Don't Look Back

Snow, the coldly white surface, the soft white blanket, which hid the jagged rocks below. Like a deadly beauty, the iron fist in a velvet glove.

I shivered involuntarily, as I looked at the seemingly innocent falling snowflakes, covering the vicious terrain like a dense fog, making those jagged rocks look like a plain.

I let out a sigh, another lonely Christmas. Why? oh why did it have to snow today?

I knew better than to step out, one wrong step and goodbye sweet world.

I looked at my empty cup, with a few sugar crystals at the bottom.

Sighing, I pushed back my chair to get another cup of coffee.

Ping

Ping

"Hold on, I am coming," I yelled to my phone.

I cringed, even though I knew no one was watching me.

Well, that's what being stuck in a cabin for a month alone, researching, does, I suppose.

Turned out, Dayanita, my colleague and best friend, had texted me.

Hey Ai! Whatcha doin?

Merry Christmas, by the way

I typed back,

Merry Christmas! Nothing much, snowing, so, can't go out, unfortunately :(

She replied almost at once,

It's snowing? Waaaooow, did you build a snowman? ;)

I might be many things, but I am not mad. There's no way I am stepping on snow.

Should I tell her?

No way....

Awwww, come on, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity, I mean, who gets to see snow everyday?

People who live in mountains!(atleast in India) Easy Peasy!

My phone screen flickered, that's when I noticed the Battery column and the phone died as if on cue.

Oh no! Another one hour till it gets recharged, I'll have to wait till one hour to see her reply.  

Even my laptop was discharged. Now I couldn’t even play the Funeral March to my phone. Worst day ever.

"Unreliable twenty first century technology," I grumbled under my breath.

With nothing to do now, my gaze went involuntarily towards the window and out towards the falling crystals of snow.

I went towards the window, and gazed at it, as my thoughts went back to that day….

“Ha ha! Gotcha!”

A snow ball hit me smack on the face.

I gathered a fistful of snow, impatient to get back at my brother “Gotcha back!”

His stunned face sent me in fits of laughter.

“Wait till I get you!” he yelled furiously

“Try to” I sang back to him and set off running, when I realised he wasn’t joking.

The war of snow turned into a game of Tag.

We were having the time of our lives, running and falling in the soft snow, as it enveloped us, where it was too thick.

I was 'It' at that time, I remembered all too clearly.

He looked back to see whether I was gaining on him. Oh you shouldn’t have Adi, you shouldn’t have.

He stepped on the treacherous snow, the loose rocks giving way from under him.

His eyes widened in shock as he screamed with all his might.  I tried reaching him, but he slipped inches away from my hand.

Sorry Adi, I am really sorry.

I tasted the salt water on my tongue, only to realise, that I was crying. I shivered uncontrollably as the scene flashed again and again through my mind.

I turned away from the window, not wanting to be reminded of the days when I had a real live brother.

I curled up into my bed, trying to sleep, which I was finding quite impossible to do.

The bed creaked as I climbed out of it, it was the third time I had woken up in the night. I checked my watch. 2:00 a.m

I walked around the cabin, trying to tire myself to sleep.

My glance, yet again, fell on the coldly white snow, looking eerily white in the dark.

I was feeling stuffy and annoyed, looking out at the peaceful night. It was so calm and quiet, it felt unusual, having grown accustomed to sleeping to the honking cars.

I felt a great urge to go and get some fresh air. Yet, I didn’t dare.

It was growing second by second, the longing I felt to be treading on the luminescent snow.

I sighed as I remembered those days, when we( me and Adi) would have our faces glued to the window, as we used to watch, fascinated at the snowflakes.

Mother used to tell us, “No two snowflakes are alike, each one has a different pattern telling different stories.” then she would add, “Like you, my dears”

I paced restlessly, I couldn’t bear being locked up inside, while the great outdoors was waiting for me.

Finally, I pushed the door open, and pulled my coat around tighter as a gust of wind flew inside, messing up my hair.

I took a small step outside and laughed at the exhilarating feeling I felt at the moment.

For once, I felt free and light. I wanted to run and dance wildly.

For once, I let my fears to the wind and for once, decided to have fun.

I was running on what I assumed was the path downhill, when I stopped to take a breath.

I could see my breath swirling in front of me and dissipating in the darkness, when I heard a creaking sound beneath me.

And then I was falling and falling and falling.

I mused giddily, “Well, I had always wondered what it felt like, flying.”

I didn’t look back either.

A/N- I know, the iron fist in a velvet glove idiom is not exactly used appropriately, but I thought it kind of suited Snow, so...please pardon my wrong usage.