha doin?

Merry Christmas, by the way


I typed back,

Merry Christmas! Nothing much, snowing, so, can't go out, unfortunately :(


She replied almost at once,


It's snowing? Waaaooow, did you build a snowman? ;)


I might be many things, but I am not mad. There's no way I am stepping on snow.


Should I tell her?

No way....



Awwww, come on, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity, I mean, who gets to see snow everyday?


People who live in mountains!(atleast in India) Easy Peasy!



My phone screen flickered, that's when I noticed the Battery column and the phone died as if on cue.


Oh no! Another one hour till it gets recharged, I'll have to wait till one hour to see her reply.  

Even my laptop was discharged. Now I couldn’t even play the Funeral March to my phone. Worst day ever.


"Unreliable twenty first century technology," I grumbled under my breath.


With nothing to do now, my gaze went involuntarily towards the window and out towards the falling crystals of snow.


I went towards the window, and gazed at it, as my thoughts went back to that day….


“Ha ha! Gotcha!”

A snow ball hit me smack on the face.


I gathered a fistful of snow, impatient to get back at my brother “Gotcha back!”


His stunned face sent me in fits of laughter.


“Wait till I get you!” he yelled furiously


“Try to” I sang back to him and set off running, when I realised he wasn’t joking.


The war of snow turned into a game of Tag.


We were having the time of our lives, running and falling in the soft snow, as it enveloped us, where it was too thick.


I was 'It' at that time, I remembered all too clearly.

He looked back to see whether I was gaining on him. Oh you shouldn’t have Adi, you shouldn’t have.


He stepped on the treacherous snow, the loose rocks giving way from under him.


His eyes widened in shock as he screamed with all his might.  I tried reaching him, but he slipped inches away from my hand.


Sorry Adi, I am really sorry.


I tasted the salt water on my tongue, only to realise, that I was crying. I shivered uncontrollably as the scene flashed again and again through my mind.


I turned away from the window, not wanting to be reminded of the days when I had a real live brother.


I curled up into my bed, trying to sleep, which I was finding quite impossible to do.


The bed creaked as I climbed out of it, it was the third time I had woken up in the night. I checked my watch. 2:00 a.m


I walked around the cabin, trying to tire myself to sleep.

My glance, yet again, fell on the coldly white snow, looking eerily white in the dark.


I was feeling stuffy and annoyed, looking out at the peaceful night. It was so calm and quiet, it felt unusual, having grown accustomed to sleeping to the honking cars.


I felt a great urge to go and get some fresh air. Yet, I didn’t dare.


It was growing second by second, the longing I felt to be treading on the luminescent snow.


I sighed as I remembered those days, when we( me and Adi) would have our faces glued to the window, as we used to watch, fascinated at the snowflakes.


Mother used to tell us, “No two snowflakes are alike, each one has a different pattern telling different stories.” then she would add, “Like you, my dears”


I paced restlessly, I couldn’t bear being locked up inside, while the great outdoors was waiting for me.


Finally, I pushed the door open, and pulled my coat around tighter as a gust of wind flew inside, messing up my hair.


I took a small step outside and laughed at the exhilarating feeling I felt at the moment.


For once, I felt free and light. I wanted to run and dance wildly.


For once, I let my fears to the wind and for once, decided to have fun.


I was running on what I assumed was the path downhill, when I stopped to take a breath.


I could see my breath swirling in front of me and dissipating in the darkness, when I heard a creaking sound beneath me.



And then I was falling and falling and falling.


I mused giddily, “Well, I had always wondered what it felt like, flying.”


I didn’t look back either.



A/N- I know, the iron fist in a velvet glove idiom is not exactly used appropriately, but I thought it kind of suited Snow, so...please pardon my wrong usage.

April 10, 2021 10:33

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23 comments

Cole Lane
01:21 Apr 14, 2021

This is a tragic story so well executed!

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KED KED
15:29 Apr 12, 2021

How tragic! You really captured so much emotion is such a short story. Man...all I can think about is that poor mother though... This was beautifully crafted...

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TJ Squared
16:34 May 23, 2021

woah, what a great hook! it sure got my attention! interesting. I guess maybe I love snow because I've never had a bad experience with it lol interestingly written!

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Philia S
16:38 May 23, 2021

Thank you! Lol, actually I've experienced snow only a few times, cause I don't really live in the northern-north XD but I love the mountains and snow all the same!! (Even though the MC hates snow- can't say the same for myself-)

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TJ Squared
18:48 May 23, 2021

yeah I love the mountains and snow too :)

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Philia S
18:50 May 23, 2021

:D So, where you live, you see snow everyday or occasionally or never?

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TJ Squared
18:56 May 23, 2021

well, never XD but I do travel to a different state that has snow lots of the time lol

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Philia S
18:58 May 23, 2021

Me too!! Like, every vacation we just HAVE to go to the mountains, although of course not ALWAYS.. XD

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Oooh I love this! The choppy lines make for a fast-paced read and your imagery is totally improving, as seen in the beautiful first few lines. And you captured the emotion so well, especially in the end 🥺 Love iiit

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Nyema James
02:16 Apr 22, 2021

Hi Sparkle. Thank you for your story. It is easily read tragedy where everything certainly does change just as the prompt requires. If you ever wanna participate in critiquing swps (pre-contest closure) let me know. Oh and if you have time - I'd appreciate any advice in my submission - certainly dont feel obliged. :) Nyema https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/contests/89/submissions/62161/

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Sasha Senaratne
09:50 Apr 21, 2021

Very well done! A beautifully crafted story that entertained till the end.

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Radhika Diksha
08:32 Apr 13, 2021

BY the way, I would love your opinion on my new story.

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Radhika Diksha
08:32 Apr 13, 2021

This story is so emotional and yet you know deep. I loved the idiom, its with you know desi tadka. I loved the entire inner fight and monologue. Great work keep it up.

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15:43 Apr 10, 2021

Oh no. The poor character is going to die like Adi! I relly felt the emotions you were trying to convey with this, you did a great job.

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Lilliane Wei
04:06 May 31, 2022

So beautifully written, Philia! I loved the way you painted the seen with your imagery and I think the iron fist in a velvet glove was perfect in describing snow, especially with the way the story ended. The flashback killed my heart a little though, I really like how you mentioned that Ai missed catching her brother by inches. That must've been especially devastating for her. I can totally see her replaying the moment in her mind's eye, wondering what would've happened if she'd run a little faster...if she'd refused to play tag... Also I've...

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Philia S
11:23 May 31, 2022

I swear you're raising standards for comments-SERIOUSLY I APPRECIATE YOU WASTING YOUR TIME FOR THIS SO MUCH- TvT You didn't have to--my older stories suck. But still, I appreciate it! Thank you so much! Now that I think of it, I used a lot of flashbacks in my stories--my characters unknowingly have PTSD??? And the ending is propogandising su!c!de, tbh. That's why I was contemplating deleting this story but I didn't for some reason(I don't know?). Yes! That's why the increasing dependency on AI is frightening me. I mean I tried cold turkey(...

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Lilliane Wei
06:40 Jun 01, 2022

LOL IT IS NOT A WASTE OF TIME, AND OF COURSE I HAD TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS WORK OF ART. YESSSS PTSD ALL THE PTSD (those non-writers out there, don't question it, just move along, move along) Yeah, I figured about the su!cide thing. It's a good thing to acknowledge tender topics like that, I'm glad you posted it. If people don't acknowledge things like su!cide or mental health issues, how can they be resolved or worked with to improve quality of life? The increasing dependency on AI is both a blessing and a curse. Thankfully, I'm not so far dow...

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Philia S
11:26 Jun 01, 2022

WORK OF ART MY FOOT-MORE LIKE WORK OF ~ABSTRACT~ ART YEEESSSSS GIV EM A LOAD OF DAT STUFF(yes, hurry along, watcha staring at?) Truly. But I still feel uneasy. XD It's like embracing suicide. Glorifying it? Idk. It was more of factual to me--how the MC thought in that situation(not very accurate but I hardly knew anything about the topic--I should rewrite this story.) and how even though she had friends she was lonely(the cabin yk) and then she makes the decision and no one's there to help her. But the decision isn't the right one, of cour...

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Lilliane Wei
18:44 Jun 02, 2022

Yeah, I see what you mean. But I think you described it pretty well in this. Maybe adding something about suicide being something you shouldn't do. Other than that, it was pretty great!! BIRDDSSSSSSSSSS

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Snow, the coldly white surface, the soft white blanket, which hid the jagged rocks below. Like a deadly beauty, the iron fist in a velvet glove. I don't care if you think you used it wrong, it sounds great to me! My favorite line in this story.

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Philia S
03:56 Mar 28, 2022

Yeah, I figured I used it wrong right after my brother read this and pointed it out to me but I kept it in cause it sounded nice to me. TvT Not really very proud of this one(well, I don't like any of the ones I posted here much but whatever- XD) but thanks a lot! I really appreciate it. <3

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Graham Kinross
21:28 Nov 24, 2021

That was sad but beautiful. Great story Philia.

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